words: 3.5k
cw: general tpw trilogy warnings (mention of addictions and drugs, ch. 21, war)
!!! : english is not my first language so yeah, feel free to give advice and sorry for my mistakes <3 also it's my first time using this style, let me know if you enjoy it!
a.n.: I was planning of writing also about Daji and Jiang, but I realised I have too little context to write something reliable, so I'll just wait for the prequel or, if I feel like it, I might work on something a bit ooc. However is something I'll do in my free time if I feel inspired, so for now this is it, I loved writing this, hope you like this too
Altan Trengsin - passionate yet intimate
Altan’s love is pure fire, it runs deep into his core. He never knew what love was, never was he loved once but it hit him all of a sudden. You haven’t judged him for being a Speerly, nor saw him as a mere weapon, when you looked at him you just saw Altan, a boy who was forced to grow up faster than usual, you noticed how his eye colour shifted from red to brown, how his gaze get lost, how his jaw tightened when Tobi was making comments about his country, you noticed him for what he was. And so he slowly found himself falling for you. First it was after fights, he slowly approached you when it was your turn in the infirmary to check his wounds (except he never showed up before); then came Jun lessons, he always avoided having you as a sparring partner. At the same time you passed more and more free time together, after lessons, in the library, in Jiang’s garden,. Lastly it hit him, on a random day he realised the Phoenix was quiet, he was with you and the rage was gone, he suddenly allowed himself to smile. From then on he was always with you yet distant, he didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable from being the partner of “the last Speerly”, he couldn’t let you get through all of that; in public there were only stolen glances, light brushes of your hands and quiet time, whispers spread across Sinegard academy but nothing was confirmed, so it soon died. But in private, he was a starved man, he needed you, you became his centre, the only thing keeping him grounded, he loved you so much and yet didn’t understand, he hugged you, feeling your heartbeat and your warmth, you who never judged him, who always listened to him, you who started to feel like home when home was a word he thought he would never acknowledge again.
He wants you with him, he made that clear to everyone, when he was told to leave for the Cike he asked you to come with him, he needed you. Khurdalain is a war place, and Altan sometimes feels really sorry for dragging you here, when you’re surrounded by blood and misery, constantly in danger, yet he would never change his mind, mainly in this time. Warlords and generals were completely blind, not trusting the Cike and leading into dumb strategies. Cowards. They let him take all the guilt and hard decisions, he knows he should keep his calm, but it is getting harder and harder each day, the Phoenix screaming in his mind loudly. He feels his head hurting, pulsing with rage, chest tight and short breath. “Call her.” He breathes out, jaw tense. Qara stops her report, eyes wide when she senses the temperature of the room increasing, leaving with a small nod of acknowledgement, while he was turning on the pipe, already filled with opium. His mind is so lost that he nearly misses you entering the door, your hand slipping on his, pushing away the pipe from his mouth, taking it gently and putting it on the floor. “Altan,” you murmur, voice soft as you caress his cheek, forcing him to look at you “it’s fine, you’re fine”. His gaze burns into your skin, and all of a sudden he hugs you, head in the crook of your neck, sobbing like a child, while your hand roams on his back. And in the silence of that room, where the smell of opium lingers, it’s just the two of you, and the reality of that came crashing down; you were everything to him and he, he was Altan, just your Altan.
Chen Kitay - quiet yet deep
Kitay’s love is steady, it runs deep and it doesn’t need many words. He knew what love was in theory, yet he never really believed it was a thing in real life. It began like a simple friendship, classmates who helped each other at Sinegard, he was a nice shoulder to cry on when exams got difficult, ready to help you, and you, you became a constant in his life, something he hadn’t seen coming in his equation but couldn’t get rid of, and it was strange but he found himself unable to not like it. To not like you. You always supported his ideas, you listened to him rambling about some stuff he read and, what he loved most, you answered; you weren’t just listening to him bored, you were in the conversation, you asked, you add anecdotes and your point of view, and every time Kitay got lost in your eyes, shining as much as his own, your soft lips and red cheeks— he was gone. He really tried not to make it clear, not to ruin your friendship, but he couldn’t, not when you were constantly risking your life in the war, he couldn’t bear the thought of you leaving him without telling you at least once what he used to think was just a “book thing”. He loved you, he was sure of that and you were sure too. The two of you didn’t need words, you had each other, it was a love that ran deep, in the unspoken words, in the heavy glances, in the time spent together. You were his safe space, and he was yours, before, during and after the war.
He knows where to find you, after arriving at Arlong you often hid in a studio Vaisra got for the two of you, his young strategists. He knocks lightly before sliding in - not that you expected anyone else, just to respect your privacy -, a cup filled with some hot beverage in his hand. “Thought you might need a break” He sets the cup on the busy desk, away from the paper, careful not to spill anything on your work. You sigh grateful, stretching on the chair and finally raising your head to look at him while getting to take a sip. “Thank you” You murmur, lips on the cup, relieved by some hot drink “How was the meet?” His gaze meets yours and you can see the same tired look. “A mess, as always” He shakes his head defeated “They just don’t wanna listen” You nod in acknowledgement, pulling the chair by your side, his chair, inviting him to sit next to you. He just smiles and takes the place next to you, his head drops on your shoulder, exhausted. You just rest your head on top of his, your hand finding his and squeezing it gently, a simple reminder— you’re not alone. You close your eyes, that should be enough for you now, you are alive and together, no matter what. “We’re getting out of this mess together, I swear.”
Yin Nezha - obsessive yet soft
Nezha’s love is dangerous, it’s something he's afraid of, too powerful and beautiful to be deserved by someone like himself. He never experienced true love, he received cold words from his father, his mother and siblings were no better. Nezha grew up knowing he was one of the heirs of the Yin family and, most of all, he knew the role he had in Arlong, he knew he was propriety of a God. So he hated you when you weren’t scared of him, you had to be, after all he was just a monster. His skills in combat were mesmerizing, he was beautiful, he was powerful and rich, yet you weren’t afraid of pointing out whenever he was wrong, nor of replying when he was badmouthing Rin or Altan, defending them even if nobody asked you to. You started to become an obsession to him, why didn’t you run away, why weren’t you showing reverence to him like most of your classmates, what was wrong with you? On the other side you couldn’t stand him, such a stuck-up and arrogant boy, so you were genuinely shocked when you found him near the lake you use for swimming lessons, crying. You just wanted to run away and leave him be, it wasn’t your concern after all, however… You stayed and he yelled at you, yet he never really asked to go away and something shifted. His eyes were on you more often than not, he started noticing small things you were used to do, and he remembered them, things you mentioned suddenly were yours, and you on the other side found yourself listening to him, seeking him out. Nezha was soft with you like he was with no one, he cared yet he was scared to lose you and he would have been damned if he let someone hurt you, he was like a dragon treasuring his most precious jewel.
“Do you ever realise that you’re dating a monster?” His gaze is fixed on the running water of a small river under Arlong. You just sigh, so this is the reason he’s up in the middle of the night. “You should have woken me up.” You tell him softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. This conversation feels like a deja-vu; it got worse, from when you arrived in his city it got more and more common for you to wake up alone, bed beside you empty, while he had sneaked out after a nightmare. He still doesn’t turn your way, so you crouch next to him trying to get him out of his own mind “You’re not a monster, Nezha” You feel him tense up “And I love you, no matter what” His head snap to you, eyes wide, terrified “You’re not lying, are you?” His voice trembles, and in his eyes you can see a child, scared from what happened to him, scared of his own power, of what he is. You just smile. “I never lie to you, I love you” You repeat, lips soft on his forehead, and he just hugs you, tight. It almost hurts, but you let it be, he would never hurt you, you’re everything he treasures, you’re the only one -not even himself- not to hate him for what he is, he swore to himself you’ll be the only one to see his weak side and he would never allow himself to let you go.
Fang Runin - fiercely yet free
Rin’s love is hard to get, but once she fell, she fell harder than you could ever imagine. She was not used to love and mostly she saw it as a weak point, especially after being betrayed multiple times. Tikany never felt like home, nor did Sinegard, where everybody was constantly judging her for her skin, for her accent, for being her. The first time you approach her at Sinegard she snapped at you, thinking you were there to laugh at her face just because she put up a fight with the Yin Nezha, the student most admired in your year, yet you just looked at her smirking, “good job” you said, hand on her shoulder, and so you became a team. You were there when she started to study with Jiang, you went with her at Khurdalain staying by her side when she couldn’t use the fire, you were by her side after she called the Phoenix, being her stable point when everything felt overwhelming. Loving Rin wasn’t easy, she was fire and rage, hard to control and to understand, but you loved this side of her. When she allowed herself to love, Rin was free, like she’s never been before: she felt safe with you, able to be herself, no pressure, no expectations, just a girl, not a Speerly, not a weapon, not a monster nor a goddess. She didn’t want to fall for you, yet it was inevitable, she realised late you were becoming important to her, and when she acknowledged that it was already too late to back up. When the Phoenix was screaming in her mind, she was terrified to hurt you, but you always smiled at her, you were here to stay, no matter what. Soon she noticed everything was clearer when you were around, stopping her burning rage came easier when your life was at risk. Her love was burning, yet only with you she was able to be truly free to fall.
“Are you back already?” Your head snaps up, looking at Rin that just entered the room. She just huffs, as she drops on her camp bed. You snort “You shouldn’t get on your bed all sweaty and dirty” Rin just rolls her eyes in disagreement, yet she awkwardly gets off the bed, sitting on the floor, her back leaning on the bed while she faces you. “My dirty skin is probably more clean than anything that touched these sheets in the last decade” She states, slumped on the floor. “Is he still being an absolute asshole?” You ask, sitting next to her, no need of stating who you are referring to. “He’s so annoying, I swear, I can’t stand him” And so she starts rumbling about everything; at first it was just her training but as she keeps talking she goes deeper. She saw Kesegi, she saw how her people were being treated and she felt so fed up. “I just feel like… like I wanna burn all of this to the ground, it’s so unfair, I need my fire back” She murmurs, you just nod. You know how hard it’s for Rin to be kept away from her goddess, you know how much she’s suffering, you know part of her that nobody else will ever see. “We’ll get it all back” And you are sure of that, because no matter what, you’ll always help her, even when everything seems lost. She is fire, unstoppable , beautiful, and you want her to burn freely, because after all, Rin deserves to be what she wanted to be, and you would have fought everyone to allow her to be free.
Chaghan Suren - silent yet eager
Chaghan’s love is not easy to understand, it goes behind the material world, it runs deep in his spirit. Chaghan was astonished when he realised he was in love with you, yet he was the only one surprised, the Cike had already figured that out and Qara, she had known for a long time, wondering why it was taking him so long to understand that it was love. First he thought he hated you, you were free, cheerful, alive, and he, he couldn’t understand how someone could feel so real. Chaghan was used to travel in the spirit’s world, in a limbo where reality was just a dream, he knew most of the rules behind the universe, yet you were still a mystery in his eyes: why were you so alive, why you drowned his eyes to you, why did he feel the need of getting to know you, why was he so mad when other people got most of your attention? Then it clicked. He was complaining to Qara about you laughing with Baji and Ramsa, when he stopped mid sentence, eyes wide, and she knew he realised. She just laughed, while Chaghan stood there shocked. From then on he became your shadow, the two of you continued to bicker yet it was more soft, he had a different light in his eyes, the edge in his voice softer, he asked hexagrams about you. You noticed this change but you never spoke about this, you were already a couple, he just noticed late how the two of you were made for each other.
“Have you stopped admiring Trengsin?” Ramsa teases him “How are you not jealous of him?” He asks, turning his head to look at you. Chaghan rolls his eyes “She has no reason to be jealous of Altan” He says annoyed. The table falls in silence, all eyes on Chaghan who is sitting next to you, while it takes him a bit to understand how wrong his sentence sounded. You have nothing to be jealous of because the two of you aren’t anything, yet he doesn’t correct himself. He feels the looks of everyone on himself, but he just shrugs his shoulders with an annoyed “what?” and so Ramsa bursts out in laughs, while Baji and Suni whistles winking and Qara just smiles sympathetically at her brother, knowing well what is going on. You just stare at him, a smile lingering on your lips, while his hand finds yours under the table, squeezing it lightly. Chaghan doesn’t say anything else and the conversation moves on quickly, but you stay hand in hand, his eyes sometimes linger on you for longer than they should when you laugh louder, when you make a terrible joke, when you agree at a dumb bet. Only when everyone is too tired and falls asleep on the table, only then, you allow yourself to rest your head on his shoulder “So I don’t have to be jealous of Altan?” He just laughs “Oh I don’t know, we’ll see” He says, kissing your forehead softly. “Take a room you two lovebirds” You hear Qara says from the doorway, as she smiles at the two of you. Her brother just huffs, a smirk lingering on his lips, and you just laugh softly, getting closer to him, while he welcomes you in his arms. For everybody else the two of you are nothing, but between the two of you there is something deep, deeper than any meaning anyone could ever find between gods and spirits. Yes, Chaghan fell for you, and he did it hard.
Sring Venka - solid yet gentle
Venka’s love was hard, it was hard for her to acknowledge and to show it. She was stubborn and always carrying around an arrogant mood, it was hard falling for her. However, it was also the easiest thing to do once you get to know her under layers of aristocracy. At Sinegard she was cold, always around Nezha, unattainable, she was beautiful and ambitious, she had everything. You were with her in the second division, you saw what Venka had to go through and she hated you for that; every time you tried to speak to her or even be close, she acted like you had insulted her. Venka, on the other hand, just couldn’t stand that you knew everything about what happened to her, you saw her at her worst, when she was fighting for survival, not the perfect girl she was used to perform, and worst of all you were able to understand her. And that was terrifying. However you were a team, and as most of the times Kitay and Rin were working together, you and her were the other pair. At first it was impossible, but with time it worked, and it was working really well, in mutual acknowledgement, none of you bringing out the subject. Not until you woke up from a nightmare and Venka was there. You had a huge fight, and after that? The two of you were inseparable. Nobody ever knew what happened that night, you screamed at each other sure, but after that night you two were the couple. Love was a word both of you were afraid to use, yet you were sure of two things: getting what you have has been hard; whatever that was, it was feeling perfect.
The air is cold and the tents of the camp can do little to protect from the weather, especially after weeks of campaigning. “Still with that red stuff?” You ask Venka. She sits on a carpet made with some branches, holding a dirty fragment of mirror while applying a red tint on her lips. “What, jealous?” She snorts, eyes darting sharply towards you “You should try to take care of your appearance too” “It’s not going to make me survive this war” You huff absentmindedly yet suddenly you realise that something is off. Venka doesn’t answer coldly at your provocations like the two of you are used to, no, she just stares in front of her, gaze lost and you immediately understand her thoughts. It doesn't make you survive on the battlefield but it does make you survive. You kneel next to her, hand on her shoulder, the mood in the tent shifted. “You know” She starts “I think I have to keep my old antics, I wouldn't be me otherwise, would I?” And she smiles, turning her head to look at you in your eyes. Her smile is tired yet not completely false, she knows you understand what she’s thinking without the need to appear weak, she knows you’re well aware that she’s breaking yet you won’t force her to show her weaknesses, you always allow her to be comfortable however she likes to. “Yeah, I won’t probably recognise you” You answer, she just punches you slightly and the two of you start chuckling, sitting close to each other in the tent, and it is the calmest place you can be.
Please write something about chaghan i am craving about that man!! 🥲
୨⎯ part time nurse ⎯୧ (chaghan.s x reader)
╰┈➤ INCLUDES : probably ooc chaghan, i described altan as a monster but i mean it in a ‘woaaahhh that persons a monster of a human they’re so buff’ way????? i love my speerly criminal, reader is embarrassing lowkey (i relate), brief mention of wounds/lacerations, (also not proofread so ignore spelling mistakes i’m lazy)
wc: 900
“will you— chaghan hold still,” you huff, cotton wool surrounding you where you sat on your bed, a bottle of disinfectant (which was pretty much just some clear alcohol and water) resting against one of your legs.
chaghan should’ve known better - altan hadn’t arrived that long ago, but he’d already been named tyr’s new successor, and while you understood chaghan wasn’t happy— to put it nicely, altan was a monster. freshly graduated, but he carried himself like he was already head of some army, he swung his trident like he was born with it already in his hand.
but chaghan? he was upset that his future position had been pulled from under him like a rug, and he just couldn’t sit there and take it. numerous times challenging altan, fighting tyr’s decision to his face and behind his back, led to altan having enough.
and then they were gone for three days, no sign of them apart from an occasional wave of flames from the valley that clearly came from altan. and when they returned? gods, chaghan was a sight for sore eyes.
obviously altan was beaten up a little himself, but it was nothing like chaghan. his long white hair was singed at the bottoms and considerably shorter, his uniform missing patches either due to being ripped by altans trident or having been burnt away, and he was clearly exhausted- not to point out the multitude of bruises, scratches and cuts across his pale skin.
and so here you were, having dragged him into your bunk so you could prevent any infections from settling in to his injuries, his beaten form sat in front of you (and considerably slumped forwards in exhaustion).
chaghan winces as the soaked cotton wool dabs over a particularly deep laceration on his shoulder, and you could almost see a bruise forming in real time next to it.
“you could’ve just had a civil conversation with tyr and altan, was this really necessary?” you breathe out, less annoyed at him for being unable to sit still and instead just worried about him. you’d know he would be upset at something like this —after all he was promised tyr’s position— but upset enough to constantly challenge altan and then fight (or get beaten up) for it three days?
“i doubt that would’ve got through to either of them,” he grumbles - you didn’t think you’d ever heard him sound like that, his exhaustion was very prevalent in his tone and yet he sounded just as annoyed as some kid with all the energy in the world to put towards challenging authority.
“yeah well- maybe stick to prophecies and the pantheon for a while, so you can heal up properly,” you scoff in reply, reaching for a bandage just next to chaghan.
unable to find any scissors, you decide instead to just further rip his uniform to be able to wrap the bigger of his cuts - after all his uniform wasn’t exactly wearable anymore anyways. you grip the fabric either side of the laceration you were just cleaning, ripping the fabric so the arm of his tunic comes away completely, giving you full access to his shoulder.
“i’ll uh, find you a new tunic after,” you break the silence that had settled in, glancing up at his face for a moment before focusing back on his wound.
chaghan doesn’t say anything, but you can almost feel his glare on you, as if his uniform wasn’t already completely ruined by the speerly he had to challenge a few times too many.
you decide to work in silence, as the man in front of you was obviously still salty about his lack of future command, and you’d rather not become the new victim of his misdirected anger. your hands work quickly as you wrap a bandage around his shoulder to keep it safe from any debris that could cause irritation or infection, before doing the same for the other handful of deeper cuts across his upper body and one of his things.
eventually the silence becomes suffocating- which was odd. you always found chaghan easy to spend time with in silence, just in eachothers presence. but with his anger, it felt uncomfortable and so you wanted to try and adjust that.
“you know, i’m kinda glad altan is now tyr’s successor,” you chuckle softly — wrong move. you can feel chaghans white eyes glaring into the crown of your head as you clear your throat and attempt to finish your sentence and maybe save yourself, “you would’ve been a strict commander- and i can’t see baji listening to you much, you know? so- you saved yourself a headache really,” you chuckle again, hoping chaghan didn’t decide he was done with your comments and completely murder you.
instead, as you looked up from wrapping his last cut, he just stared at you through squinted eyes and furrowed brows as if trying to read you like a book. he simply just stink-eyed you in silence for a few minutes until you spoke up and broke the smothering silence again.
“d’you uh- want me to cut off the singed ends of your hair off..?” you ask, tone unsure.
chaghans eyes trailed over to his shoulder where you’d ripped the arm of his uniform off, and then down to his leg where you’d done a similar thing to wrap that laceration, before looking back at you, “no, i’ll ask qara,” he sighs.
this was my first time attempting to write anything for chaghan so i do apologise that it’s so bad and lowkey ooc :,) it’s been a WHIIILLEE since i’ve read much of chaghans scenes oops i think im needing a reread of tpw and tdr
i tried to go in the direction of “chaghan would’ve commanded like a demon… he would’ve taken away their free will. chaghan would’ve shattered minds” with the whole ‘you would’ve been strict!’ thing but i have definitely underplayed what he would be like LMAO
i also struggled a little cuz in my head chaghan is a 100% gay man like he very much loves men imo and i try to keep my fics gender neutral but i was so tempted to add some gay ass quotes or descriptions but i had to refrain :( LOL
