[demigod-tears]

Clock strikes midnight/ pedal to the floor/ two tall cans to my right/ to the edge of the earth/ drive through the night/ hell bent on capturing the sun/ bottle of whiskey/ two packs of cigarettes/ chain smoking and chugging/ soft glow on the horizon/ here she comes now/ douse myself in gasoline/ lighting my lucky/ 10 steps back/ eyes closed and a full sprint/ a perfect gainer into oblivion.

I don’t simply fall in love Emil (6/4/17)

[demigod-tears]

One angel. One demon. I swallowed them whole without even thinking. At first they were lovers, Now they wage wars inside me. Look at me, my skin encrusted with ash. Smoke billowing from my nostrils. My wings made up of lead feathers. A crown of horns hangs heavy with the weight of twilight royalty. White hot to the touch, it's best you keep your distance. My fingers leave scars, the kind that never fade away. Branding myself into your history, making sure you never forget me. Don't believe me? Look at the chaos I've left behind. Torn between my angelic need for creation And my demonic addiction to destruction. Creating monuments out of the things I love, then burning them to the ground. Placing my heart at the top of each one, adorning it with my soul. Can you see those heaps of ash? They're nothing but devilishly Angelic effigies of the past. Stuck somewhere between midnight and the rising dawn. The devil and angel both want my heart, so I keep giving it away. And giving it away, And giving it away, And giving it away, But I just can't seem to die.

-The Twilight Prince pt.2 Emil (5/18/17)

[demigod-tears]

"I'll cut myself open so she'll find her way home" I'll never forget that picture, her picture. Where her words bleed across the page, forming a time portal in my head. Echoing into eternity like the end of a punk rock ballad. I guess our story never really mattered. I think we both knew that. Our lives intersecting at the bar on the corner between our two universes. The sign flickering LED, a dive into one another. Alone we sat, staring at what we imagined were our reflections. Shot for shot we went, there's nothing like seeing the bottom of the bottle and knowing for sure that vodka does not taste like water. And just like the alcohol, our mouths never stopped moving. We spewed and spewed from our holes. Ain't it funny how so much talking sure sounds like white noise? A mind numbing buzzing. We wrote poems on those small square napkins, but those ran short rather quickly. We soon moved onto the walls, covering them like the graffiti on the mirrors of the bathroom. Covering the knick knacks of hurt, beating our memory out with verses. Fucking when we could, coming at one another with rabid angered lust. Dipping our fangs into one another, the taste of skin drove us mad. Slowly swallowing eachother whole. And time went on, and there was no more room for letters on the walls. Not even the lust between bathroom stalls could save us now. We fought We screamed We bled ourselves into pages Before long the mirror in front of us shattered, all that remained were those cracked panes of existence. Showing us that we were nothing less than equal versions of the other. Broken and scarred Jaded and helpless Hungry and haunted Past loves hung over us like the stench of death. Losing the last pieces of me within her, and she reminded me of the monster I am. But it's morning now and this one room escape is getting hot with summer air. Last call was fucking hours ago. She picked her wings up off the coat rack, Shaking them clean from the dust of us. It's quiet now, except for the pounding of this hangover. My mouth tastes like cigarettes and whiskey. She seemed fine, she'd been here before. Her wings carried onto destined horizon, even if she denied it. I'll always wonder if she remembered how to fly. Her wings sure were magnificent.

-Dive bars and broken angels -Emil (2/27/17)

[demigod-tears]

Soft white glow, shadowed edges from the craters of the last millennia. Buts it no matter to her, she wears them as if they were the jewels of the royals. Ever In motion, her circular dance revealing light in the dark. Shadowing even her own demons, exuberayting nothing but vibrations of love. Worry not if it seems as if her back is to you, she's simply shining her light on another part of the world. She always comes back, I can't remember a time that statement became untrue. The silent loving guardian of our nights. A keeper of the world we humans attempt to change, and seek shelter from In the dark. Worshipping Mother Earth in her purest able form. As we lay here under her glow, let us not forget her eternal struggle. The sun her lover, forever kept from one another. Dancing around each other in the grandest of galactic ballets. Chasing horizons, searching a moment where they might share the heavens together. A love beyond our mortal comprehension. -Lady Moon (11/14/16) Emil

[demigod-tears]

I've been told that boys a mystery. I also heard he's the worst person you've ever met, a real life nightmare who's sole job is to dismantle your world. Yeah, that boy there with the Polynesian ocean blue eyes. Jeweled trophies of the salted oceans contained within him. With pupils as black as the darkness that lay beneath. The boy who's fingers run deep with the fissures of his very DNA. A planetary entity spit back out from the Big Bang. His touch is warm and soothing, felt even amongst the desert heat he calls home. I heard once the heat comes from the seismic plates of the two beings he keeps quarantined away from the world inside himself. With each day a new winner is crowned, and their prize his mind. He bleeds molten copper, believe me I've seen it. The creation of destruction, unrelenting even on the coldest of days. His body infiltrated by miles of veins, full of gold, jewels, and precious metals. Resembling the very earth he walks. Slice him open and there you'll find a treasure worthy of the gods of old. Gaze upon him now, smoking his cigarette, smoke bellowing from his rotten lungs. I admire from a distance, wondering whether these clouds are of the burning tobacco or the magma that boils from those cavernous deeps. Legend has it that if you see him cry you'll never have to work another day in your life. His tears come from deep within his crusts, meticulously molded by the great heat and pressure of the darkness that weighs him down. Like the demon child Of Ra, he is ever burning. Listen closely and you can hear each tear as it collides with the earth, Like a streaking meteor from the unknown above. Splicing his skin as it exits the corners of his blue eyes, leaving a trail of cooling copper down his cheeks. You've never questioned more, how painful crying must be for him.

-the boy with diamond tears (11/4/16) Emil

[demigod-tears]

"People move on orbits that are so distant from each other." I read that line today, it must be from some indie movie, where the girl is troubled and a man arrives to fix her. And just recently I learned that the earth is actually the sum of two planets colliding, leaving the moon as the sole receipt of life's purchase. Laying here now I realize my wallets a bit light and my account unbalanced. I must've been the smaller of the two planetaries because when you left I was nothing but debris, falling out into the dark matter of our once galaxy. And now my heart hangs in frozen limbo, stuck in orbit around your blooming life filled world. Unable to escape, half in the dark and half in the light. Creating nothing but high and low tides.

-The Moon used to go by another name (10/25/16) Emil

[demigod-tears]

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.... to post. Like this, Post that, Omg what should I caption this. The older generations blame technology for ruining our generation. Ever slowly as they come crawling like ants into our world. Instagram models, a new kind of celebrity. 4chan churning out memes beyond our digestive capacity. Tumblr and DeviantArt the home to the Artists of the underground. The internet, a picture book that exceeds our wildest imagination. Communities of likeminded's, scattered among the web like the stars of our night sky. A whole new world each and every time a browser is opened. The fountain of knowledge, now available by the petabyte. So as I type this on my iPhone, I'll raise my glass to us. Here's to the generation that proved a picture is worth far more than your 1,000 words.

<you know they say...> (10/12/16) Emil

[demigod-tears]

I started missing you tonight, then again I do it often. But I'm not sure if I'm more angry that I don't exist to you anymore, or that the only way you face me is with fangs bared. But this is all my fault anyway. I miss that black leather couch, and it's bountiful mysteries that lie underneath. I bet there's still the top to a Gatorade bottle i left there. And the plant by your tv that never seemed to stand upright for more than a day. Although knowing you, you probably deep cleaned your place a couple months ago and there's not one bit of me left there. But I'll bet you anything there's a pile Of dishes in the sink, even if it's mostly your cousins. I miss that weird brown fucking carpet, speckled by the winter fresh altoid looking cat litter. I swear you're the only person I've ever known to use it. Then there's the buttered popcorn jelly bean tiling in your bathrooms. Even if you never saw it like I did, I'll always remember it. And here I am describing the layout to your apartment when truly I wanted to write about you. The girl in the bed with the white quilted comforter Who's cat probably peed on it for the 1000th time With the jelly fish hanging from the ceiling in the corner And the neighbor who could never weed whack his dirt just right who'll push snooze 3 times in the morning before drinking her coffee through a straw The girl who saw me for the devil I am, and loved me anyway. Before I chewed her up and spit her out. She didn't deserve that.

-Popcorn ceiling feeling (9/30/16) Emil

[demigod-tears]

I remember when I was in 7th grade I ate a crepe for the first time. I had no idea what it was but I ate it anyway. Something like edible paper. We've been eating food all our lives and forgetting each meal the second we're finished. Thousands of pounds of food, crushed between our molars. The finite details lost to our stomachs as we digest yet another day. Yet here I am relating food to memory, trying to convince you that these two are some how correlated. And the only question left to ask is, what's harder to swallow? The dinner your wife ever made for you or the fact that you slept with her sister 7 months ago. Whatever you answer may be, I know one things for certain. Everyone hates Brussels sprouts.

-Fuck Brussel Sprouts (9/28/16) Emil

[demigod-tears]

The brain is what makes us supreme beings. Least that's what they've told us my whole life. Like some sort of super computer, but I'm starting to think it's some kinda of tragic curse. Now I'll be a fish in the ocean to say that I've been around some fucked up shit in this life. And now it's all internal and my hard drive is far from being filled. Not to mention the thousands of external hard drives I've littered around my life, storing memories in people, places, and things. So where do I go with all these files? Petabytes of information and feeling stored away. 7 billion of us and counting, but I could be wrong. China's birth line never ends and the baby boomers just won't die. But that's neither here nor there. The fact is that we're all over the place, storing all our fucked up shit on the externals we found a necessity. Mine just happen to be in letters, syllables and consonants.

-CRTL-ALT-DLTE (9/28/16) Emil

[demigod-tears]

The arts give humans a chance to feel the Fucked up things that this world forces us to think aren't real. And without them, we would simply implode upon ourselves.

Emil

[demigod-tears]

Blonde hair with the yellow wristband, Wine with her miso soup. Speechless with all the beauty I saw in 12 hours. I always tell her she's bad news for me, but I'm just straying from the fact that with each new door that opens she's seeping ever so slowly into me. The way her legs wrap around me, and damn they go for miles. The highway for my chariot of fire, dead set on barreling into the explosions of the setting arizona sun. Curled up next to me, her body twitches with the demons she comforts so dearly in her sleep. Head nestled next to mine, and all I'm hoping for is another one of her hairs intertwined in my beard. Nearly taller than me, a radiant body encompassing the supernova soul that fate led me to. Her and I, the truest meaning of chance I've seen in this lifetime. The Winona to my Depp, this morning sharing that moment. Cooking breakfast in my shirt, the pink lace atop her underwear, stretching to plug in the microwave. All the while I'm melting into the stool, leaving pieces of myself all over that kitchen. They say that Sunday's are the day for worship but I haven't been to church in ages. Yet tonight you'll find me at the edge of my bed begging for another Saturday morning with her.

-PrettyYoungThing (9/17/16) Emil

[demigod-tears]

She made you question your sanity, a mirage of the world you were so sure of. Something of legend, as if seeing the northern lights for the first time. Wrapped in bronze skin, cascading hair dancing like the magnetic whips in that crisp cold night. I heard a tale once, that she was one half of a whole. Her being the gracious goddess of the day, and her sister the conqueror of the black night. Split by the gods for the protection of Olympus, flesh bound mortality their only flaw. And yet it's as if she was the very sculpture that Pygmalion had fallen into love with after creating her overs the eons. His hands crippled and useless after molding such treacherous beauty into one being. Banished to this planet by those who feared her, she walked with the grace of a true immortal. A bitter sweet blessing it is to be touched by her. They say earthlings had driven themselves mad trying to find such raw uninhibited elegance. I would know, these sanitarium walls of my mind are covered thick with my futile attempts to write anything as god like as her.

-a god like addiction (9/27/16) Emil

[demigod-tears]

Such a beautiful goddess, bound to the prisons of bone and flesh. Simplicity in all manners of life except for love. Cursed to walk this floating space rock, expelling love from the infinite ley lines of her heart. Her mattress lays upon the ground, a symbol of her need to be close to the earth. Blonde hair flowing like the morning warmth of another sun birth on the horizon. Skin glowing like your favorite full moon in the dark night sky, shining even the brightest city lights. I've always thought this human existence was a nightmare for her. What trauma her soul endures, in a state of constant confusion between who she is and who she was. Not knowing how to love herself properly, feeding it by the ladleful to everything she touches. Adoring the creatures nature has presented us, us being terrible humanoid aliens who've inhabited a pure world. She yearns to fight the destruction of a sight unseen in eons. And all those think love will save the world, worshipping her like a god. But this goddess too has her weight to bear, an ancient spell cast on her to expel her love around like an addictive magic. Compared to the curse of King Midas, forever followed by his world of gold, someone would say her life just didn't compare. What they can't see is how too much love is a killer. Too much water, too much sun, too much good and the world will still need darkness. Forever casting her love onto everything she touches, people and things tainted by a soul too pure. She wishes forever a world of love, only to be granted by a path of ash and ruin that follows her everywhere she may travel.

The Return of Queen Midas (9/9/16) Emil

[demigod-tears]

My... what a beautiful dress you have on tonight. Then again, there was no chance you'd dress down for tonight, it's quite the occasion. We're In the dining room, sitting at the table your grandmother insisted we take when we got married. It hasn't been sat at in years, more of an expensive laundry table as of late. The silver candle sticks are out, and perched on top of them are stacks of wax melting on top of themselves. My mothers China gracing each chair at the end of the table. A most intimate setting for this extravaganza. As for dinner, we're starting off with a mild helping of old memories, to be drowned in your favorite wine. A slight buzz before the main course will do us both good. As I clear your plate and refill your glass, we exchange glances. I know well enough that you're starving. I return from the kitchen, announcing "tonight we will be dining on the most tender of meats." Lifting the lid off of my silver platter, taking your plate out and placing it before you. Your pupils enlarge, a slight lick of your lips. Moving your napkin to your lap and grabbing your knife and fork, preparing to devour. I watch you as you cut the first slice. A mix of red juices flows as you slice through. You raise it towards your mouth, pausing abruptly and locking eyes with me. "I've been waiting for this moment for so long. The first bite of a heart is always the most delicious."

-I left dessert in the freezer (6/23/16) Emil

[untorn]

Your eyes have turned as dark as a December night And your words have been as colorful as the setting sun As a bridge burning from a single match And I see the way you’ve been placing bricks Between where I stand and your heart One by one, until I’m invisible to you Love, I know you like the back of my hand I see the storm cloud floating above your head Filled with everything you cannot say aloud But I will be there when the downpour comes And don’t think that I don’t notice The malice in your voice when you speak But I am not frightened by your inflection I am frightened by what is to come When you decide you no longer need me Will you burn the very bridge that we walked on? I know that one day you’ll be strong enough without me And every time you back away, trembling as if I am the enemy I wonder if it is the last time I will ever be able to look into your eyes And compare the color to the leaves on the trees I want so badly to make things right But I can’t keep us together if you keep cutting the ribbon that binds us

(via reg-rdless)

"And I see the way you’ve been placing bricks
Between where I stand and your heart
One by one, until I’m invisible to you"

OHHH JUST FUCK ME UP

[demigod-tears]

I'd say I met you at a very peculiar time in your life, but that would be a bold faced lie. The reality being our two destinies crossed paths due to inevitable fate. Your soul, having its own midlife crisis, attempting to stitch its own wounds back together. Damaged but not broken, intricately repairing the gaping holes you have been giving a blind eye to for a the last few years. As you lay with me I can feel the healing, and with each soft kiss on my skin I could sense the creeping passion of life inside you. How could I lie and say that was enough, it wasn't, I wanted to swallow you whole. Your skin covered in ink and probably 100 pounds soaking wet. Oh what a meal you would be, my greedy ass waiting to devour you. Yet time passed and night upon night we spent wrapped up hiding from the world. Realizing my fangs were dulled to the root, and I couldn't bring myself to tear into you. Now... Oh god now, I wanted to break open my chest and let you crawl in. To sew you into me and let you rest. You had so much left of your soul to discover, an unyielding queen bound by your earthly existence. When the time was right you'd burst from within me, healed and scarred, ready to devour me and the world in front of you.

-Sasha grey (8/22/16) Emil