#chairkun

[momtaku]

The reason why Levi was always sitting on a chair in those illustrations is because he will need one in the future maybe ?

...

Uh, @vairre I think we need to rework our chair-kun theories

[chipupuni]

A bit late but joker is in smash woot and thanks for 500+ followers!!!

[momtaku]

With regards to this week's episode, RIP chair kun! Why aren't you up in arms about our favorite character getting killed??

I never thought Kenny and Levi had much in common, but seeing them each terrorize chair-kuns has made me wonder if perhaps Uri suffered from flatass syndrom as well.

I’m not up in arms, anon, because even though we saw two perfectly fine chair-kuns smashed to smithereens, I have to believe no actual chair-kun’s were harmed in the production of this series. 

And tbh, with the pace the series is going and how many important moments have been edited and overlooked, having chair-kun have such focus is really an honor!! Thanks for the ask!

[momtaku]

Hi mom. What do you think of Levi's new, expensive red chair? Do you think it's related to Erwin? It looks soft and nice on the butt, unlike the chair he threw through the bar window, and the one he tipped over in marley. I think Levi's not done expressing his immense regret for Erwin's flattened ass, he's leading by example by showcasing better chairs for everyone.

You are absolutely correct. And the anime and merchandising team agree with you. Look at all the times Levi has officially sat in a soft red chair. And notice how peaceful he looks. It’s obvious that soft chairs make him think wistfully of what could’ve been had Erwin been kinder to his ass. 

By way of comparison, I can think of one prominent instance where we see Levi sitting in a hard chair.

Do you see the difference? Here, let me zoom in:

It’s official. Levi Ackerman hates hard chairs. 

As I stare at Volume 14 I can’t miss how Erwin’s body is facing the chair. Perhaps he longs to sit on it. But Levi is stubborn and loyal and always willing to sacrifice his own ass in order to protect Erwin’s. 

Thank you again, chair anon, for your brilliant and insightful asks! You have been the main force in establishing the canonicity of flatasswin and the resulting fallout of Levi’s relationship with chairs everywhere 💕

[momtaku]

Plot twist Erwin's ass got flat because he spent so much time sitting on chair-kun. It's chair-kun's fault and that's why Levi purposefully tips it over before confronting the War hammer titan.

I need a second to compose myself because did Chair-kun just meet Flatasswin?

Hold my drink, Martha.

This.Is. The.Greatest.Day.Ever.

So we know the chair in Marley can’t be Erwin’s actual chair. However, the tossed chair could indicate Levi’s deep seated resentment towards chairs in general. Perhaps all hard chairs are symbolic to Levi of the evils done to Erwin’s ass. Tossing chair-kun may be a coping method for dealing with his profound guilt, sadness and regret. I’ll bet that in the long years waiting to seek vengeance on the Beast Titan, Levi took out some of his anger by tossing chairs.

We could expand this theory to infer that this is why Levi sleeps in a chair. Perhaps he is subconsciously trying to protect Erwin from the chair. Or maybe Levi sleeps in a soft chair in a subtle effort to show Erwin that there was an alternative.

Either way, Levi likely sees Erwin’s flat ass as a failure on his part. Erwin spent too much time in a chair and Levi couldn’t stop him. Levi couldn’t save Erwin from the chair. If so, the tossed chair in chapter 102 makes a lot of sense. Isayama positioning the chair just below Levi is a symbol of regret in what should be Levi’s purely majestic reappearance.

[momtaku]

hi mom. question, is there a source for the part in your recent post where you say levi dislikes hard chairs? ive never seen that and if you could link me a source id greatly appreciate it!

Uh... well, you see it’s not exactly canonical. It is however based on very solid and well researched crack theories supposition. I think if you read the evidence below and look at the references you will agree that there is good reason to believe that Levi dislikes and resents hard chairs. 

1. Feb 6, 2018 - In retaliation for a flood of bald Levi on my dash, I posted very canonical evidence proving that Erwin does not have the smokin’ hot bod we’d all thought and is in fact “flatasswin”. 

2. Feb. 9, 2018 - A clever person now known as “chair anon” alerted me to a panel with a conspicuously placed knocked over chair in chapter 102. Later that day a meta was written about the significance of the chair, mainly that it represented hope amidst the destruction surrounding it. Thus began “chair-kun” meta.

3. Feb 21, 2018 - Tumblr user @ananke-asteria  connects these two seemingly unrelated theories by speculating that Erwin's ass got flat because he spent so much time sitting on hard chairs and hinting that Levi purposefully knocked over the chair in Marley before confronting the War hammer titan because of that.

4. Feb 26, 2018 - After seeing Mikasa’s misshaped bum in chapter 103, a new theory surfaces that all SC members have flat asses and that’s why they wear leather skirts.

5. Mar 25, 2018 - Various merchandise and official art indicate that Levi prefers soft chairs.

Hopefully this clarifies things for you, anon. My chairkun and flatasswin tags are filled with additional information.

[momtaku]

1/2 Hey, mom, it's chair anon again! When I'm looking at the chair I'm thinking about people in that building - they were here just a moment ago, they were cheering, maybe some kid used it to stand on it and see better or sth. Now it's left alone, just like that, not a sigh of people - apartment is empty, ripped in half. But the chair still is whole, there still is a chance somebody will come. Most of it is in darkness, but hey not all, there is a bit of light, a bit of hope.

2/2 On one side is the titan and on the other is just that chair, symbol of people who lived there and between them is a man in a cape of black grief with the wings of freedom on his back. I didn’t see Levi, because I saw just a man. And I couldn’t stop thinking of Erwin in that moment – because the first and the last time when we see him, it’s the wings, the symbol, not the person behind it. That’s what I see in that chair and I know it’s stupid, but oh well I am like that.

Hello. You are clearly a horrible person. Who hurt you and why do you have to hurt me? And why oh why did I ask you to meta the chair??  Making the chair all about Erwin and Levi is absolutely something I would do, I am loling so much. Bless!

I’m not sure if you are aware of this, but because of you, Chair-kun Meta is now a very real thing.  Someone said in the replies that maybe it was the chair Eren sat in during his chat with Reiner.  Another thought Levi was chilling in the chair, drinking tea while awaiting his moment to make a grand appearance.

You did this. This is all on you. I hope you are happy.

[momtaku]

The fact that Mikasas hair is flowing to different directions in your "Mikasa crying posr" is flipping me off. That must have a deeper meaning, right?

Right? RIGHT?? It’s not just flowing in opposite directions, but it’s different lengths as well! Right flip vs left, long hair vs short–if I hadn’t used all my crack meta powers earlier today on “Levi vs Chair-kun” I might be able to hobble together a theory out of this!