wish i could carve out my heart and put it aside while i sleep. it'd hurt less

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wish i could carve out my heart and put it aside while i sleep. it'd hurt less
.
I have the overwhelming want to disappear..
Ugh, my chest hurts today.
I wonder if my chest aches at the sound of my name the same way mine does whenever I hear yours.
Unknown
^
Another sleepless night.
My pulse is searching for the echo of your heart. My ribs protest the absence of your ribs pressed against them. Lungs pause - waiting for the movement of air rushing through your chest, your throat, your mouth, and lips. Moving air across my cheek - my cheeks feel cold, feel empty. My fingers tingle wanting to caress absent hands, and chin and spine. My chest aches and empty space has never felt more heavy.
Absent, Amanda Wells, 2014