my artistic representation of house m.d.
from the occasional tumblr post i see about it, and my friends casey and asher. never seen this show before. ahem.
patient: oh no i am Sick. I think my leg is hurting.
“hmm. *whacks patient on the leg* are you sure?”
patient: yes.
house: “i need to go consult my team”
*scene change. his team”
house: the patient claims their leg hurts.
“hm. want a cigarette?”
house: that’s what they used to call us back in the day. *turns to woman* hey why aren’t you in white?
”what?”
house: they say the dishwasher should match the other appliances
cameron: my kitchen is stainless steel
wilson: i ran Test on your patient
“i also ran Test2 on patient”
house: well , what did they say?”
chase: your patient has Leg Cancer.
wilson: or this super super super rare disease that only 0.0001% of people can have if their leg hurts and their left pinky is elongated
house: is that a cocaine joke? WAIT. PATIENT HAD A LONG PINKY. *gets the rare disease medicine*
*scene change: patient* patient: is it bad?
house: not if you take this Medicine
patient: oh i need the approval of my partner first
house: kids these days. back in my day, me and wilson just had a mutual agreement to always get treated
patient: my partner said no
house: dammit *scene change: back with medical people* house: they wouldn’t let me give them Medicine because of their partner
wilson: hmm what if we trick them otherwise
cameron: or we could just ask them nicely, tell them it’s a life or death situation
wilson: that’ll never work. what you really need to do is sneak up on them and slip it in
house: slip it in like you did last night- OH WAIT THE PATIENT HAS CROTCH CANCER
*scene change to patient* house: we did more tests. you actually need to take This Medicine
patient: my partner changed their mind. i can now take Medicine.
house: great
wilson: see. i can also take… it in the ass
laugh track
song plays, roll credits
