I am taking your hands (with consent) and holding them as I tell you& this:
It's okay if your system experiences don't match other people's. I can understand how isolating and sometimes invalidating it feels to not feel like you fit in in system spaces. It can make denial so much worse. It can make you feel like you have to present yourselves in a way that's more "acceptable" at the sake of authenticity. You& don't have to do this, in fact, please don't.
The wide variety of ways external and internal factors influence how a system presents means that there isn't a set default. There isn't a system Everyman (an Everymans? Is that funny?). There isn't a prescribed way that we have to look or perform. You are not "less of a system" than someone else you may come across in these spaces.
Forcing yourselves to conform to the standards set by sysblr or systok or systagram or whatever will do more damage than not. Being a system/in a system is already so hard without feeling like you need to fit unnecessary expectations.
🪻