#charscreams

[ralaferinmoved-blog]

trying to explain why my mother is ridiculously racist and homophobic and just generally a typical Entitled White Person makes me so fucking angry and upset

getting laughed out of the fucking room when i say that calling people fags and making a huge joke out of it isn't okay was really great thank you!!!!!!!! thank you i really appreciate that my entire family acts like this all the time and seems to believe that it's entirely okay for that to be a thing despite the fact that it really

really fucking

hurts

i need to do my fucking enligh assignment but i literally cannot do it without help and i'm not fucking getting anywhere because this ends up happening 

[ralaferinmoved-blog]

theres just no nice way to go about telling someone you don't want to hang out with them because social interaction during the week and one day into the weekend is already more than enough

i don't want to sit at home and not do anything but i don't want to fucking hang out with this guy he makes me uncomfortable in like 500 ways because of things that happened in like grade 9 LMfao lmao

[ralaferinmoved-blog]

if i combine all the hours of game time that i've got from both my origin and steam libraries, plus my hours from all my pokemon games its a Pretty Fucking Long Time but the saddest part is my friend who plays league of legends still has nearly a thousand hours more than i have with all my shit put together just in that one game

[ralaferinmoved-blog]

it's kinda pretty where we're staying

[ralaferinmoved-blog]

I live in a constant state of fear that I'm living my life one day ahead of everyone else. like I have to go somewhere Thursday, it'll be Wednesday when I show up

[ralaferinmoved-blog]

sometimes i go on runescape and just hang around in heavily populated worlds at the cows and steal all the kills like a general ass just to laugh about how angry people get

[ralaferinmoved-blog]

i dont know where its even come from but lately ive been obsessed with the idea of clear skin and being...........not butt-ugly and the more i look at myself the uglier it gets lmao i want tot ake a pair of scissors to my hair and just hack it to pieces 

[ralaferinmoved-blog]

i am so angry and upset right now the one fuckign time i was so pumped adna ctually ready to sit down and work on this dumb stupid assignment and its just Not Working for 3842309483490 different reasons and the person i was working with wont come with me to the library again to help catch up with the rest of the class

i sit down and instead of napping or doing other shit that i would like to do i try to do my work and its fucking up AGAIN and mums yelling at me because i'm snapping at her because i'm so angry and stressed that i can't even think straight enough to fix dads useless fucking printer that he refuses to replace 

this is why it's easier to not do anything at all and settle for C grades every fucking time theres shit to do 

im so unmotivated and i feel like the worlds biggest piece of shit because even though i'm not a great student i don't even have it in me to ask for help or do anything or make any extra effort and every teacher i fucking have either blatantly ignores me when i do ask for help or just goes over things too fast and i can't even Understand it in the end anyway so they just end up thinking that i'm lazy when its not that at all

i'm in grade 11 and its already the 5th fucking month and im so far behind and im angry and miserable because theres only myself to blame for it