i always get rlly annoyed when my irl implies being neurodivergent or talks ab hyperfixations because by god she has never seemed as troubled as i know myself to be by neurodivergency. she always talks about the quirky sides of being neurodiv and not the debilitating effects of things other than "omg im so obsessed w this show" or "aw im so fidgety" or "cant sleep before 2am :(" or something when she only presents or talks about the socially acceptable adhd/neurodiv traits
girl i dont brush my teeth or hair ever, at most once a month. i only shower because of my food service job, so thank god for that. hygiene is truly one of the biggest, least talked about problems of people w adhd. plus, i have terrible impulse control, lashing out most often in the form of harming myself, having deeply rooted self harm tendencies interlocked w adhd tendencies that enable them. i suffer from mild echolalia at times, which though it isn't particularly troubling, is embarrassing af. i often have a hard time understanding what people are saying, whether irl or on tv, and struggle w/o captions in most cases. i have trouble understanding meaning behind words, and am told i take everything literally to the point where my family harasses me about it. i have trouble regulating my feelings, easily becoming distressed at the slightest stressor. by god it is not easy, it is not quirky, and i truly hate neurodivergency. i would give anything not to be this way
but then i have to step back. i have to realize that we can never know everything about someone. she could be struggling with all those things. while i'm a mess and most people i interact with know. probably a lot of people dont know all of that. they don't know every thing that i struggle with. and while it upsets me that maybe her adhd/neurodivergency isn't as visible as mine, that doesn't mean it's not there
she could be one of those "omg im so quirky i get distracted sometimes" adhd girls. but she also could be someone who deeply struggles as i do, and i cannot fault her for holding space for herself
by god i need to do the same.