#chasing answers

[chasingshhadows]

Please tell us you remember the name of the "middle aged demon fighting mom" book!!!

I didn't! But Google somehow made sense of "novel vatican demon hunting martial arts" 😂

[forallyourikemensengokuneeds]

Chasing Answers Teaser

this is a new story that has not been released anywhere yet.

hope you enjoy. though it is a teaser it is long so under the cut.

 She was sitting in the back seat of her oldest brothers car going to the cabin he loved so much. She was going to spend the week with him as her parents had gone on a well-deserved vacation for their anniversary and the younger kids had been split up and sent with one of the older kids. As her parents had once said, it was the one benefits of having children for over twenty years the older ones could watch the younger ones and often did as a payback for the wonderful times their parents had given them.

Danny was her favorite brother. She had begged him to take her with him as the others all went to one or two of the others. Danny had smiled and fluffed her hair as he nodded. He had begun dating a woman who had kids around his youngest sister, Kit’s age, and they all had become fast friends. His girlfriend would be there this weekend as well. Though Kit had gone to the cabin many times before she wasn’t exactly happy about going there. The cabin was in the middle of nowhere surround by nothing but trees, and it could be scary at night if you looked outside. At seven, she had been deemed the child with an overactive imagination, and it had become a problem at times. She was easily frightened by things she didn’t understand. Danny had been the one to talk her out of some of her wilder thoughts.

As they neared the cabin, she began to feel something she didn’t know exactly what it was, but it seemed that something was surrounding her. She was trying to swallow the feeling, so she didn’t upset Danny’s happiness. She knew something was going on with him.

“This weekend is going to be special kid.” He said as they were pulling up to the long driveway to the cabin.

“Why?” she asked in her soft voice.

“It’s a surprise.” He said chuckling. “I’m glad you’re here for it though.” With that, the two settled into the quiet that could be only settling between siblings even if they were over twenty years apart in age. At twenty-seven Danny Jones was finally going to have everything he wanted and having his youngest sister there was more important then anyone could say. He had help raise her as she had been placed in his arms when she was only an hour old, and she batted her bright alert blue eyes at him, and he knew that he would lay down his life for the perfect creature in his arms. They had grown close. He had never missed an event for her, and she had spent many nights at his houses throughout the years. He thought more of her as a daughter than a sister. She was his.

Kit looked around as they got close to the cabin and felt the air that had changed. She didn’t want to say anything to him as he was obviously excited for many reasons she didn’t know. The air was charged with electricity around them. She was alert but didn’t want to upset her brother who had taken her on such short notice as she was supposed to go to another older brothers house along with two of her sisters. She smiled and forced the feeling away. She wanted to enjoy her time here with him.

 Soon the house was full of people. Danny’s girlfriend had arrived with her three kids. They were young like her, but the oldest was two years older. The two younger ones were only three and two, but they were fun to play with. Kit being the youngest in her family of her generation always enjoyed playing with little ones. She was a likable kid and Danny’s girlfriend, Che’re, loved her as well. Che’re was good for Danny Kit thought. She didn’t take anything from him, and moreover, she really embraced the entire family. She was a small-time chef in their small town and had made a name for herself though she also had a lot of questions about her past come around every few months. She had shown up in the town a few years prior with the three kids in tow, and she never discussed her past with anyone, except maybe Danny who had said many times he didn’t care about it. Danny had fallen hard and fast for the beautiful woman and had begun his conquest to win her heart from a few months of her arrival. It had taken years, but he had succeeded in the process. He had taken her children under his wing, and they had let him. he treated them as he did his younger sister, whom he loved as if she was his own child. Che’re had loved that about him from the start. His devotion to his younger siblings. It was what had won her heart as she enjoyed the younger kids in his family as well, all of which had been regular customers for years.

Kit smiled at Che’re as she watched the older woman work her magic in the kitchen for the family for dinner. Che’re was asking questions about school and other things as the other kids were playing on the floor when Danny walked in and smiled at the scene before him. “Che’re are you almost done?” he asked as he sat down at the bar across of the open range.

“Almost why?” she asked with a smile.

“Let me know when you are.” He said as he stood and went to see what the other kids were doing.

“What is he up too?” Che’re whispered to the young girl who shrugged her shoulders in response. Kit didn’t know what her brother had planned for before dinner, and she couldn’t guess either if anyone in the world knew how he was the most unpredictable person when he wanted to be. It was one of those things that she loved about him. He didn’t ever follow the norm.

The dinner was set on the table, and everyone was called into the room to eat. As everyone was ready to sit down, Danny dropped to one knee in front of Che’re. “Cher I love you more than anything else in the world. I love your snots as well. Will you please let me claim you all as mine?”

“Danny!” Che’re exclaimed as he finished and she clasped her hands to face as the tears spilled out of the corners her eyes. She nodded, and Danny swooped her up in his arms, and the kids all shouted in happiness. Kit stood there off to the side and laughed at her older brother, who had just got his family that he had wanted. “Kit get over here. You’re going to be my sister as well!”

The family all calmed down a bit to eat and then settled in for the night as the conversation turned to weddings and everything that goes along with it. Che’re’s oldest child, Nick, sat next to Kit, “so what does that make you to me?”

“Your aunt, I think.” Kit responded.

“You are younger than me, though.” He replied.

“Yeah so?” Kit said as she looked at him. “Age doesn’t matter.”

“So do you want me to call you Aunt Kit?”, Nick asked.

“No.,” she replied. “Just call me, Kit.”

“You know I like you.” He said with a laugh.

“I like you too, Nick.” She said with a smile. The air seemed even more charged then when she had arrived, but again she didn’t want to say anything to upset her brothers special’s day. She held her tongue and went to bed in the upstairs loft with the three other kids.  

 Late in the night Kit woke up to a sound she didn’t know too well. She listened for a few more minutes as she heard the scraping against the door. It wasn't something she knew what it was. It wasn’t a branch rubbing. She crawled over to where Nick was as she shook him. “What?” he grunted.

“Something is wrong.” She said softly. His eyes shot open and looked around. He then heard the sound and nodded. He went to wake up the two little ones, and the four kids went down the back steps of the house, and then they heard the front door open. They all shot into the closet by the hallway. Kit lifted the panel in the back of the closet that she knew her brother had built into the house. The four kids settled in as Kit placed the panel back into place. It was dark in the hiding hole as the two little ones clung to the older ones who were whispering words of encouragement to remain quiet. That was when the screaming started. It wasn’t a fight. It was the scream of being tortured and extreme pain. Kit winced, and Nick flinched as well. They covered the ears of the little ones as Nick pulled Kit closer to him and helped her with the little one in her arms. He wrapped his arm around her as well as Kit was silently crying with fear.

It seemed like forever that they had heard the last scream. They had heard them from both Danny and Che’re but more of them had been from her than him. They hadn’t heard Danny in some time. The house was silent again. There was no sound. Kit made a move to open the hatch she had placed.

“We should stay here,” Nick said.

“We need to do something they could be hurt.” Kit said.

“They aren’t hurt anymore,” Nick said softly. “I think my dad found them.”

“Your dad?” Kit asked.

“Don’t ask.” Nick pleaded.

“Let me go out there and see. I will come get you if we can leave. I know the way to the closest house. They will help.” Kit said as she pulled herself together. She went to open the hatch silently or as silently as possible. There was no movement in the house. She let her senses reach out. She crawled out, and she placed the piece of wood back in place. She stood in the closet and pushed open the door. She took a step out, and she knew something was very wrong.

The was a metallic scent in the air. She took a deep breath him and almost gagged from the scent. She crept down the hallway to the main room of the cabin. She stayed low and away from the windows. The young girl stood in the hallway in the doorway of the main room of the cabin what she had seen was the thing of nightmares. The bodies had been beaten and sliced open. Their blood was everywhere and was making it’s way to the edge of the hallway to where she was standing. There was nothing she could do but stand there for a few minutes. She turned to go back to the closet, they had to go. They had to go now. She knew that. Something had done thing. Someone had done this, and they might come back. She had watched enough tv with her other siblings to know that. She crawled into the closet and opened the panel.

“We have to leave. We have to leave now.” She said. Her voice didn’t sound like herself as she took the two-year-old in her arms as Nick and the three-year-old in his arms came out of their hiding place. She motioned to the back door.

“My mom?” Nick asked.

“Not now.” She said. “We have to go to the neighbors and call for help.”

“Kit?” he whispered.

“I’m sorry.” She said softly, and she could see him start to falter. “We have to get away.”

They opened the backdoor quietly. She again stopped and let her senses take over. The cloud cover left no light in the forest. It looked like a storm was going to blow in. She couldn’t feel anything around them as she took a step out and motioned to the rest of them. She made it to the edge of the forest in the path that she knew well. She heard the branch snap behind them as she turned to glance behind them and saw a shadow figure walked around the house in that moment. He looked up and saw the four kids enter the forest. Their eyes locked and nothing but fear surged within her. She grabbed Nicks hand and pulled. “He’s here.”

“What?” Nick nearly yelled .

“Behind us.” She said. “Come on.”

The two older children carried the two younger ones as they made their way through the woods as fast as their legs could carry them. They knew they were being followed as well. The wind began to pick up. Kit was sure they were headed in the right direction. She was pushing herself and Nick to continue. She knew what had befallen her brother, and his mother would happen to them if they stopped. She looked up and saw a crack of lightning before her. It was blinding. The next few moments seemed like they were not really happening. It looked like a doorway was opening before them. It was a tear of reality in front of the four of them. It was blocking the way to the neighbors. She glanced behind her, and the man she knew had been following them was within arms distance. She held the toddler tighter and grabbed Nicks hand as they ran right into the darkness of the tear.

The tear opened in front of the four children, and they walked out. They were on the edge of a forest with a million tents in front of them. It was daytime as Kit looked at Nick, who was already looking at her. She had blood all over her from when she had leaned on the wall as she crept toward the main room of the house. His eyes opened wide as she looked down at herself. They placed the two younger ones down for a moment and looked around.

“I don’t think we are in Kansas anymore,” Nick said softly.

“What just happened?” she asked.

“I don’t know.”  He said. “Whatever it might have saved us.”

 The soldiers in the tents came out with the small sounds of the children. “What in the seven hells?” some of them said as they looked at the children. Six men started to walk towards the children. They all had looked at each other and then back to the children as they walked closer to them.

“What are you doing here?” a man said with an imperious voice.

“Where is here?” Kit asked as she took a step closer to them.

“Japan.” One of them said.

“Wait, you are speaking Japanese?” she asked.

“Yes.” They all replied with a laugh as they looked at her.

“How is that possible?” she asked as she turned around to look at Nick, “You understand them?” he nodded.

“How is what possible?” one of the men asked as he bent down to her level. His light eyes were hypnotizing to her. He had a soft smile on his face as he talked to her in a soft voice.

“We were in America at my brothers cabin. Something happened, and we had to run into the woods to get away. We ran into a black thing and ended up here.” She said as she looked at them.

“She is telling the truth.” One of the men said as he looked at the girl. The others nodded and looked at each other.

“Come on, kids.” One of the men said who had a patch over one eye. “come on Kitten you need to change. Are you okay that is a lot of blood? Ieyasu you should look her over.”

“How did you know my name?” she asked as she looked up at him as he walked over to her.

“Your name?” he asked.

“Kit.” She said. “That’s Nick, Chole, and Ryan. They are my niece and nephews.”

“Kit?” she heard Nick say from behind her.

“Nick, let them help.” She said, and the young boy nodded at her claim.

“Alright, Kit.” He said.

“Your name is Kit?” one of the men asked as he walked closer. He was dressed in white. “Come then, Little Princess. We will get you cleaned up. My lord, I assume you will be sending them back to the castle?”

“They will be safer here.” The first man who spoke said. “From this moment, these four with be members of my clan.”

“Do you think that is smart, my lord?” one who hadn’t spoke before, “All the children should go to different clans. They can all be housed at the castle together but belong to other clans.”

“Smart thinking Hideyoshi.” The ‘lord’ said. “I will claim the older boy.”

“I will claim the younger boy.” The one called Hideyoshi said with a smile.

“I will claim the little Lass.” The one with a eyepatch on.

“That leaves you, princess.” The one with yellow golden eyes said as he moved closer to Kit. “I think I will claim you.”

“Thank you, sir.” She said as she looked up to the pale face.

$

[chasingshhadows]

3 and 14 for the analyst ask?

ooooooo oki

3:  What’s a moment you think is vastly underrated in your fandom?

OH GOSH SO MANY

Just one tho, I’d say 1.06, Liz crying in the gazebo about her mom during Prom. I grew up with an emotionally distant and sometimes physically distant mother, and that moment is so cathartic and relatable for me, and speaks so much to how Liz became the woman she is. The pieces of Liz’s distress and her mother’s abandonment are woven into a really lovely echo scene that often gets more focus but it’s one of the realest moments on the show for me. 

14:  What is your favorite thing to write about/analyze?

I do best I think with moments. I’m all about the little details. And sometimes I string the little details together into a larger picture, but I so love to just dive in deep to something seemingly minor and pick at microexpressions to give them meaning.

[chasingshhadows]

How about 1, 2, and 12 for the analysis asks?

oooooooooo fun ok 👀👀👀

1. What’s your hottest take? 

😬😬😬

Depends on the crowd to be honest.  My hottest Teen Wolf take is by far my summer metas. Basically the theory that Stiles spent his summer between season’s 2 and 3 working with and spending time with Derek, acting mostly as a research resource, but also a like, grounding human element within the pack. And of course means that they became closer allies, building trust, and maybe a little lust ;) It is basically reality in my head, even if it was never confirmed on screen.

My hottest RNM take is hmmmmm probably that Liz can be selfish, predicated on the understanding that selfish is not inherently a negative trait. Liz is very determined and self-willed, and also very assertive. She stops at nothing to get what she wants. She does weigh the risks and benefits, and only acts when she can feels confident there is less harm than reward, but she does at times put her wants and desires ahead of the desires of others (see: Grant Green). 

And I think that’s pretty fucking kickass of her. Women are so rarely allowed to be selfish, in life and in media, and women who are selfish are often demonized because selfish isn’t something women - especially women of color - are allowed to be. 

But Liz is selfish. And she’s still the hero of this story.

2. What’s something you felt strongly about that you changed your mind on?

I really really didn’t want to see a Miluca relationship in season 2. And I was fairly certain it wouldn’t happen, no way no how. I often noped out of fics that had a solidified, long-term relationship between the two, even if it ended in Malex.

(to clarify, I adored Michael and Maria’s relationship and its growth in season 1. I loved their friendship and their chemistry and the way it bloomed into something more. I went on extensively about this lol.)

But I thought that was pretty much where it would end and that’s what I wanted. 

But then I saw season 2 (read: marathoned it in a day) and I adored them. They were so good for each other and so light and warm and comforting and still playful and sassy and just. Good. I never expected to enjoy them in a relationship and I was so so wrong. I’ve always been a multishipper, so I suppose that won out in the end. My endgame Malex heart still beats, but gosh, Maria and Michael were incredible to see.

12. Has there ever been a betrayal of narrative structure that disappointed you?

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Yeah, you could say that. Apologies if this was asking about RNM but YO I AM STILL SALTY ABOUT TEEN WOLF.

Teen Wolf is one of the most egregious cases of early season potential squandered in later seasons, and one of the few cases of queer-baiting that the entire fandom world can agree on. In so many ways, that show was a disappointment. 

But the straw that broke the camel’s back for me was Allison’s death. After that, I just couldn’t hack it. I couldn’t hang on for the Sterek anymore, I couldn’t hang on for my love of Lydia and they took away my Allison. Nearly every white male main that left, they left a door open for them to come back (or in Peter’s case, took a sledge hammer to the wall), but that they killed Allison, and in the way that they did, was a betrayal to the character, the actress, the show, and the fandom. It was devastating and I’ve still not recovered. That episode is why I do not watch any television shows live.

[chasingshhadows]

Here is music nonnie ❤️ I ... (flails) ... this... incoherent high pitch noises ... clears throat. This is a lovely gifset. I love it so much!!!! 😍 Just... the scenes and lyrics you picked were perfect! This made me so happy! Thank you so much for dedicating it to me. I feel so honored. This was beautiful. Not to sound greedy but please keep considering making a season 2 set from Alex’s point of view. It would be so good🥺 But this is also awesome on its own. All the love 💗 🥰

i’m a blushing flailing mess right now, thank you so much 😭🥰

i may or may not already be plotting it out 👀 no promises on timing tho cuz i’ve still only seen season 2 like one and a half times

i’m like literally sitting here in my chair hugging myself bc i can’t hug you. safe to say this has ignited a spark 💜💜💜💜

[chasingshhadows]

Ok, so What Could’ve Been by Gone West is now on my playlist and I just heard it then the music ends and Spotify starts playing What Hurts the Most by Rascal Flatts which also gives me Malex feels. Speaking of which have you heard I'm Never Getting Over You by Gone West? If not, please do. I would love to hear what you think about it. It gave me a lot of feelings. Thanks again for introducing me to this band :)

aslkdjflas;kdjf;lasdkjflasdjfa 

Nonnie you are my new favorite, I need you to know this

What Hurts The Most is one of the Rascal Flatts songs *ever* and I am dying at the Malex of it all:

What hurts the most was being so close And havin' so much to say And watchin' you walk away And never knowin' what could've been And not seein' that lovin' you Is what I was trying to do

*cue endless sobbing* 😭😭😭

AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR BRINGING UP I’M NEVER GETTING OVER YOU because YES I have heard it but I’d actually only heard the Colbie Caillat solo version and was not aware she also did a version with the whole band. Love it. 

and lol. Yes. So many fucking feels. So many, in fact, I’d already pulled caps for a Malex gifset almost a year ago (*hides face in shame of all my WIPs)

bless you music nonnie, and thank you for the kick in the ass to finally actually make the set.

I’ve got like, probably two dozen or more additional song sets I want to do that hopefully I’ll find the spoons for now that I’ve got all the season 2 content to play around in 👀👀👀

[chasingshhadows]

okay, but can we talk about tiny!michael's terrible and hilarious wig?

ok so like - fair.

Exhibit 1:

but in the show’s defense how in the world could they have possibly matched the splendor that is Michael’s real curls?

lemme pass this over to @bisexualalienblast for Exhibit 2.

[chasingshhadows]

How would you summarize Michael's story line in season one? What was his main arc over the course of 13 episodes?

So ngl this is actually really hard for me to answer. Because unlike a lot of other aspects of this show, this doesn’t seem clear to me, at least not at first.

When I think about Alex’s storyline, or Max’s, or Liz’s, or Kyle’s, or Isobel’s or even Maria’s - they’re easy. They have defined start and end points, and a progression of internal development, reactions, and behaviors to bring them from point A to point B.

Whereas when I think of Michael’s, his starting and ending points are....  different. He starts in a drunk tank. He starts angry. He starts disconnected emotionally and in many ways physically from everyone that he cares about, with self-professed habits of losing himself in drugs and warm bodies. He starts heartbroken and yearning.

And he ends the season in a different place, certainly. He ends it absolutely and thoroughly wrecked. Every single thing he thought he knew about the world has been flipped on its head and blown to pieces - literally, in some cases. He ends the season looking for a quick fix, an easy moment of peace from all the demons swirling in his mind. Maria and music are not a typical intoxicant, but it’s essentially what he needs them to be right now. 

But I think what’s so different about Michael’s arc is that, especially at the end of the season, so much of his story is about things that happen to him, and not what he’s doing. Michael’s story, and life, is entirely out of his own control, moreso than I think anyone else’s. And unlike the others, when he tries to take control, he doesn’t achieve any kind of progress or development. 

Isobel and Alex I think are the other two characters who most have storylines in which they lack agency and control for much of their past (and some of their present), but both in this season take control in a way that yields results and pushes their story forward. 

Isobel takes control of her blackouts and places herself out of reach from society (and inadvertently, from Noah). She takes control of the situation with Noah at the end and wrestles even his emotional hold on her from him in his last moments. 

Alex obviously takes control of his relationship with his father and later of the legacy left at his feet. He even attempts to take control of his relationship with Michael, not from Michael, but from his trauma and their past.

But the few times Michael tries to take control, either nothing happens, or he makes things worse - this is not me blaming him (please, have you met me?), just an observation of what occurs. 

It was Liz that instigated the two of them working together to save Isobel. He entirely lets Alex control the state and nature of their relationship, lets him set the boundaries and he respects those. He follows Max to Texas to look for help for Isobel. He follows Alex to Caulfield to look for answers on the crash. By his own admission, he’s let Max dictate the rules for most of their life, even if he didn’t always follow them, he never actively fought them. 

He tries to take control of Max telling Liz the alien secret by knocking the windows out of that car, but Max still tells her. When he decided to take control of the alien murder mystery, he was talked out of it almost immediately. He swears to take control of Isobel’s blackouts, but he quite literally has no power to stop them, and she takes that control back in episode 7. He tries to take control with Noah and it nearly ends in his death.

Even as a kid, he tried to take control of Jesse’s abuse of Alex and we know how that turned out.

So Michael’s arc is marked by a consistent pattern of external progression and his constant attempts to keep up, to endure, to “survive it”. 

Carina joked once that throughout the entire first season every person in Roswell tries to tell Michael they care about him, that they see him as family, and that certainly plays a part in his story, but at the end of the season, Michael still sees himself as unloved and unwanted, and seeks a way to leave.

But his reasons for leaving (family and home) are literally blown up in front of him, and he still can’t truly believe that those who care about him actually do - not Alex, not Max & Isobel, certainly not Liz. I think he believes Maria cares for him, but she doesn’t know him like the others do either - she only knows what he’s let her see. And that’s probably comforting, that he’s been able to control that little tiny aspect of his life. It’s probably a large part of why, at the end of a single day marked by death and chaos, that he seeks her out.

And Michael’s absolute lack of control over anything in his life is ironic considering is rock-solid control over his powers. And while I think that control stemmed directly out of necessity due to his environment, there’s probably a psychological piece to it, of him seeking to control the one and only thing in his life that he can control. 

So. In summary (lol), I think Michael’s main arc over the first season is hard to pin down. It’s a roller coaster of ups and downs (mostly downs) that slowly and not-so-slowly spirals downwards with him reaching his absolute Rock Bottom. It’s him being stripped of all the things that motivated him - leaving the planet to find his family (who died at Caulfield), protecting Isobel (who’s taken over protecting herself), and his feelings for Alex (who has told him they are over, that he wants to just be friends, (which is Michael’s understanding and not Alex’s intention)). 

It’s not that I don’t think Michael has grown - he absolutely has. He’s grown in allowing Isobel her agency. He’s grown in finally revealing the secrets he’s hated keeping for 10 years - from Isobel, from Alex, from Max. He’s grown in his relationship with Max and their brotherhood. He’s even grown in his relationship with Alex, in finally showing any kind of resistance to Alex’s habit of coming and leaving (again, this is Michael’s perspective). 

But that growth is fragmented and disconnected and doesn’t, I believe, lend itself significantly to where we see Michael land at the end of the season.

Because what we see at the end of the season is a broken man falling back on self-destructive habits and temporary fixes to long-term problems. Which I think we can all agree will only get worse once he discovers that his brother died bringing a dead girl back to life.

I hope that answers your question and apologies for utterly failing at the concept of “summary.”