angst, childhood lovers to enemies (potentially to lovers again), i love writing angsty dean I'm sorry.
warning - I hardly edit any of my writing sorry
word count: 2.1K
☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓
cause that's just the way life goes ...
☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓
You were 16 when you met Dean Winchester, he and his brother Sam were new to your school. The moment you met you instantly had a crush on the boy, he was charming, funny, dangerous, and downright sexy. The only problem was every other girl in your grade felt the same thing, hell even some of the guys did. Dean had the kind of energy when he walked into a room all eyes were on him. It wasn't until a few months later when you would finally speak to him, it turns out his dad and yours were friends; hunting friends. Okay maybe friends is too much, more like acquaintances, they would help each other if they were hunting the same thing. John and your father had decided now that John was to be in your hometown for at least the next few months that the three of you kids could keep each other company.
The first time the three of you met officially it was a horrible stormy night. Something straight out of a horror movie, the rain was pelting against the windows, making them rattle, and thunder clapped so loud in the distance it sounded as though the apocalypse was beginning. John came over to your house with Sam and Dean to sit down with your father and go over the lore of whatever monster they were hunting now.
"Darlin' you remember John Winchester?" Your dad said lazily, gesturing to the elder Winchester. You just nodded politely.
"Well these are his sons, Dean and little Sam. " He continued.
"I know, I've met them already." Both fathers looked at you confused for a moment. "I mean, they started at school last month. I think I have a couple classes with Dean." You shrugged, trying to play it off. You caught Dean's expression from the corner of your eye, he was smirking at you, one eyebrow raised in interest.
As the two men retreated to spend the night in the study you were left standing in the kitchen with Sam and Dean, awkwardly.
"I'll show you both to the living room, we can order a pizza or something?" You turned on your heels and the boys followed you into the next room. You sat on one end of the couch, Sam on the other and Dean sat in the armchair across from you. Sam started flicking absentmindedly through the tv channels, trying to drown out the uncomfortable silence. "It must be nice to have a real home where you don't have to move schools all the time." Sam spoke up.
"Uh yeah, I guess it's alright. I mean it'd be even better if dad wasn't a hunter at all." You gave the young boy a sympathetic smile.
You looked up to see Dean still staring at you, you couldn't tell if he was eyeing you off or judging you; but either way it looked like he was about to eat you. You felt your face heat up, your crush sitting meters across from you, in your house. It was unreal.
The rest of the night dragged on, you watched a few movies and ordered pizza, none of you talking very much. Eventually Sam fell asleep so you got up off the couch to cover him with a blanket. As you passed Dean to pick up the blanket he finally spoke up. "So what classes do we have together?" He asked innocently.
"What?" You answered, startled.
"When your dad was introducing us you said we have a few classes together. A beautiful girl like you, I'd remember. So I'm curious."
You were stunned, there's no way he just said that. "Um I think English and history maybe." You answered, sitting back down besides the sleeping boy. "No wonder I haven't seen you." He laughed. "There's no way anyone could make me sit through the most boring classes of the day."
You rolled your eyes, yeah sure they were tedious but you actually wanted to graduate. "So what do you do with all your spare time then? Surely not studying?" Now it was Dean's turn to blush, you had heard a few notorious stories about Dean and a certain janitor's closet. He just shrugged and ran a hand through his soft, brown hair.
☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓
Ever since that night Dean started showing up to his English and history classes, and not only showing up but coming in early to make sure he had the seat beside you. During breaks he would find you out by the football field and join you for lunch. You had so much in common, not just your unstable life as a hunter's kid but same taste in music and cars. It felt like you finally met your soulmate.
Eight months later it was time for the Winchester's to move on. The longest they had stayed anywhere (thanks to Dean) but John wouldn't be delayed any longer, he had a lead two states away and was determined to follow it. The night before he left, Dean snuck in through your window to say goodbye. Gifting you a dainty necklace adorned with your birthstone - you didn't even realise Dean knew what a birthstone was!
"What's this for Dean? So my heart can break everytime I put it on?" You ask, looking up at the boy with tears in your eyes. He takes your left hand, running his thumb over your knuckles comfortingly. "No, this isn't goodbye forever, just for now. Just until dad ganks this son of a bitch and then I can come and see you again. I promise. Just wanted to get something for my favourite girl to remember me by." He leant down to place a kiss on the top of your head. Wrapping your arms around him you pulled him in for the tightest hug you could manage. "I don't believe you, but I still love you." You chuckle against his chest. You felt his heart skip a beat, pausing before he replies "I love you too."
☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓
It didn't take long after graduating high school for you to fall into the hunter's life. After spending your senior year fighting with your dad about the future, you did exactly what he expected and gave in. He had taught you how to hunt from the age you could hold a shotgun.
It was the reason your mum left.
Although you were fulfilling your destiny of becoming a hunter, you refused to hunt with him. After a particularly explosive fight you called your boyfriend. Dean knew about your daily arguments but he also could feel that this one was different. This fight was bad enough, pushed you far enough to call him crying and begging to meet him wherever he was. Dean was currently hunting a vampire nest with John only a six hour drive from you. The minute your phone lit up with an address you jumped in your car and sped off. Not looking back for a second.
"She's on her way." Dean announced to John, shoving his phone back into his pocket. John sighed in response "she'll get her anger out on this hunt then she'll drive right back home. Don't expect her to stay with us. Even if she wants to, the answer's no." He said solemnly.
"I don't think so, this is different. She hates this life, so it'd have to be really bad." John nodded not looking up from his paper. He only tolerated yours and Dean's relationship. He had nothing against you personally, he just didn't believe you could be in a relationship and live their life. He would put up with you for as long as it took you to realise that and run off to find someone stable.
☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓
That was almost four years ago. Since then you had joined the Winchester family on most of their hunts, surprising John with not only how well you could research and retain lore information but also how quick you were in a fight.
You had begun to grow close to Sam, he became both your best friend and the little brother you never had. When you were left alone to research he would often confide in you his feelings and dreams for the future.
One evening Dean returned to the motel alone, John abandoned him for a dive bar down the road, to you and Sam asleep on the couch. Your head resting atop his, your hoodie covering the younger boy from the chill in the air. Dean adored how you loved Sammy, how you both got along and you took care of him. He kissed your cheek and noticed how cold you were. Dean quietly removed his leather jacket, gently placing it around your shoulders before settling into bed for the night. He didn't dare wake the two of you.
Over the years, you had the privilege of watching Sam grow into a young man and live out his dream of leaving the hunting life for college. The weekend before he left he made sure to visit you to say goodbye. Hugging you goodbye and making sure you had his new number but not before making you promise you wouldn't give it to Dean or John. "Cross my heart. I'll take this phone number to my grave along with every embarrassing crush you've told me about." You giggled, making an x across your heart.
"Okay, okay, thank you. I just want to start over and I can't if they're trying to track me down." He smiled sadly. You looked up at Sam (he had now grown 10 feet tall and towered over you) "I get it but I can't promise they won't try to track you down anyways." You shrugged before giving the boy one final hug goodbye. "Good luck little Sammy." You joked as he left for good.
☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓
Ever since Sam left things had become tense among the Winchesters. Well, more tense than they already were. John was more irritable, it seemed like he would take his sadness and frustration out on you, yelling at the smallest mistakes or refusing to give you details on their next hunt. Dean was torn, it was wearing him down, trying to deal with his brother leaving and his father and girlfriend fighting. You had had enough and had thoughts about leaving for awhile, just taking a few solo hunts away from John until things cooled down - you really wished you could steal Dean away as well but that would make things so much worse.
"-absolutely not! You go out there and do what needs to be done Dean. This has been going on for far too long and you know it." You heard John shout from inside his and Dean's motel room.
"You don't know what you're talking about, she's the best damn hunter we've ever worked with." Dean responded, sounding just as furious. You hesitated going inside. You were going to tell Dean about your plan to give John some space but now, now they were fighting about you. You took a step back, you couldn't just leave without saying goodbye, so you waited. Anxiously twisting the birthstone around your neck, your back pressed against the brick wall, you waited for the screaming match to be over.
"She's bad news, always has been. Just like her damn father Dean. You can't keep dragging her around, it ain't fair."
"I love her. " Dean growled.
"You wouldn't know love if it hit you in the face." And with that the motel door flung open to reveal a furious Dean.
Tears stung your eyes, threatening to overflow. "How much of that did you hear?" Dean asked.
"Enough."
Dean took a deep breath and led you away from the motel door. "Look, I'm sorry. Honestly I never wanted you to hear that fight. But there's something I gotta say." Your breath caught in your throat, it felt like you were going to puke. You couldn't say anything back, so you just waited for him to go on, "I-Jesus-I can't do this anymore." He chokes out. "We need to break up." Tears pour down your cheeks silently. "We need to? Or John wants us to?" You seethe.
"We need to. It's not fair, you never wanted this life. I know what you wanted, you truly want what Sam left for. An apple pie life. You could still go to college, meet someone normal. I can't, no I won't, keep bringing you down like this." His voice raises.
"Seriously? After everything. You're giving in?"
Nothing. Dean stands there, looking like a lost puppy.
"Fine, I'll leave, I know when I'm not wanted. But before I go, I hope you're aware you sound just like your father. Congratulations." You whip around and walk as fast as your legs will take you to your car. Speeding off down the highway, making sure to stick your middle finger out the window for Dean to see.
♬⋆.˚ -august by taylor swift- ♬⋆.˚
00:00 ●━━━━───── 04:21
in the beginning, it felt like a summer love. the kind that you can't stop thinking about even years later. every touch lingered a little bit too long, every kiss was sacred. it was you and sam; there was nobody else in the world. it didn't matter if there was a monster right in front of you - sam only saw you.
♬⋆.˚ -edge of seventeen by stevie nicks - ♬⋆.˚
00:00 ●━━━━───── 05:29
after a while, it began to feel like sam was pulling away. he was torn, between what was right and what he wanted. loving him was passionate but lonely. stolen kisses turned into longing glances. you grew used to waking up in a empty bed.
♬⋆.˚ -poison by alice cooper - ♬⋆.˚
00:00 ●━━━━───── 04:30
loving sam winchester had never hurt so much. in multiple ways..
gone was the man you once knew, in his place a soulless shadow. kissing him felt like taking a bite of a forbidden fruit. although he wasn't the same, you couldn't tear yourself away. you felt bound to him. your heart ached for that long lost summer love but this new feeling of lust without care was intriguing.
♬⋆.˚ -give it to me (like you mean it) by cub sport - ♬⋆.˚
00:00 ●━━━━───── 02:50
home isn't a place, it's a person. home is sam winchester. you had returned home. kissing this version of sam felt like welcoming an old friend back. it felt like a missing piece of you had returned. you are whole again when you are in love with him.
♬⋆.˚ -hummingbird heartbeat by katy perry - ♬⋆.˚
00:00 ●━━━━───── 03:31
even after all this time, after all the seasons of sam, he was still just as in love you as the day you met. this sam is older, wiser but has so much more of himself to give. everyday is a new day to win you over. his touch has never felt so addicting yet comforting. you will grow old with this sam.
even when seasons change, our love still stays the same.
