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Make It Out To Kate

Word Count: 1K barely lol

Warning: absolutely none

Author’s Note: This is for the discord server I’m a part of’s Castlemas2020 secret santa! I had Faith (who being an absolute loser I have lost your blog but I will tag you on the server don’t worry!). This piece was hard for me to write because I stopped writing Castle fanfics after getting so much hate on FF.net for stuff I had written there in the Castle universe so this is the first piece I’ve written in a while for it. But I love our Castle server and Castle in general so hopefully Faith likes this!

“Kate. You can make it out to Kate.” Blue eyes pop up to meet hazel and she’s almost shocked to see the falter in his public persona. She’d like to hope that in any other state, his falter would be to a happier look, but after not seeing him for the past three months- she can only see notes of anger in the sea of his eyes. She expects witty banter, even if it’s filled with anger, but what she gets is worse.

He flips the book open to the first page. Writes ‘To Kate. Don’t get burned as Heat Rises. Rick Castle’- the same thing he’s written in hundreds of books. She’s slightly hurt, thinking he’d at least write something more original after three months of not seeing him.

“Castle-“

“I’m sorry. We need to keep the line moving.” Gina says as she motions for Kate to step aside so the next person can have their two minutes with Rick. She knows she may have to wait for him but she will. She knows him. He’ll want to thank everyone who worked the event so she’ll wait at the exit and grab her chance there.

“Thank you so much. Next time I write a book, I’ll be sure to come by.” She hears his voice and it calms her. He sounds like himself, not like the rough persona that showed her when he saw her earlier. Hopefully this is the person she’ll see. But when he sees her, he stiffens up all over again, and tries to pass her without saying anything.

“Castle wait-“

“Sorry, do I know you?”

“Really Castle? We’re going to play this game?”

“You don’t remember to call, I don’t remember you. Seems easy enough.” He turns to walk away and she reaches out to grab him, pulling on her scar in the process. She lets out a harsh puff of air but tries to not let it stop her. He looks at her to see what’s the matter, not being able to step into the role of completely not caring, and sees her hand reaching toward where he assumes there’s a scar from the gunshot.

“I watched you die. The day you got that scar. Did you know that? Do you know what that’s like? To watch the life drain out of someone you love?” The words slip out of him without him meaning to but he doesn’t regret it. Kate stands there shocked but trying to take it in.

“Castle… I told you, I needed some time.” She can’t touch on what he said. Not yet at least.

“You said a few days.”

“Well healing from being shot took a bit longer than I thought it would.”

“Picking up the phone doesn’t take that much effort.” Rick says with anger laced through every word.

“Castle I couldn’t call you. Not without dragging myself into everything I was trying to get some space from. I needed some time to work through everything.” She pauses before adding. “If you really love me you’d understand that.”

“Did Josh help you through everything?” He ignores the dig at his feelings for her.

She pauses, looking away-unable to hold eye contact with him as she says, “we broke up.” Without saying anything else, she crosses the street, to the park she can see across the way there. She hopes he’ll follow, but she’s not as sure as she was before arriving at the bookstore. He pretended to not even know her. But maybe it will be different at the park. It just feels like a place they can talk without the onlookers of the street hearing their every word. Plus, as confident as she may appear, she needs a moment to not stare at him as she plays the words in her head again.

Someone you love. He actually said that. It wasn’t a surprise to her. Not after the words he said to her before. Kate I lov- the words are cut off before any gunshots can ricochet around the space in her mind. Instead she takes a deep breath and focuses on sitting on the empty swings in front of her without pulling on her wound again. She had pulled out the stitches twice trying too damn hard to push ahead with her healing. So her wound pulls at times when it shouldn’t. So she takes things slower than she has to at times.

Holding the book in her hands, she doesn’t even open the book, not wanting to see Rick’s slanting handwriting with the same words he had printed in every other person’s book. But the chains of her swing rattle as he sits down next to her and she can’t help but comment on the one thing she does love. “I like the dedication.”

“It seemed right.”

“Must have been hard writing that ending.”

“Yeah. Yeah, given the circumstances.” There’s a pause that is filled with the sounds of taxis and heartbeats. “So why’d you guys break up?”

“I really really liked him. That wasn’t enough. After my mother was killed, something inside me changed. It’s like I built up this wall inside. I dunno, I guess I didn’t want to hurt like that again. I know that I’m not going to be able to be the kind of person that I want to be, I know I’m not… I’m not going to be able to have the kind of relationship that I want until that wall comes down. And it’s not going to happen until I put this thing to rest.” Kate stares into his face, hoping to see something, some sort of recognition of the man she’s grown to know, to love over the past three years. She sees him going through the steps of processing everything she just said.

“Then I suppose we’re just going to have to find these guys and take them down.” Kate feels the start of a smile growing on her face. But before she can say anything Rick speaks again. “Also, maybe you need something other than a company line in your book?”

“Why Castle? Maybe it will get more with the company line scrawled across it when I hawk it in a few years.”

“Because you deserve extraordinary, not extra ordinary Kate.”