merlin who holds onto his loyalty to arthur because if he didn’t, then what would all of the deaths he has caused be for? merlin who has basically betrayed his kind, but no it’s okay, because the ends justify the means! merlin who is fucking terrified of himself. merlin who wants to run every time he’s depended on. who hears the words ‘destiny’ or ‘prophecy’ or ‘emrys’ or even ‘I’m scared’ and hesitates.
if he chose either heart or mind, if he could have stuck with a path, then maybe they would have been saved. kill morgana or care for her, not both. help mordred or kill him, not both. but his indecision was the death of everyone around him.
merlin with a lack of confidence so bad that everything he is anymore is just a persona, an archetype of a fool he has been trying to fill for ten years. he’s the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth, but he’s so disconnected from the version of him that takes initiative, that acts from the heart, that stands up for what is right. he’s given so much of himself to these lies, shamed himself into keeping his magic secret even when it was better if he shared it, repressed who he truly was so much to the point where he doesn’t even know who he is anymore.
merlin who, after arthur dies, has to look at his hands, red with the blood of his kin, and realise just how badly he has fucked up. and then he has to look in the mirror and realise he doesn’t know who or what he is anymore.
This picture of Gihun in particular makes me feral.
The crease in his eyebrows, the faded sparkle in his eyes, the quiver in his lip, the scrunch in his nose, the blood down his temple and neck, every wrinkle on his forehead and cheeks, I want to take these details in little bite sized pieces and eat them bit by metaphorical bit.
No color in his cheeks, dark circles under his eyes, an expression of mania and exasperation that he refuses to speak about. He doesn’t have to. His face says it all.
While the rest of them are still in the oven, I've got a sketch of the main girls here. You may have seen Kratzer in my previous post, but she's far from being the only interesting Starling around.
Character yapping bits under cut 👇
STAR-SC407 "Kratzer"
One of the original dozen or so Stars deployed here, has been around since the facility resumed operation. Knows every nook and cranny of this place, including some she probably wasn't authorized to enter.
Almost too laid-back sometimes, a complete menace some other times, and hardly takes her position seriously. She would let commotions between staff play out before intervening (if anything actually happens in the first place), pick fights with other Stars, bother the staff... all due to the perpetual sense of boredom and pointlessness of her job.
Her somewhat disruptive behavior was what caused her to rank rather low in her cadre's internal hierarchy, but it only got worse when the wrong Starling was made Officer. Whether it was an oversight or a deliberate decision, it caused quite a lot of tension especially within the squad, and pushed Kratzer further down the ranks. She's pretty much their punching bag now.
Gave herself the undercut so it's rather choppy, but she refuses to ask anyone for help evening it out. Usually wears the rest of her hair in a pathetic little ponytail, minus the bangs
Her face scar was an injury inflicted by the aforementioned Officer Star. She has a few other scars on her body from various fights and frequently ends up at the hospital with minor injuries.
Carries a pocket knife she confiscated from a Gestalt staff member at some point and never turned in. She plays with it like it's a fidget toy
STAR-SC415 "Wolke"
One of the Stars who were deployed here after the field operations squad was officially created and the remaining Protektors were spread a bit thin.
Medium-to-high ranking within cadre, generally liked by them and everyone else in the facility. While affected by the sub-optimal decisions made about the other Officer, her squad cohesion remains pretty good and she has very little complaints about them.
Typically posted as a guard on the hospital floor. Because of this she mainly interacts with the medical staff, particularly Turmfalke and the Eules, which has had a major impact on her. There's a bit more warmth in her demeanor, she enjoys teasing and flirting with the staff to ease the tensions, and her smile will make every Eule in the vicinity swoon. Her presence is beneficial for more practical reasons as well, such as picking up things from high shelves or moving hospital beds around with ease.
She's probably the most Eule-like Star in the facility, while still distinctly being a Star nonetheless. She does wear her hair similarly to them, although with the classic straight bangs and a middle parting (it's also a bit more fluffy than average). She could almost be mistaken for an Eule if not for the armor and height
She has taken a liking to Kratzer in particular, having seen her in the hospital wing a lot more than any other Star. Although her teasing is typically met with scoffs and eye rolls, it doesn't seem to be enough to deter her.
thatttt will be all for now!! if you made it this far, i hope you like them 🫶 i have many more thoughts in my head and ramblings i left in DMs but i need to make sense of them first and finish some drawings so wahhh there is plenty more if people are interested
Conejurer cuz I’m like the sole Conejurer enjoyer apparently
I use he/any for them,,
He’s so hot I want him so bad shgkjasagjgsjlka
This dumbass with the cone on his head
Pardon me as I yap abt my Conejurer headcanons rq L ,L
So he obviously directs traffic. Idk what the occupation is officially called but like that’s what he does.
His traffic wand can change colours between red yellow and green, just like the music boxes can!
He also goes to raves and concerts that’s a non-negotiable
And she listens to vocaloid LuL
They like to do party tricks for their friends and for strangers on the streets
They also have a bit of the same magic that Artful has but he genuinely just.. doesn’t realize it? Like he’s actually just a dumbass and doesn’t realize he’s doing real magic
I’m still figuring out why he’s killing people.. Idk what motive he has yet but he definitely murders people. I want my hot twink to also be a mass murderer thank you very much
Also he’s probably afab cuz I’m a lesbian and like afab enbies
WHO IS THIS GUY TELL ME NOW (I saw the character sheet but still)
YYYYAAAAAYYYYYY!!!
Ok, so
Ollie Cicadett (They/them) is my silly cavity smp character that works at a zoo and specializes in bugs :3
They don't mean to be but they're a workaholic which leads them to be chronically tired
Despite this they are really quite patient and kind
At the zoo they work at as well, they have a sassy young coworker named Rye (She/They) who Ollie will banter with and chat with (lowkey their main friend ever and possibly one of their closest)
Also Ollie REALLY likes bugs and thinks they're super cool, it's actually the part of the zoo they like to work in but they work the others as well I guess
I never gave Zena much thought originally, but your posts have persuaded me and made me curious. Can you share some of your thoughts or headcanons on her!! (◕ᴗ◕✿)
oh MY IRENE!! GOSH! you don’t understand how long I’ve been waiting for people to ask ME about MY zena thoughts. I hope this is good entertainment.. I hope this lets you see what I’m seeing. ..through the process that I went through in order to love her character! information under cut. sorry for wall of text!
BAD ANALYSIS, HEADCANONS, THOUGHTS - in that order! please read aphblr i love her i want u to notice she has at least a LITTLE depth . I made it easier by highlighting the key points in pink in each paragraph.. you can only read those..
ONE . THE (typed on a whim) ANALYSIS !
zena is, at her core, a … kinda bad person. Let’s be honest. she’s BAD, disguised underneath soft words and cute outfits. but she isn’t terrible. she isn’t horrendous- she isn’t BEYOND SAVING. she wants to be better. she’s just lonely. and this all shown from her origins; cocomau. yep. the show with like no depth and just video after video with the VAs messing around with a semi-established plot. (with the tiniest breadcrumb from mermaid tales!)
EXHIBIT A : My NEW SISTER controls MONSTER HIGH: THE MOVIE! (her first appearance ever)
zena is shown as a humanoid ghast- the new girl, who’s bit is that she’s terrified of monsters despite being one, and also just trying to navigate her way through the high school. now, what REALLY caught my attention (because I didn’t care for her until I noticed this,) is how desperate zena seems to be for appreciation. the ENTIRE movie she runs around trying to fit in, and the exact thing that makes her fit in is matchmaking. although messily and.. the wrong way. because she’s setting people up with the ‘love of their lives’, people start to adore her- start to talk to her. and zena catches on FAST. soon, she becomes so absorbed in the new attention she becomes greedy. whilst her matchmaking solutions were terrible at first, it only worsens- relationships are toxic, and she sees NO PROBLEM WITH IT. (hint hint: has she been in toxic relationships—friends, family, lovers— before, so she sees this as normal?) soon she rises up to the top of the food chain because of her new popularity scheme. but here’s the kicker: the entire time she seemed to genuinely care for aphmau, no matter how many times aphmau tried to stop her. zena slows down sometimes, goes to ask aph for her opinion now and then. (unless I’m mis-remembering- but I DO know zena cared for aph) by this point, Aphmau goes time and time again to try and intervene and whilst zena may shut down her ideas, she still seems desperate for her approval. Zena’s first best friend. she does not forget who her day ones were, and she refuses to let go of aphmau. zena seems to be loyal person, despite all her other actions. (possibly because she knows what it’s like to be abandoned?? A reoccurring theme with her character??)
EXHIBIT B : You NEED to DELETE that message!
okay, now this one isn’t nearly as bad as the first- we’re back in another high school setting, this time with a bit more interesting plot. all I have to say is: zena is an instigator. at first she teases zane and Aphmau for talking by themselves, implying that they’re a thing . (zanemau crumbs) and then, later on, when aphmau was trying to confront somebody ZENA swoops in and starts pinning the blame on Aphmau, rallying up a crowd of people somehow and getting them to all gang up on her- leaving Aphmau to run out of the library. Nothing noteworthy here, but an example of the lines she is willing to cross.
EXHIBIT… ???? : MERMAID TALES, THE SOUL ECHO! (this is not cocomau, but just an example of how quick she is to harm someone if it means to protect herself.)
I just included this to point out how IMMEDIATELY when zena wasn’t getting the answers she wanted, she went to hypnotize aphmau. Now, from her perspective, I kinda would’ve done the same.. this woman stole the only thing I had left of my family, even if I didn’t have the object originally? SHE ISNT ANSWERING MY QUESTIONS??? I’ll just go to what I’m comfortable doing! but like.. still. hypnotizing someone (implied permanently) is pretty bad. and it was her FIRST INSTINCT, in contrast to many of the other characters who I could confidently say they wouldn’t revert to hurting the other instantly and quick. zena isn’t good forced to be bad. zena is good slowly turning bad due to her being forced to do evil things.. (if that makes sense.) also! how can i forget! “I would give anything for a boring life like yours! Anything to be loved..”
EXHIBIT C : We ADOPTED a HAPPY GHAST in Minecraft!
in this video, zena is the protagonist. ..behind aphmau, who is the happy ghast. zena is time and time again pranked, and gets so upset over it- only to be swooped up and helped by her new friend! now, the only reason I bring this video up is because of this one line that had stuck with me: “Are you leaving me too?..” now- take note that like NOBODY in this video has left zena like permanently. when the hangout(prank) is over, yeah, they leave- but such small things aren’t worth noting for such a BIG line. and it’s dropped out of nowhere. and it’s never to be explored again. zena has abandonment issues, and seems to be quite desperate to latch onto and stay with somebody who appears to loves her. and it IRRITATES ME HOW THIS IS NEVER EXPLORED CUAUSE THIS LINE WAS THE KICKER FOR ME.
EXHIBIT D : NEVER answer an UNKNOWN NUMBER at 12AM..
spoiler alert! zena is an actual yandere. tho I have to admit, jess wanted it platonic no matter how bad i ship zenamau. in this video, aphmaus friends are disappearing one by one, all the while aph just keeps getting creepy text from a number she does not have saved. who has been kidnapping her friends? ZENA! and the REASSSONNN?? “Oh, so now I’M the weird one for trying to spend time with you.” “But no- you were always too busy trying to plan sleepovers with your other friends! I just wanted to play with you..”
CONCLUSION :
zena is desperate for love. Badly. Zena is SO obsessed with the idea of being appreciated and adored, she lets herself get whisked away into her emotions and do whatever she thinks of doing first. from setting up toxic couples, to hypnotizing others permanently, to kidnapping her best friends own friends, from being desperate for a GHAST to stay by her side- zena is, at her core, a very lonely person. she can be surrounded by so many friends and yet still feel ultimately lonely because she has been with that feeling her entire life, even if only just implied. she has bad attachment issues, possibly low self esteem, possibly high functioning depression. (the possibly’s added because those are more headcanon territory. not the first tho)
and, yet, she does all these bad things but she DOES have a moral compass. zena wants ONE thing: love. and it seems that she understands that in order to have that love, she must listen to the others’ boundaries- their thoughts, feelings, because it’s what she has always wanted for herself as well. when Aphmau tells her that something is not okay, face-to-face, clear message- zena gets the hint and BACKS DOWN. (cough cough- ein?? as entertaining as he is..) not because of ulterior motives of “getting their trust”, but because she values the other as a person and wants to see them happy because they bring HER so much happiness. she is actively becoming a better person- she is TRYING. for her best friend, Aphmau. even if zena isn’t aphmau’s best friend. (as shown when aphmau calls KC/nana her bff instead over and over.) she gets jealous but.. she learns to control herself, and tries to be fine with it because she KNOWS that there’s no bond like friendship that borders sisterhood. She’s always wanted that for herself.
TWO . HEADCANONS !
ok.. these are all of the current ones I have. I’ll most likely make more in the future teehee..
1. alternates zena tended to the corn fields the most before leaving with aphmau- she got so used to the corn and most days all she would eat was corn! I think I put this in my discontinued gene x reader fanfic.
2. zena in general has bad abandonment issues. she gets scared at the slightest implication of being left alone again (permenantly) and she’s the type of girl to text you at 3AM asking if u still love her and then apologize for coming off as needy. has low self esteem honestly
3. zena in a modern setting like MID earth, mystreet, blah blah she would’ve liked to be a pilot. she likes the feeling of flight and the sky and she would’ve loved wearing goggles even if not necessary because it would match with the ghasts!!
4. she collects stuff of her interest- mostly things from the nether, but she really adores adorable little objects that she can display on shelves. Figurines, collectables..
5. always thought a farm would be cool. loves animals in general and finds most of them adorable anyway - and thinks maybe with the right tools maybe make a ghast area or just an area for flight creatures in general
6. Likes laufey she’s a lauver. I always think of her when “Too Little, Too Late” comes on.
7. she LOVES traveling. Like adores. you don’t understand he’s OBSESSED, and that includes incredibly dangerous areas like the nether. (as shown when Aphmau said the two could go to the nether together, and Zena got SOOO EXCITED.)
8. loves combining spooky themes with cute in her outfits. on halloween (her favorite holiday), she has the BEST costumes- because it’s fashionable and on theme!
9. if she knew about MCD (not in it)?? would find the shadow knights SOOO COOL. ..but only the idea of them! mostly. she understands that for someone to cause that much hurt, they must be in pain too- but that does not excuse the terrible things she did, even if she can relate on a heavy note. but like.. Zena would also be sooo jelly. shadow knights. KNIGHTS (knights are sworn to protect their lord- she only dreams of being able to keep her loved ones from all danger) in THE NETHER (her favorite dimension of all time.) she’d be hyped and put off at the same time.
THREE . THOUGHTS !
..I really love zena. she, at first glance, is a shallow character- and I understand some people may never be able to get over the fact that she looks SO MUCH LIKE SASHA. But she is not Sasha. she is her own unique person with much depth to her. well- I like to think, considering jess is HIDING SO MUCH OF HER AWAY FROM ME. but what really drew me to her were two things: her reoccurring themes of feeling unloved, and her effort to be better. she was a character that originated from a place with zero depth and just new story after new story- all kinda written in with shits and giggles. and YET. she prevails. she has depth anyway. even if just tiny little breadcrumbs I might have over-analyzed and jess has put zero thought into at all. I hope this convinced some people to be a bit more open to her.. whoever’s reading!
Their story takes place in a small town (population about 1k) somewhere in the northern US in 2006. Calleem (cal) is a giant boy who was born a normal baby, but then grew taller and taller. while Amy is a blind girl who had no friends, so she became friends with Cal. (I already kinda info-dumped about this in another post, so yeah). Calleem and Amy have been friends since they were 8/9 y.o. At first, they only saw each other occasionally since Amy came to town only during school breaks, like summer and Christmas, but she moved to town permanently when her dad got a great job opportunity. Amy was finally with her best friend in the world, but now she’s splitting time between high school and her giant besties. At least she has her other bestie, Cyanne, there for her! Meanwhile,e Calleem secretly has a crush on her, he would never tell her because if she doesn’t like him back, he’ll lose his first ever friend. Cal doesn’t have many people to talk to since most fear or hate him; that's why he has such a shy boy personality. Luckily, his highly religious mother is always supportive, and his other friend Cyanne knows about the crush and helps him from time to time. Oh yeah, right our side character Cyanne is a boy in the high school's soccer and basketball teams. Basically, Amy and his mom are high school friends, so Cyanne & Amy have known each other since they were babies, but he’s a nice guy and has lived in town his whole life. He was there when there were rumours of a giant in town who wanted to eat people, then he saw the news live when 7 y.o. Calleem announced his existence was real, but he was just a kid. Cyanne didn't really meet Cal until Amy introduced them, so he knows Cal is not scary but actually is just a lonely crybaby.
