#chapter198

[djmilliel]

#chapter198 5 de Fevereiro de 2018 Copiar! Quando se fala de copiar fala-se de fazer igual. Neste momento surge-me uma pergunta, o que é que eu pretendo da minha vida, pretendo ser igual a todos os outros e copiar ou pretendo ser original na minha vida, e fazer valer o dom da vida, e fazer valer o que nos torna únicos, que no caso é sermos únicos, quer nas nossas experiências quer nas nossas ações, pergunto agora em qual das tuas decisões estas inclinado para decidires a tua vida? Em cada hashtag corresponde a uma plataforma onde estou a presente. https://soundcloud.com/millielmusic Muito obrigado 😊 #milliel #beatport #itunes #djshop #djtunes #traxsource #junodownload #googleplay #amazon #music #dj #producao #abletonlive #deezer #youtube #soundcloud #facebook #instagram #tumblr #googleplus #best #bestseller #download #listen #share #milliel #beatport #itunes #djshop #djtunes #traxsource #junodownload #googleplay #amazon #music #dj #producao #abletonlive #deezer #youtube #soundcloud #facebook #instagram #tumblr #vk #googleplus Muito obrigado 😊 por conseguires chegar até aqui. (em Madrid, Spain)

[chapter198]

Day 19: Dobby’s Warning

It has been confirmed, the Malfoys are terrible people.

“This makes the Dursleys sound almost human.”

Actually, Harry, it still kinda doesn’t.

“...his orb-like eyes aglow.”

Good description again. Aglow is a good word.

Dobby is that person who thinks they’re helping but they actually need to stop because they’re making everything so much worse.

Dobby is a meddlesome parent. Or Cold War America, I guess.

“You’ve just ruined the punchline of my Japanese golfer joke…”

Yeah, I’m sure that was a real winner to begin with.

“...tell Petunia that very funny story about those American plumbers…”

Vernon’s sense of humour sounds painful.

I get that Vernon’s an idiot, yeah? But. Why does he think locking Harry up is a good idea? Has he not learned from last year? His son had a TAIL. They had to board up their house.

I think he’s counting on Harry magicking himself into expulsion. Because he, Vernon Dursley, large and neckless, is an idiot.

Utterly.

Also I’m talking about the line between cartoonish cruelty and outright villainous child abuse, and let me just say that line is barred windows and a cat flap through which cold tins of soup are shoved.

We’re no longer in Dahlish territory.

But don’t worry. Ron’s here to show Harry what a real family looks like. Next chapter Weasley house!! (I really like the Weasley house.)

[chapter198]

Day 12: The Mirror of Erised

One morning in mid-December, Hogwarts woke to find itself covered in several feet of snow.

Having awoken, the castle stood up and shook off the snow. It was going to be a long winter.

(...) the Weasley twins were punished for bewitching several snowballs so that they followed Quirrell around, bouncing off the back of his turban.

Hehehehe this is possibly the only Quirrell-as-comic-relief passage that is funnier after The Reveal.

“I do feel so sorry,” said Draco Malfoy, one Potions class, “for all those people who have to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas because they’re not wanted at home.”

Okay, can I just point out how cool it would be staying at Hogwarts over Christmas? First, you’re in a medieval (MAGIC) castle in the Scottish highlands - it might be cold, but it would fantastic to curl up in front of a fire with the view from a tower. Second, you’d have the castle to yourself (for the most part) with most people away at home, so you’d be able to explore the castle and all its nooks and crannies. THIRD, I’d bet that the Christmas feast is fairly fantastic. 

That being said, I’d probably still pop home if I could for a bit and come back a bit early to enjoy the quiet castle. Harry’s going to have much more fun at Hogwarts than Draco will at home.

Harry’s going to have more fun than Draco ever has at home. Malfoy House sounds awful.

“[Harry] didn’t feel sorry for himself at all; this would probably be the best Christmas he’d ever had.”

Fact.

 “Be that as it may, fighting is against Hogwarts rules, Hagrid,” said Snape silkily.

“Classist bullying, however, is strictly mandatory.” This is the only attack on Gryffindor I haven’t been able to align with what we know about Snape. This one’s just mean for no reason.

“The hall looked spectacular. Festoons of holly and mistletoe hung all around the walls and no fewer than twelve towering Christmas trees stood around the room, some sparkling with tiny icicles, some glittering with hundreds of candles.”

1. I want to be here.

2. Festoons.

I will gladly join you amongst the festoons. :)

Oh clever - Flamel is absent from Great Wizards of the Twentieth Century, Notable Magical Names of Our Time, Important Modern Magical Discoveries, and A Study of Recent Developments in Wizardry. Twentieth Century. Our Time. Modern. Recent.

The Restricted Section sounds so interesting. Wizarding books would be interesting enough, but the restricted ones - I wonder what JK has tucked away in that area. Besides polyjuice potion and horcruxes.

I’m curious what the etymological differences are behind Merry/Happy Christmas. It struck me as odd the first time I read the books and saw Happy Christmas. Merry must have been picked up after the British came to America…? Any insight here, Kevin?

Other way around, I think. Like it was Merry in both places and the Brits moved to Happy. I say this because I watched A Christmas Carol earlier and Dickens definitely wrote “Merry Christmas” again and again in 19th century England. And I know “Happy Christmas” was said in Doctor Who in ‘66, and some old Beatles Christmas messages. So I’d guess Happy Christmas is the more recent invention I assume?

(several googles later…)

Hm. Sort of. There are theories that it was a way to take the drunken connotations of “merry” away from the greeting - and ALSO that The Night Before Christmas (1822) originally ended with “Happy Christmas to all.” In short, who knows.

Also in case you’re wondering, it does in fact say “Merry Christmas” in this version.

“‘We received your message and enclose your Christmas present. From Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia.’ Sellotaped to the note was a fifty-pence piece.”

Oh what is even the point of that. The postage probably cost more. Unless Hedwig prodded them for a return package. Good owl.

Ooh, the first Deathly Hallow appears 148 pages into the series.

“Hey, look - Harry’s got a Weasley jumper too!” 

Harry is officially welcomed into the Weasley family. This is an important chapter and we haven’t even gotten to the mirror yet! I kind of wish the mirror was a horcrux, or that we’d see it again… Imagine destroying the mirror, it would be so thematic. Smashing a basilisk fang through the glass, destroying what Voldemort desired the most. Fantastic.

There is a lot of potential in the Mirror of Erised. Perhaps its story just isn’t complete yet...

“A hundred fat, roasted turkeys…”

How many people stayed at Hogwarts over Christmas? Not such a quiet castle after all…? Even if it was one turkey to a person - excessive - that’d be a hundred people… Not possible. Alternate analysis: hyperbole.

Radical alternate alternate analysis: magic.

 “...Dumbledore had swapped his pointed wizard’s hat for a flowered bonnet…”

I’m just going to leave that there.

 “After a tea of turkey sandwiches, crumpets, trifle, and Christmas cake…” 

This seems to be taking a leaf out of A Christmas Carol, with all this talk of holiday food. I feel like we’re back in Victorian Food in Nineteenth-Century Literature. Idea. Wizarding Cuisine and its Origins in Victorian Gastronomy. Toss away essay idea for anyone at Queen’s taking that course. You can even use the French and Bulgarian delicacies from the Triwizard Tournament feast for broader scope!

Sounds better than reading Cranford, definitely.

Ron, full of turkey and cake and with nothing mysterious to bother him...

An apt and general description of Ronald Weasley.

“The library was pitch black and very eerie.”

Filch and Snape, patrolling the corridor after dark…?! Suspiciouuuuuus. Definitely the two most evil characters. This is proof.

Sounds exciting, and the perfect place to use an invisibility cloak. I would do the same.

“Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi.”

 I like that she used oyt twice like it’s an actual word. Clever.

 It is, as in Oyt ube, the wizarding video sharing site.

“There he was, reflected in it, white and scared-looking.”

...does this hurt the James-Potter-is-black theory? I’m going to say no. Because I like that interpretation.

I don't think so.

This is an emotional scene with Harry’s parents. Also a little unsettling - they’re reacting to seeing Harry in the mirror, but do they exist in the mirror or does the mirror create their existence in his mind? Very interesting magic going on here.

According to my copy of Wizarding Metaphysics by Cogito R. Gosum, the Erised Realm is roughly perpendicular to the Portrait Universe.

"Harry stepped aside, but with Ron in front of the mirror, he couldn't see his family anymore, just Ron in his paisley pajamas."

Harry’s greatest desire… a fanfic writer’s dream.

Also, Harry, having almost no memories of his mom and dad, just wants to see his family, and Ron, who has such a large family, only wants to see himself. Not particularly telling (fairly obvious the motivations behind this), though this subtly shows a key difference between Harry and Ron, which also comes into play later in the series.

Well… Skip back a bit.

“And I want to see all your family, all the Weasleys, you’ll be able to show me your other brothers and everyone.”

“You can see them any old time,” said Ron.

I still can’t believe we never see this thing again. SUCH A WASTE.

Well, after the ending of this book of course. But there is definitely another story in this. Something sinister with the Mirror at the Ministry when Harry is an Auror. First link in the HP EU chain - pulp novel Auror Mysteries.

“It was only when he was back in bed that it struck Harry that Dumbledore might not have been quite truthful [about seeing thick, woollen socks]. But then, he thought, as he shoved Scabbers off his pillow, it had been quite a personal question.” 

Yes, definitely did not see socks. I’m willing to be he saw something similar to what Harry saw.

JK has said something similar, I believe. Which is kind of a shame because that was another eccentric Dumbledore moment I really liked as a kid. But I do also appreciate that he plays up the “crazy old man” angle so he can be more Machiavellian on the side.

(What a cruel way to end the chapter, mentioning Scabbers, the reason why his parents showed up in the mirror to begin with. Curse you, JK.)

I’d kind of forgotten about Scabbers since last discussing him but I have to give another set of props to JK for actually making this first book so important in the grand scheme - all the Snape bits that align to later revelations, Scabbers, the Invisibility Cloak… and just being aces at crafting a story. I liked this book as a kid but my gosh am I enjoying an honest adult close-up look at the details of how she wove this seven-book beast together.

[chapter198]

Day 10: Hallowe'en

Professor McGonagall is like the coolest professor ever, buying her students broomsticks. Also favoritism.

Fun fact: I used to have a huge crush on Oliver Wood circa 2002.

Also I think I can explain Quidditch better than any other actual sport. Am I a wizard yet?

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you turn out better than Charlie Weasley, and he could have played for England if he hadn’t gone off chasing dragons.”

I’m just going to repeat myself again - Harry Potter. Expanded Universe. Etc.

Charlie and Bill have such interesting lives. I want to follow what they get up to. So as I’ve said in the past, I agree with your thoughts completely. Pottermore should be better utilized. Or just a massive set of encyclopedic tomes.

“Never forget Wizard Baruffio, who said s instead of f and found himself on the floor with a buffalo on his chest.”

What a great little verse to mention twice in 126 pages.

The moral of the story is that wizards abolished the long s as a safety concern in the late 17th century.

You are so correct.

I expected more details around the Hallowe’en feast. It’s the HALLOWE’EN FEAST. At a wizarding school. I guess JK does mention the bats and the black clouds and floating candle pumpkins. I won’t be greedy and ask for more.

I miss the phrase “troll bogies”. America is just a linguistic dystopia.

Wait, what does it say in your version?

Wild guess.

Um… troll snot.

Boogers. Troll boogers.

Bogies is better. No competition.

Philosopher’s is always better. That’s the rule.

I think this means we need to move to the UK. Also I think Ron’s advice from last chapter about dodging is still relevant here when it comes to trolls.

“It was as if Snape had started handing out sweets.”

Wonderful.

They only lost 5 points from Hermione, and Harry and Ron each earned 5… seems so low for a near death crash course in wizarding stupidity. I just had a thought though - maybe the amount of points one can earn or lose is relative to what year you’re in. Maybe first years can’t lose as many points as a fifth year, and the number of points you can lose or contribute increases each year? Either that or JK was just upped the points for no reason as the years went on.

In Prisoner of Azkaban they’d get forty for chaining the door successfully. In Order of the Phoenix they’d get seventy for finding the bathroom so quickly.

But from that moment on, Hermione Granger became their friend. There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.

Another solid chapter ending. Also I always like when kids’ books state outlandish things as fact.

[chapter198]

Day 9: The Midnight Duel

I want a Remembrall.

I’d be just like Neville, forgetting what I’d forgot. Pointless.

You need to install the upgrade, Remembrall 2.0. It tells you what you forgot. A necessary patch.

2.0.1 also doesn’t catch fire!

“Their teacher, Madam Hooch, arrived. She had short, grey hair and yellow eyes like a hawk.”

Is the only connection to birds here that Hooch sounds like hoot (as in hoot hoot bird noises), or is there something else my mind is grasping onto? It does say “like a hawk” in the exact same thing you quoted.

No, I realize that. I mean, is Hooch an avian themed word in anyway? It sounds like it should be.

I don’t think so. Just hoot hoot bird noises.

Of course Harry is the first ever first year to make the Quidditch team.

He’s the chooooosen ooooooooone. Get used to it.

Also, in the movie, they show James Potter’s name on the Quidditch plaque listed as a Seeker. This is, in fact, incorrect. He was a Chaser. This irritates me to no end. Just because Harry is a natural Seeker doesn’t mean his father had to be one too. Although to be fair, it isn’t mentioned in this book and they may have had to make up for what they didn’t know. 

It must be hard living in your head. (Although to be honest every time something in the Doctor Who EU contradicts something else I go whyyyyyyy so it’s hard living in my head too.)

I’m glad we understand each other.

I need to find out if it was known that James was a Chaser by the time the first movie was released. I will come back to this.*

In reaching the actual duel parts of this chapter, I just remembered the “holy crap” moment in Half Blood Prince with Sectumsempra - now there’s a good adaptation moment in the movie! Might be getting ahead of myself though.

“— and you mustn’t go wandering around the school at night, think of the points you’ll lose Gryffindor if you’re caught, and you’re bound to be. It’s really very selfish of you.”

“And it’s really none of your business,” said Harry.

“Good-bye,” said Ron.

Once again, nothing to add. I just like this.

Good partner-in-crime one-two punch there.

Ron had spent all evening giving him advice such as “If he tries to curse you, you’d better dodge it, because I can’t remember how to block them.”

This is your Rocky-style trainer, Harry. He’s a real champion-maker.

This is why Harry resorts to trying to kill Death Eaters with Expelliarmus the entire series. Once he learned to block, he stuck with it, because hey, it’s better than dodging!

All their problems - like Transfiguration homework, and duelling Malfoy, and losing house points, etc. - seem so trivial in light of later events.

I forgot about the forbidden corridor on the third floor where they keep Fluffy.

I remember all of this vividly from hearing it read chapter by chapter in class (and then reading it a few times) - this is the HP book I have imagined the most thoroughly.

“Between Filch and death, he’d take Filch.”

Great line.

* In an interview from October 2000, JK confirms that James played Chaser. Philosopher’s Stone was released in theatres November 2001. Unacceptable. 

[chapter198]

Day 8: The Potions Master

“Filch owned a cat called Mrs. Norris, a scrawny, dust-coloured creature with bulging, lamplike eyes just like Filch’s.”

It always threw me off that the British say “called” instead of “named” (Surprisingly still “called” in mine - but I say “called” all the time, don’t you say “called”? No, I say “named.” “His cat was named Mrs. Norris.”)

I think Mrs. Norris is a person trapped in a cat (or in the Taraverse, was Mr. Norris, the janitor - better fate than B’loody Mary or the Crookshanks curse though.)

I actually can’t picture Filch as anyone but David Bradley because it’s tied for the Best Casting of a Novel Character ever with about twelve other Harry Potter characters.

“Professor Binns had been very old indeed when he had fallen asleep in front of the staff room fire and got up next morning to teach, leaving his body behind him.”

 Hilarious. Just hilarious.

I wish he was featured in the movies. A dead History professor who keeps teaching as a ghost.

That’s such a funny line but there is no real way to throw that in other than someone saying it and it kinda loses something in dialogue rather than being part of the narration. Although imagine a montage of these little paragraphs where we see the midnight telescope stuff, Binns droning on, Flitwick falling over when he sees Harry’s name…

It bothers me that they changed his appearance mid-series in the movies.

Wasn’t he always Warwick Davis though?

YES. So I really don’t understand the point.

Oh wow I see that:

I don’t know why they changed him so much? Maybe to make Warwick more recognizable? There’s a side story about Flitwick and the Fountain of Youth in there somewhere I think...

(IMDB also just told me that he played an Ewok in 1983.)

Yeah, and he was something like eight when he did that (er, Googled it, he was thirteen). He was a big Star Wars fan as a kid so it was a big deal for him at the time.

“So many of you have asked me the 'New look Flitwick' question, so I will answer it here, once and for all. When it came time to shoot 'Azkaban', there was no mention of 'Flitwick'' in the script. However, the producer still wanted me to be in the movie, so he asked if I would play the role of 'Choir Master'. Of course, I said 'yes'. When it came time to shoot 'Goblet of Fire', the director, Michael Newell said he liked the look of the choir master, and from that moment, the character became known as 'Flitwick'.”

I don’t like that explanation. That’s such a dumb explanation. I blame Alfonso. WHAT ABOUT CONTINUITY. DOES CONTINUITY MEAN NOTHING.

Why didn’t they just say “oh we want Warwick why don’t we make the Choir Director Flitwick instead”??? Yes, let’s blame Alfonso. I have a feeling there will be a lot of that come January.

And a lot of this GIF to express my frustration:

That can just be shorthand for “What A Strange Decision Alfonso Cuaron Has Made Today”.

 Yes.

“...for another, they had noticed a funny smell hung around the turban…”

Ah, putrescence.

 “You — Potter — why didn’t you tell him not to add the quills? Thought he’d make you look good if he got it wrong, did you?”

Oh, now THAT is good foreshadowing and hinting at Snape’s relationship with Harry’s dad and such. Because reading that in Book One, you think “wow what a jerk” but after knowing that he’s expecting Harry to be a hotheaded bully, it actually seems like he might have legitimately considered that act a possibility.

Could have been different if he was actually raised by James. Who knows. Seems like no one realizes that this is all ridiculously new to Harry and he’s just as overwhelmed by the wizarding world as they are by his existence.

I think the points for not knowing about wormwood and all that were actually just Snape showing off and taking revenge. Or of course taking Harry down a peg (not knowing that he was already fairly level-headed to begin with).

I like how in the first book, teachers take one point away at a time and it’s a HUGE deal. The amount of points taken away is exponential as the series progresses.

“Snape’s always taking points off Fred and George.” HARRY POTTER NEEDS AN EXPANDED UNIVERSE FOR THINGS LIKE THIS.

Try fanfiction.net.

Fanfiction is a poor man’s EU. Like in so many universes, EU material contradicts itself and such, but in fanfic, nothing connects to anything else and it just makes you wish things were true that aren’t. But JK’s gonna hold onto that canon like George Lucas until she CGIs Harry and Hermione into a relationship and sells the rights to Disney.

I weep for the future.

Greedo shot first, and was in Slytherin ‘cause he was evil, obviously. Just like bloody Umbridge.

We’ll come back to Umbridge later. I will hold my house rage for now.

I will do the same, but I want it noted that this is done under protest.

A crossbow and a pair of galoshes were outside the front door. The Crossbow and Galoshes, solid pub name. Robbie Coltrane should open one.

I’d go.

“Hagrid’s big, hairy face..."

JK really likes that phrase, doesn’t she?

 “And did Hagrid know something about Snape that he didn’t want to tell Harry?”

Oh Hagrid knows so much about Snape that he doesn’t want to tell Harry.

Yeah…

“But he seemed to really hate me.”

“Rubbish!” said Hagrid. “Why should he?”

Yet Harry couldn’t help thinking that Hagrid didn’t quite meet his eyes when he said that.

...that’s not the most subtle but I think it works. Not all foreshadowing needs to be subtle.

I like that we get some movement on the titular artifact plot line at the end of this one.

10/10 for titular artifact.

I say this because it’s a different artifact depending on the version of the novel that you’re reading. Because who would read a book about a Philosopher durr durr focus groups

Boo market research.

And it is actually called the Sorcerer’s Stone in later chapters, in case you’re wondering - “As Harry moved aside, he felt the Sorcerer’s Stone against his leg.” - And yes I did pick the most suggestive quote completely by accident.

Is that immortality in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Yes that is enough intellectual literary analysis for this chapter, I think.

[chapter198]

Day 4: The Keeper of the Keys

I’m excited for this chapter. And it starts with another “BOOM.”

Another rifle! Vernon is “holding a rifle in his hands.” Are we still in England.

I’m reading the American version, so it’s actually the twenty fourth gun to show up so far. Many of Dudley’s gang members were replaced by guns.

“...his eyes, glinting like black beetles under all the hair” reminds me of 1960s Beatles hair. Imagine Hagrid with a John Lennon haircut circa 1964.

When I read it I briefly pictured a beard made of beetles. Our minds work differently.

I like how when Hagrid bursts into the book, he just demolishes the door, bends Vernon’s gun into a knot and essentially shatters the whole Dursley family plotline that has taken up the previous three chapters. It’s like “no forget these characters - MAGIC, Harry. FRIGGING MAGIC.”

Unlike McGonagall, Hagrid feels like Hagrid right from the get go. Also this feels extremely close to the movie, unlike The Vanishing Glass.

We’ve already seen Hagrid, mind. And he felt as much Hagrid there as here - gruff but prone to a brief sob. This is angry, bewildering Hagrid. We don’t see him much again throughout the books but he’s the best version of himself to make a triumphant entrance.

Good point. He’s also quite dark. “Go boil yer heads, both of yeh.” The implication of that is gruesome. Well done, Hagrid. Points for creativity.

The Floor, Hut-on-the-Rock, The Sea. There’s something ridiculously funny about this final address. Probably the simplicity of “floor” and “sea” as definite geographical locations. Good old JK saved the best for last.

I’d stitch that into a pillow. The Floor, Hut-on-the-Rock, The Sea.

A set of pillows, one for each address. Again, Etsy, probably.

We should start linking Etsy pages - advertising!

"Knew!" shrieked Aunt Petunia suddenly. "Knew! Of course we knew! How could you not be, my dratted sister being what she was? Oh, she got a letter just like that and disappeared off to that – that school – and came home every vacation with her pockets full of frog spawn, turning teacups into rats. I was the only one who saw her for what she was – a freak! But for my mother and father, oh no, it was Lily this and Lily that, they were proud of having a witch in the family!"

#BitterPetunia #Spoilers

“Could you write it down?” Harry suggested. 

“Nah — can’t spell it.”

Always liked that bit. No commentary here, just like it.

This part got shuffled around in the movies - doesn’t happen until later when it’s just Hagrid and Harry in the Leaky Cauldron. Not sure if I like it better that way, or this way, with the Dursleys in Hut-on-the-Rock, The Sea, UK.

They certainly don’t add much, but the scene with the tail fits nicely with them cutting off the very serious story Hagrid is telling.

Also, “the McKinnons, the Bones” and “the Prewetts” are all said to be talented wizards killed by Voldemort. Do we ever hear anything of them?

Absolutely.

…? Am I forgetting something? Prewett sounds vaguely familiar...

Molly Weasley was Molly Prewett. And she had two twin brothers who died in the war. Actually I don’t know if they were twins, but I’m going to go with that head canon. With names like Gideon and Fabian, I would expect them to be. Also Fred and George. I just realized the G and F similarities there. Definitely twins.

I was about to say that. That name drop is a good touch then. Like Mrs. Figg and all those other future tidbits hidden in book one.

Several Bones and McKinnons also pop up throughout the series.

Course. I ask because every other name mentioned so far (Sirius, Marge, Figg) are ones I knew came back later. Conservation of narrative or whatever you want to call it. JK’s quite good at it, even when she starts naming random characters all over the place when we get to Hogwarts.

There’s so many ties between characters, it’s really wonderful. Especially with the old pureblood families. JK’s drawn up some family trees and it’s fascinating to see how the families are all related.

I like that Hagrid snaps over Vernon insulting Dumbledore - and explains his admiration in the same scene. We could go into how justified or unjustified his admiration may be but it’s likely too early for all of that. Perhaps in a few months.

I anticipate good conversation on that point.

“Meant ter turn him into a pig, but I suppose he was so much like a pig anyway  there wasn’t much left ter do.”

Magic. These are the rules by which it works.

We’ve been talking chapter breaks and while this one’s not some big dramatic thing, I like that we end with Hagrid and Harry leaving the awful little sea hut and Hagrid saying something about his wriggly mouse-filled coat.

Well they’re not leaving quite yet - I think they’re toughing out the night on The Floor. I’m surprised the Dursleys let Hagrid stay. But I agree. This chapter ends on a satisfying, whimsically shabby note.

Oh, you’re right. I think the Dursleys scarpered actually. They’re not mentioned again if my cursory glance at Chapter 5 is any indication. Probably off seeking medical help for their newly mutated son.

[chapter198]

Day 3: The Letters from No One

"Piers, Dennis, Malcolm, and Gordon were all big and stupid, but as Dudley was the biggest and stupidest of the lot, he was the leader."

I know Harry called Dudley “a pig in a wig” but this description makes me picture them as particularly puffy jungle birds. All-animal Harry Potter? A la Disney’s Robin Hood? The only answer here is yes, let’s be honest.

Lucius Malfoy will be a peacock.

If all the villains are birds, it makes Slytherin particularly confusing in its mascot choice. Also kinda complicates the whole animagi thing. PERHAPS THIS IDEA IS NOT THE BEST IDEA, he shouted defeatedly.

“The poor toilet’s never had anything as horrible as your head down it — it might be sick.”

Sassy Book Harry strikes again. I forgot how delightful he was. 

You beat me to Sassy Book Harry with that one.

I also love that if you insult Dudley and run, that’s bewildering enough to give you safety.

Dudley’s wearing knickerbockers here, but there’s no glory.

The glory is implied by the presence of them (especially in orange). Also might I just note that once again knickerbockers remain unAmericanized. Whoever did the Philosopher-to-Sorcerer translation had a serious thing for knickerbockers.

Harry Potter: "What's this?"

Petunia Dursley: "Your new school uniform."

Harry Potter: "Oh, I didn't realize it had to be so wet."

Can we have a Sassy Book Harry tally somewhere?

We’re at like seven already. Pretty sure that in 198 chapters, it’ll be in the millions.

"The envelope was thick and heavy, made of yellowish parchment, and the address was written in emerald-green ink. There was no stamp.”

I want this. Can I have this?

Probably, if you know where to look on Etsy. What a great description though.

I know there’s a quill that takes care of this, but it really strikes me as McGonagall’s writing. Just because of the green tartan she always wears. I can’t remember if that’s something the movies came up with, or the books. I guess we’ll find out in a few chapters. I always liked that she wore green in the movies though - like it’s a colour reserved for Slytherins.  

The only colour reserved for Slytherins is EVIL.

"His face went from red to green faster than a set of traffic lights. And it didn’t stop there. Within seconds it was the grayish white of old porridge.

'P-P-Petunia!' he gasped, 'It’s full of stars!'"

Okay, I added that last bit but the Kubrick was just sitting there waiting for me.

“I’m not having one in the house, Petunia!”

Excellent.

“Didn’t we swear when we took him in we’d stamp out that dangerous nonsense?”

Well, he has a point. It will be dangerous.

Especially for Marge. She thinks she’s ill now with her “funny whelk”...

"The Dursleys’ house had four bedrooms: one for Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia, one for visitors (usually Uncle Vernon’s sister, Marge), one where Dudley slept, and one where Dudley kept all the toys and things that wouldn’t fit into his first bedroom."

I love that the Dursleys have more bedrooms than they know what to do with and Harry’s in a closet. Really underlines the fact that the beginning of this book was written by Roald Dahl.

“...There was a large birdcage which had once held a parrot that Dudley had swapped at school for a real air-rifle…”

WHERE DID THESE CHILDREN GO TO SCHOOL. THIS IS ENGLAND.

I want to know who made that trade. Because they won that trade by a landslide. Everyone knows it’s three air rifles to a parrot minimum.

I like that Harry describes Uncle Vernon as big and squashy. Squashy is a good word.

His face was big and squashy, not just him. He had a big, squashy face.

He also used fruit cake to try and hammer nails into the door, so clearly his brain is squashy as well.

It’s probably Christmas fruit cake, the hardest substance known to Muggle kind.

Also I’m still impressed with the letters inside the eggs. Genius.

Laid by an owl-chicken hybrid, no doubt. No, I don’t care that teleportation is possible. Owl-chicken hybrid. Read your Scamander.

“No post on Sundays,” he reminded them cheerfully as he spread marmalade on his newspapers, “no damn letters today —”

Figure 1.

Yes, thank you, Richard Griffiths. Most enlightening. (Digression: the casting agent who assembled the movies’ Dursleys deserves a medal.)

"[Vernon] had hit [Dudley] round the head for holding them up while he tried to pack his television, VCR, and computer in his sports bag."

 It’s 1991. How big is that sports bag?

"‘Shake ‘em off… shake ‘em off,’ he would murmur…"

He and Taylor Swift have this in common. Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate...

“I knew you were trouble when you walked in,” said the Sorting Hat, “Slytherin!”

“Daddy’s gone mad, hasn’t he?” See Figure 1. 

...Is The Great Humberto a real television show?

Nope.

This chapter feels a lot more thematic, even though the last chapter was also fairly significant in terms of plot and character development.

Yeah, this one’s a lot like I remember, hearing it read in Grade 4 for the first time.

I think it’s because there’s much more build up here. The relentlessness and ingenuity of these letters is the highlight of the chapter for me.

And Rowling’s moving the story ahead while continuing to expand on the whimsy of the world - fruitcake, a toothless old man with a dinghy and egg letters all play significant parts. And we’re not even out of Muggleland yet!

 ...not to mention:

"BOOM.

The whole shack shivered and Harry sat bolt upright, staring at the door.

Someone was outside, knocking to come in."

 Now THAT’s a chapter break. Classic.