❣ dabs away
prompt : random kisses, accepting !#7 : a hug + kiss combo !
❛ sorry, dave ! i would’ve just jumped to the airport myself, but i think i’d have ended up very wet & very tired, ❜ toshinori musters up a feeble smile, bangs whipping wildly around his face. he sits back in one of the few seats that could comfortably hold him, a seat dave had specifically made sure fit his specs, & says no more. pillows his chin onto his colossal arms, gaze fixed on the arid landscape whizzing by the car. cagey, silent. uncharacteristically so.
it was wrong. this was all wrong. he was supposed to be lounging, or sprawling, even perilously standing in his seat to face down the rush of the wind, & holding onto the front windshield of the car like he was a ship’s captain… but now there’s a stark difference in his usual behavior; his hands are stowed in his lap & his golden head is down & he — doesn’t want to leave.
it’s not the idea of leaving america, as much as he adores the country; time didn’t make a home, necessarily, but the young hero’s relationship with the states was full of love & learning & difficulties & hero work, & it wasn’t that easy to leave behind. there was no denying that america loved him, too, but that’s not it. it’s not even the idea of having to be cooped up in a tin can for 10+ hours on the way back home.
it’s the idea of leaving at all. the idea, specifically, of leaving dave.
toshinori’s raw thoughts jangle around, contrasting terribly with the car’s silky-smooth handling. he couldn’t bring himself to ask david to come with him before, & he can’t now, either. the market was bursting with tech opportunities in japan, but he had far better opportunities in the states. the thing that made it ten times more painful was the timing of it all: namely, the terrifying realization, simultaneous yet isolated, that the two of them liked each other. a lot. a lot, & too much to hide it from each other or themselves, & by then the ticket was already bought…
but still, even now toshinori wants do something deeply stupid. he wants to reach across the center console & hold dave’s hand. he wants to tell him, in the cruelest moment possible, that he wants to kiss him & be with him… all in the maybe twenty minutes they had left to themselves until they arrived at the airport.
why did people only realize something right when they were about to lose it ?
he doesn’t make a move until he’s inside, facing the plane out of the window. while the crew boards, toshinori bites the bullet & hugs dave goodbye, telling himself he isn’t breathing in his familiar smell, or memorizing the feel of his white coat under his fingers. they stand together for far too long, toshinori’s arms coming to wrap around dave’s middle, breathing together. he doesn’t want to let go, but the third announcement to board is as much an order to fall apart as anything. he finds himself parting only halfway, though, grip on his companion’s waist loose but still there. tethered, as they had been for the past couple of years that seemed more like an entire lifetime.
instead of walking away like he should, that too big heart of his takes over; he deviates from his clumsy stereotypical farewells in english like he’d planned, mouth moving before his brain can catch up, ❛ say you’ll come to see me, ❜ he pleads instead, blisteringly earnest & heart pounding so hard it’s fit to burst, but his eyes never waver. they search dave’s face in answer, & when he finds a kind of shock that makes his chest ache, toshinori smoothes his thumb over the scientist’s chin & —
simply leans in & kisses him, light & crisp. it’s soft, inexperienced & incredibly unsure, & when they part it takes everything in him not to simply chase his mouth again. his grip on the smaller man’s waist tightens again, & he brings a shaky hand to tuck a tress of chestnut behind his ear. revels in the texture, the feeling of their breath mingling. tries not to think about how far off the next time that they’ll do this is… if there even is a next time.
there has to be. he has to make sure of it.
❛ please tell me i’ll see you again. i can’t leave, ❜ toshinori murmurs, while looking down at him with the softest smile. leans in again, but this time to press their foreheads together, blues locked on blues, ❛ without knowing i’ll see you again. is that okay ? ❜
is this okay ?
&&. @cclipeum !!
