#chapter gags

[pafians-blog]

Junkie? Society?

Since this year has come to an end, I feel like I can write a VERY controversial article and get away with it. #YAS 

Today, I would like to talk about something that I have found very unusual at the school. A school, considered a sanctuary, is supposed to be a haven from the cruel outside world. Another word for a home, a fountain of endless enlightenment. But something extremely bizarre has been noticed by me through the course of my first year here at the A-Level Section. 

Now many of you might think that this may be something as trivial as the fact that the school cats receive more attention than any student. Which is true. Buuuut it isn't what I want to talk about today. 

DISCLAIMER: Pls don’t be offended. Please. 

Many of you may have already witnessed the band of  'druggies' that walk the school like shadows in the daylight. They seem like normal people when you talk to them... But even if you do have a conversation with them during school hours, I urge you to not take a single word they say seriously.... Because, they're probably stoned. But hey! They're still good people.. 

  They'll come out of nowhere, and they'll be recruiting their men to go hide at the shadiest of locations around the whole school, so as to avoid Miss Shazia. So kids, if you think that you've spotted a really neat crib for your squad to hang at. Then think again, if it's at a quiet place, it's already one of the rendezvous destinations of the 'Junkie Society'. SEE WHAT I DID THERE????? 

  And there's always that one poor soul that misses to be with the squad during their 'prime-time'. Because the kid's probably taking a class, or doing his homework or what not. And when he remembers that he has to be there or he'll miss his daily dose of ahem (sumthin, sumthin).. They rush to find the least occupied place in the entire section, attempting to avoid Miss Shazia's death stare, only to find that his m8's have started before him. LOL. LIKE HOW DARE YOU?? 

   And the only explanation that the others  are capable of conveying after is defined by this picture below.. 

  Jokes apart, though: the purpose of this wasn't to harm anyone. This is only for comedic purposes. Thank you for your time. 

Editor's Notes: I have no idea what this entire article is about. I'm only posting it in hopes that someone out there does. 

[pafians-blog]

Dear Vibrance,

You know that Vibrant thingy that was supposed to happen? Well, it actually did happen.  And let us tell you how lucky you are, for not having attended it.

After months of preparation, postponing, advertising, marketing and promises of #EmpoweringYouth and #ChallengingMisconceptions, The City School PAF Chapter finally - FINALLY - brought to you Vibrance.

And I’ll tell you the one good thing that came out of it - it's finally over.

（´☣౪☣) You wake up way earlier in the morning than you normally would, hoping to be #Empowered and your #MisconceptionsToBeChallenged, you reach school expecting preparations to be in full swing, and then – drumroll, please - you’re told that the opening ceremony is to be held in the resource room… *insert a silent pause of deep confusion* ....

And as the participants start to trickle in you realize why. There seem to be more Directors than the Participants themselves. Yet they're eager and prepared, to be #Empowered and to have their #MisconceptionsChallenged. And well, they are. They are #Empowered with the knowledge that their #Concept of Vibrance was totally, completely, brutally amiss.

The first round of photography begins. The #Challenge is to photograph the cover for a magazine. And what magazine might that be? Cosmopolitan. No, we’re not joking. Yes, it was Cosmo-freaking-politan. (“HUM KIS KE KAPREY UTTARWAEN??” one of them bursts out, in utter desperation.)

A while after this, the #Misconception of the above #Challenge was realized and the magazine was changed to National Geographic. The participants went off, trying to find something worthy of capturing within the red brick walls.

Meanwhile, the directors are confused as to what they are supposed to do and when Sir Adnan asks one of the directors what her duty is, she says, "mein bags check kar rahi hoon".  After a few hours of loitering around, their confusion clears up; they come up with a “brilliant” idea for a way to make this event go by. They line up to make a video of themselves dancing to Shakar Wandaan in the sun, shrieking with anguish when it's not perfect and then doing it all over again.

Oye Hoye,

*

Being bored of even this, they begin speculating over going to some Tea Festival. But basically all they do is sit around in the shade, wondering why fate decided to teach them the true definition of boredom today of all days.

The participants are forgotten and at one point one of them goes up to the Director General and asks, "yaar aap ne ye kiya hum ko jungle mein akele chor diya”.

Out of the only two people who registered for Graphic Designing, one of them decides to opt out of it and instead compete in the photography challenge since they are allowed to take part in only one component. And YAYYYY, so fortunate for the other guy who gets to go home with the winning shield; he didn’t have to do anything at all.

After what seemed like decades (and Mohsin himself saying, “end karo is chuss program ko”), the winners are announced followed by a warm speech by Mr. Simon Classy.

The relief that the end of the whole “chuss” event was euphoric. Thank you very much.

And oh, some very greasy rolls and juice-boxes were also handed to only the volunteers; the second good thing about the event.

BUT, everything put aside, the efforts of the directors cannot be gone unnoticed since they worked tirelessly for the event regardless of how it turned out to take place even after being canceled THREE-freaking-TIMES. I applaud you. 

Oh, and a special mention to Salar Siddiqui!! (only because of your puppy eyes)

[pafians-blog]

India Vs. Pakistan: Another One-Off Contest

A game of cricket between India and Pakistan is always fun. It is filled with lots of drama, thrilling action, and heated conversations that include crisp abusive language. It is the biggest rivalry in sports on the face of Earth without doubt. There is one thing for sure; a cricket game between India and Pakistan will always keep you at the edge of your seats!

Pakistan played their first game of Asia T20 cup on 27th of February 2016. Shahid Afridi was confident that the ‘selected’ Pakistani squad will sweep away the Indians. Legend says that he is still celebrating the 2 sixes he hit in the last Asia cup against India.  

The Pakistani squad that competed against India on 27th consisted of Khurram Manzoor (Who is this guy?), one hit wonder Sharjeel, Jaali professor Hafeez, the daydreamer Umar Akmal, Sania bhabi (Shoaib Malik), Shahid ‘Lala’ Afridi, Sarfraz Ahmed, the pacey Wahab Riaz, Muhammad Sami, Muhammad Amir and Muhammad Irfan.

This game marked the return of Muhammad Amir into the international scene after being absent for 5 years. He was handed out a ban five years back after being caught spot fixing in a test match against England.

India won the toss and MS Dhoni elected to bowl first. The Greens then went out to bat first. Sharjeel Khan and Hafeez were given the task to open the innings. In classic fashion, Pakistan lost its first wicket in the first over as Sharjeel was caught behind by Dhoni after a seaming delivery by Ashish Nehra. I was not surprised at all, quite a common sight these days.

The innings then picked up pace. I had too much soda before the game so I went to the toilet. When I came back, Pakistan had already lost 5 wickets. I only went to the toilet for 5 or 6 minutes just for the record. I then went to the kitchen to get some snacks and when I came back, I couldn’t believe it. Pakistan was all out for a total of 83 run with 4 and a half over to spare. The batting lineup of Pakistan crumbled like falling dominoes. It actually felt like they were competing among themselves who was the worst among them all.

KE with some classic banter:

I literally ripped my hair out when I saw this. My parents had to hit me with a bat to resuscitate me. Just in case, if you were thinking that it was Pakistan’s lowest score ever, it is not. Let me enlighten you that Pakistan’s lowest score ever is 70. You are welcome!

Let’s look at the bright side. Everyone got a chance to bat!

Now the thing is, batting collapses are normal and frequent in Pakistan’s case. But the thing that hurts the most is that the batting collapsed against India. Not only because they are our bitter rivals, have they had one of the shittiest bowling lineups as well. Hardik Pandaya, India’s best bowler in that innings took 3 wickets and conceded only 8 runs. What kind of name is Hardik anyway? What hurts the most is when we see weird Indian fans ‘celebrate’:

Muhammad bowled the first over for Pakistan and boy it was good one. He marked his return to international cricket after taking two wickets in the first over. Pakistani bowlers bowled very well. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw our team field. They were without phenomenal in field but the target of 84 run was not competitive enough for India.

Virat Kohli steered them to victory and was given the man of the match award. He didn’t say his trademark ‘********’. Amir was Pakistan’s best bowler with the figures 3-18.

Virat Kohli showed great sportsman spirit as he congratulated Amir on his brilliant performance. To be honest, I was least expecting this from Kohli. Kudos to him for this nice gesture.

I am pretty sure Ahmed Shehzad had a good time watching the Pakistani team crumble in his absence. After the game, most probably he would have muttered in his breath, ‘Aur nai khelao mujhe’ with a smirk.

The only positive thing about the Pakistani team in this recent encounter was Amir’s performance. He couldn’t steer us to victory but he did win many hearts. It was a pleasant sight to see Amir win back the crowd and shut up his haters. Let’s hope Pakistan crush India in their next encounter. Fingers crossed!