#causings

[causings]

look, i know you’re nervous it’s okay, i am too our love has been doing handstands with closed mouths (biting my tongue never seems to work, poetry falls out of me like a skydiver who left her parachute at home, and all sensibility for that matter) you don’t have to worry about how long you can keep steady, i’m no acrobat either i’m on a balance beam between heart and brain and my wrists are getting tired look, to be honest, i don’t know how to hurt you yet not to say i would ever intentionally hurt you it’s just that i don’t know if you’re weak in the throat or the shoulders or the ankles when i’m clearly weak in the knees i guess that’s what i get for wearing my heart on my sleeve look i feel like you’re the last person i’m ever gonna love and that’s not to say i’m gonna do it correctly and that’s not to say that love poems won’t spill from my lips like blood from a rose thorn prick and that’s not to say my knees won’t wobble from time to time what i mean is, i think our love will be the death of me my wrists are so tired from the weight of it all this love takes everything from me but it’s the only thing that makes me feel brave

HANDSTANDS (WHOEVER LOSES THEIR BALANCE FIRST LOSES THEIR MIND)

[buttererer]

Causings - Cut Through (2015)

[youarecominggoing]

live video documentation of sandy gordon (causings) with anstasia clarke!

live video documentation of sandy gordon (causings) with anstasia clarke! was originally published on pan y rosas discos

[uzalud]

any tumblr crushes?

nitrons, astoundly, inloved, lovbun, causings tbh

[causings]

I love hard. Like a child loves her parents. Like a teenager who has never had her heart broken. Like newlyweds on their wedding night. Sometimes I love too hard, and it is on days like these when I will try to be more gentle. My love will leave you raw. My brothers and I used to play on the edge of the pool for hours. My mom would tell us to get out after a while. “You’ll get raspberries,” she’d say. We would look down at our fingers and toes, pink and raw. They did look a lot like little raspberries. I will love you until you have berries all over. Raspberries on your lips and blueberries on your neck and blackberries all over your tender, swollen heart. My dad used to get drunk and smash things against the walls. My heart has been broken everyday for as long as I can remember. It is routine, and I am not afraid of breaking it again. I will not need you to fix me. I will love you like I have nothing to lose. That is the best I have to offer, and I hope it is enough.

raspberries, jan. 22nd

[demigod-tears]

She called me a storm, but that's only cause she knew. She knew what I was, and what I was capable of, yet she stayed. At least that's what I thought. It wasn't till later that I found out Why I was pulled to her. Her gravity was far greater than mine. She was celestial. We were Jupiter, she was the planet, and I was the storm, ever circling around and around her. But yet we were more than a gas giant. We were an earth, I was the pure force of nature. Everything and anything capable of that tragic beauty in which destruction shows It's elegant side. But she, she was the serenity of life. She was the breathe of a first days light. She was the morning dew, catching the glint of the east rising sun. She was nature that always put herself back together after I would tear through her beautiful landscape. Our love created such a beautiful world. "We made such a mess" that's what she told me one time. She wasn't wrong you know, she really wasn't. But yet, when you look back at history wasn't the Big Bang a giant mess and look what came from that? But now what I realize.. Is that she holds me to her without even trying. I was a torrential storm with no plans to stop but now... Now when I look at her it's as if my chaos still flows but my mind is serene and she holds me still. She is my peace and i am her chaos. I'd give anything to make a mess with her. "We made such a mess.... We made such a mess" I can still hear those words. Forever your storm, and you're forever my earth.

--her storm always (Emil)

[demigod-tears]

You called me a storm, the first to stir my being. Though this is old news, ive been thundering inside for quite some time. You were just the first one to open the window and breathe in the rain. Calling my agenda hidden, but id say its really not. Its an open book with terrified answers, filled with unwanted expectations. Not laughing with the joker, but rather he’s inside me. Im wound up in your teeth, forever twisted in your smile. silently hoping you’ll be the one to eat my heart out. But baby girl ive been spilling over the edges for quite some time. Im not even sure where i leave pieces behind. Less of a suitcase and more of a caravan. A collection of memories and things, far greater than our eyes. And darling believe in the words i weave. they are but the truest parts of me. Although read like theatrical soliloquies, true to the syllable they will forever be. And now i understand youre on your way to find me. ive heard you’re searching, looking at passer-by’s on the street. But love haven’t you heard, the Devil is everything you’ve wished for,        the one you least expect to meet. Don’t lose faith in the wind now, its blowing for your swift feet. chance is just another word for Fate, and ive got nothing but time. Id give anything to see you, ill be waiting here on my throne, i look forward to seeing the smile you often times fake, it's been a long time But I don't mind you being a couple centuries late.

--my reply to her (Emil)