#ch. lucrezia

[tothedevilsshow]

continued from ( xxx ) @caracarnn

humor. it filters through his tone. and it makes the atmosphere ease somewhat. she could see the haunting in his eyes in spite of that. she could sense it in the heaviness in the air. she can almost taste it on the air. she can see how strained her is under the weight of all he's expected to be. a part of her thinks he's too good, isn't he? too good to deliver to the shadow. perhaps there was a savior in there, a man that the world could rely on. he seemed to have all the bearings. a noble heart, a powerful determination, a strength and sturdiness that he seemed to second guess. he commanded a room even if he didn't know it entirely. he had all the makings of a king and yet none of the certainty that should come with it. men born into power had it. but rand al'thor had not been born into power. he had been thrust into it. if he were so self assured would she feel this ache in her heart. an ache for him. what a foolish thought. she had no time for foolishness anymore.

her expression lightens, a slight smile tugging at her lips. she lifts her brow as she regards him. "who's to say that i would want to return?" soft, amused even. her hand tightens on his. she shifts a little more towards him then. her skirts brushing over his boots. she suddenly wants to be closer to him. she tells herself it's a tool, a tool to use to fulfill her mission. to do what has to be done. "you would find a place for me, would you not? in your new world? "what would that world look like? if rand was really given the power to remake it after he saved it? if he was actually going to be allowed to save it. she knew that thinking like this was dangerous. she knew that his failure was the plan. and yet she let her foolish mind wander to what ifs.

[tothedevilsshowclosed]

“i just find this all very boring now.” @inprometheanfire​

[tothedevilsshowclosed]

“honestly i’m better than this.”

@inprometheanfire​

[tothedevilsshowclosed]

“i have decided that this isn’t going to work.”

@ofimaginarybeings​

[tothedevilsshowclosed]

she doesn’t want to care. a part of her wants to tell him to just forget all of it. that they could be this way forever. a part of her wants to tell him to forget it for other reasons. she wants him to just go away and let her focus on school, on making the image that she wanted to present when she was older. high school shaped all that, didn’t it? but she’s not saying either of that. she’s pretending like she doesn’t understand any of it. she’s young enough, she thinks, to still pull off empty headed blonde. but he knows her too well. she just doesn’t want to talk about it. she wants it to go away, be gone. she wants him. the thought doesn’t startle her even though it should. 

she remembers seeing him for the first time. he was tall, ridiculously good looking, all the girls thought so. she remembers sitting outside, laughing with the other girls about how hot he was. for the other girls though he was impossible to have. but she was lucrezia borgia and nothing was impossible for her. after the first time she had thought she’d tell all her friends. but she never talked about it. she found this funny stirring in her whenever she looked at him. she really liked him, really really liked him which was far too much, wasn’t it? 

she tries to take everything in stride. she tries, she really does. but there are nights when she misses him so much. she likes to hear his voice on the other end of the phone, she likes the way he says her name. she’s found it easy to pretend like they’re every other couple out there. they have a chance now though. right there before them. someone had spotted them. teacher with his underage student. quite the scandal. but the little girl in her thought that maybe things could work out. that as long as they were in love they could make it work. sometimes he brought that part of her out. 

they always rent this room. a little one just outside of town. it almost feels like home to her. she’s so familiar with it. the way she’s familiar with everything about him. she pours them each a drink, a glance over her shoulder at him. he’s stressed out about being seen, she knows that. she wants to ease out all those knots. she wants someone to tell her that she’s worth that risk. she’s lucrezia borgia, she should be worth everything. she shouldn’t settle for anything less. but if he’s not willing? what if she’s not? “i don’t see what the problem is really. don’t you want everyone to know ---?” she cuts herself off abruptly. they’ve never told each other that they love each other. she can’t say it now. he’ll think she’s ridiculous. he’s older, her teacher, he’s here for the sex. the thought stings but she swallows it down. “don’t you?”

@ofimaginarybeings

[tothedevilsshowclosed]

 “relationship status hasn’t been updated.”

@ofimaginarybeings

[tothedevilsshowclosed]

it’s so cold out here. she misses the warmth of the south, the way the summer air feels on her skin. and yet here she is, left in the cold. it feels endless. they say winter is coming. but here it feels like winter lives here, in the walls. it doesn’t really make much sense, does it? she feels a little hollow, a little on the verge of empty. and everything inside of her feels like she’s going to break. yet before she left her father had charged her, telling her to be strong. had eddard stark’s death been the plan the whole time? doing so did allow her husband to become lord of winterfell. and she’s heard whispers of war through air. oh, men and their wars. how terrible and cruel they all are.

the unsettling feeling has seeped everywhere. and everything is heavy around her. the northerners hadn’t accepted her from the start. but now she feels far more like a stranger among them. lost and out of place. yet she’s determined to make the most of of it. to make something solid here. so she’s been thinking. she was always thinking. often times her septa told her that she thought too much. and yet how could she help it? a woman was given three things in this world, beauty, wealth, and intellect. she should be thankful that she had been graced with all three. a friend of hers once told that they could be wielded the same way as a sword. 

 so she dresses. yet she keeps herself simple. perfume behind her ears, on her wrists. she’s made herself scarce since the raven had come with the news. she had made sure not to be in anyone’s way. including robb’s. but now she’s prepared herself to approach him. as if she’s readying herself for an attack. she doesn’t mean it to be something cruel. he’s alone now. there’s something heavy all around him. she knows he must be in such a terrible state. but she must push aside any affection or empathy. tonight she intends to act the part of caring wife and also a strategist. 

 gently touching his shoulder so that he’d turn towards her she says his name gently. her eyes search his for a moment. she had been glad when she had met him. her father had made the match and although she hadn’t been so eager to leave home she had taken a liking to robb. it was hard not to. he was as virtuous and kind as he was handsome. she found herself not simply enjoying him but developing such a strong affection for him as well. she hadn’t hated the match at all. she had instead been eager to get to know him, to get closer to him. and yet they had only been allowed a short period of married bliss. now tarnished by the news from the capitol. she wonders if he loves her still. 

 she caresses his cheek. holding his gaze then. “my love...” she starts softly, treading delicately. “...there’s so much talk of you leaving. and now i know that you must. of course, you must. i’d never ask you to stay. but i can’t bear to be left behind when you do. take me with you.”

@ofimaginarybeings

[tothedevilsshowclosed]

                                  lucrezia borgia  -  25  -  concilium & potion craft

although new to the academy lucrezia has known her whole life that she was a witch. she considers herself something of royalty, coming from a line that produced several power witches. one of her ancestors she claims was supreme. she opted not to go to the academy growing up. preferring to sharpen her craft on her own. she used her powers to her advantage all her life. getting what she wanted or eliminating what she didn’t want or who. she’s used her powers to further her family’s ambitions as well. the borgias now being one of the most powerful families in new york.  she’s vicious when she needs to be. but she’s never one for a power trip. she decided to come to the academy when it became public. she had hated the idea of hiding, of running. but now that the new supreme has opened up the doors to the school not just to witches but for the eyes of the world she feels like it’s a place she can belong. she’s come there for a new start, wanting away from the life she had crafted on her own, with her family. she wants to shed guilt and change. but old habits are hard to quit. 

@ofimaginarybeings  -  she admires cordelia. thinking that all witches should be like the new supreme. she considers cordelia someone she trusts and a good friend.