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Sometimes there are just things you feel necessary to catalog somewhere. This is one of those things.

The other day, I (finally) emailed Aline back about Thor: The Dark World. Word vomit happened. 7 pages of word vomit. And I figure one day, I may want to remember how (even over a month later) this movie made me feel.

THOR.

Let us start at the beginning of your email: Jane & Darcy.

Jane. I have recently discovered through Tumblr that a lot of people hate Jane. Those people can go fuck themselves. Jane is the SHIT. Smart as shit motherfucking badass scientist WOMAN whose research is good enough to be studying the same shit the scientifically-eons-ahead-of-us-pitiful-mortals aliens are. Fuck that. BAMF. She gets to be strong and smart and independent and inquisitive and also emotionally fragile and hurt by a guy that said he’d come back for her. Booya. Sidenote: the only thing that I didn’t LIKE about Jane in this movie, and I blame the writers for this, is just that ONE line that Darcy throws out. At the end of Thor, Jane is shown immediately running around, searching for Thor through scientific means: meaning she picks up her research immediately and just RUNS with it. Awesome. She gets to kiss the guy, the guy leaves, and she’s right back to being a badass scientist. Jane is nowhere to be found in Avengers, but Coulson actually does mention that they sent her away from NY, to another country, to follow some scientific lead/study. Great, awesome; one year later and Jane’s still being an awesome scientist, woo. Then in TDW, Darcy lets loose with the fact that Jane hasn’t touched her scientific equipment since New Mexico and has been moping around her Mom’s house in pajamas for 2 years depressed that Thor hasn’t come back. Now. You know what. That’s fine, really. A woman as strong as Jane is still allowed to be emotionally hurt and thrown into depression from a guy; people who are saying otherwise can go to Hell. But…it’s completely OUT of her characterization. Like, it fucking contradicts what’s come previously, and that really pisses me off, cause it makes her SEEM like Thor left her and she got so sad, she stopped all her scientific stuff. Fuck that, writers, who the fuck wrote that line into that scene? Piss me off. /end rant. ANYway. She’s great in this: she discovers the Aether, she harbors the Aether and survives, she still acts like a happy little kid who is excited she understands alien tech (the scene where she just smiles at Thor all “quantum field generator!” Fucking love. And he just grins back at her), SHE gets them off Svartalfheim, and SHE is the one conquering most of the Dark frickin Elves on Earth. Plus, “Seaaaaaaaaaa BASS.” BOOYA, Jane.

Darcy. Jesus Christ, I fucking love Darcy. She was awesome in the first movie and even better here. She’s like the fandom narrator and it’s fabulous. Her snark & her dry wit are just my favorite things. When she interrupts their dinner at the restaurant? Love. Her crazy driving. Love. Her unceremoniously getting her own intern and pushing him around. Love. “Gimme your shoe.” Love. “How’s space?” “Space is fine.” Love. Her getting Erik out of the loony bin. Love. MEOW MEOW! Lovvvvvvve. Her kissing the intern and dropping him at the end. LOVE. I just LOVE her. I love the way she talks, I just love everything. LOL.

HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW ZAC WAS FANDRAL?! LOL. Yeah, they couldn’t get Dallas back cause of Once Upon A Time, so they went to Zac and blonde’d the crap outta him. LOL. He looks so different like that.

We’re going to skip Loki for a second cause HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.

Malekith. Eccleston was goooood! (Though I could totally also see Mads doing it now.) I love that they gave the Dark Elves their own language. Which he rocked with that deep voice. His presence was perfectly imposing, you know? Like, Adewale fucking TOWERS over him and shit, but you still are like, ah crap, here comes Malekith. LOL. Sidenote: apparently the whole deal with the Dark Elves is that they LITERALLY cannot THRIVE in the light. THAT is why they want to return the world to darkness. WHY they chose to cut that the fuck out of the movie, I have NO idea; to me, that seems ridiculously vital, but I also believe they cut a SHITLOAD out of the movie that should’ve been there. I enjoy this movie, truly, but it was far too rushed and I’ve READ some of the things they cut that they definitely should NOT have. ALWAYS go for explaining characterization, guys. Always.

FRIGGA. JESUS CHRIST ON A MOTHERFUCKING CRUTCH, FRIGGA. Words. Cannot begin to EXPRESS my now-utter undying love for Frigga. I just…I fucking can’t. I truly truly can’t. Let’s talk about how she will always love Loki. He will always be her son, no matter what he’s done. How, regardless of her husband, her KING’S decrees, she will not stay away from him. Odin can keep her out physically, but she still manages. SHE sends all those nice things to his cell: the furniture and all the books to keep him busy. And she still visits him in her own way: he gets to have outside contact with his mother, who he truly does love with all his heart. And out of EVERYONE, FRIGGA is the one who fucking understands Loki the most. Thor will love Loki forever, but judges him on his actions. Frigga, if she judges her son, does not let that influence her at fucking all. He can scream in her face that she’s not his mother and she just SMILES at him. Because she knows him INSIDE OUT. And she hits the motherfucking nail on the head: Loki is SO frighteningly perceptive of every single person around him…but not of himself. Frigga knows why he hurts, why he does the things he does, what’s really behind his yells and anger; she sees the tears in his eyes when he tells her she’s not his mother. She knows damn well that he’s saying it outloud to attempt to make it true, when in his heart, she’ll always be his everything. And all she has to say is a few small words and hold out her hands, and Loki breaks. The tears start to fall, his head goes down, cause he knows Mommy is right. And he tries to touch her and can’t and BUH BYE, FEELINGS.

Anyway. Back to Frigga. BAMF. BAMFITY BAMF BAMF. QUEEN BAMF. Odin, the ninny. King of the Gods and still fuckin’ shit up. Frigga knows exactly wtf their enemy is gonna do when he gets there: go straight for what he wants. So she snatches a damn sword from a warrior and drags Jane inside, already with a plan. Now, as many have pointed out, Frigga is also the goddess of prophecy; now, they’ve never stated this in our movie-canon, so they may NOT have been playing it that way. But if you go that route, she knew all this was going to happen and still made the sacrifice-play to save Jane and her kingdom. Kill me. So she tells Jane to listen to her and faces their enemy alone. BEST PART? BEST PART? BEST PART?!?! FRIGGA THE BAMF WITH A SWORD. Her first strike draws blood, her second strike disarms him, and then she has him at her mercy within roughly FIVE FUCKING SECONDS. QUEEN OF THE GODS, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN. Does she sit on her throne and act pretty? NO. SHE”S A MOTHERFUCKING WARRIOR. Within 5 seconds, she BESTS and DEFEATS their eternal enemy. Like, holy SHIT, man. If Kurse didn’t show up, that would’ve been IT. That would’ve been the frickin END of it. BOOM, bitch faces Frigga and goes DOWN. Sucks for YOU, Malekith. But instead, of course, Kurse, blerg. And all she does is grin at her enemy, knowing that she’s outsmarted him; stares him straight in the eye and accepts her fate. (Odin, could you BE any slower in getting there?) Her funeral, I still can’t handle. I hear that music and cry. It was SO gorgeously gorgeously done, with the night sky and the stars and the music and the boat-pyre and the light tribute. I can’t. Perfection.

**Let it be known that that took me an hour to write and then I took a break cause my hand was cramping. This is why I knew I needed a serious amount of time to be set aside to write this email.**

I…I’m really almost afraid to approach the topic of Loki. Truly. Because…it’s all just this giant rush of emotions and feelings that I can’t handle and it all hits at ONCE and I have a hard time putting it into words. Eeep. Damn him. So we’re just gonna start from the beginning.

Loki. First scene after the prologue, last scene before the credit tags. Heh. Atta boy. I…have no problem with snarky Loki in chains, let’s just put that straight out there. LOL. There he is, in frickin chains, standing at Odin’s feet awaiting judgment and he’s still a snarky little shit just making things worse. LOL. There he is, throwing shit back at Odin, actually SMILING…until Odin says he’ll never see Frigga again. THAT’S when he tears up. The Frigga threat and then realizing that Thor STILL wins over him. I can’t, really. Loki in the cell with Frigga; I’ve already vomited all over that fucking scene. Him pacing like a spoiled prince, yelling his teenage angsty, self-indulgent, entitled feelings at his Mom. I mean, REALLY. Then he & Kurse have a stare-off. LOL. I’ve seen a lot of people say, “OMG, Kurse takes one look at him and is like, omgz, no way am I letting him out that’s how much of a badass he is teehee!” Uh. No. I totally disagree. I think Kurse took one look at this guy that clearly is Asgardian sitting around in a posh cell with books and shit and denies the FUCK outta that; he knows nothing about Loki. If an Asgardian is sitting around in a cell, to let him loose is too much of a liability; he could be in there for trying to steal a loaf of bread, who knows. He could be set free and work AGAINST Kurse and shit. No. Don’t take the risk; leave him in the cell. Meanwhile, Loki just grins down at him. If Kurse lets him out, awesome; he’s free to wreak havoc. If not, he gets to sit back and watch all the chaos anyway; it’s win/win for Loki. That little shit just around by his energy window fucking flipping the pages of his book while they rioted, I mean, COME ON. LOL. So he sends Kurse in the direction of the force field generator and fucks up everything, the end result being Frigga.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, THE SCENE WHEN THOR VISITS HIM IN THE CELL. I’VE SEEN THE MOVIE 5 TIMES NOW AND I STILL CAN”T HANDLE IT, ALINE. “No more illusions, Loki.” And BOOM. Loki just drops the magic; it’s not even worth the effort to bother with the unfazed façade; he’s in too much pain. Illusion dissolves and there he is, against the far wall, disheveled, clothing torn, body bruised and wild and bloodied…all his furniture is broken and overturned. He’s CLAWED. AT. THE WALLS. OF HIS CELL. You don’t understand how much that killed me. I mean, that shit was shown long before the movie, the state of his cell. But you just assume that Loki is so frustrated with being locked up, that’s what he did to it. NOPE. Loki was his typical calm, cool, and collected self. IT WAS HIS GRIEF OVER HIS MOTHER THAT MADE HIM TEAR AT THE WALLS LIKE A WILD ANIMAL. DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I CAN’T EVEN FUCKING HANDLE THAT?! “Now you see me, brother.” And then afterwards, the FIRST thing out of his mouth is, “Did she suffer?” And he just looks at Thor, pleading. There’s no tricks there, no lies, no façade, no nothing. Just pain. Just pain cause he needs to know how it went down.

And then of course, Thor lets him out, and he’s like an excited puppy again. LOL. Jerk. I LOVE the bit in the hallway, where he keeps changing forms. THE CAPTAIN AMERICA BIT?! I will still laugh my ASS off at that. I know you were avoiding spoilers and I kept tagging my shit with that, so do you know how that went down? They had Tom film that; so that was Tom as Loki doing his impression of Chris Evans as Cap. Tom INSISTED on putting the suit on. Hems was like, “Tom, mate, they’re gonna edit you out; you don’t need to be in the suit.” And he went, “NO THIS IS THE ONLY TIME I’LL EVER GET TO WEAR IT I’M PUTTING THE SUIT ON.” Then they filmed Evans separately, didn’t even fly him down, just filmed him in a studio. Evans watched what Tom did, thought it was AWESOME, and just copied his movements and shit completely. So the final product is actually Chris Evans as Tom as Loki as Chris Evans as Cap. IF THAT IS NOT THE BEST FUCKING THING EVER…

Anyway. Then Thor throws Loki against the wall and that…was awesome, let’s face it. And then cuffs him and grins, which was even more awesome. Sif threatens Loki, Volstagg threatens Loki, “You’llllll kill me? Evidently, there’s a line.” HEEEEE. Then the bickering in the fucking spaceship. I can’t. Apparently that was based on the road trip Tom took with Chris & Liam, I can’t. “Now they’re following us. Now they’re firing at us.” “SHUT UP, LOKI!” “Congratulations! You just decapitated your grandfather!” STOP IT STOP IT STOP ITTTTTTT I LOVE IT. Then Thor pushes him out the spaceship door and everything is wonderful. Then Loki goes all CRAZY EYES in the ship to get them through the hole in the mountain side and “TA DAAA!” FUCKING HELL, STOP IT. (I cackled a lot in this movie.)

Then their fight on the ship. ASDFGHJKL. I love that they got just a TINY bit of alone time to blow up at each other. Loki starts in on Thor with his say goodbye to the woman you love shit. It will come, it’s never enough time, say goodbye now before the only woman that you love is gone from your life. THIS IS WHAT LOKI DOES. HE SELF-PROJECTS HIS OWN FEELINGS AND PAIN ON TO OTHERS TO TAKE THEM DOWN AN EMOTIONAL, PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE, MENTAL MIND GAME NOTCH WHEN IT’S REALLY HIM THAT’S BEING BRUTALLY MURDERED BY THOSE FEELINGS BUT HE REFUSES TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT. Always so perceptive about everyone but yourself, Loki, dear. “The SON of Odin.” Still a mind game to make himself feel better. “Not JUST of Odin. You think you alone loved Mother? You had her tricks, but I had her trust!” THAT’S it. THAT’S when Loki breaks. You bring in Frigga and he can’t HANDLE himself. Here comes the break in the wall; here come the tears; here comes Loki actually FEELING so much emotion that he can’t shove it down anymore. “Was that her last expression?! TRUST?! When you let her DIE?!” His voice breaks and everything. “What help were you in your cell??” “Who put me there?!? WHO. PUT. ME. THERE?!?!??!!” He LOSES it. Just LOSES it. Because he KNOWS that his actions led to her death. Because he was stuck in that cell and couldn’t PROTECT her. What does he do in the first movie? He PROTECTS his mother, even if he was the one that CAUSED that attack to play out, he would NEVER let harm come to her. And instead, he was stuck in a cell unable to save her and he NEEDS to put the blame on ANYONE BUT HIMSELF. And he LETS Thor attack him. He doesn’t even bother to fight back. Would Thor have overpowered him anyway? Of course, even if he wasn’t handcuffed. But he doesn’t even attempt to shake him off; he just suffers Thor shoving him down into the ship. Because he hates himself and would rather take that beating. “She wouldn’t want us to FIGHT.” “Well, she wouldn’t exactly be shocked.” And he grins. And Thor just stares at him and desperately wants his brother back and it HURTS ME IN ALL THE WAYS. “I wish I could trust you.” And you hear Thor’s voice break, because in truth, that’s all he’s BEEN wanting for the past two years. And Loki stands back up with this LOOK in his eyes, resolved, pained: “Trust my rage.” CAN YOU TELL I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT THIS SCENE?!? CAN YOU?!

Ok, fast forward. Svartalfheim. *cracks knuckles, represses sobs* Brilliantly, brilliantly, brilliantly done. I still watch Svartalfheim while like peeking out from behind my shirt, I can’t. On the mountaintop, Thor undoes Loki’s handcuffs, Loki whips out the knife, stabs Thor, kicks him down the mountain. “You think I care about any of you? About Frigga? I only ever wanted you and Odin dead at my feet!” *KICK* STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT. Then he fucking CUTS OFF THOR”S HAND AND IT”S MAGNIFICENT.

“I am Loki of Jotunheim!” *MANIC LAUGHTER* This gets its own paragraph cause HAHAHAHAHHAHAA *STABS SELF IN THE CHEST* 5 times, Aline. I’ve seen it 5 times now. And I still can’t handle that ONE. FUCKING. LINE. Now, all of this is a play, is their plan, but still, he says it outloud. You know me. You know me and the importance I put on names, on self-titles. He went from “and your death came from the son of Odin” to “I am Loki of Asgard” to “I am Loki of Jotunheim.” HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA KILL ME PLEASE JUST KILL ME. Whether it was just him trying to gain the upper hand, to make them see him as something other than Asgardian, or him really ACCEPTING it, WHATEVER, I still can’t HEAR it. Loki forsaking everything Asgardian about himself and accepting his Jotunn heritage, which he fucking hates with the presence of a thousand burning suns, so much so that he attempted to ANNIHILATE his entire fucking RACE as a symbol of attempting to rid the besmirched monster-blood out of his own BEING in the first movie. Here he is, standing up: “I am Loki of Jotunheim…no one can hate me more than I hate myself.” *opens window* *climbs out onto ledge* I can’t, Aline.

Anyway. Back to the topic at hand. Their plan plays out, Malekith draws the Aether out of Jane and as soon as she’s released, “Loki, NOW!” He drops the illusion from Thor’s hand, Mjolnir flies back, and Loki sprints over to Jane and PROTECTS HER WITH HIS OWN BODY. HAHAHHA BUH BYE. Now, clearly this was part of Thor’s plan, but, but, but. When the Aether isn’t destroyed, Malekith leaves and they are left fighting Kurse & the rest of the elves, WHAT does Loki do? Protecting Jane the first time was part of Thor’s plan; it was a condition that he had to go along with. But protecting Jane the second time was NOT. Even if this was ALL going according to LOKI’S elaborate plan of getting the throne, Jane was just a pawn; she never mattered. Loki could carry out the rest of his faux-death plan with or without her, let’s face it. If she died, Thor would just be doubly devastated and would totally STILL not want the throne. He did not HAVE to save her; but he did. He threw her out of the way and got caught up in the matter-blast, putting himself in danger and most likely risking his frickin plan in order to get her out of the way.

Then Thor goes on fighting Kurse and Loki fucking takes out 4-5 Dark Elves all by himself with just his knife. HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH KILL ME PLEASE. THIS gets its own paragraph because LET US DISCUSS SOMETHING HERE. Please note Loki’s fighting style both here and in the first movie. HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA. You know whose they mirror? THAT’S RIGHT: FRIGGA. When Frigga whipped out the capoeira-style fighting moves? I SOUNDED LIKE A DYING WHALE IN THE THEATRE. NOPE. NOPE NOPE NOPE. Yup. Momma Frigga taught Loki to fight like her. She taught him her magic, she gave him her smarts, and she taught him how to fight, cause he SURE as hell don’t fight like his brother or any of the other warriors for that matter. She was drawn to her younger, drawn-in son and took him under his wing and that’s why they were so close and please, please just kill me, I can’t, I really can’t. This whole Loki/Frigga thing hurts me so much, I can’t even.

ANYWAY AGAIN. Loki goes APESHIT on those Elves. You see it in his FACE; he takes out his anger on them, and his normally smooth technique because enraged and forceful and WILD. It’s amazing. He defeats them, takes one look at Kurse pounding the shit outta Thor, takes a deep breath, and heads over. Now, how much of the remaining was a farce, I don’t know, sadly. But regardless, it’s LOKI who takes out Kurse, LOKI who avenges their mother; and that was what he wanted. Now, whether or not Kurse REALLY turned around and stabbed him, I don’t know. Was THAT an illusion? Or was he counting on that and made sure somehow that the injury wasn’t that bad and then faked the rest? I don’t know. But Loki falls, impaled, (I scream), “See you in Hel, MONSTER.” (And as someone pointed out, “see you in Hel,” HAHAH Loki EXPECTS to go straight to Hel, not Valhalla HAHAHHAHA KILL ME.) Monster: that’s what you are, that’s what I am, we’ll be there: together. BUH BYE. Thor freaks, “you didn’t LISTEN!” Which is interesting: listen to what? Did Thor tell him to back off? To not engage Kurse? Was that part of Thor’s plan? He cradles Loki in his arms and Loki’s breath becomes ragged. “I didn’t listen. I was a fool.” ASKDJALJDALSJD. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Now. This is all obviously a bullshit play unraveling; Loki is faking his own death. But I will maintain that the words he is speaking are true. Loki has a tell; when the emotion gets the better of him, he starts to cry, he just BREAKS, and that’s when the truth comes out of him (at least as he sees it), and that was this here. He WAS sorry; sorry for his part in all this. Sorry that his actions led to Frigga, that he was truly remorseful. He LOVES her; he will always love her. “I will tell father what you did today.” “I didn’t do it for HIM.” Nope. Nope nope nope. He didn’t. He did it for Frigga, the only woman who loved him.

And he plays his part out nicely, the little shit, makes his skin turn to ash and shit which, hi, wtf. We watched Frigga die, that didn’t happen, so that doesn’t happen with Asgardians. We watched Laufey die, that didn’t happen, so that doesn’t happen with Jotunns. LOL. Thor, I know you were wracked with grief, but something’s a little fishy here, Sweetie. Lol. Then Thor grieves, he freaks, he screams, he cries. Let it be said: Frigga dies in front of him and he stands there stoically and takes it, his emotions bottled inside. Loki dies in his arms and he breaks down like a child. *STRANGLED CAT NOISE* I really can’t take the Thor/Loki relationship, Aline, I can’t, how much they both love and hate each other, how they are yin and yang, how no matter WHAT happens, they will ALWAYS complete each other. HELP.

Fast forward again. You see the screen pan onto an Asgardian randomly standing in the middle of Svartalfheim and heyyyyy lookit that! There’s a green flicker around him as Loki puts the finishing touches upon his new guise and then heads over to the ship. Appears at Odin’s feet, “we found a body.” “Loki.” And the fucker just looks up at him, everything’s going according to plaaaaaaaaan. Now WHO KNOWS what happened to Odin. A lot of people were running around the internet insisting that Odin is dead. *EYE ROLL* First of all, you don’t kill the King of the Gods, let alone Sir Anthony Hopkins off-screen, fools. Second of all, and more importantly, have you never fucking heard of Ragnarok? I mean, fucking REALLY. Odin CAN’T fucking be dead or you would’ve heard like a giant CRACK in the sky and the End of the World would’ve started, so shut your fucking mouths, idiots. Now, where he IS, who knows. Guised as a prisoner in a cell? Exiled into another realm? Convenient Odinsleep? Lol. Whatever. Loki takes his form and BOOM HIS PLAN FROM THE MOTHERFUCKING BEGINNING OF AVENGERS IS ACCOMPLISHED: BITCH IS ON THE THRONE OF ASGARD. Talk about a motherfucking Long Con, man. Damn. Loki is LIGHTYEARS ahead of everyone else when it comes to planning and games and thinking of this shit, cause ALL his actions in the past two movies were his PLAN to GET him here. CRAZY insane. And that reveal was AWESOME too, the way they did it, with the pan back past Gungnir, his scepter, as he changes back into Loki. Brilliant. HELL, that whole SCENE was brilliant, cause once you go back and watch it a second time KNOWING that’s gonna happen, everything out of Loki!Odin’s mouth becomes a double entendre. The second Thor starts honoring Loki, Loki!Odin’s eyes FLICK up and suddenly he’s rather intent on what Thor’s saying. He even DOES actually praise Thor, saying that if he COULD be proud of him, he would be (but he can’t, because he’s not really frickin Odin and LOKI can’t be 100% proud of the man Thor’s become because they’ll always fundamentally be at odds). It was funny; the first time around, I thought that line was SO weird. It was so weirdly phrased that I didn’t understand it…and it wasn’t til the second time that I realized it was because it was really Loki saying it to Thor, not Odin. Brilliantly done. Truly. Meanwhile, seriously, Thor, does your father sit with his fucking legs 80 feet apart, slanted in the chair? NO, ONLY YOUR BROTHER DOES. LOL.

Also, with the first tag, that means it wasn’t ODIN who sends the Aether to The Collector: it’s Loki. Now. Why? Is he still working WITH Thanos and knows The Collector is sketchy and this may help them? Or did he purposely send it away like Sif & Volstagg say, so that two aren’t too close to each other, believing that it will keep it further from Thanos’s reach?

THIS WHOLE MOVIE. ARG. I just… Like I said, I feel it was too rushed, they cut FAR too much out of it, the only character who actually experienced any character growth was Loki…so I DO have issues with it, but at the same time, I love it. I haven’t talked about Thor, but GAH, Thor. THOR THE GIANT PUPPY WHO WILL DO ANYTHING TO PROTECT THOSE HE LOVES. I LOVE MY THOR. I LOVE Him. Thor and his brother. Thor and his Jane. Thor and his BRILLIANT planning cause he’s literally the ONLY ONE to save the entire 9 realms, that’s how fucking smart he is. He recognizes the Aether as a GIANT ISSUE immediately while anyone else dismisses it. He puts his plan into action, his father & king be damned, because he KNOWS it’s what’s best for the kingdom, whereas Odin, pssh. He cooks up this ELABORATE, BRILLIANT PLAN (even if it didn’t quite work) and pulls it off to the best of his ability. And then takes Jane & her kickass knowledge skills and beats the shit outta Malekith. Then on top of it all, recognizes that he’s not fit for the throne. I mean, REALLY. THOR, LADIES AND GENTS.

Honorable mentions to Heimdall for being a fucking BADASS on that Bifrost and just fucking RUNNING AND JUMPING AND TAKING OUT AN ENTIRE SHIP WITH HIS JUST FUCKING KNIVES. JESUS. And also to Erik, who went “banana-balls” and still put ALL this shit together and made the anchors and stole Stan Lee’s shoe and then BOOM saved them from the falling ship.

A MOVIE FULL OF BADASSES.

*lets out longggggggggggggggggggggg breath*

That just took me approximately 2 & ½ hours to write. Yeah.

In summary: I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS (MOST OF THEM ABOUT LOKI).

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