He wants this war to end he doesn’t want to be a soldier. He wants to exist for the sake of existing because fighting for validity to exist is so tiring. He wants to go back to Earth and see familiar constellations and the desert sand. He wants to bring the team to the shack and make it a home. He wants his dad back, he wants his dad to meet his new family. Was there ever a universe where he could have both his dad and his family? It seems too perfect. He thinks about his dad and Shiro shaking hands and his dad ruffling Pidge’s hair and talking mechanics with Hunk. He thinks about introducing Lance to his father. He cries.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 5/?
Fandom: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Female Dovahkiin | Dragonborn/Miraak, Dovahkiin | Dragonborn/Miraak
Characters: Female Dovahkiin | Dragonborn, Miraak (Elder Scrolls), Lucien Flavius
Additional Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dreamsharing, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Fairy Tale Elements, Redemption, Romance, Slow Burn, Soul Bond, Soulmates
Summary:
“What a shame that your fate is to die so that I may have my freedom.”
Laat Dovahkiin tilts up her chin. “I have slain the World-Eater, crossed into Sovngarde a living woman, and returned alive. Surely I am beyond fate by now.”
“But you are not beyond mine, mal dovahdin,” Miraak tells her.
* * *
Once a runaway noblewoman from High Rock, now the famed saviour of Skyrim, Elentari vows to do her duty when a new threat rises on the island of Solstheim. What she expects is an enemy like all the rest. Instead, she meets Miraak, a man whose very soul calls out to her own, and she begins to wonder just how closely their fates are intertwined—and if the First and the Last Dragonborn can defy the destiny set aside for them both.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 5/25
Fandom: Women's Soccer RPF
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Tobin Heath/Christen Press
Characters: Tobin Heath, Christen Press
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Ballet, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Angst with a Happy Ending, praise kinks: for when you can't afford therapy
Summary:
Pas De Deux | pɑː də ˈdəː
a dance for two.
including five sections that, together, tell of a brief love story.
If home is where the heart is, Christen’s is tangled amongst loose programs and clumps of gum stuck beneath a fold-out, fake velvet seat in a theatre she’s long since forgotten the name of.
She doesn't know when she lost it. Probably about the same time Tobin lost everything.
Or: Christen's a principal dancer at the American Ballet Theatre, Tobin never will be again, and therein lies all their problems
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 5/?
Fandom: Men's Hockey RPF
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Alex DeBrincat/Dylan Strome, Background Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews
Characters: Alex DeBrincat, Dylan Strome, Mitch Marner, Ryan Strome, Patrick Kane, Jonathan Toews, Connor McDavid
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Pining, Angst, Really a lot of angst, Dylan is a failwolf, But not forever, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Werewolf Bonds
Series: Part 7 of Wolfverse
Summary:
It’s okay to be a wolf in the NHL now. That’s what everyone tells Dylan, anyway.
Only no matter how much I hoped, and prayed, and wished I could be safe... I wasn't. I should have known that from the second Ash tapped on my shoulder, but I guess I have an unhealthy combination of wishful thinking and naivety to to think otherwise.
"Wake up." Rose growled pulling the thick comforter off of me. My eyes snapped open, I hadn't slept well, I had been awake but I was ironically content to just lay there and evaluate what my life had become. Goose flesh prickled my skin as the unpleasant chill swept over me like a cloud.I noticed immediately that Rose held Ash by a large clump of hair in his fist, holding him up like a doll instead of a human body, Ash's eyes were eye level with mine and wide with terror and that made me feel on edge. Something was wrong, it was bad and I knew I was in danger.
"Seems as if this little shit faced kid can't follow rules, right Ash?" Rose begins, a heavy slur to his voice. I turn my eyes to Rose who has scruff on his face and blood shot eyes. From here I can smell the alcohol on him, it's radiating from like a space heater.
I look back to Ash quickly and through the fear his eyes, those stunning... Those haunting orbs... Those green eyes tell me to stay right where I'm at.
"We agreed about speaking, didn't we Ash?" Rose seethes pulling him upward by his hair. Ash's hands cling too Rose's wrist as leverage. I imagine to keep his hair from being ripped out. I gulp nervously, the lump that had formed there not dissipating, but growing larger as my worries grow.
"He threatens the trust you should have in me, right?" He asks.
"Telling you you're my new play thing? As if. I bet he's even told you i'm cruel. But my sweet, most beautiful girl. I'm really not." He grinds out angrily.
"I'm not!" He shouts now emphasizing himself throwing Ash to the ground in a heap. He stays there on my floor and I want to touch him to make sure he's okay but Ash's silent direction tells me to stay.
Then, Rose leans in right to my face almost nose to nose, his rancid, alcoholic breath going into my nose, and mouth making me gag on the smell.
"I'm really quite sweet! You should know after all, certainly nothing like 'that'" He points to a crumpled Ash over his shoulder. "On the floor. I didn't threaten you for your name did I... Ebony?" Rose coos lowering his voice and barring his teeth in an evil smile. Almost like one you'd see in a horror movie, and like in the movies, me the kidnapped heroin reacts with a shiver runs down my spine and I want to dart for the door, hide under the covers but the command is still evident.
Rose gauges my reaction between my wide, scared eyes almost a mirror of Ash's and my slightly agape mouth and takes the same lock of hair as before in his hands, twirling it between his fingers before tucking it behind my ear again. My heart is racing a mile a minute. My breathing has accelerated so fast, it was like I was hyperventilating, and my eyes kept flicking between Ash's and Rose's eyes trying to find a direction, if there was one from Ash. Our conversation about reading between the lines echoing distantly in a far off place in my mind. I see Ash nod at me ever so slightly from the floor and I look back into Rose's eyes and nod as convincingly as I can. Rose smiles wider then spins around gracefully despite the alcohol and walks in that heel to toe fashion, taunting me endlessly while clasping his hands behind his back and circles Ash's body. From my vantage point Ash looks so small, young, and breakable. It makes me wonder how old he is.
"Ash? Isn't it pathetic when she can see through your bullshit? When she knows the rules better than the one who made them? Isn't it just so. Damn. Funny!" He kicks him on the last word in the gut, and sound of oxygen leaving Ash's lungs is disheartening. It was my fault, I talked. I told him my name. This is my fault.
"Isn't it so funny that..." Kick
"She..." Kick
"Is..." Kick
"Smarter..." Kick
"Than..." Kick
"You..." Kick, each kick being punctuated and emphasized by each word. Each kick sent little whimpers, little groans, and little cries for help out of Ash's mouth, and if I wasn't so paralyzed by my guilt I would have. I cower on my bed and cover my hears to shield them from the noise escaping Ash's lips, but the sound still penetrates, stabbing shallowly into my heart.
It's my fault.
All mine!
How could it be mine, he forced me to talk! Told me he'd hurt me, get Rose if I didn't. This is all on him right?
No. It isn't, I allowed myself to my persuaded, it is my fault.
My muscles ache with the longing to stop the assault but all of me is paralyzed in debilitating fear for what would happen to me if I tried to stop him. I felt frozen to my spot, trying to break free but being so powerless to change my position. Needing to change my position but I'm helpless. I'm under their mercy.
Rose crouches then, right aside Ash's broken form delicately wrapping his long fingers around his partners neck squeezing fiercely. I felt the paralysis start to melt away chilled drip by chilled drip, dripping down my spine and down my legs and out my toes forming a puddle only I knew existed on the floor as I watched with piqued horror as Ash scratched and pulled frantically at Rose's open arms drawing blood from them in attempts to stop him. Rose only hissed and squeezed harder. There was no mercy in his body only a thirst for which Ash's waning life could satisfy. It wasn't until Ash's efforts became lethargic, and his hands were slowing, only brushing his skin halfheartedly that I was free and could move.
"NO!" I screamed, practically lunging myself from my thawed out spot on the mattress.
"Get off of him please!" I yelled again desperately trying to pry Rose's fingers from Ash's neck.
"Stop! Please stop, please!" I beg, grabbing his shoulders roughly.
"Get off me, bitch." He scolds one second. The next I'm lying on the floor near Rose's feet, my face stinging and Ash's legs not kicking any longer.
He hit me. I know I shouldn't be surprised, he's hit me a few times before, who was I kidding to think he wouldn't do it now? I should expect him to do it again, and honestly? I should expect him to turn his brute force onto me. It just seems in his character.
My vision is hazy though, black spots appearing like moles in a "Whack-A-Mole" game, and then I hear it. I hear Rose stand, and Ash's grateful gulps and whimpers of life rushing in and out of him at a quick pace. Rose had stopped. But this horror hasn't stopped.
I hear something else, I hear it now just as distinctly as I heard it when Ash hugged me. A sudden metallic sprint and a quick lock. Rose has a knife.
"Ash?" Rose calls to him pacing. Another whoosh of air and a pained gasp escapes his lips. The kicking never ends. I push myself off the ground, push the blurriness from my vision and scramble closer to Ash.
"What do we do to people who don't follow the rules?" He asks
"Teach them a lesson..." Ash wheezes, and in that moment all air dissipates and it gets hard to breath. I feel like we're all suffocating. I can feel the blood seeping from Ash's skin and into the floor, because I sure as hell know mine is, and I want to run.
"That's right!" Rose exclaims. Then he kneels next to me. An evil, fake, sweet smile placed on his lips.
"The only thing left to do is to put you back in your place. Teach you your lesson." Rose announces, not talking to me. his eyes were everywhere but mine, like he could look at Ash through his head but in the next second his eyes were holding mine. Captivating, capturing, and holding them prisoner like he had done to me. They were inescapable.
"So." He began, taking the same piece of hair in his hands, twisting the loose strands between his fingers.
"The only option here is to kill you." He speaks.
"NO!" Ashley yells and pushes my body away from his. His finger tips barely touched my thigh but the instruction was clear. Run. I never knew my legs to react so fast. But before my brain knew where it needed my body to go, my body was running toward the bathroom. The small, dinky bathroom full of white ad bad memories now becoming my refuge.
"I don't think so!" Rose chastised and another step more his body collided with mine like a steam engine that threw us too the ground. When we landed his body was on top of mine and I couldn't breath, the impact forced the air from my lungs and I felt like I was choking, and my head made a very loud, defined, and debilitating 'smack' on the tiled floor making my vision once again very blurry. MY glasses were on but it was like I had them off and across the room. I knew I was going to sleep, because each blink was heavier, and slower, it was harder to open my eyes, when I did my eyes were crossed in protest. His rough, rougher than Ash's, and calloused hands flipped over over onto my back. In the haziness we made eye contact again, and he just smiled.
The last think I remember was Rose hiking my dress up and me pitifully slapping his chest to ward him off.
Sleep though, it was too enlightening, and too heavy to fight back as well. He was still pulling my panties off when I finally succumbed, despite my still slow defense... and I don't think I won.
"Cas, please. You've been eyeing that Winchester for five days straight and you haven't gone over there yet. Can you spare us all and just go talk to the dude? Cas…are you listening to me at all?"
The Novak jumps out of his stare to see a hand waving in front of his face, a very disgruntled looking Jess glaring at him unhappily. Her bottom lip is pouting out and her arms are crossed over her chest, her body leaning against the counter. He knows the look well and he turns away from the gaze, occupying himself with stocking up the coffee cups in the back room instead.
"I'm listening," Cas grumbles. "You want me to talk to Dean but guess what, Jess? It isn't that easy! Dean and I…we have a…uh…unique relationship." Cas wants to say that his relationship with Dean is beyond complicated, a figment that he can't even begin to understand. The truth of the matter is that Dean and him haven't spoken since that first photography class almost a week ago, but instead have been communicating between stolen glances through their respective workplaces' windows. A wink here, a long stare there, it is almost as if long looks have become the staple of their relationship, whatever that may be.
"And why not?" Jess counters back. "You like him, he clearly likes you. Boy meets boy and bam! A relationship is formed. I don't get why you don't just ask him out already, that's all."
Cas blushes red and pushes Jess aside as a customer walks up to the counter. He can feel Jess's blazing stare on his back as he rings up the woman's order and slings a coffee over the surface. He catches Dean's gaze again through the window as he does so and almost sends the drink spiraling off the side of the counter, catching it at the last second.
"Wow, you two really do need to screw, don't ya?" the woman who ordered the coffee says.
He spins around and finds a red-headed girl smirking at him, a piece of paper plucked between her fingers.
"Excuse me?" Cas asks with a little jump of surprise in his voice. Who the hell is the girl?
"I said that you and the Winchester really need to find a dark closet and work out the clear sexual tension between you two. I swear, it's like watching the first five minutes of a Casa Erotica porno." The redhead leans forward on the counter and slides the piece of paper in her hand across the way towards Cas. "This is for you, lover boy."
She turns to leave but stops at the door, saluting Cas from across the coffee shop. "My name is Charlie, by the way. Charlie Bradbury. I've known Dean for a long time now and he's totally into you, by the way. You'll thank me when you're happily screwing Dean all the day long, and if those looks indicate anything it'll be sooner rather than later." She nods her head down and throws Cas a sly smile. "See you around, Novak."
Cas just gapes after her as she leaves the shop and crosses over to the bookstore. He can see her saunter over to Dean and pat him on the shoulder, the two of them glancing over at Cas with Dean giving him a little wave. The hysterical laughter of Jess is reverberating behind him and Cas just blushes profusely, giving a little salute back. When Charlie and Dean turn away, his hand hovers over the paper Charlie left behind, his heart beating fast in his chest. A huge part of him wants to know what the words on the page say. Clearly the note is from Dean, who else? After what feels like hours of waiting, Cas reaches across the space and pulls the letter into his hand, carefully opening the page.
The Roadhouse Bar
1287 Kripke Lane
Be there at 11.
-DW
Cas stores the note in his pocket and catches the confused gaze of Jess. "Well," he responds lightly "…it looks like I've got a date with a Winchester."
The Novak pulls up to the bar at eleven o'clock sharp, his legs strained from the long bike ride. When he offered Dean the opportunity to keep the Impala until it was fixed he didn't consider how he would get around, especially this late at night when the buses were long past running in the small college town.
He shoves off the bike and lays it against the building, praying to God above that it doesn't get stolen; it's the only form of transportation he has, after all. He's sweaty and his perfectly tousled hair is now a wreck, his clothes drenched from biking in the eighty degree California heat, and to top it all off he forgot the note at home and had to circle the city five times before he found the place. Needless to say that when he walks into the dark and smoky bar ordering a beer is the first thing on his list.
"Well well well, look what the cat dragged in," a Southern voice drawls from across the counter.
Cas looks up into the eyes of Ellen Harvelle. The woman is leaning over the counter and already has his beer in hand, shoving it across the way towards him.
"Ellen? You work here?" Cas asks confusedly.
"Work here? I own this place, Castiel!" she responds. "First it was my granddaddy's, and then it was my daddy's, and then when he passed it went down me. And after I'm gone, it'll go to Jo. Unless she doesn't want it; then it goes to that monkey over there." Ellen jerks her head in the direction of a man with a blond mullet who is playing air guitar in the corner. "The kid's a genius, but I wouldn't trust him with my bar regardless of his IQ. I mean..look at him," she mutters under her breath. Sure enough when Cas turns around the man is now lip synching along with the air guitar, stumbling around the room like he's a drunk puppy.
"Okay yeah, I can see your point," Cas replies as he pops open the beer, his body automatically relaxing as the cool liquid runs down his throat.
Ellen sighs. "Anyway, I'm guessin' you're not just here to visit little ol' me, right?" She nods towards the line of pool tables in the back. "Your boy toy is back there if you're lookin' for him."
Cas jumps in surprise and slugs back another bit of beer. "Wha…Dean is…we're not…he's not my boy toy!" he splutters as Ellen looks on at him with sparkling eyes.
"Damn boy, I was just kiddin'…but maybe there's something between y'all after all!" she calls as Cas grabs the beer bottle from the bar and makes his way across the room, searching for Dean in the crowd of college students. He can hear her laughter reverberate behind him and he tries desperately to hide the blush crawling to his face.
At first all Cas sees is a sea of unfamiliar faces, one face blending into the other. The bar is packed with drunken students sprawled around on pool tables and chairs, bar stools and walls. The air is thick with cigarette smoke and ecstasy, lust swirling around in the space like a living being. Alcohol is being spilled on the ground left and right as the students fall further into a stupor, the music growing louder by the minute and the room rising with the new beat thrumming through the space. At this rate Cas is positive it will be impossible to find Dean in this crowd, almost turning around to just head back home and call it a night when he spots the Winchester across the way, perched next to Jo in the corner.
Cas automatically feels his heart beat a little faster, but if that's from the beer or seeing Dean he's uncertain. He fights his way thought the throng of students and makes his way towards the Winchester and the Harvelle, almost knocking over a clearly drunk frat boy in the process.
When he gets close enough where Dean can hear, Cas calls out his name.
"Hey, Dean!" he yells over the noise of the crowd. "Dean, over here-"
But his words get stuck in his throat as he watches the Winchester duck his head to Jo's, a hand encapsulating her head as Dean lays his lips against hers.
Cas doesn't know what to say, what to do. It's like glass is shattering all around him, a roaring din in his ears. He can feel the beer drop from his hand and smash against the floor, the bottle breaking into a hundred pieces all around him, but he doesn't care. All he can do in that moment is stare until Dean leans up from the passionate kiss and catches Cas's gaze from across the room, clear surprise in his eyes.
When he sees Dean pushing Jo aside to fight through the crowd, Cas runs.
Stupid, stupid, stupid is the mantra that flies through Cas's head as he pushes through the crowd, ignoring the annoyed looks he gets from the people around him. All he can think about in that moment is escaping this place, escaping the air that is too hot around him, escaping Dean. His body is shaking and his mind is racing, everything and everybody pushing into him at once. It takes forever but eventually Cas fights his way to the bar entrance and smashes through the door, the sultry air around him not helping his state.
He laughs to himself. Of course Dean is here on a Friday night kissing a girl like Jo. Of course he told Cas to come here; he probably thought they would just be hanging out like friends do. Of course Dean never had any romantic interest in Cas, because how could he? Dean is brilliant and complicated and raw, and what is Cas? He's just a lawyer, a man who is more robot than human. He's programmable, set to the whims of his father's will. Dean is a storm, raging and unkempt and free; why would the storm ever be interested in the concrete house it can't move?
"Cas…Cas!" Dean's voice rings out from behind, but Cas doesn't turn around. Instead he runs to his bike and pedals away, the Winchester's voice fading out behind him in the distance.
Dean
Today 12:34 AM
Cas, please, talk to me.
Today 12:37 AM
Can you at least explain why you left so fast?
Today 1:03 AM
Was it something I did?
Today 1:05 AM
DAMMIT CAS ANSWER YOU ASSHOLE
Today 1:07 AM
Dude, I'm serious. Can we please talk?
The Novak reads each text as he's sprawled out in bed, automatically deleting each one as it comes into his inbox. He feels slightly guilty, but then the image of Dean biting Jo's lip pops back into his mind and the emotion subsides, replaced with a bout of jealousy. He knows he's being ridiculous; Dean and him have only known each other for a few weeks and are not in a relationship. Why shouldn't he kiss a girl like Jo who is equal harsh lines and soft curves, a girl who Dean has known his entire life, a girl who probably knows his illness inside and out, someone who could be there for him day or night and would know exactly what to do? He should be with a girl like Jo Harvelle. Besides, Cas barely knows the guy. Why should he care? He shouldn't.
But if that is true, then why does Cas's stomach feel like it's being pummeled with angry butterflies? Why does his face flush red whenever he envisions the bright emerald eyes of the Winchester? If he shouldn't care about Dean, why does he care so damn much about this boy?
Cas sighs as the last text rolls in.
Today 1:36 AM
Fine, be that way. I'll see you soon, Cas.
He doesn't delete this one but instead shoves his phone under the bed and tosses over on the crumpled sheets, trying to push any thought about Dean from his mind. The traffic buzzing outside his window gets his attention for a minute, then the footsteps of his roommate Gadreel entering the room occupy him the next. He tries focusing on trivial things, such as the BAR exam he's going to have to take or the huge history project he has due in a week, but none push away that nagging feeling in the back of his mind, the one that is telling him to go to Dean.
No, don't do that. Don't get involved, Castiel.
His mind recites the mantra over and over, but his will slowly crumbles as the words fade from his thoughts. Why shouldn't he go see Dean? Isn't he the one who wanted to talk? Why not get his side of the story?
Cas glances over at the clock. The bright neon letters read 2:41 AM. Gadreel is snoring softly in the bunk above Cas, his hand lingering down in front of Cas's face. He knows he shouldn't go to Dean's apartment at this hour. He rambles off a thousand different reasons of why he should just leave it be. Dean is probably pissed at him now; he'll wake up Gadreel getting out of the room; the doors to the dorm automatically lock after 2 AM and he'll have to call campus security to get back in when he returns.
He crawls quietly out of bed and throws on his shoes while he pushes the thoughts aside, because what happens if he does go? Could it all just be one misunderstanding? What if Dean does care about him after all?
It's that thought that propels him to grab his phone and shove it in a pocket, to quietly slip through the door and out into the hall. He's not the only one around, some students milling around finishing late night study sessions while others are just passed out drunk on the lounge couches, sleeping off their night. It becomes clear very quickly that Cas is not one of the regulars out this late by the looks he receives, some simply curious while others are more hostile, almost as if he's intruding on their secret club.
Cas avoids the looks as he steps into the elevator and pushes the button for the ground level, breathing sigh of relief as the doors close on the passerby.
"You're going to see him, aren't you?" a voice rings out beside him.
The Novak jumps in surprise and stumbles back against the railing, his eyes wheeling until they land on a familiar redhead in a blue jacket and jeans. She's smirking just like she did back at the coffee shop earlier today, her arms crossed over her chest as she throws Cas an amused glance.
"Wha…Charlie, is it?" he asks drowsily, trying to fight off the yawn that is about to escape his lips.
"Oh, so you do remember me," she replies brightly. "Nice to see you again, Cas. Did the note work? Are you and Dean a thing now?"
"No, of course not," Cas growls back. "We hardly know each other."
"Yeah, that's not the vibe I was getting this morning," Charlie mutters under her breath.
Cas blanches at her. "We're friends, Charlie. Nothing else. The better question is what are you doing up this late?"
She curls in on herself and leans back against the railing, a little smile coming to her lips. "I may be visiting someone…" she trails off.
"And that someone is…"
Charlie blushes. "Why would I tell you? I only know your name and the fact that you're really into Dean Winchester, even if you won't admit it. I don't owe you anything, Novak. But if you must know…" she trails off, a light pink coloring her cheeks, "..her name is Glinda. She's gorgeous, smart, amazing, and most importantly into girls, so I'm a bit of a nervous wreck right now. Any advice, Castiel?"
"No need to worry, Charlie. I barely know you but you seem pretty amazing, from what I can tell."
Charlie throws Cas a long look and then digs into her backpack, pulling out a piece of paper and a pen. She scribbles down a phone number and shoves it in Cas's hand. "Thanks, Cas," she replies. "That's really nice of you to say. There's my number; I've known Dean for a few years now so call me if you have any Winchester related questions," she says with a grin.
He opens his mouth to ask another question as the doors fly open, but Charlie makes her grand escape.
"Well that's all the time we have for today! Bye, Novak!" she calls as she runs out the door, leaving Cas behind.
He just shakes his head as she runs off, a little laugh escaping him. Despite everything, he can already tell that Charlie's going to be a friend.
Carver University is quite unknown in the nation. Enrollment sits at about a thousand students and the faculty is minimal, many professors teaching multiple subjects throughout the college. However, the one thing the university isn't lacking in is acres upon acres of space, spanning out for miles around you. Usually Cas is thankful for the expansive space; he never has to run into people he'd rather not see if he does not want to, but tonight when he wanders the space trying to find Dean's apartment he can't help but cuss loudly in the darkness, hating that this university goes on forever.
After what seems like forever Cas finally finds himself standing in front of the Berens apartment building, the brick walls looking like a tower above him. He stares up into the windows, trying to catch a glimpse of which one could possibly be Dean's, squinting into the darkness. He walks around the building and tries to look into the spaces, but quickly finds what an impossible task it is.
Instead, he pulls out his phone and sends a quick text.
Dean
Today 1:36 AM
Fine, be that way. I'll see you soon, Cas.
Today 2:57 AM
I'm outside if you want to talk.
He waits, and waits, and waits. Soon enough he checks his phone and it's 3:15 AM with no response from Dean. Cas knows he should call it a night, go home and get some sleep before he talks to the man, but he's too damn determined to just give up. Instead of wandering back to his own dorm room, he starts grabbing rocks from the ground and pools them in his hand. The next thing he knows he's throwing them at windows, hoping to God above that he'll by chance find Dean's room.
The first rock ricochets off a window with a loud clang, the person in the room running to the window with sleep in their eyes. When Cas sees that the person is the star quarterback, he runs before he's seen.
The second rock hits the glass louder than the last, this time the tenant ripping open the window moments after the noise disrupts their sleep. The woman wipes the sleep from her eyes and then wheels around until she looks on at Cas. She's about to yell, but Cas beats her to the punch.
"Jess?" he calls out, squinting into the darkness to make sure he's seeing things right. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Castiel? What the hell are you doing here?" she asks back, crossing her arms over her chest tightly.
"You first," he responds with a little smirk, easily falling back into the childish antics he and Jessica Moore got famous for in elementary school.
She huffs out a breath and leans against the windowsill, her hair pooling around her face. "If you must know, I've been staying with Sam Winchester for the past few weeks. It's not what it looks like!" she interjects when she sees the sly smile come across Cas's face. "He was just kind enough to take me in when Hael and I got into a huge argument. She wasn't willing to leave and there's no way I'm going back there until she apologizes, so I'm hanging out here until further notice. You happy now?"
"Well, that's a well crafted alias to hide the fact that you're sleeping with Sam Winchester."
Jess's mouth falls open and Cas breaks out into hysterical laughter.
"Ah-you-why does everyone think that?" Jess growls lowly, her lower lip pouting out.
"You're in his apartment, you haven't been seen at Edlund Hall all semester long, and you're currently wearing his clothes everywhere you go. Yes, I noticed that those plaid shirts were ten sizes too big for you, Jessica," he says slyly.
She stares back at him and just shakes her head. "Fine, believe whatever you want to believe, but we're just friends…for now," she trails off, averting her eyes. "But that doesn't answer my question: what are you doing here, Castiel? It's 3 in the morning for goodness sake!"
"Look, is Dean there? I've got to talk to him," he responds.
Jess's look of understanding is colored with one of amusement. "Oh I see, you 'need to talk' to Dean. Is that code, Castiel? Was that eye-sex I saw at work today just an glimpse of what goes on behind closed doors, hm?"
Cas sighs heavily. "Just let me in, will ya Moore?"
"Oh, so is it true then? Castiel and Dean sitting in a tree K I S S I N-"
"We're not a thing because he was making out with Jo Harvelle earlier tonight, so I really don't need this right now," Cas calls up to her, cutting her words off harshly.
Jess pauses with her mouth in an o shape, all of her teasing air gone. "Oh Castiel," she says sadly.
"It's nothing; just let me up, please."
The Moore nods in agreement, meeting Cas by the door a few minutes later. She doesn't say anything as she pulls Cas into a hug, the Novak falling into her embrace. He doesn't know how starved he is human contact until that moment, his arms slipping around her back like they've done a thousand times before.
"I'm really sorry, Castiel," she mutters into his ear. "I know you really liked him."
Cas breathes heavily and lets go of the hug. "I still do, Jess. I still do. That's why I'm here, because I'm not about to let this just slide by. Is he upstairs?"
She nods slowly. "He's sleeping, but you two should talk. That chemistry I saw between you two today is not something I'd let go of lightly."
"Thanks, Jess," he responds as he makes his way past her and comes to the stairs. He walks up them slowly. When he's standing in front of the Winchester's open apartment door, he stops and stares into the space. In the darkness it is not as he remembers it from earlier; it's a lot more rustic than he thought, filled with lots of plaid and wood trimmings.
You're stalling, Novak he reprimands himself as he stands gaping in the doorway, his stomach flipping when his foot crosses the threshold. He makes his way down the hall and hears loud snoring coming from one of the open doors, a man the size of a moose sprawled across a twin sized bed. Sam Winchester he thinks to himself. He notices quickly that the man is just as gorgeous as his brother, the hair falling in his face making him look like some sort of model. Where did these Winchester genes come from?
He shakes his head and walks forward, trying not to trip in the darkness. Clothes are splayed all over the floor and Cas's foot gets stuck on a pair of boxer shorts as he passes. Please let that be clean he thinks.
Finally, Cas steps in front of a room with the door cracked. He glances inside and finds Dean curled up in sleep, light snores coming from his mouth. He looks so peaceful, so at ease that Cas almost leaves him be, until he walks forward a step and trips over the carpet. Cas spirals into the room and lands with a loud crash, jolting Dean awake from sleep.
"Wha…Cas?" Dean asks groggily. "What the-"
"-hell are you doing here? Yeah, I've heard that a lot tonight," Cas says a bit harshly. "I believe you're the one who wanted to talk to me, if I remember correctly."
"Uh yeah," Dean replies, getting up to turn on a light. "Just…gimme a second to get my surrounding together."
Dean stumbles back to his bed and collapses on the surface, muttering a string of cusses under his breath. He leans back and shoves his hands over his face, trying to clearly wipe away the sleep from his being. When he shakes his head and looks at Cas, he just sighs.
"Cas, I wanted to talk to you…about earlier. I'm worried about you. What happened back there? You left pretty fast. Are you okay?"
The Novak huffs out a harsh laugh. Is he okay? He saw the guy he may be slowly and irrationally falling for making out with some girl at a bar. Yeah, he's the farthest thing from okay, but of course Cas says none of this.
"Yeah, I'm okay," he lies with a smile, but of course Dean sees right through him. "I…I don't know why I came here anymore. I should go-"
"Cas, don't. Please," Dean says as he lays a hand on Cas's shoulder. "You're clearly not okay. Was it somethin' I did to upset you, because Cas you ran faster than a deer during hunting season back there."
He doesn't know what else to do, so Cas just spills out the truth. "Okay yeah Dean, it was something you did. I saw you…kissing Jo back at the bar and it hurt okay? I thought…you were into guys…into me..but you're not and it's fine; we can still be friends."
The Winchester releases Cas's shoulder from his grip but the Novak doesn't move. He looks into those emerald depths he know so well and tries to see into Dean, to find what is possibly hiding behind those eyes that look so heartbroken and sad.
“I do like you, Cas,” Dean says. “I like you a lot more than I bargained for, that’s certain, and I really don’t know what to do with it. I’m not one to really focus on feelings, if you haven’t noticed.”
"Then what happened in there?" Cas retorts, throwing his hands up in the air. "You invited me there and I thought it was a date, but then I find you making out with Jo Harvelle? What are we, Dean? Are we anything at all?"
"Do you want to be?" Dean responds lowly, looking up from under his lashes.
Cas stops and glowers at the Winchester. "…What did you say?"
"I said…do you want to be somethin' more? Because I've been with a lot of people, Cas, and I always find a reason to push them away. I'm not good for anyone because I'm walking poison with an expiration date attached and that always comes back to me. I push and push until people are so isolated from me that they don't even bother finding a way back, and so far it has worked out well; I can never get too close lest I hurt them. This disease is a time bomb, Novak, and if you and me are goin' to become a we then I have to know you're prepared to stick with me even when I'm about to detonate. I…" Dean stops, taking a breath and steadying himself on his knees, "…I really really like you, Cas. I want this, but I need to know that even if I try to push you to Peru you'll stand by me, even if things get tough. I can feel the end coming for me, Cas, and I'm just now realizin' I don't wanna be alone when that happens. So when I die-"
"If you die, Dean. If," Cas interrupts in a whisper, his eyes not leaving Dean's for a millisecond.
"Fine, if. If I die, I need to know someone will be there to pick up the pieces I leave behind. Would you do that?"
Cas grows silent and thinks over Dean's words. Just the thought of Dean dead makes his stomach turn, but being there to pick up the pieces? Could he do it?
He responds quickly, a warm feeling spreading across his body. "Yes, Dean. I can do that. I want this; do you?"
Dean smiles a little. "Yeah, I do."
"Then…do you want to go out with me, Dean Winchester?" Cas asks through shaking lips, the nerves rushing to his stomach.
Dean gets up from the bed and walks forward, leaning into Cas's space, bringing his lips to his ear. "I'd love that, Cas. I really would."
The smile that flies to Cas's face is probably ridiculous but he doesn't care. Confidence runs through his veins for a split second and he's hyperaware that Dean is extremely close, smelling like old leather and whiskey. It takes everything in him, but with determination he stares into the Winchester's eyes as he leans forward and closes the space between them, leaving a featherlight kiss on Dean's lips before quickly pulling away.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Dean," Cas responds as he walks out the door, leaving a very flustered Winchester behind.
