#ch:jade

[natusvincere]

@highoctanegem

[pm] I wish :/ [del: there's nothing to reference for this] [del: tongues are ruined] [del: at least for the next ten minutes] [del: then we're so back] I'm gonna need a beat before I can start adding material to my routine. And your concern is sweet, but I'm totally fine. [del: except for the part where a girl died and we all failed he]

YAY <3 I'm glad you did. Getting presents from rich people is the best. [user smiles for the first time since she left A Latte to Love] Okay, maybe we can convince Rosie to switch it up for Home Alone or something. Or how about Elf? [user knows she's trying to postpone the question]

Okay. A girl died. [del: she was my] [del: we were fri] [del: sorta] [del: I kinda blew it]. Came back as a vampire. An upior, to be precise. With the tongue. Ever heard of those? Anyway, she doesn't want to kill people. So she came to me and... I dunno. I dunno wh me. I should've killed her. [del: But I don't want t] [...] We could help. Not make this so traumatic for her. [del: I know you had a rough] [user is idle for a while] I need some blood, is the favor. Like... from the storage you have. But I would handle it. You never have to meet her if you don't wanna. I wouldn't wanna risk Rosie's wellbeing. And that would be a huge IOU. I'll hand out all the flyers you want me to.

[pm] It’s not sweet. It’s pragmatic. Don’t add meaning to my concern, Jade.

Please. Were you raised in a barn? Some people might find that an incredibly rude thing to say. You’re not supposed to reference my wealth or how happy you are to benefit from it. I don’t know why, I don’t make up the rules. However, please be aware that you will be greatly benefitting from my wealth. I would rather she not be exposed to the graphic but humorous violence depicted in Home Alone just yet. I will settle for Elf, but you might need to wear her down. Do you like peppermint in your hot chocolate?

I’ve heard of them. They’re… I’ve heard of them. [user pauses for a moment to collect herself] You shouldn’t have killed her, but I’m not going to lie and say that this sort of thing is no big deal, Jade. Have you dealt with upiors before? She may not want to kill anyone, but… [user hesitates again, thinks back to when she was first sired]

Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. This girl is not going to know my name, and she’s certainly not going to know where I live. You are not going to meet with her alone until she has a reliable food source. You’re definitely not dealing with this alone. I’ve been stocking up extra because of all the surges, I have more than enough to spare, but she’s going to need to learn to control herself. We will go together to give her a first batch. I don’t know much about her kind, but I’m worried that if we give her a large supply at once, she’ll waste it all in one go. When did this all happen?

Is she in a safe place? Away from humans?

[wditdsmutblog]

@cruelangcls

She had officially become an empty nester about 5 years ago. The woman having adopted a set of siblings under the age of 10 when she was still in her early twenties. When her children left for college she was immediately hit with empty nester syndrome. Having never remembered a moment where they had not been present in her life. This was probably why she became attached to Jade the nanny.

It was also why she had been reluctant to let them go. It didn't take too much just a reminder that for the last 10 years they had simply been a nanny which really didn't translate very well into other jobs. Also at the top of the list was the past that they were still actively running away from. Something that Sol had done some digging into to find out about when she had first hired them for the job.

"Let's be honest with each other no one is going to pay you as well as I do. And if you weren't here with me you'll be working a dead end job that you hated. You could be a sugar baby right now giving it up to some asthmatic old man instead of flying across the world to go on vacation." Sol said as she pointed out the window of her private jet as they left the airport for yet another trip. She couldn't make herself stay for long in the too large house. "I know the kids are gone but I'd still like you to stay around. If you feel like you're freeloading you can help me in other ways."

[natusvincere]

@highoctanegem

[pm] Have you put up a sign? I think you should. But also, you could probably do better than him :/ And wowowow, being a violin concert attendee means NOTHING these days? I WAS the loudest cheers. She found it hilarious. (I take full credit if she comes out funny) [user knows she's being very obvious, but doesn't know how not to be about this] I'm perfectly healthy, I'm sure neighbors all around can probably attest to my good stamina and endurance. I was trying to be minimalist. [del: but I ] [del: i guess my heart does hurt so is that] Trimming the bushes of my language so to speak.

[pm] Who do you think I am? Of COURSE I put up a sign. I also spoke with him, and sent him 4 very strongly worded letters. If that man keep such a beautiful lawn, he'd be out of a job in a second! You were obnoxious she loved it. You can't just demand to see my child just because you went to her concert. You need to ask. Politely.

No, something's definitely wrong. You just mentioned trimming the bushes and didn't even make a joke about it. Not really anyway. You couldn't be minimalist, not even if you tried.

Listen, I'm not going to sit here and demand you tell me whats wrong, because that would be asinine, obviously. But, well, if you decide it would be worth your while... I'm available.

[natusvincere]

@highoctanegem

OH, THAT'S NOT...[user reads this message, knows she must step in] Nobody can't take the MILF away from you, don't let them babe!

I really appreciate your support, kind stranger! Do you know of any groups in town? Otherwise, your words of encouragement are really no use to me.

[natusvincere]

[user stares at Vic's account, knowing she's gonna hate messaging her about this, but also she's the oldest undead she knows, maybe she'll have actual knowledge to impart] I know you shared some of your lore that time when But I need Can you share more about What was it like when you Did the wheel even exist back the I've been My friend di My best You know? And I dunno how to help I'm never of any help I just saw a banana and burst into But Was it painful for you Were you scared I shouldn't have stalked you that time While you were with I'm s I'm sorr Also why did you sleep with my sist I will keep our grass short I promise That must be so stressful for y And I've been kind of a jerk [user actually doesn't know how to ask about this] [pm] I would like to see the baby.

[pm]

Yes, and I would like my landscaper to stop spitting on my front walkway, but we can't always get what we want, can we?

[...]

I can't believe I'm asking this, but what's the matter with you? Cats have never had your tongue, and yet here you are- uttering a sentence with only as many words as there is days of a week instead of days of a year. Are you ill?

[natusvincere]

[pm] [user hovers over Vic's name for a little while, unsure whether or not to send the message] Sooooooooo So like, do I call you Vic or I swam way better than y Is the baby alri

I went back. Everything's gone. Poof! Not a trace of them, that leak must've been pretty serious.

[pm] You went back? By yourself?

Well, that's good. Good riddance. I'm sure our grit and perseverance was part of what scared them off, too.

Are you okay? Any unexpected injuries? You looked pretty tired as we were swimming.

That was a joke. A jab. You enjoy those, I thought.

[natusvincere]

[pm] [user stares at her screen for ten minutes. She thought this was gonna be a lot easier than it actually is. She considers whether she should tell Jenny that Vic didn't agree to the plan since she has no way of knowing the truth, then remembers what that could mean for the people who might stumble upon a hungry Jenny. User paces around grumbling about this for five more minutes till she pulls the plug]

Habibti. How ar I need a favor. [user counts on Vic noticing how straight to the point she's being] Like a real one, not for you to fine the lady across the street cause I saw her wearing cargo pa Also, I have Winnie's and Rosie's and your gifts, I'm coming over later tonight. You better have hot choccy with marshmallows.

But first. This.

[pm] No quips? No innuendos or ridiculous references that only you would understand? What’s wrong? Are you in danger?

You did not need to get us anything. But we have yours as well. Come on over, we’re on our 4th rewatch of the polar express. I could do the hot chocolate dance, but don’t ask me to.

Tell me.

[natusvincere]

BOO!! Sorry did I scare you?! WASSUP GURL😉😉😊 ITS COCKTOBER 😈🌚🍂🍃🍁 AND IF YOU👈🏽 ARE GETTING THIS👇🏽😘 IT MEANS UR A HALLOWEEN 👻🎃 HOE😏😩👅💦 every year in Cocktober the jack o slut🎃 comes to life🙀😻🙌🏽👏👏🙌🏽 coming to harvest 🍁🍂🍃 his hoes for THOT-O-WEEN😏😏💥💥🎈🎂🎉 send this to 10 other Halloween Hoes or else you a TRICK🎃👻👻 🎃 IF YOU GET 4 BACK UR A THOT-O-WEEN TREAT😋 IF YOU GET 6 BACK UR A SLUTTY WITCH BITCH👄😍✨🔮 BUT IF YOU GET 10 BACK UR THE SPOOKIEST SLUT ON THE BLOCK😜💦⚰🎉🎉💯🎃 If you don’t send this to 1️⃣0️⃣other thots💁😩👄 you will get NO DICK 👋 this COCKTOBER🎃😉😜 Look away, don't report me, I'm trying to claim my title. (But also, send it back)

You are an abomination. I'm not sending this back to you.

You don't need validation from a chain message to assure you that you're a slut. Whatever happened to self-love?