#chahnniesroom

[chahnniesroom]

Heyyyy Mrs Room oop i mean Rae (hehe 😆)

Story 💡 ideaaaaasfor your event

is that MC has asthma and has an attack

1 on stage

2stepping into the cold after a fight

dealers choice of course with what you want to do (btw asthma gets triggered based on temperature as well as exercise)

1 As the song ends performing for fans at a music bank so she feels herself getting wheezy and pushes though and as soon as she song ends rushes or sneaks offstage and almost crashes and a stray boy or 2 (lee know/ Chan) helps her get her inhaler / comforts/sitswith her/ not rushing her - maybe jokes about her stupid lungs not working etc / comforts her

2 9th member ish the dorms has been riddled with fighting the last week and usually MC doesn’t fight but got into one about (dealers choice) with ( Han or felix ) and storms out into cold without jacket that she keeps her inhaler in and suffers in cold angry walking but calls the other boy (Han or felix ) to help but the call gets dropped chaos ensues

Love your writing ✍️ 🥰 i’m sure what you do will be great.

- 🪴🫶🏽

breathless

pairing: chan & reader, minho & reader

word count: 1k

tags/warnings: asthma attack, 9th member au

a/n: my first bullet point fic 🫣 i tried to do this one in under 1 hr and failed again but once i decided to do bullet points then i finished it up pretty quick. thanks for the request anon!! also mrs room is crazy!! i am happily unmarried so miss room is fine 😂😂

speed requests | masterlist

You notice that your throat is tightening up during the break right before the concert’s encore. It’s the longest time that you have between performances and one of the few times where you can usually catch your breath.

Today it seems, that’s not the case. 

At some point, you get one of the staff to pass over one of the portable humidifiers, but the steam only partly eases the tightness in your chest. You’re about to ask for someone to grab your inhaler from your bag, but it’s already time to head back on stage.

Once you’re out for the next song, you realise that it’s not just the effort of performing that’s causing your asthma to act up. This venue doesn’t have a roof and as the concert goes on, it’s getting colder and colder 

You try not to panic because that makes your chest tighten even more

You get yourself back into idol mode and try to keep your energy up. Luckily for the encore there’s no intense choreography and you have the freedom to take it a bit easier than normal without drawing attention to yourself. You smile and laugh and play around with the rest of the members

You’re a little surprised, but you must be a pretty decent actress because you’re able to keep the boys from noticing there’s anything wrong

Still, jumping and running around irritates your airways even more. You’re able to keep your voice relatively steady for any lines that you have to sing, but it’s a challenge.

You’re thankful when you wrap up the last song. Usually you’re one of the last in the group to leave at the end of a concert, preferring to linger and take in the crowd as much as possible, but today you quickly wave, blow a kiss to the camera, and leave

You’re not even sure how you managed to last this long, your breathing is laboured and you feel dizzy. Combining the fact that dark splotches are starting to appear in your vision and the dim lighting backstage, you can’t stop yourself from bumping into Minho

He reflexively grabs your arm and steadies you so that you don’t completely topple over.

“Woah, are you okay, Y/n-ah?” he asks.

Your panicked gasps is response enough for him to jump into action

He pulls your arm around his shoulders and hooks his arm around your waist

“Channie-hyung!” Minho calls, looking around frantically. “Changbin-ah, go grab hyung and tell him that Y/n-ah is having an asthma attack. I’m going to take her back to the waiting room, but she needs her inhaler.”

Minho hauls you through the backstage hallways as quickly as he can without straining your breathing even more. He talks to you the whole time, probably trying to both distract and calm you down

Or maybe he’s just trying to keep himself calm too

While you appreciate it, you can’t even tell what he’s saying, your full concentration on moving one leg in front of the other and trying to draw in oxygen.

It’s all a blur, one moment you’re stumbling through the hallways and the next you’re collapsed on a couch. Minho is sitting beside you, rubbing circles into your back

Someone brings over a humidifier and you keep it right in front of your face, greedily trying to take in all of the steam

At some point, rest of the members pile into the room and you know they're concerned but all the noises and bodies so close, it's just too much

Somebody must say something because a moment later, they're all gone except for Minho who hasn't moved from when he first sat down

“Y/n-ah.” You open your eyes to find Chan crouched in front of you, presenting your inhalers to you. “Which one do you need?”

You grab onto your rescue inhaler, but your hands are too weak to take off the cap.

Chan gently pries it from your hands, shaking it, then lifting it to your mouth.

You can’t take a deep enough breath in for the spray to be fully effective, but it still helps. It’s still difficult to breathe, but you’re no longer wheezing

After a minute you take another puff and this one works much better

You finally feel like the oxygen is making it to your lungs and you’re able to slow your breathing. You close your eyes, exhausted, and Minho lets you lean on him. This whole time, he’s never stopped soothing you. Right now, he’s combing his fingers through your hair and it feels so good that you doze off

Chan wakes you about 10 minutes later. He doesn’t want to, but by now your rescue inhaler should have helped enough that it’s the best time for you to take your regular inhaler

You’re feeling much more steady, but Chan still helps take the lid off, holds it up for you, and gives you tea as a reward. You use both hands to hold onto the mug and even the warmth makes you feel better. Each sip alleviates the soreness that has developed in your throat

As soon as you’ve finished your tea, you tell the boys that you’re ready to go back to the hotel. Chan assures you that you’re allowed to stay as long as you need, but you’re ready to take a hot shower and lie down on a bed (not that Minho isn’t comfortable)

You can walk fine, but Chan insists on carrying you on his back to the cars. Him and Minho sandwich you in the backseat even though there’s more than enough room to spread out. They both hover around you as you make your way into the hotel and up to your room

You find out that one of the other members had called ahead and gotten some soup delivered to your room. 

Chan and Minho give you privacy as you wash up, but don’t leave your side until you’re tucked into bed

speed requests | masterlist

[chahnniesroom]

Hello! For speed requests could you please maybe do an angsty Changbin x reader..? Where reader has self image issues (and unfortunately we know Bin does too) and he snaps at reader, making her feel insecure. Happy ending though! Please! Thank you! 💕💕💕

nothing to lose

pairing: changbin x female reader

word count: 1.9k

tags/warnings: body image, dieting, extreme weight loss, angst, arguments

a/n: thank you so much for this request anon!! i had such a fun time writing it that i spent a bit more than 1 hour (more like 3 or 4) writing it and wish i could have spent even more to perfect it! i hope you like it~

speed requests | masterlist

Changbin has always made jokes about abs and being able to show them off to Stays. And for a long time, that’s all they were, jokes.

You know that even with all the pressure from management, industry standards, and fans, he’s never been insecure about his weight. When he became known for being the strongest member of the group, he was proud of that and it boosted his confidence even more.

You know that he knows what’s best for himself and that he won’t be influenced by others and you love him for that. So when he decides to challenge himself and actually try to lose enough weight to get abs, you support him. He tells you that he just wants to prove to himself that he can do it and you believe him.

Changbin has gone through many cycles of bulking and cutting, so it’s not out of the ordinary for him to be on a calorie deficit. He’s absolutely committed to this diet and it’s not long before he’s lost a noticeable amount of weight. But it’s not without some sacrifice.

Changbin has always gone to the gym a lot, but now he’s there more than ever. On top of dance and strength training, he starts adding in more and more cardio into his routine. 

Of course, it’s also not the same when something that once helped to bring you together - food - is no longer something you can enjoy together. The two of you don’t go out to eat at restaurants anymore because of Changbin’s diet plan. You don’t cook together because he already has his own meal prep. You barely even eat together because he claims that the smell of your food is too tempting.

And more than these things, Changbin’s behaviour changes. Changbin has always been the sweetest, most caring and thoughtful boyfriend ever. You don’t know if it’s stress from the concert prep, not eating enough, or not sleeping enough, but his patience is non-existent these days and he’s quick to get annoyed at little things that have never bothered him.

You’re also worried that Changbin is getting obsessed with feedback from the fans. His weightloss journey has been remarkable for sure and you’ve never seen him as pleased as after his first performance showing off his new abs. When he’s at home with you, he’s constantly scrolling on his phone, something he used to never do, and saving posts. His screenshots are all praise and compliments, fans freaking out over his body. He's strict to a point that you begin to think that he's just punishing himself.

You're glad that he's worked this hard, but you don't want this to consume him.

It all comes to a head when you bring up going out one last time before Changbin leaves on tour. You’re not exactly expecting an enthusiastic yes, but you’re still shocked when he doesn’t even consider it, immediately mentioning that he has to follow his diet plan.

“Come on,” you plead. “Just one dinner? We’re not going to be able to see each other for so long.”

“You wouldn’t understand, I want to, but I can’t just let myself go, especially so close to tour.”

“I’m not asking you to completely quit your diet, it’s one meal, Changbin-ah. It can be healthy, we can work it into your meal plan.”

“Why are you pushing so much? I'm an idol, appearance is part of my job. We can do something when I get back.”

“I’m just a bit concerned-” you start to say

“People finally like me, Y/n-ah. I just don’t want to be that gross and fat person that I used to be. I finally look good and I like it. Is that so hard to believe?”

“You weren’t! You were healthy! You weren’t fat and you certainly weren’t gross! Real fans aren’t going to like you based on your weight, Changbin. They’re the ones that see your talent, your hard work. They've been with you all along.”

“Nobody liked me before I lost weight. Why would they? I looked terrible back then.”

“Well I did!” you insist. “You didn't have to change a thing, you were enough as you were, Changbin.”

“Listen,” Changbin says, annoyance leaking into his voice. “Just because you can’t lose weight and are jealous, doesn’t mean that you’re allowed to stop me from my diet. I'm doing better now and I don’t understand why you aren’t supporting me in this.”

Changbin has never commented on your weight before. You eat healthy, but you don’t restrict yourself and your appearance reflects that. You thought that Changbin didn’t care about that sort of thing, but apparently you were wrong.  

“Right,” you swallow hard. “Just forget about it then, okay? It’s fine.”

That night, you stare at yourself for a long time in the mirror.

You know you’re nothing special. You don’t have long legs, a well defined waist, slender arms. You never really lost the baby fat in your cheeks and it’s especially apparent when you smile.

As idols, the boys are constantly surrounded by beautiful people. You’ve seen some of the pictures from fanmeets, all of the girls who are all dressed up with gorgeous make up, hair, and bodies. You wonder for a moment if Changbin would love you more if you lost weight. If you looked more like them. 

For the next few days, all you can think about is the fact that Changbin thought he used to be gross and fat, that maybe it means he thinks the same thing about you.

He’s never brought up the idea of going public and while you’ve also never really considered it, you can’t help but think that maybe he was ashamed of being seen with you. 

With Stray Kids on tour for the next few months, you won’t be seeing Changbin in person any time soon. You had been dreading it, but now you realise it’s an opportunity to see if you can transform yourself by the time that he returns. 

You tell yourself that you're not trying to do this just to please him. You're just curious if you can. How you'll look, how you'll feel. 

Honestly, it’s easier than you thought. It helps that, every time you think of Changbin, every time you picture his disgusted face when he was talking about how he used to look, you lose your appetite. You dive into tips on losing weight quickly and being able to keep it off, religiously following the advice that all the thin and pretty girls on the internet tell you.

You skip breakfast, relying on iced americanos to get you through the day. When you make it to your first meal, you eat as slowly as possible, sipping water in between to try and trick your stomach into thinking it's full. You understand now, why eating out or buying prepared food feels like giving up. When you were in school, you didn't try as hard in some of your classes as you are now, tracking every little calorie, carefully portioning out and weighing food before you even think of eating it.

You get a gym membership and a personal trainer for the first time in your life. You attend pilates classes and get a walking pad because you want to make sure that you're getting your steps in even when the weather is bad.

Slowly, the weight comes off. You know for sure because you've had to start buying new clothes, your old ones not fitting you well anymore. A couple of your coworkers have complimented your appearance. You feel good, the first time it happens, but you start to wonder if they too had previously criticised your weight. 

But still, it's not enough.

You’re wary of taking any medication, but you start drinking weight loss tea in the mornings. Your snacks are exclusively weight loss jellies which you've heard helps to control your appetite, eliminate your cravings, and improve digestion.

It's easy to overlook the more negative impacts of your diet, if you can even call them that. Of course you're hungry all the time, in fact you feel proud because that means you’re doing a good job in not eating too much. It's not a big deal that you’re always cold because if your body is trying to heat itself up more, that probably means you're burning more calories.

As Stray Kids’ tour leg comes to an end, you push yourself more and more, hopeful each time you step on the scale and disappointed whenever the number isn't as low as you had hoped. You just want Changbin to be proud of you, you just want him to like you.

Not only are you the lowest weight that you've ever been, you feel the healthiest.

So when you fit in one last PT session before Changbin returns, the last thing you're expecting to do is pass out.

You're not even sure how it happens, one moment you're partway done your cooldown run on the treadmill, the next you're waking up in a hospital. 

When you realise that Changbin is beside you, you groan, getting his attention.

“Y/n-ah, what happened?” he asks frantically.

“It's nothing,” you say, hiding your face in your hands. “Sorry, I didn't want you to see me like this.”

You had planned to dress nicely for your reunion and had even practiced doing your hair and makeup in a way that accentuated your new figure and face shape. Now he's seeing you without any makeup and still in your sweaty workout clothes.

“You're in the hospital! It's not nothing.”

“I just got too dizzy at the gym,” you explain. “I must have passed out, they didn't have to bring me to a hospital, I'm fine.”

“What were you doing at the gym?” Changbin asks. Even though you know he doesn't mean it, the question stings. Almost like you've confirmed your theories that Changbin doesn't believe in you, that he doesn't think you have what it takes to lose weight.

“What? I can't go to the gym?” you scoff.

“No, that's not what I meant,” Changbin says. “It's just- you look like you need to be resting. You haven't been eating well? Are you sick? You look so-”

“What do you mean?” you ask, in a small voice. “I- I was dieting, I thought this was what you wanted?”

“What?” Changbin asks, sounding devastated. “Why would you need to lose weight?”

“You said- before the tour,” you try to explain, trying not to panic. You thought that Changbin would be happy, how could this have gone so wrong? “You said that I couldn't lose weight. But I can! I wanted to surprise you?”

“No no no, what? I would never-” Changbin takes a deep breath to gather himself. “I'm sorry that I made you feel like you had to change yourself to- to try to please me or something. I never intended to make you doubt yourself or feel less than. I know that I was too hard on myself before the tour, the guys knocked some sense into me, and I'm really sorry that it influenced you as well.”

“I don't understand,” you laugh uncertainly. “You don't have to apologise, I-”

“Y/n-ah, I love you just the way you are and however you look or how much you weigh isn't going to change that,” Changbin says gently. “I messed up and I'm really sorry that I made you feel bad about yourself. I promise that I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you.”

speed requests | masterlist

[chahnniesroom]

speed request masterlist

[info about speed requests!]

nothing to lose - changbin x reader | angst | 1.9k

in the heat of an argument, changbin snaps at you, making you insecure about your weight

breathless - chan & reader, minho & reader | fluff | 1k

near the end of a performance, you suffer from an asthma attack. chan and minho help you recover

[chahnniesroom]

in an instant

pairing: none (platonic ot8 & female reader)

summary: despite the fact that joining the already established stray kids as their 9th member is the most challenging thing you've ever done, you're determined not to give up. things don't go according to plan.

word count: 2.5k

tags/warnings: 9th member au, angst

a/n: in a perfect world i would have spent much more time on this idea and made it a full like 15-20k word multi-chaptered fic with a lot more dialogue and stuff but i was pretty sure i would lose interest by then so here we are! this is actually the second fastest i've ever written a fic (only took 1 week!) so i'm going to count this as a win lol

part 2 | read it on ao3 | masterlist

Having been a trainee for all of your teenage years, you've seen a lot of the darker sides to the industry and you've trained yourself for practically any situation you could imagine. You've spent hours honing your skills and trying to become more well-rounded, spending time practicing rap, dance, singing, producing, choreographing, acting, and languages.

Yet nothing could have prepared you for when management sits you down and tells you that they're considering for you to debut as a member of the already established, all boys group, Stray Kids.

Honestly, after so many years with nothing to show for it, you had thought that it was more likely that they were dropping you as a trainee. After all, even though you had consistently been praised by instructors, you had never made it to being short-listed for any groups or considered to be a soloist.

So even though you know it’s purely experimental, that practically none of the fans would want this to happen, that this would likely end up to be one of the most controversial debuts ever, you say yes. If this is your one and only chance to become an idol, you’re going to take what you can get and give it your all.

You sign the papers that same day and management organises a time for you to meet the members a couple days later.

You want to meet them as soon as you can so that there’s less of a chance they’ll scrap the idea, but as you stand outside the room that the members are in, you start to doubt yourself. You take a deep breath to steel your nerves, then raise a shaky hand to knock on the door. You overhear Chan’s voice right as your fist is about to make contact and manage to pull back just in time.

“Listen,” he says. “I know this isn’t ideal, but we don’t have much of a choice. Let’s just try to make the best of this and see what happens. As long as the eight of us can stick together, lean on each other, I know that we can get through this. She’ll be coming soon, so let’s try to be nice, okay?”

Well, that definitely answers your question on whether the members were involved in the decision-making process for your addition to the group. Chan framed it perfectly, it’s less than ideal. Of course you’d prefer to join a group that actively wants you, but you have to take what you can get. At your age, you can’t exactly afford to be picky.

It’s disheartening to hear right before you’re about to meet them for the first time, but you hope that once you start working with them, you’ll be able to prove yourself. 

Over the next few weeks, you come to learn that it doesn’t exactly work like that. The boys are nice, but not overly welcoming. Exceedingly polite, but guarded. Helpful, but not going out of their way to get to know you. At the end of the day, they’re coworkers who know they have no other option but to try and get along with you. You wish things were different, but at the same time, you can't blame them.

3Racha work with you the most. You spent enough time as a trainee producing on your own that the company pushes you to spend time in the studio with them. You learn a lot from them, amazed by the ease with which Chan utilises Cubase to create tracks, the unique rhythms that Changbin adds to songs, the speed that Jisung spits out new lyrics, how their talents complement each other.

Knowing that you're an outsider to all of this and not wanting to interrupt, you jot down your thoughts on a tiny notebook that you carry around. On occasion, when you build up enough courage to mention an idea you have, they listen to you, but usually override it later on in the process. They’re not trying to be rude, but after so many years, they’ve already figured out their own flow when it comes to making music and it doesn’t have space for you.

You even move into the dorms with them and Hyunjin. Management has informed you that they considered giving you a place to yourself, but hoped that sharing a living space with them would aid with your integration in the group. 

It's not exactly successful. You almost never see them around even though your schedules are practically identical. At first you think it's just unfortunate timing or even them wanting to give you space to settle in and feel more comfortable. But after a few weeks, you can tell it's more than a coincidence that the common areas are always empty when you're around. They're avoiding you.

You start to spend more time away from the dorms, feeling bad that you're taking away the one space they have to themselves. You always pulled long hours at the company as a trainee, but now you're pretty sure that you're breaking records for time spent in the dance studios. You have a lot to catch up on anyway and by the time you finish practice, it's usually so late that everybody else is already in bed, or you don't even bother to go home.

In the beginning, the boys try to make the effort to invite you along whenever they eat dinner together. But it’s hard to ignore the sense that you don’t quite belong. You don’t understand the inside jokes that they laugh about, aren’t familiar with half the names that they mention, you don’t know when to jump into the conversation versus when to just listen.

But team dinners are far and few between, meaning your opportunities to hang out with the members outside of schedules are also rare. During schedules and practices, you feel like an annoying ninth wheel that they have to drag along with them.

You get one month to prepare and train with the group before the company officially announces your addition to the group. The feedback is generally what you expect.

Some are curious about who you are and what skills you have to offer, but as expected, the vast majority were openly against you joining Stray Kids. 

They wonder what the company was thinking to suddenly add a new member, and a female one at that, and you're honestly wondering the same thing.

The comments pick on your height, weight, hair, skin, anything and everything about your appearance, how strong your voice is, and any slight missteps you make while dancing. They notice all the awkward interactions between you and the members that are caught on cameras, hesitations when answering questions about you or jokes that seem a little too forced.

You do your best to ignore all the criticism, instead throwing yourself headlong into ensuring that you’ve perfected every move and note for upcoming performances. At first it's not too bad, it's easy to stay away from social media when you keep yourself so busy. 

But the fans get creative, they send protest trucks and funeral wreaths to the company building. During the couple performances that you do shortly after debuting, the crowd always goes completely silent when it comes to your part or really any time that you're shown on screen. You get assigned a plain clothed security detail for any time that you have to be out alone in public after fans start following and harassing you. 

It all comes to a head when the comeback finally happens. It's just a digital single, but management has decided to market it almost like a single album, spending time to film a music video, dance practice video, even organising a whole press junket for promotion.

And it's the worst performing comeback Stray Kids has ever had. Numbers and engagement is even lower than when the group had first debuted and were still relatively unknown. You've seen how Stays are rallying together to boycott the comeback and telling others to avoid interacting with posts.

You see how it drains the boys. They've had to work hard in preparation and for it to do so poorly is more than disappointing. To your face, they try to stay polite, but tempers are shorter when you're around and you know that they all, rightfully, blame you for this disastrous comeback.

You can handle the hate when it's directed to you, and while you know it's impossible, you really were hoping that the rest of the group wouldn't be significantly affected. It kills you, knowing that you're the reason for the fans boycotting the group and you consider if it would be best to graciously leave the group. But selfishly, you still don't want to give up.

It's challenging and it's tiring and most of all, it's lonely.

You're surrounded by people all the time, spend most of your days with the same eight boys, and yet you've never felt so alone.

But you knew that. You had hoped that if you ever debuted, you would consider the group to be a second family, of course you had. But at the same time you knew that it was just wishful thinking. You weren't guaranteed to like the other members and they might not like you.

So you don't complain. You bite your tongue and hold back your tears and you dance and sing and continue making songs that you knew 3Racha will never accept. To be on stage, even if the crowd was full of fans that hated you, it was enough.

—

It's hard not to be nervous when you get a text from one of your managers, Daon, late one evening, telling you that you're being excused from morning dance practice to attend a meeting. He says it's a regular check-in, but it's hard to believe when they haven't bothered to have any other meetings in the past.

In fact, you were surprised that there hadn't even been a meeting to inform you when the company was going to announce your debut to the public. Of course, you had been monitored continuously in the month beforehand and you assume the trainers and managers had been at least somewhat satisfied with how you were doing since you continued practicing with the group, but nobody had sat you down and let you know that they had decided to officially make you a member.

All the promotions for the comeback are long finished now and although preparations are starting for the next one, a mini album, you know that everybody has the same question in mind. Will you still be with the group by then?

The uneasy feeling that something terrible is about to happen just intensifies when you arrive at the room and find that along with Daon are a number of faces from different levels of management, many that you've never spoken with before.

“Y/n-ssi, thank you for coming today,” Daon starts, as if you had a choice whether to attend or not.

You murmur a quick greeting in response, still unsure what the purpose of the meeting is.

“As you know, it has been three months since you officially debuted. Based on your compatibility with the rest of the group and the reaction from the fans, the decision has been made to terminate your contract as a member of Stray Kids,” Daon says. His tone is bland and unapologetic, as if he was reading pages from a phonebook rather than telling you that your career as an idol was over after only a few short months.

“Effective immediately,” the man beside Daon adds, as if the situation wasn't already bad enough.

“We would like to get the boys back on track as soon as possible,” Daon explains unnecessarily. “You understand, don't you?”

“Of course,” you reply automatically. But you don't. You have no idea what's happening. How this could be happening so suddenly. Of course, you knew that being dropped was always a looming threat, but you had always assumed that there would be warning signs, that you'd have a chance to fix things.

“Great,” Daon says.

“Did- did you talk to the other members about this?” you ask, finally finding your voice and cutting him off. “Did they agree that they didn’t want me in the group anymore?”

“The other members will be informed of your official removal from the group this evening. Their opinion during the decision-making process was irrelevant.”

“I see,” you say weakly.

Actually, you’re a little grateful that the boys weren’t actually involved in this decision. Although it probably would have been a unanimous vote anyway, if there was anything that could make you hurt any more than you already are, it would be having that confirmed.

“You'll be escorted back to dorms and will have some assistance packing all of your belongings.” Daon continues on. “I understand that you lived in Seoul prior to being a trainee, so I trust that you will be able to find new accommodations on your own. Please ensure that you return your employee ID before you leave the building and any equipment you may have borrowed from the company can be collected by the staff who will help you pack.”

“I understand,” you whisper. “There’s- there’s nothing I can do? To change your minds or-”

“Unfortunately this is not a decision that can be changed. We appreciate your talent, Y/n-ssi, and all the years you have been with the company, but we just don't see you with a future at JYPE. I'm really sorry.” Daon says, sounding anything but.

Before you can say or do anything else, Daon and the rest of the staff in the room stand, bow, and exit the room, leaving you alone.

6 years as a trainee, 4 months as a member of Stray Kids, and all it took was a 5 minute meeting to end it all.

True to Daon’s word, after you give up your employee ID, you're escorted out of the building and to the dorms, where a staff member helps you as you mechanically pack all your belongings.

It only takes you two hours to remove every trace of your existence from the dorm. You suppose that Hyunjin will be glad to get the room back to use for his paintings. He's been storing things in his room while you've been in the group, but has complained that the smell of paint makes it more difficult for him to sleep. Just one more reason it's better for you to leave, you think.

In fact, in the time that you've been packing, you haven't been able to think of any argument against the termination of your contract. Maybe that's the worst part, as much as you hate it, you know the company is making the smarter, better choice to cut you out. You've brought nothing but bad things to the group.

Once you’ve packed everything, the staff member leads you out. You hand over your keys and watch from the sidewalk, surrounded by all your belongings, as he gets into the company car and drives away.

You’re on your own now.

part 2 | read it on ao3 | masterlist

[chahnniesroom]

yet so far

pairing: older brother! seungmin & female reader

summary: even though you live in the same city as seungmin, sometimes you feel like you're worlds away. when seungmin finds out, he's determined to visit home in time for the holidays.

word count: 2.9k

warnings: nothing i think!

a/n: this was a request from an anon a few months ago. this might not be quite what you had in mind, but i thought seungmin would fit this fic! in reality, he only has an older sister (and i made up a name for her bc i don't know what it is) but i created a younger sister for him haha also yeah the ending is abrupt but i really could not think of what else to write, maybe i'll add a bit more later

read it on ao3 | masterlist

 

Seungmin has long come to terms with the fact that the life of an idol is one of sacrifice.

He understood this when he became a trainee and even more so when he signed the contract to become a member of Stray Kids. Over the past few years, he’s grown resigned to it. The long hours, physical demands, constant public pressures, lack of privacy, they’re all things he has accepted and even welcomes since he loves being an idol.

But he’s always struggled with how it has affected his family and how he couldn’t be as close with them as he wanted to be.

He knows that it’s hard on his family, but he does his best to keep in touch with everybody.

He calls his parents at least once a week and messages his sisters pretty often. His older sister, Jihae, usually gives him updates on how the family is doing and lightly probes to make sure that Seungmin isn’t working himself too hard, while you keep things light, sending him memes, restaurant recommendations, or videos that you think he would find interesting. 

You’re partway through your university degree and are quite busy, sometimes with long delays in replying, so Seungmin knows you don’t mind that he also lets your messages pile up at times before he reads and responds to them all at once. You’re only younger than Seungmin by a couple years and the two of you have always been closest, regardless of how often you talk.

When Seungmin gets back from his schedule one day, he sees that his older sister has messaged him. She’s continued their ongoing conversation, but has also sent him something that makes him pause.

From Jihae-noona [Dec 20 - 7:43 pm]

Just curious - have you spoken to Y/nnie much lately?

He pulls up the chat that he has with you and finds that it’s definitely quieter than usual, although he had attributed it to the final exams that he knows you’re studying for. Now he’s not so sure.

From Y/nnie [Dec 16 - 2:30 pm]

Heyy oppa!

How have you been lately?

To Y/nnie [Dec 16 - 4:26 pm]

Hey Y/nnie

Same as usual, things are busy

From Y/nnie [Dec 16 - 4:28 pm]

Yeah, that’s what I assumed

Any fun plans for Christmas?

To Y/nnie [Dec 16 - 4:29 pm]

Just a bunch of schedules

The end of the year is busy

From Y/nnie [Dec 16 - 4:31 pm]

I see

Hope that you have a good time

Stay healthy!! Fighting!

To Y/nnie [Dec 16 - 4:57 pm]

Thanks

Reading back the last messages that he sent, Seungmin winces inwardly. He remembers when he sent them, he had just arrived at a schedule as he was responding so he had rushed a little bit. Looking back, he can see how it could have come across as a bit callous. That had been a few days ago and you hadn’t sent anything back, just reacted to his message with a thumbs up.

Instead of messaging Jihae back, Seungmin just calls her directly, worry starting to form a pit in his stomach. You've always been the most sensitive of the three of them, even if you didn't like to show it.

“Hey puppy.” Jihae picks up after a few rings. “I didn’t think you’d call.”

“Is Y/n-ah okay?” Seungmin asks. “Did something happen to her?”

“Way to greet your noona,” Jihae tsks. Seungmin can practically feel her rolling her eyes.

“Hi noona, is Y/n-ah okay?”

“She's fine, she's fine,” Jihae finally says. “I didn't mean to make you worried.”

“Like actually fine? Or her version of fine?” Seungmin prods.

“She’s just-” Jihae sighs, probably thinking of how to word it. “Withdrawn, I guess. You know how she gets.”

“Is it school? Did Eomma or Appa say anything to her?”

“I didn't talk to them about her. You know if Eomma gets on her case then she just clams up even more.”

“Yeah,” Seungmin agrees. “That's exactly what would happen.”

“But…” Jihae trails off, sounding unsure if she should share.

“Just tell me,” Seungmin groans. “She's my sister too. I know that Y/n-ah and I aren't as close as we were before, but if you're concerned about her, I want to know why.”

“She asked me a couple times if I knew if you were going to be able to come home to visit anytime soon. I told her that you wanted to, but might not be able to help it because of work.”

“What did she say?” Seungmin asks, trying to ignore the shame that curls in his stomach. His parents had also asked about whether he had any days off around Christmas or New Year’s, but he hadn’t been able to promise anything at the time. 

“She tried to play it off, said that she was glad that she'd continue getting a room to herself, but I knew she was disappointed.”

Growing up you had shared a room with Jihae, but when Seungmin had moved into the dorms, you had taken over his old room. It was something you always teased him about.

“Oh,” Seungmin says.

“And she's been sleeping with Daengmo again,” Jihae says quietly.

Seungmin had been pacing the room slowly as he spoke with Jihae, but at her words, he sits down heavily on his bed. 

“I didn't know.” Is all he can think of in reply.

And it's Jihae he's talking to, so he doesn't have to say anything else. They both know that you retreated within yourself when you were upset about something. That you didn't want to cause concern so you tried to act alright.

But when you were younger, you had always eventually opened up to Seungmin. He wasn't sure why, everyone assumed that it would be Jihae that you would turn to since you were roommates, but he had secretly been honoured to be your confidant, the only one you trusted with the feelings that you were wrestling with.

That's why you had been the one in the family to take it the hardest when Seungmin moved out. You had tried to hide it, but Seungmin had seen all times your eyes had been puffy and red in the morning, how you had clung to him those last few days.

He had gifted you Daengmo that last night at home. It had always been his favourite toy and as a child, he had adamantly refused to let you play with the stuffed dog, citing that you would get him dirty and ruin his fur. You had broken down in tears, promising to keep him safe.

Nobody in the family ever mentioned it, but they all knew that you were having a hard time when you slept with Daengmo in your bed. Most of the time, you kept him in exactly the same place that Seungmin had stored him, high up on a shelf that you had been too short to reach as a child.

“It's not your fault, you know,” Jihae says eventually. Seungmin's not sure how long he's been lost in his head, but Jihae’s kind enough not to mention the silence

“It is, I didn't even realised that we haven't been talking as much. What kind of brother am I?”

“There's nothing wrong with being focused on your career. And it's not like you have it easy. Y/nnie understands that, we all understand that.”

“Well she shouldn't have to! I-” 

“Hey, hey, you can’t blame yourself for everything,” Jihae interrupts. She’s always been able to sense when Seungmin’s thoughts have started to spiral. “Y/n’s not a child anymore, she can talk to you any time that she wants and she knows that. Every relationship is two-way, it’s not all on you?”

“I guess,” Seungmin agrees reluctantly. “I just feel like I let her down, you know? I promised her that I’d always be around and I couldn’t keep that promise.”

“Well you were stupid for making that promise,” Jihae says, catching Seungmin off guard.

“Hey! What do you mean by that?” he complains.

“Even if you were just a regular office worker, you probably wouldn’t always be around. You probably would have moved out and would be spending all your time doing overtime for an uptight boss who doesn’t pay you enough. What I’m saying is this, it was an unfair promise to both of you. You can’t always be there for Y/nnie and you don’t have to be. She knows that you care about her and that’s all that matters.”

“Still,” Seungmin says. “I should try to see you, all of you, before the end of the year.”

“I’m not arguing with you there. I think everyone would like it if we could see you, but don’t stress about it, okay? You’ve got enough on your plate.”

Seungmin wracks his mind, trying to think of a time that they have off. 

“I’ll figure out something and let you know. See you soon,” he says, then hangs up after Jihae says bye.

—

Seungmin manages to arrange for an evening off with a late start the next day. It works out well as the other members with family nearby are also able to take advantage of it and travel home. He makes sure that his family is free while keeping it a secret from you, wanting to surprise you.

The day of, he arrives back home, into the waiting arms of his eomma, who quickly sits him down and gives him tea and something to eat, insisting that he rest his foot as much as possible. You’ve gone out for the morning with some friends from university which gives Seungmin enough time to catch up with Jihae and his parents and get settled in at home.

Right before you're supposed to arrive back home, Seungmin decides that he wants to surprise you by hiding in his former room, the one that you now stay in. He hides his shoes in the closet and makes sure that his jacket and bag are mixed away in the clutter of the house to avoid any suspicion.

When he hears you enter and greet the rest of the family, he's surprised to find that he's a bit nervous. He's been so excited in the days leading up, but now he's not sure what your reaction is going to be. Luckily it doesn't take long before he hears your footsteps approaching the door.

“Surprise!” Seungmin calls out as soon as you enter, lifting his arms to make jazz hands from where he's sitting in the chair at your desk.

You scream and drop your bag, stumbling back until your shoulder hits the doorframe. Seungmin can't help but burst into laughter at that.

“Seungmin-oppa?” you ask, frozen in the doorway. “You’re here? I thought you were busy?”

“Well I made myself un-busy,” Seungmin says, as if it were that simple. It had actually been easier than he thought, but had still taken a couple of days to arrange things to coincide with a time that the whole family would be home for dinner.

“Just to visit us?” You wrinkle your nose in suspicion. “Is something wrong?”

“No, I came back because I wanted to,” Seungmin says. “You guys are important to me and it's been too long since I came by.”

Seungmin hooks an arm around you, pulling you into a light headlock that you playfully fight until he spins you around, trapping you in a warm hug that has you relaxing instantly.

“I missed you,” he murmurs into the top of your head.

“I missed you too,” you reply from where your face is squished into his shoulder. Your voice cracks halfway through and when Seungmin pulls back slightly, he sees that tears are starting to well up. He knows that you hate crying in front of others, so he pulls you closer.

“I know, Jihae told me,” he teases you. “Who would have thought that you love your big brother so much?”

“That snitch!” you gasp. “Is that it? That's why you came back?”

“It may have factored into my decision making process.” Seungmin shrugs slightly. “She was worried about you.”

“I was fine,” you huff. “I just missed you.”

“Is there something that happened? How come you didn’t message me? Was it- did I do something?” Seungmin is almost afraid to ask.

“No! Nothing like that,” you reassure him. “It's- it's silly actually.”

“I'm sure it's not,” Seungmin says.

“No, it really is.” You take a deep breath. When you don’t say anything, Seungmin pokes you in the side until you wiggle out of his reach and escape to sit on your bed. “I found out a couple months ago that one of my close friends is a fan.”

“Of Stray Kids?” Seungmin asks, even though he already knows the answer. 

“Yes, but of you, specifically. You're her bias. None of our other friends follow boy groups, so she never mentioned it, but once she found out that I knew Stray Kids, she hasn't been shy about talking about you and the rest of the guys.”

“That must feel weird,” Seungmin says slowly even though his mind is racing. Unlike some of the members, he’s always been particularly private when it comes to his family and he’s pretty sure that he’s done a pretty good job of protecting their identities so far. “She doesn't know that I’m-”

“No! Of course not, I would never tell them without giving you a heads up first. It's just- it's strange hearing all about your life from somebody who doesn't actually know you,” you admit. “Whenever we chat, she gives me updates. She talks about when you guys are at the airport, where you're going, what performances you're doing and awards that you've won, what colour everybody's hair is. Seungmin-oppa, she told me about your foot injury before you told us. We're your family and I heard it from my friend? Who doesn't even know you personally?”

“I didn't want you guys to worry,” Seungmin says, guilt pricking his skin. He knows he shouldn't hide the problems that he's dealing with from the family, especially any injuries, but sometimes everybody just feels so far away. Like they're in a different country rather than in the same city. He swallows thickly. “I’m sorry, I should have told you guys sooner. And I’ll work on updating you more on what I’m up to-”

“I didn’t say that to make you feel bad, oppa,” you cut him off. “You don’t have to apologise for being busy with your work and you shouldn’t have rearranged your schedule for us. I know you love being an idol and I think it's amazing that you guys are doing so well. So I understand. You’re busy, that’s unavoidable. I guess it was just that hearing about you all the time made me miss you more. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“And it's not wrong of you to miss me. I miss you too. I won't apologise for being busy, but I know that I can do better at keeping in touch with you guys. It's just easy to get swept away in everything.”

“Yeah, I guess I can see how making award winning music and touring the world might make it difficult to remember to keep in touch with your little old family,” you tease.

“Don't say it like that,” Seungmin groans, cheeks turning pink.

“What?? These days I have to listen to one of my closest friends gush about how great of a singer you are or how well you did in this or that performance. It's kind of weird but… I'm also proud of you. Who knew my lame older brother would grow up to be so cool?”

“Lame older brother, huh?” Seungmin scoffs. “That's not what you're going to be saying when you're begging me to get you and your friend free tickets to our next concert.”

“And what? How could I explain to her how I got them?” you ask.

“Well,” Seungmin pauses for a moment, studying you carefully. “If you really trust her, I mean you could tell her about me. If you think that she wouldn't tell anyone else.”

“Really?” You gape at him. “Are you sure?”

“I trust your judgement.” Seungmin shrugs. “Plus, if what you say is true, I want to make sure that one of my biggest fans is guaranteed good seats.”

“Ugh, oppa!” You slap Seungmin's shoulder. “I just know I'm going to regret telling you about her.”

“Who knew you had such good taste in friends?” Seungmin laughs.

“Oh there is no way that I'm ever introducing her to you, we don't need your head getting any bigger than it already is.”

“Sure, sure,” Seungmin says good-naturedly. “But I'll make sure to save the two of you some tickets and passes for the next show, just remind me, okay?”

He stands up and ruffles your hair, ignoring your indignant squawk of complaint. Before pulling away, he draws you into another tight hug.

“Thanks, oppa,” you say quietly.

“It's not a problem,” Seungmin replies.

read it on ao3 | masterlist

[chahnniesroom]

trust fall (into your arms) | part 2

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: you've never been the jealous type, but when you notice a makeup artist's strange behaviour around chan, you just can't let it go.

word count: 8.6k

tags/warnings: angst, arguments, miscommunication, reader is a producer at jype, jealousy, implied infidelity, happy ending

a/n: thank you everyone for patiently waiting for pt 2!! i hope you like it 🥹 sorry in advance if there are any mistakes/typos, i have been sick and kind of rushed finishing this so i didn't proofread it 😅 also yes i drafted this fic so long ago that channie's room was still a thing back then loooool

read it on ao3 | part 1 | masterlist

The day starts off pretty normal.

There’s dance practice in the morning that ends up extending until early afternoon, a quick lunch, then Chan’s off to a solo schedule. Even after he’s done a few of them, he’s still getting used to how quiet and lonely it feels without having other members with him. Individual schedules usually finish faster than group ones and Chan’s glad when things wrap up earlier than expected - there’s nothing he wants more than to spend the rest of the night with you.

When Chan finishes getting changed and cleaning off his makeup, a manager approaches him.

“Chan-ssi, I just spoke to your driver and he’s going to be a bit delayed. There’s a bad accident on the highway here and he’s stuck in the traffic,” the manager says. 

“Ah, how long will it be?” Chan asks, bracing himself.

“Not too long, maybe 30 minutes from now. But if you want, then you can come with one of us, we’re all heading back into the city.”

“It’s fine,” Chan says quickly. “If the driver’s already on his way here, then I can wait a little bit.”

The location of the shoot is on the outskirts of Seoul and even without the traffic, it had taken over an hour to make it earlier in the day. Chan doesn’t want to waste the driver’s time and inconvenience the staff just because he wants to get home a little bit faster.

“If you’re sure,” the manager confirms.

“Yeah, as long as I can stay here, I have my laptop so I can just work on something until the driver arrives.”

“Great,” the manager says, sounding relieved. “Really sorry that you will have to wait, but thank you for your patience.”

“It’s no problem,” Chan promises.

As the rest of the staff continue to clean up, Chan keeps himself busy by pulling up the latest song that he’s been working on. Luckily there’s a small table near the entrance of the building so that he’ll be able to see when the driver arrives.

Since the schedule was just a photoshoot, things are cleaned up pretty quickly and it’s not long until the building is quiet except for the sound of Chan’s fingers against his keyboard.

That is, until he hears footsteps coming from the second floor. He’s not worried, the building is small enough that there’s only one staircase up which means it can’t be a sasaeng, just surprised that there’s someone else still around.

He goes back to work, content to just let the staff leave without a conversation, but gets interrupted when that person suddenly calls out.

“Oh! Chan-ssi! I didn’t know you’d still be here.”

There’s no mistaking the high pitched tone of Harang’s voice. Chan tries (and fails) to not roll his eyes at the fake surprise that colours her voice and continues staring at his laptop. He’s wearing headphones, so he can pretend that he just didn’t hear her.

Honestly, Chan has never really cared for Harang. There’s no denying that she’s a talented makeup artist, the only reason that he puts up with her, but her entitled attitude and blatant flirting make her annoying to deal with. It’s not enough that he can make a formal complaint, he knows she’d be the type to go straight to the tabloids if he did, but after your comment about her behaviour, he’s let management know that he’d prefer if Harang was not one of the artists assigned to the group. Today, it turned out that she was the only makeup artist available for this last minute shoot.

He winces just thinking about you. He knows that he didn’t handle the conversations that you’ve had with Harang well but it hurt his pride and he couldn’t help but turn defensive at the idea that he would even be tempted to cheat on you, much less with someone like Harang.

Chan watches out of the corner of his eye as Harang descends the stairs. He’s hoping that she gets the hint and just leaves immediately, even though he knows the chance of him winning the lottery would be higher. From where he’s sitting, he can see that Harang is carrying a huge case of what is probably makeup and if it were anyone else, he would have jumped up to help them already.

And maybe he should have, because at that moment, Harang disappears from Chan’s sight in a flurry of movement, followed by a loud crash and scream.

Chan abandons his ruse and rushes over to find Harang lying at the base of the stairs, clutching one of her legs and crying hysterically.

“Are you okay? What happened?” Chan asks frantically.

“It hurts,” Harang gasps. “It hurts so much.”

“Where does it hurt? Should we call an ambulance?”

“My ankle.” Harang is crying so hard that Chan can barely understand what she says.

“Okay, just- let's take a deep breath, can you do that for me? In and out, nice and slow.”

It takes a bit of coaching, but Chan manages to calm Harang down slightly. Tears continue to roll down her cheeks, but she’s no longer inconsolable.

“Do I need to call an ambulance?” Chan asks a second time.

“No,” Harang says in between deep, shuddering breaths. “I- it hurts a lot, but if I can find someone to drive me to the hospital then it should be fine…”

“You don’t have a ride?” he asks even though he already knows the answer.

“No,” Harang pouts. “I was planning to take a bus or taxi home, but now I don’t know if I can.”

“I’ll call a manager,” Chan says. “They might not be that far away.”

“It’s fine, you don’t-” Harang starts to say, but Chan’s already dialling.

“Hey, how far away are you?” he asks when the call connects through.

“Is something wrong?” the manager asks, sounding alarmed. “Do you need us to come back? Let me see, with the traffic, we can be back- oh it’s going to be at least 50 minutes. Did something happen with your driver? I thought he should be showing up soon-”

“I’m fine,” Chan says, before the manager spirals even more. “One of the makeup artists is here, but she hurt herself. It’s not serious, but she needs a ride to the hospital.”

“I don’t think we can turn back now, Chan-ssi,” the manager says, sounding apologetic, but no longer ready to drop everything now that it’s not directly involving Chan. “Get her to call the lead stylist and see if there’s something they can do for her, but this isn’t something that you have to worry about. If it’s bad, call an ambulance, otherwise she can just get a taxi.”

“Right, thanks.” Is all that Chan is able to say before the call ends.

“They can’t come, right?” Harang guesses when Chan lowers his phone.

“No,” he admits. “Can you call your supervisor? They might be able to come around and pick you up.”

Harang begrudgingly calls, but it's not long until she confirms that the rest of her team isn't willing or able to pick her up.

Chan hovers around her, not wanting to touch her, but concerned that her ankle could be broken. Luckily, at that moment he notices a flash of movement outside. 

“That’s my driver, let me go talk to him quickly so he can help,” he says, before leaving behind a sniffling Harang.

Chan quickly explains the situation to the driver and asks him to go take a look at Harang, before walking to the nearest convenience store. He buys a couple cups of ice, then heads back.

When he returns, the driver has taken off Harang's shoe and is propping her leg up so that her ankle is elevated. It hasn't been long, but it already looks swollen and red.

Chan and the driver decide to take Harang to the hospital themselves, there's one not too far away and although he's wary of spending time alone with Harang after you expressed your concerns about her, he doesn’t know what else to do. If she is actually seriously injured then he would feel so guilty about not helping, especially since there’s nobody else around.

He'd prefer to keep his distance from Harang, but still helps to bring her to the car. The driver initially tried to hoist her up, but she had crumpled like a tissue the second that her bad leg had touched the floor, bringing the driver down with her.

They lead her to the backseat of the car and make sure she's settled, then Chan moves to sit shotgun. As they drive over, Chan pulls out his phone and shoots you a quick text that he has to work late. He keeps things vague and avoids all mention of Harang, not wanting you to worry.

They don't have to wait too long at the hospital, in fact there's only a couple people in line ahead of them. It's good news, the faster the better, but Chan was selfishly hoping that the expected wait time would be long enough that he could excuse himself and ask to be driven home first.

Once Harang is finished and has the good news that her ankle is just twisted and not sprained or broken, it's surprisingly late. The sun has set and Chan is starving. He hasn't eaten since lunchtime and he knows both Harang and his driver have been out way longer than they were expecting to, not even counting the hour-long drive back into the city.

When he brings up going to a restaurant to have a quick dinner, both the others agree immediately and the three of them settle on a place that's not too far from the hospital. The meal is a little bit awkward, but everyone eats fast enough that it's over fast enough.

Chan ends up asking to be dropped off at the company. It’s late and there’s still something he’s hoping to get finished before the schedule the next morning. After working until everything on his screen starts to blur together, he crashes on the couch for a couple hours of sleep.

The alarm that he set jolts him awake the next morning and he grabs a bag of toiletries that he keeps in his studio for nights like these to freshen up. He knows they’re going to do hair and makeup so there’s not much to do other than brush his teeth and wash his face.

When Chan slumps into one of the company rooms that have been reserved and drops off his bag on the side, it’s still early enough that he's beaten the rest of the members here. He pulls out his laptop and resumes his work until the door opens.

A sharp wolf-whistle pierces through the air when Jisung spots him and Changbin sits beside him and slings a heavy arm around his shoulders.

“Hyung!! You look like you didn’t sleep at all! Did Y/n keep you up late last night?” Changbin asks suggestively. 

Chan stares at him blankly.

“What are you talking about?” 

“Don’t try to play dumb. Come on! You can tell us allll the details,” Jisung chimes in.

“No, we do NOT want details!” Seungmin yells from the side. When Chan looks over, the rest of the boys are split between trying to hold back their laughter or looking vaguely ill at the idea.

“No, seriously. What are you guys talking about?” Chan asks, starting to get irritated by being left out of whatever they seem to be referencing. “I was here last night. Finishing up a bit of work."

The smiles fade from the members faces as realisation that Chan isn’t just joking with them starts to hit.

“What do you mean, hyung?” Changbin asks.

“What do you mean, what do I mean? I was at my studio, why’s that such a surprise?” Chan says, dread starting to creep into his stomach.

“Did you talk to Y/n yesterday?” Felix asks hesitantly.

“Kind of, I texted her that I’d be working late.”

“And she didn’t say anything?”

“She was fine with it. Why? What-” Chan freezes.

No. There’s no way that Chan forgot. 

He’d spent days planning an evening out for you, pulling strings to get a private booth at a fancy restaurant you had mentioned wanting to try, ordering flowers to give to you, and picking out a bracelet that he thought you would like.

He had wanted to make up for how busy he’d been lately and make sure that you felt cherished.

“I have to- I gotta go talk to her,” Chan says, heading to the door.

“Hyung, we have a schedule-”

“I’ll be quick, I promise,” Chan says. “I just- I have to explain.”

Chan runs.

When he finally makes it to your studio and knocks, it takes a moment before you open the door. Your face settles into an unusual, flat expression the second you see Chan. 

“Y/n,” Chan says immediately, trying to hide the fact that he's panting slightly. “I'm so so sorry about yesterday-”

“Now is not a good time,” you interrupt. “Sorry, let’s talk later.”

“I promise, I’ll be quick, I just want to explain-”

“Oppa, I’m working right now-”

“Y/nnie, is everything okay?” a voice from inside your studio calls out. 

“Everything is fine, Yeji-yah,” you turn back to reply. The door swings open a bit wider as you do so, allowing Chan to see that all of Itzy is crowded in the small room. 

“Oh, hi,” Chan says. The girls all greet him back, looking interested in his sudden appearance. He can tell by the way that his ears and neck are burning that they must be flushed red from the idea of being overheard. “Sorry for interrupting, I- I’ll talk to you later, okay Y/n-ah? Let me know when you’re done and I’ll come by. Please.”

“I’ll try,” you say unconvincingly. “Today’s a bit busy.”

“Tonight? Tomorrow? Just- even if it’s for a few minutes.”

“I’ll let you know.” Chan knows by the tone of your voice that you’re setting a boundary. If he keeps pushing, it’ll just be pushing you further away from him, the opposite of what he wants to achieve.

“Okay,” he says, backing off. “Okay, I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I love you,” Chan says, leaning in so that he won’t be overheard. “And I’m sorry.”

“I have to go,” you say looking away. “Sorry.”

The cold shoulder, how uncomfortable you look, it’s what he deserves, Chan thinks. He knows that you’re upset that he forgot about your date, he would have been too if the roles were reversed. A small pit, roiling with guilt, forms in his stomach.

—

Thankfully, you don’t make Chan wait too long. The next evening, when Chan is shoulders deep into reviewing edits for a song that they want to use on the next comeback, there’s a slight knock on the door before you let yourself in.

“Hey,” you say quietly from the doorway. Even though you only said one word, there's something in the tone of your voice that causes alarm bells to ring in Chan's head. 

“Hey,” Chan echoes back cautiously.

Chan opens his mouth to explain everything - how his driver was late, Harang injuring herself, having to take her to the doctor, spending the night at the company - but you speak first.

“I was just thinking… I think that maybe we should take a break,” you say in a wavering voice.

“A break?” Chan repeats in disbelief. He doesn’t know where this is coming from. 

Yes, he feels absolutely terrible that he forgot your date, but it doesn’t seem like cause for this kind of reaction. In the past, you’ve always been the one who was less enthusiastic about going out on actual dates, always insisting that you didn’t care much about doing anything special.

He also knows that he didn’t handle the whole Harang thing well. You were right to bring up her attitude to him and he should have done a better job in validating your concerns. Instead, he had hurried to try and reassure you that he really didn’t care about her, but it seemed to have backfired. Even worse, his stupid pride had gotten him annoyed when you didn’t believe that there was nothing going on between him and Harang.

But surely that was something they could just talk out, wasn’t it?

“Just some time off. It’ll be good for us,” you continue. “You've been busy lately and I've been busy too, so it's good timing.”

“But… why?” 

“I don’t want to be a bother or a… distraction for you at work.”

“You’re not!”

“Just the other day, you left right before a schedule to come talk to me. How is that not being a distraction? It’s not fair to you or to the rest of the members.”

“That was my choice, it was fine! It wasn’t your fault at all, that was all me.”

“And it was a little awkward that you interrupted me when I was working. I didn't know how to explain it to the girls, I hate lying to them.”

“That was- I'm sorry, that was also on me. I'll be more careful next time, I won't drop by without notice,” Chan promises.

“I just think we need some space.”

“Do you really want this?” he asks in a low voice.

“I want you to be happy.” You give him a watery smile. “And it’s okay if I’m not the one that can make you happy.”

“But- Woah wait, where’s this coming from? What are you talking about? Y/n, you’re the one that makes me happy, it’s always been you. Is this still about the date? I said I was sorry, I promise I really had things planned out and I’ll make it up to you-”

“Chan, it’s not about the date. You know me, I don’t need much. I don’t care about going to fancy restaurants or if you buy me expensive gifts-”

“Then what? I don't get it, I know that I’ve been busy, but I’m trying-” Chan pleads.

“I just need to know that I’m with someone who actually wants to be with me,” you say firmly. As if that explains everything.

“I do! What do you mean? Of course I want to be with you-”

“I know you were out with Harang,” you say. “That night that you cancelled our date.”

“What?” Chan’s mind races, trying put together the pieces of why you think it's such a big deal or how you even know it happened in the first place. “How did you find out about that?”

Which is clearly the wrong thing to say based on the way that your face falls.

“So it's true? You were out with her that night?” you ask in a voice that's all hollowed out. You turn away from him slightly. “I was hoping-”

“No, I can explain that, really! It wasn’t what it looked like, I can explain-”

Chan reaches out to take hold of your hand, but you just shake him off. 

“I just need some time. To think about everything,” you say. “I'll see you around, okay?”

You lean forward, cup Chan’s cheek with your hand and place a gentle kiss onto his forehead. Before Chan can say another word, you’ve pulled away and are out the door.

—

Things don't get better after that. Chan gives you space and time like you've asked, but it feels like there's a gaping hole in his life that can only be filled by you.

It’s been a while since Chan has been in such a dark mood and at first, the rest of the members tiptoe around him, not wanting to set off his temper. They know that Chan just gets like that sometimes, whether it's homesickness, burnout, pressure from the company, or a combination of things, they all understand and know that he wants to work it out on his own. But after a few days of brooding, they start to ask questions, pushing a little to try and get Chan to open up more.

Chan doesn’t tell them anything. Even thinking about you is painful enough, he doesn’t want to talk about it with anybody else. Instead, he tries to take all those emotions and memories and lock them up for later. He spends all his time in the studio, either staring dully at his laptop or making garbage tracks that he knows are unusable.

It only takes four days before Changbin gets fed up with Chan. 

The tipping point is when Chan, in a brilliant stroke of stupidity, accidentally deletes the demo that they just spent two hours making and they aren’t able to recover it. Changbin calls IT, asks them if they can find the lost file somewhere in the server, then bullies Chan into going back to Changbin’s dorm with him under the pretense that they're going to eat dinner even though both of them know it's not true. Chan has known Changbin long enough to know an intervention when he sees it.

“So? What’s going on?” Changbin asks once the two of them have sat down in Changbin's living room.

“Would you believe me if I said nothing?” Chan tries, already knowing that Changbin isn't going to let him off this easily.

“Hyung,” Changbin says flatly.

“Okay, sure, I’ve been a little down lately-”

“You snapped at Innie the other day,” Changbin says, holding up his index finger. “Even though he was just checking up on you since you stayed late at the company the night before.”

Chan winces at that memory. He had apologised later, but he could tell that it had shaken Jeongin in the moment.

“Okay, that was pretty bad-” Chan starts to say.

“Felix said that the two of you had an argument recently,” Changbin continues, lifting another finger. “Because he drank your water? When has sharing water ever been something you ever cared about?”

“It wasn’t about the water-”

“Today, you completely disregarded Jisung’s suggestion when we were reviewing lyrics, I think he was right by the way,” Changbin steamrolls ahead while raising a third finger. “You’ve been spending crazy hours in the studio, but it’s not even because we have a deadline soon and I know you haven't actually been making any new tracks so clearly your studio time hasn't been very productive. Oh, and I saw that you’ve only been listening to your ‘sad love songs to make you cry when you're feeling lonely’ playlist lately when I borrowed your laptop for a second earlier.”

“Okay! Okay, I get it,” Chan admits. “I’ve been miserable and taking it out on everybody else. I’m sorry. I’ll- I’ll talk to Jeongin and Felix and Jisung and everyone and apologise. I'll do better.”

“Chan-hyung.” Changbin’s voice softens and he takes Chan’s hands in his own. “We’re concerned about you. That’s all. We're not mad.”

“Thanks,” Chan says, even though he knows he doesn't deserve such easy forgiveness. “I really am sorry. It's just been- it's been tough.” 

“Don’t go isolating yourself. Don't do this on your own. Whatever ‘this’ is. Let us in. Or if you don’t want to talk to us, talk to Y/n-ah about it.”

“I-” Chan looks away. The ever-present knot in his chest twinges painfully hearing your name. “I haven’t seen- We’re not talking right now.”

“You guys broke up?” Hyunjin asks in disbelief, popping his head out from where he must have been listening in from his room. Chan hadn’t even realised that Hyunjin was home.

“No! We didn’t break up! We’re just… On a break,” Chan says lamely, knowing how dumb it sounds.

“Hyung-” Changbin says with a voice filled with pity.

“I know.” Chan buries his head in his hands. “But it’s just temporary. She just- we just need some time.”

“So that's been-”

“Yeah,” Chan groans. “Now you know. That's why I've been all…”

“Miserable? Irritable? Depressed? Short-tempered?” Hyunjin suggests unhelpfully. He's given up pretending that he doesn't want to be part of the conversation and has joined Chan and Changbin on the couch.

“I was going to say moody, but yeah I guess all of the above,” Chan concedes. “I’m sorry.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Changbin offers kindly. 

“Not really,” Chan says truthfully. “But I probably should.”

“We're not going to judge you, we're just here to listen to what you have to say, and if you want, we can give advice,” Changbin says.

“Speak for yourself, I'm just going to say what's on my mind, because I know that Channie-hyung can take it,” Hyunjin chimes in. “If this is a scenario like one of his trash songs-”

“Hyunjin-ah,” Changbin scolds lightly. “Just let him talk.”

Hyunjin grumbles a little bit, but settles down.

Chan wants to start from the beginning, but realises that he's not exactly sure how this all originated, so he summarizes his last conversation with you and traces his way back. Along the way, Changbin and Hyunjin ask a few questions and it ends up taking almost half an hour to explain everything. Even though they don't say anything, Chan can tell that whatever it is that they were expecting, it was not this.

“Hyung,” Hyunjin says after a moment of silence once Chan is finished. “With all due respect, are you stupid?”

“Hyunjin!” Changbin reaches over to smack Hyunjin on the arm, ignoring when he clutches his arm.

“I- I guess?” Chan says helplessly. “Is it that obvious to you what went wrong? I just feel like it's so messy and-”

“Yeah, of course it's messy! You made it messy! You said you don't know what you should do, well I'm about to go and beat up Harang myself! You're going to let her get away with ruining your relationship?!?” Hyunjin asks, aghast. “Does Y/n mean nothing to you? You’re not going to fight for her?”

“No- just- I didn’t want to push her,” Chan stammers. 

“Did you even look up Harang’s Instagram?” Hyunjin asks. “Did you tell Harang to stop? Did you talk to management about the fact that she might be breaching the NDA in her contract? Because it sounds to me like Y/n was justifiably angry with you and if I were her, I would have done a lot worse than ask for a break.”

“I meant to look it up, but just never got around to it. And I did tell management that I didn't want to work with Harang anymore, I never told Y/n about it though, I didn't want her to worry about it and plus, Harang never actually did anything-”

“It's not about the fact that she never did anything that crossed a boundary with you! Which she probably did if we can believe what Y/n said about those pictures, which I do believe. The problem is that you didn't take Y/n seriously enough to even see if what she told you was true!”

“Is it really that bad?” Chan asks sheepishly. “It's not that I didn't want to believe her but-”

“Are you listening to yourself?!” Hyunjin asks.

Chan glances over to check Changbin's reaction to all of this, but he just shrugs helplessly.

“I hate to say it, but he's right,” Changbin says, nodding in Hyunjin's direction. “It sounds like Y/n is more likely just hurt that you didn't take her seriously when she brought up legitimate concerns. And if you think about it from her perspective, it really does seem like you ditched your date to hang out with Harang, even if we know that's not what actually happened.”

Chan buries his head in his hands and groans.

“I really did everything wrong, didn't I,” he says into his hands. 

“It's-” Changbin sighs, clearly trying to find the right way to word his thoughts. “It's a complicated situation, but what matters most is-”

“Hyung,” Hyunjin interrupts in a strangled voice. Chan and Changbin instantly turn to where he's staring at his phone, face drained of all colour. “Hyung, you have to see these.”

They flip through the pictures that Hyunjin has found in silence. Each one that they see makes it disturbingly obvious that you were correct and Harang has been posting pictures with and of Chan. The only good thing, if you can even call it that, is that all the pictures seem to have been taken at the company or schedule that she was working at. It's just a small relief that she hasn't gone so far as to stalk him in his personal life. 

Still, Chan doesn't remember a single of these pictures being taken - he surely would have called her out if he had - but in some of them it even looks like he's deliberately posing with Harang. He's not sure if they've been edited, modified with AI, or if Harang has just been extremely strategic in her photography. Either way, the pictures look incredibly realistic.

Chan feels sick.

He can't imagine just how terrible it must have been for you to see these, to have had Harang taunt you with these posts. How heart-breaking it must have been when he had assumed that Harang wouldn't dare risk her career just for some internet fame.

Honestly, it's amazing that you even bothered to speak to him at all after seeing the last photos that Harang posted.

Changbin and Hyunjin don't say anything when they see the story highlight, the one from that night. They don't have to because they're all thinking the same thing.

It's now incredibly obvious why you're avoiding Chan, why you've asked for this break.

You think that Chan cheated on you.

—

It almost kills Chan to have to wait until the next morning to have to head to the company. There's nothing he wants more than to just go straight to you and beg you to forgive him, but there's something he has to do before that.

Chan's not sure what Harang's schedule is, but he just heads up to the floor where all the stylists and makeup artists work, hoping that she'll be there. By some stroke of luck, he hears her voice coming through the open door of one of the rooms. Hearing his name, he waits outside, curious what she's saying when she doesn't know he's listening. 

“It’s okay, I can tell that they’re going to break up soon anyway,” Harang says in that obnoxious, arrogant tone that she always has. “We’re going to be such a power couple, Y/n is way too plain for him.”

Chan freezes in place. He agreed with your suspicions that Harang liked him, but he didn’t think that she was actually delusional enough to believe that he would choose her over you.

“Don’t you think it would have been a good idea to wait-” At least whoever Harang is talking to sounds more reasonable, but Harang doesn't seem to care to hear them out.

“Listen,” Harang says impatiently. “Chan’s an adult and can do whatever he wants. If he chooses to spend his time with me instead of her, he’s allowed to do that. I can’t force him to spend time with her, it’s obvious that he’s just in that relationship because he feels bad for her or it’s convenient or something.”

“Really? I thought-”

“Oh come on, if he really liked her then he wouldn’t try so hard to hide their relationship. And she’s so desperate to stay with him, can you believe she actually approached me and asked me to take down some of my Instagram posts? She spouted all this garbage about professionalism and company policy, but I know that she’s just jealous because he probably doesn’t let her post anything with him in it. I mean, how insecure do you have to be to try to control the pictures that your boyfriend is in? It’s like she doesn’t know he’s a celebrity. I really don’t understand what he sees in her.”

Chan sees red.

He bursts into the room, uncaring of who else might be around to see it.

“How dare you!” Chan says, so angry that he’s almost at a loss for words.

Harang stares at him in shock before she remembers to pretend to be innocent.

“Chan-ssi, what- what are you doing here?” she stammers.

“Don't play stupid, I could hear you from down the hall. Did you really think that the company or I wouldn't find out? That you'd be able to get away with it?”

“Huh?” She blinks up at Chan with huge, confused eyes. “What do you mean? What are you talking about?”

“You know exactly what I'm talking about. The pictures, the comments, really, I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt but after you posted so many? Did you stage the fall too?” Chan demands, looking at the way that Harang seems to be standing without favouring any of her ankles.

Harang immediately bursts into tears. Chan can see now that it's the exact same over-the-top reaction as when she had fallen down the stairs.

“I’m sorry! Please don’t be mad,” she cries. “It was just for fun and I didn’t think that anybody would notice. I just posted the first picture and didn’t even know you were in the background and when someone commented on it, I didn’t know what to say! My boyfriend had just broken up with me and- and- I’m really really sorry!”

Chan pinches the bridge of his nose at her reaction and sucks in a deep breath to try and control his emotions. He’s not fooled by her pathetic attempts to gain sympathy and the fact that she’s trying to play innocent is just annoying him even more. Still, regardless of the reasoning behind it, he doesn’t want to be the type of person to yell at a crying girl.

“Just, delete them. And post something to clarify that you’re not actually dating me or anybody at that,” he says stiffly.

“What?” she sniffs, peering up at him with wide teary eyes. “I can reply to the comments and say that we’re not together, but do I have to get rid of them? They’re nice pictures! And they don’t really show any of your features, nobody can confirm that it’s you, it’s all rumours.”

Chan drops the politeness from his voice. He doesn’t have it in him to pretend to care about her feelings anymore and her whining voice is irritating him.

“Harang. You can delete the photos now or I can call Dohyun and you can explain the situation to him.” All the blood instantly drains from her face at the mention of her manager. Chan has already booked a meeting with the company this afternoon, he has no intention of keeping management unaware of what Harang has done, but she doesn’t have to know that.

“No, no! I can- I can delete them,” she says, pulling out her phone and unlocking it with shaky fingers. When she opens up her profile and hesitates to click on a photo, Chan reaches and plucks the phone from her hands. 

He systematically deletes each picture that he’s in before moving on to her gallery. He’s prepared a little thumb drive that he connects to Harang’s phone and transfers over any pictures that he’s in, disinterested in the hiccuping noises that Harang makes beside him. It’s alarming, the number of times she's managed to capture him unaware, way more than what she's posted. 

When Chan gives Harang her phone back and she finally leaves the room, Chan immediately calls her manager and explains the situation. It’s not just the fact that she’s interfering with his personal life. Having photos of him, of any of the idols, and posting them on social media is strictly against whatever contract she must have with JYPE and her lack of remorse just makes her a liability.

Chan spends the rest of the morning with JYPE's legal team. What Harang did is not just a contract violation since it directly affected Chan. He's not sure how exactly they're going to press charges, but he follows along with whatever the lawyers recommend, dutifully signing all the paperwork to make sure that Harang will be properly prosecuted and punished.

That afternoon, he texts you for the first time since your fight.

[Sent - 2:07 pm]

Hey

Can we talk?

I understand if you don't want to

I didn't know about the pictures

I'm sorry, I should have taken you seriously when you brought it up

But it's all gone now. Everything.

I talked to management too

They terminated her contract and we're pursuing legal action - both the company and I

I'm not sure how the lawsuits are going to work out, but I promise I won't let this slide

I'm just really sorry

And he waits. You're a better person than he is because he's shocked when his phone vibrates only a few hours later.

[Received - 5:24 pm]

You can come by my studio tomorrow at 2pm

There's nothing else, no mention of how you're doing, what you think of everything, but it's more than Chan deserves and way more generous than he expected.

Chan's nervous for the rest of the day and the whole morning of the day after. He knows that this is his only chance to win you back and he's determined to prove how much you mean to him. He gets scolded continuously for not paying attention during dance practice, but all the members know by now what's going on and go easy on him.

The time passes both too slowly and too quickly, before he knows it, Chan's standing in front of your studio door. His hand is shaking as he lifts it to knock.

When you open the door, Chan feels his heart drop at your appearance. It's been a week since he's seen you, the longest the two of you have gone outside of when he's been away on tour. It's obvious that you haven't been doing well, you're well put together, but you've lost weight and your eyes have lost their spark.

You look fragile.

And Chan knows he's the reason.

“Hi,” he says quietly, offering you a small smile and the package that he's prepared. It's small, but heartfelt, filled with all your favourite things and the bracelet that he was supposed to give you, all those days ago.

“Hi,” you reply in a careful voice. You take the gift, open the door a little wider, but don't return the smile. “Come in.”

Chan watches as you make your way over to your desk and sit in your chair instead of the couch that you usually prefer. Not knowing how long you want him to stay, he lingers near the door.

“You can stop me at any time, but I really just wanted to say that I'm sorry,” Chan blurts out. “I'm so so sorry for what I did and I'm even more sorry for what I didn't do. I'm sorry that I didn't take your concerns seriously. I'm sorry that I neglected our relationship. I'm sorry that I didn't believe you, that I hurt you, that I broke your trust. I promise that I will do anything and everything to make things right again. If you let me, that is.”

Chan takes a deep breath and when he looks at you, you have your head tilted in consideration. You nod, encouraging Chan to continue. It's not much, but it's enough to give Chan the courage he needs to continue.

“I wanted to clarify that I never ever ever even thought about cheating on you. Nothing ever happened between Harang and I, and nothing ever will. She hurt herself and I was the only one that was still there, but all that happened was I got my driver to drive her to the hospital and the three of us ate dinner together because it was late and we were far from the city. I had completely forgotten about our date, which I'm so sorry about. I never- I couldn't have imagined that she could or would make it seem like I was choosing her over you. And I don't want to say it as an excuse, especially because you warned me, but I had no idea that she was so so delusional and that she was actually plotting against us. I should have been more careful, but I really didn't know-”

“I believe you,” you interrupt softly.

“I- what?” Chan asks, not sure if he can believe what he thought he heard you say.

“I said I believe you,” you repeat. “I- I won't lie, it really hurt, when I saw that post she made, the times that you defended her, forgetting about our date. And I think it's going to take a while to build back that trust, I still need some time. But-” You giggle and it's the most beautiful sound Chan has ever heard. “She's kind of insane, isn't she?”

“She's actually crazy! It was kind of scary” Chan admits lightly. “Finding out that she actually thought that her posts and the way that she was acting would get me to fall for her. I can't believe I ever thought that she was harmless.”

“I appreciate it,” you say. “That you didn't hesitate to do something when you finally found out. I feel a lot better knowing that she's not going to be working with you or any of the guys anymore.”

“I just wish that I had known earlier, I can't believe that I was so stupid to not listen to you or look into it,” Chan says. “And the company is doing further investigations, I think they're going to be a lot more strict with staff and their social media going forward.”

“That's good,” you hum. 

“Is there anything else?” Chan asks hesitantly. “Anything else that's bothering you, that you think we should talk about?”

You press your lips together and look away.

“Hey, you can tell me anything, okay? I promise that I won't let you down again. If it's something that I can't do this very second, we can talk about it, work it out.”

“It's just hard, sometimes,” you start hesitantly. “And I understand, of course, don't get me wrong, I know why we have to but. I don't know, part of the reason I hated those Instagram posts so much was because I was jealous. I wanted to be the one posting pictures with you. I even would have settled with being able to publicly refute her claims of being your girlfriend.”

“Yeah, no, I get it,” Chan says. “I thought I'd be satisfied with just being with you, but it's really difficult, not being allowed to show you off. Having to do all the fanservice, I mean with the members it's whatever, but when it's with the fans? It just feels wrong.”

“And I know there's nothing that you can do. I know that we're keeping it a secret because it protects us, both of us, but-”

“It doesn't make it easier,” Chan finishes for you. “Even though we both agreed, even though it's for the better, it doesn't mean we have to like it.”

“So what do we do?”

“Would you actually want it? To go public?” Chan asks. “If you've thought about it and are serious about it… I'll talk to the company, see what I can do.”

“I've thought about it,” you say slowly. “Does the idea of having my identity revealed scare me? Yes and no offense, but your fans are crazy. But I think I still want it. For everyone to know about… us.”

Chan can't stop the smile that grows hearing you say that. Before today, he hadn't been sure if there'd still be an 'us' for people to know about.

“Okay, I'll talk to them,” Chan promises.

You open your mouth to say something, when an alarm on your phone goes off.

“I- I have a meeting soon,” you explain.

“I understand,” Chan says. “I won't keep you.”

“Thanks,” you nod.

“And- thank you,” Chan says as he leaves. “For giving me another chance.”

—

The next day, Chan talks to a manager about it. Then he talks to his manager's manager about it. Then he talks to his manager's manager's manager about it. Once he's talked to just about every manager within Division 1, he talks to JYP himself.

And they all say the same thing.

No.

Absolutely not.

It's too risky, it's not safe, it's not good for the group, it's not good for the next comeback, it's not good for their upcoming tour, there's nothing positive that can come from it.

Chan is forbidden from even thinking of giving the slightest hint to anybody at all that he's dating.

So Chan does what he always does in these situations. What he always encourages the boys to do when they're faced with this kind of dilemma.

He takes matters into his own hands.

—

Finally, it’s the weekend. 

Chan skipped going live last week, he was not in good condition after his conversation with you and it would have been obvious, but this week he has a plan.

He logs on and greets everybody, apologising for the long time in between lives and explaining that he's been very busy with schedules and other things lately. He hadn’t realised it, but apparently fans had found out about the lawsuit against Harang and although details haven’t been released, they know that a staff member was involved. The chat is a flurry of questions and comments about it, but Chan makes sure to avoid the topic for now.

He spends a while just playing music and reading the chat. After a while, he spots an interesting comment that he decides to read out loud.

“I want to be in a relationship, but I’m scared that my parents won’t approve of the person that I like. What should I do?”

He leans back in his chair, propping his elbows on the armrests and steepling his fingers together.

“Now see, this is a tough situation. Like if you’re in a relationship with someone, then your friends and family should try to respect that relationship. Of course, there are times when once they get to know that person, they might have a legitimate concern about your physical or emotional safety, but that’s different. If your friends and family are judging your partner, just based on things like their appearance or other surface level things, then that's not fair."

It's not the first time that Chan has provided this kind of advice on stream, he knows he has to be careful about what he says because it's going to be captured and reposted everywhere.

"I think that respect is a basic thing that we should be providing to other people. I know it can be easy to think you know a lot about a person or about a relationship just from what you've seen, but at the end of the day, we should be able to trust that the two people in a relationship know what they're doing. Even if we think we're doing the right thing, it can get very messy very quickly.”

Chan stops for a moment to prepare himself for what he's about to say next.

“But Stays, you wouldn’t do that, right?” Chan leans forwards and stares directly into the camera for a long moment, before going back to look at the chat.

The comments are flying by, much faster than usual, and range from ‘yes, i hope my parents accept it when i introduce all of skz as my boyfriends’ to the more serious ‘Chan, why does it sound like you’re speaking from personal experience?’ 

“Stays wouldn’t be like that,” he repeats. He takes a deep breath, heart pounding in his chest. “Stays would accept my partner if I ever introduced her to you guys because you would trust that I have enough judgement to know when a relationship is right for me. Stays would be respectful because I really really like her and I want to be with her for a long time. Right?”

The chat goes crazy. 

Even with the settings that Chan has to slow them down, there's so many comments that they don't appear on his screen for more than a fraction of a second before getting replaced. The ones that he does manage to see are mainly indecipherable keysmashes followed by a string of exclamation marks and question marks. But everyone seems to have caught on to the underlying message. 

Chan just revealed that he's in a relationship with someone. 

“It's just that nothing makes me more upset than when somebody, especially somebody that I don't know very well, tries to muck around with my personal life. And even worse if what they do ends up hurting other people in my life. Me? I can take it, but I draw the line at my family and friends who don't deserve it.”

Chan can feel himself getting worked up and has to stop himself, taking a deep breath and shaking his head as he blows it out, not wanting to reveal too much.

“Let’s just say that if someone were to try and get between my partner and I… I wouldn’t take it lightly.”

There, let everyone put together what he means on their own. It shouldn't be too difficult for people to make the right connections, everybody was already wondering about the lawsuit.

Chan's phone starts vibrating and he looks down to see that a manager is calling him. Not exactly a surprise but he was hoping to have a little more time before they found out. He declines the call, only for it to start ringing again immediately, a different staff member trying to get a hold of him. He declines again. When it starts ringing yet again, he almost reflexively declines it before he sees your name.

Smile starting to grow on his face, he doesn't accept the call, but doesn't decline it. Instead, he looks up and thanks Stays, then quickly ends the livestream.

“Hey,” he answers the phone casually. “What's up?”

“Bang Christopher Chan,” you say in a jokingly stern voice. “What did you do!?”

“Just what I should have done a loooong time ago,” Chan replies.

“Aren't you going to get in trouble?” you ask.

“Oh boatloads,” Chan agrees, trying not to sound too happy about it. He's not excited about all the scoldings and meetings and paperwork that are surely to come, but he can't help but be giddy knowing the reason behind it. “They're already calling me non-stop.”

“This was your way of ‘seeing what you can do?’” you ask incredulously, although there's also a hint of laughter in your voice. “You're insane.”

“What can I say? I'm a man of action. I didn't want to wait anymore.” Chan shrugs even though you can't see it.

“This doesn't mean I forgive you for everything that happened,” you warn.

“I never thought that it would,” Chan says honestly. “I know I have a lot of work to do to earn back your trust, but I promise I will never stop.”

“I'm almost at the studio, okay? See you in a second.” 

Is all the warning Chan gets before the call ends. He twirls around in his seat and only has time to double check that the livestream has ended before there's a knock on his door.

This time, when you push open the door to Chan's studio, he's expecting you. His arms are already stretched wide, ready to catch you and hold you close.

read it on ao3 | part 1 | masterlist

[chahnniesroom]

trust fall (into your arms) | part 1

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: you've never been the jealous type, but when you notice a makeup artist's strange behaviour around chan, you just can't let it go.

word count: 3.9k

tags/warnings: angst, arguments, miscommunication, reader is a producer at jype, jealousy, implied infidelity, happy ending (in part 2)

a/n: sorry it has been months since my last post 😅 this fic has been a wip since aug 2023 and i've finally gotten around to finishing part 1! hope it was worth the wait

read it on ao3 | part 2 | masterlist

When Chan first talked to you about keeping your relationship a secret, you had agreed right away. You were a pretty private person anyway and the fact that it wasn’t a complete secret - the members, your families, close friends, and management all knew - helped a lot too.

You know that Chan is mainly worried about crazy fans who might start targeting you, while you’re less concerned about your safety and more focused on how the news would negatively impact his reputation and career as an idol. Both of you know that it would make all the work that you’ve done as a producer for JYPE that has helped with Stray Kids songs seem less professional and more like favouritism.

Although you wish that you didn’t have to hide, pretending to be single has been something that the two of you have struggled with multiple times in the past, you know it's for the best. At least working for the same company has its own perks, such as being able to work together on songs without it being suspicious and the knowledge that most of the time, you're only a few floors away.

So on nights like tonight, when you've ended up working late and most of the other staff have gone home for the day, you can just text Chan to ask if he wants to meet up.

Hey are you still at the company?

[Sent 8:02pm]

[Received 8:04pm]

Yup

You too? It’s so late…

[Sent 8:04pm]

Says you

but yeah, I'm about to leave

[Received 8:06pm]

Come say hi?

I'm getting ready for a schedule

Chan sends you the number of the room that he’s in and you quickly finish packing your things so that you can make your way over. The door is closed when you arrive, but since Chan invited you, you knock and open it yourself.

But there's still a bit of time

What you find inside makes you raise an eyebrow. 

Chan is sitting in a chair with headphones in and eyes closed, he likely didn’t hear you knock. But what surprises you is his makeup artist.

You’re no stranger to the way that the stylists and makeup artists have to be physically close with the idols and you’re pretty comfortable with it since you know it’s strictly professional. But the way that this makeup artist has positioned herself is a little suspicious.

She’s pressed herself as close to Chan as possible and has both hands touching his face as she applies eyeshadow. Her own face is unnecessarily close to Chan’s.

She must realise how questionable it must look because when you clear your throat to try and get their attention, she jumps away immediately, almost poking Chan in the eye with the eyeshadow brush in the process. It causes Chan to notice, and he pulls off his headphones, face brightening once he sees you.

“Hi,” you say awkwardly. “I hope I’m not interrupting.”

“Nope, all good,” Chan reassures you. “Have you two met before? Y/nnie, this is Harang-ssi, one of our makeup artists, she’s here to make me look presentable before my schedule. Harang-ssi, this is Y/n-ah.”

“Nice to meet you, Harang-ssi,” you say, bowing slightly.

“Nice to meet you, too,” Harang echoes politely. As she looks at you, she spots something that makes her eyes widen and her smile a bit more genuine. “Oh, are you also staff?”

“Yeah,” you say slowly, looking down at your lanyard that must have given you away. “I'm a producer with the company.”

For some reason that relaxes Harang even further. Instead of commenting, she steps closer to Chan again, reaching towards him to continue applying makeup. You stare, surprised by her boldness and how oblivious she seems to the way that Chan has started to angle his body away from her, trying to create distance between the two.

“Well?” Harang asks impatiently after you don't say anything else. “Go ahead with whatever you’re here for. Chan-ssi has a schedule soon.”

You stare at Chan, not sure how much he wants to share. To someone observant, he’s already given you away by using a nickname and speaking to you far more casually than he would if you were only a producer. The two of you dating isn’t exactly a secret, but the more people who know, the more likely it might get leaked to the public.

“Uhm,” Chan says, looking at you as if to gauge your expression as he speaks. At the sound of his voice, Harang pulls away from him slightly, clearly surprised that he’s speaking first. “Actually, I wasn’t sure if I should say anything, but Y/nnie isn’t just a producer at JYPE. I asked her to come by because she’s my girlfriend.”

“What?” Harang’s face drops. She looks devastated, although by the time Chan looks away from you, she’s managed to school her face into one of polite surprise and let out a fake giggle. “Oh I didn’t- I didn’t know you were seeing anyone, Chan-ssi.”

“Yeah, that’s good actually! We’re trying to keep it quiet,” Chan explains. “You understand, right? You can’t be too careful these days.”

“Of course,” she agrees immediately. “I won’t tell anyone.”

“Great, thanks.” Chan smiles and Harang’s whole face lights up in response. Before she can say anything else though, Chan turns to where you’re still hovering by the door and reaches a hand out. “Y/nnie, why are you still so far away? Come over here.”

It’s hard to stop the blush that erupts on your face. You think that Chan is so cute when he’s clingy, but you haven’t had any opportunities to get used to PDA so it’s still a little embarrassing. From the corner of your eye, you can see that Harang’s face is puckered like she’s swallowed something really sour. When you get close enough to grab Chan’s hand, he pulls you into his arms. Since he still hasn’t gotten up from his chair, he’s practically buried his face into your stomach.

“Yah!” you laugh. “You’re going to get makeup all over my shirt!”

“Oh sorry.” Chan pops his head back up, blinking at you owlishly. “You’ll forgive me, won’t you?”

“Yes, yes, of course,” you reply, using your free hand to comb through his hair, smiling as Chan leans into your touch. “But I’m not sure if I can say the same for Harang-ssi, you’re ruining her hard work!”

Chan turns away from you, looking surprised when he sees Harang hovering awkwardly at the table where all the makeup is spread out. 

“Ah, you’re still here?” he asks innocently. You wince inwardly, knowing that even though Chan didn’t mean anything by asking, but even to you it sounds passive aggressive.

"Oh sorry, I wouldn’t want to get in the way, I'll just take a quick break and come back in a second!" she says, smiling sickly sweet when Chan thanks her even though it’s obvious that she doesn’t really want to leave.

"That was kind of… awkward," you comment as soon as the door closes behind her, not quite sure what to make of her conflicting behaviour.

"What do you mean?"

"Were you not there? She basically glared at me when you told her that we were together, she clearly did not like me."

"It could be that she was just caught off guard, I mean, I haven't exactly been broadcasting to all of JYPE that I have a girlfriend."

“Yeah and she probably imagined herself as being able to fill that role. She was so touchy!” You don’t want to be a whiny girlfriend, but that doesn’t mean you can’t complain when somebody is showing obvious interests in your boyfriend and he’s doing nothing to stop them.

“Oh, that’s just how she always is.” Chan shrugs. “With the rest of the guys too, we’ve all gotten used to it. Really, she doesn’t mean anything by it.”

“So since she does that to everyone, it’s okay?”

“Y/n-ah, just leave it!” Chan groans. “I didn’t ask you to come by so that we could argue about something stupid.”

“Fine,” you say, a little hurt and uneasy that Chan’s just brushing you off. “If you say so. I guess I just don’t know her that well.”

“I promise she’s a good person. I don't want you wasting your time worrying about her. Now, how was your day?”

“It was good, busy. I didn't mean to stay so long, but I got caught up with something and didn't realise how much time had passed. Actually, I should probably go now,” you say.

“What? But you just got here,” Chan whines. 

“You have a schedule soon,” you remind him gently. “And as you said, it's late. I'm going to head home and eat something.”

“You didn’t eat yet? Y/nnie, you shouldn’t skip meals! Here, I can order you something, what do you want?”

“It’s fine, I’ll just grab something on my way home,” you say. “And you’re one to talk, did you eat dinner yet?”

“As a matter of fact, I did. I tried a new place and it was good!” Chan pauses for a second to take out his phone. “Actually, I think you’d like it, I’ll just get you what I got and you can tell me what you think.”

“Oppa, it’s fine-”

“Too late!” Chan proudly shows you his screen which shows that in just a few seconds, he’s finished placing an order. “It’ll arrive around the time that you get home.”

“Thanks oppa,” you say fondly, kissing the top of his head, then the dimple that forms on his cheek as he smiles. “I hope your schedule goes well and that you don’t have to stay for too long.”

“Text me when you get home, okay?”

“Okay. I'll let you know how the food is.”

You don't stay long after that, quickly saying goodbye before leaving the room. You find Harang waiting in the hallway, typing on her phone. When you let her know that she can go back and apologise for interrupting, she barely acknowledges you, just rolls her eyes and walks past.

You try to not let it bother you, but her two-faced attitude rubs you the wrong way. At least you likely won't have to deal with her again, you only met now after working at the same company for a few years and you're in no hurry to change that.

—

A few days later, you get an instagram notification that someone has requested to follow you. It's unusual because you’re not the type to post much and your account is private, even though you're still careful to avoid any pictures or mentions of Chan or the rest of Stray Kids.

It’s Harang.

Odd, since she definitely gave off the impression that she didn’t like you.

Curious, you click on her profile. It's fairly generic at first glance, a majority of the photos feature her which isn’t much of a surprise. However, one of the most recent pictures catches your eye.

It's a mirror selfie taken in one of the company rooms that the stylists and makeup artists typically use. There's someone in the background and although their face isn't showing, you can tell it's Chan. The picture itself is harmless, Harang could have been a bit more vigilant before posting it, but it could easily be explained away as a mistake. It’s when you see the number of likes and comments compared to her normal posts that has you concerned. 

Opening up the comments just proves that your wariness of Harang wasn’t entirely unfounded. One of the top posts is a comment that says ‘Is that your boyfriend?? you look so cute togetherrr’ to which Harang just replied ‘🤭’. There's another reply that makes your stomach drop ‘isn't that Chan?? he's dating someone????’ 

A number of comments argue about whether or not it’s Chan, if the photo has been edited, and questioning who Harang is. They talk about the clothes the man in the picture is wearing, his posture, height, hair, and compare it to other pictures of Chan.

Scrolling through some older posts, you start to find a pattern of pictures that are similarly suspicious. None of them are completely obvious, the man’s face is always turned away or cropped out, but there’s enough showing for you to recognize it to be Chan and you know that his fans are observant enough to do the same.

"Hey," you say, pulling Chan’s attention away from where he’s playing a game on his phone. "You know that makeup artist I interrupted the other day?"

"Yeah, Harang? What about her?"

"She requested to follow me on Instagram," you say slowly, still trying to figure out how best to word everything. "Did you know?"

"Did I know she sent you a follow request? How would I know that?" he asks incredulously.

"No, more like, did you know about her account."

"Well I'm certainly not surprised that she has one, but no, I haven't looked at it before. Why? What's with the sudden interrogation?"

“I think that she’s been posting photos with you in them,” you say, putting it bluntly.

“With me? Are you sure?”

“Not directly you, but just. It’s like, the side of you or your back or something. But I can tell.”

“All the staff have contracts that prohibit taking pictures with or of us. Y/n, I get that she made you feel a bit uncomfortable that time you met her and I’m sorry, but do you really think she would risk her job like that?”

“Well when you put it like that-” you start to say.

"I know you two maybe got off on the wrong foot, but Harang is really sweet," Chan interrupts. “We’ve worked with her for years and she’s been nothing but nice. Maybe she’s a bit more touchy than others, but she’s never crossed any boundaries.”

"Something about her feels weird, like there’s something more going on. These posts-”

“Just drop it, there’s nothing to be concerned about. She’s harmless.”

“You keep saying that but I’m telling you-”

"Why, are you jealous?" he asks, adopting a teasing voice. He pulls you into his arms. "You know that you're my girl, right?" 

“Chan, I’m not jealous!” you snap, pushing him away. Chan looks at you, startled by your seriousness. “I really don’t like her. And you keep defending her and I don’t know how to feel when you’re taking her side and not mine.”

“Okay fine,” Chan says, finally backing off although he seems a bit annoyed. “I can’t avoid her at schedules, but I’ll be careful when she’s around, okay?”

“Okay.”

There’s a moment of silence and you think the conversation is over, but Chan speaks again.

“I just wish that you’d trust me a little more. You know that I wouldn’t do anything like that.”

“Of course I trust you,” you say. “I just don’t trust her, she’s- I can tell she’s up to something.”

“Well she can be up to whatever she wants, it’s not going to change the fact that you’re the one I love. She can have feelings for me, but I’m never going to reciprocate them.”

“Fine, I won’t bring it up again,” you say, feeling exhausted. 

Dropping the issue without getting Chan to fully understand your concerns feels like defeat, but you can tell that pushing more won’t get you anywhere. You haven’t even broached the part that bothered you most about the posts - the fact that Harang has been seemingly pretending that Chan was her partner - but if Chan already doesn’t care, this detail isn’t going to change his mind.

You don't want to make too much of a fuss about it, maybe it really is a non-issue and you're overreacting, but something about this whole situation just doesn't sit right with you. 

—

You're a bit surprised when a few weeks later, Chan asks you to go on a date, even more so when he mentions that he was able to book a private room at a fancy restaurant the two of you had talked about trying before. It wasn't that he never treated you or made time for you, it was just that his busy schedule and caution around fans finding out about you meant that the two of you stayed in more often than not.

The last time you had done something like this was on your anniversary a few months ago and while you enjoy the comfortable and quiet dates at home that you usually have, you're touched by Chan's initiative to do something more special.

The night of the date, you're still in the process of getting ready when Chan texts.

Sorry baby, I'm going to be staying late tonight

[5:47 pm - received]

Have some things that I need to finish up

You know how much Chan tries to prioritise spending time with you, so you figure that it must be something really important that came up. You understand that he doesn't have much of a choice when the higher ups ask something of him, but it's hard to stop the disappointment that crashes over you. Still, you want to support him and cheer him up, guessing that he already feels bad about having to bail.

[5:52 pm - sent]

It's fine! Don’t work too hard ^.^

[5:55 pm - received]

Thanks

Miss you

[5:56 pm - sent]

Miss you toooo

It had been so long since you had been on a proper date with Chan that you had started getting more and more excited as the day had approached. You had even bought a new dress that you'd been eyeing for a while and had left work a little bit earlier than usual to get ready. Now it feels like it was all for nothing. At least he told you before you left the house, but you've already finished your makeup.

Not wanting to waste the evening, you message a couple friends and make plans to grab dinner. It’s been a couple months since the three of you have been able to get together and you have fun catching up at a pocha eating street food.

When you finish your meal, the three of you discuss going to a noraebang next and you take out your phone to help search for the nearest one.

You get a notification that one of your friends has posted a story of you and your dinner, so you open up Instagram to like it. You’re about to switch to Naver Map when the screen changes to a story that Harang has posted. The second that you see it, there's this horrible, heavy feeling that starts to grow in your chest, making it harder to breathe.

The picture is focused on the food that’s on the table, but even a short glance is enough for you to recognize that the hands of the person sitting across from Harang belong to Chan. If you weren’t sure from just the hands, his signature bracelets and the bunched up sleeves of his hoodie confirm your suspicions. Even the food that has been ordered matches Chan’s preferences.

Oh.

So Chan wasn't working late.

He was out. 

Having dinner.

With Harang. 

The girl that you had warned him about. 

The one that he had promised to stay away from.

Instagram moves to another story, but you navigate back to Harang’s page to look at the picture again. This time, you notice that there’s a caption at the bottom of the screen that says ‘late night meals with him <3’.

You want to throw up.

Instead, you lock your phone with shaky hands and take a deep breath, trying to stop the tears that have begun to sting your eyes. You don’t want to be the crazy, jealous, and possessive girlfriend that overreacts or jumps to conclusions every time they see their partner spending time with others. 

But this isn’t you randomly accusing him without any cause. It’s reasonable for you, his girlfriend, to be upset when he’s spending time one-on-one with another woman, even more so because that other woman is pretending online that she's dating him.

No matter what you think, there is no good reason that would explain why Chan would have dinner with Harang tonight. If it was just the picture, you could have accepted it as Harang being her usual, delusional self, but the fact that Chan would cancel plans and deliberately lie to you about it…

“-okay, Y/n?”

You just manage to catch the end of your friend's question and you look up to find both your friends staring at you with identical concerned expressions.

“What?” you ask, trying to play it off by laughing but even you can tell it doesn't sound convincing. “Sorry, I think I zoned out.”

“Are you okay?” one of them repeats gently. “Did you get some bad news?”

“No, not that, it's just I’m not feeling well all of a sudden. I think I should go home,” you say to your friends. You must look just as horrible as you feel because as soon as they see your face, they immediately stop what they’re doing to fuss over you.

“What do you think it was?” one of them asks.

“I think something just didn’t agree with me,” you say weakly.

“But we shared all our food, were you feeling sick earlier?”

“No, it's fine, I think I just need to rest a bit.”

As much as you want to spill everything to them, to yell and scream and cry. To shake them and ask what you've done to deserve this. To make them check and see if you're actually going crazy. You can't.

They don't know Chan, they wouldn't understand how complicated your secret relationship is. But mostly, you don't want them to know. You want to keep the shame and embarrassment that's clawing in your chest to yourself.

You don't think you could handle it, watching their expressions turn to one of pity. You know there's nothing they could say to make you feel better anyway.

Your friends order you a taxi to take you home, making you promise to message them when you make it back safely. You manage to do that, sending a couple words to your group chat the second you stumble out of the vehicle.

Somehow you make it back to your apartment. You didn't drink tonight, but the way that the ground seems to be moving from under you, the unsteadiness of your hands as you try to unlock your door, and the roiling nausea that you've barely kept at bay, it feels like you've finished a couple bottles of soju by yourself.

You had suspected something was going on and this was just confirmation that you were right. Maybe it had been dumb of you to just believe Chan when he said there was nothing to worry about - of course he would say that. You had chosen to trust Chan and he had let you fall.

The worst part is, you don't even feel mad.

In fact, you don't feel anything at all. The gross and sick feeling that had taken over your body has been replaced with a heavy numbness. It fills your limbs and dulls the pain that you know is simmering just underneath your skin so that all that's left is this deep ache.

You don't sleep at all that night.

read it on ao3 | part 2 | masterlist

[chahnniesroom]

to build a home // fake texts

pairing: none (platonic ot8 & reader)

summary: when you finally start joining the boys at the gym, you find yourself actually enjoying it. that is, until you overhear some stylists gossiping about your weight, hurting not only your self-confidence, but also your relationship with the other members.

screenshot count: 21

tags/warnings: 9th member au, fluff

a/n: these fake texts are related to the fic that i wrote of the same name. these texts are lighthearted and the fic is... not lighthearted lol also this is my first time using this app for fake texts (thanks @kangaracha!!) and i did not realise that the time at the top just stays the same unless you change it... sorry

written fic | where the heart is collection | masterlist

written fic | where the heart is collection | masterlist