You're the only social media figure/tumblr user/etc that I know of being polyamorous or whatever, and I just want to ask -- how do you handle a dating a person who wants to be monogamous when you don't?
I’ve gotten that message a lot lately so I’m posting your ask but if that makes you uncomfortable please tell me and I will delete it right away.
To be fair I’ve been pretty lucky and never had this problem, either because I unconsciously don’t fall for people with whom I know it wouldn’t work out with, or because I always make sure to casually talk about being non-monogamous to anyone I start being interested to. Like a conversation with a friend, not a direct “hey I like you but also here is the thing”. But that might just me being awkward with talking about feelings in general, and also maybe lucky.
So I don’t think you and everyone else messaging me would like my answer, which would be not to fall for very strictly monogamous people. But just make sure to bring the subject way before anything happens so they know what they are getting into beforehand if you or them make a move. Just to see their stance on this, too. You never know. People can also change their minds. Additionally, I’m sometimes willing to try being monogamous for someone I really like (hence why I never really use the ‘poly’ label). It can work (rarely, but again it might have to do with who I personally am as a person) but the minute you think “nope that’s definitely not working” be sure to be honest about it. Right away. But again the people I’ve tried that with and I ended up going back to a casual “more than friends” relationship without real labels later on… so I really might just be lucky.
Basically communication is key even if it’s uncomfortable ; there’s ways to make it casual and relaxed conversations. I’m sure if you know the person you like/your partner enough you can figure out a way to ease into any difficult conversations.
Sorry for not having a straight up answer, that’s the best I can advise!
