how would yandere rvb set up a date night for their special little someone?
You didn't specify which characters or during which main storyline, so I'll just ramble about a few that first popped up in my head with this scenario. I did not expect this to turn into something so long.
• Blood Gulch Chronicles: Caboose, Chex (Church and Tex), and Sarge
Yandere Michael J. Caboose
"Oh my god. I'm in lesbians with someone."
"I think you mean love, Caboose."
"No, it's clearly lesbians, Tucker! I can't believe I have to explain this. Lesbians is when two people love each other very much and are like the colors in a beautiful sunset."
He's not very good at keeping the date night a secret from his darling because he's so excited. He'll try to be subtle about it (and fail).
"Will you be available a few days after tomorrow? I need to know because I'm planning something super secret for you that you can't know about."
He's whispering conspiratorially and doss his happy claps, then pulls you into a hug when you accept.
He does his best with what is avaliable to him.
He manages to get Donut to steal stuff from Grif's secret stash of food in exchange for one Caboose favor.
He makes sandwiches, has snack cakes, chips, soda, and a few other things he forgot the names of. He stalked you to learn your preferences. If there's anything left after you eat, he finishes it off because he wants to eat like you do and really understand you.
He managed to find an old DVD player and some obscure movie titles in Tucker's room. Caboose is sure he won't mind if he temporarily borrows them.
Alien Cock vs Predator Pussy
11 Virgins in 1 Day
R is for Raunchy
Pixxxels
I put the L in Lesbian
He has never heard of these, but he's sure you'll enjoy them with him.
He makes sure his bed has a bunch of comfy blankets and also plans for you to join him during his dancing time. After watching movies and eating, it will be snuggle time, leading into bedtime.
He keeps getting the date of your meeting mixed up, so expect him to just pull you into his quarters one night (even if you are sleeping).
"Wake up, silly head. Did you forget tonight was our super-secret romantic hangout? That's okay. Sometimes I forget things too."
He is a little sad if you forgot, but if you assure him that you remembered and were just tired, then he'll be happy.
If any other teammate comes in and tries to interrupt, he'll get extremely irritated.
"Not right now! This is special time for darling and me. That comes after work time which was over 45 minutes ago!!!"
He doesn't care if the Reds are attacking or if something else happened! He will wrap his arms around you and whine, begging you to stay with him.
"Noooooooo. That isn't fair. This isn't on schedule."
He may even have a strongly worded talk with whoever messed up his time with you. He'll even do it if Church was the one to interrupt.
Yandere Chex
It's a miracle either of them was able to set this up in the first place. They're constantly love-hating each other. The bickering only becomes worse when you're in their purview. It's like you're staring at an old couple that got divorced but then remarried for tax reasons.
Tex still doesn't want to admit she's fond of you, but perhaps a date will clear things up. She'd rather have only you on the date because Church doesn't know how to share, but she guesses that she can stand him for one night. She'd prefer something more private, away from everyone else. She wouldn't mind stargazing in some secluded part of the gulch. That sounds quite nice. She's sure she can find some halfway decent food as well.
Church doesn't hate the idea, but he feels obligated to call it stupid.
"So they're gonna want to sit in the dark for four hours and watch you brood while staring at blinking lights? No thanks, Tex. That's the shittiest idea you've had since we got together."
"Shut the hell up, Church. You were the one vying for me like a dog that wants a bone. I doubt you have any better ideas."
They eventually agree to sneak out when the others are asleep. They'll wake you up and demand that you come with them. Only after what felt like hours—more like thirty minutes—of walking did the three of you arrive at a nice picnic under the gaze of the galaxy.
Tex is shooting Church a "don't you dare fuck this up for us" look.
Church just scoffs and rolls his eyes.
Tex will be sitting on the edge of the blanket most of the night. She tries to be pleasant with Church, but it just comes off as awkward. She threatened the Reds to stfu and stay away from this part of the gulch tonight, or she'd gut them. That seemed to work pretty well.
Church is overthinking. He doesn't know how to properly explain it, so he just says it's a cozy reconnaissance mission for a job well done.
Only when you fall asleep will they both drape themselves over you, dreaming of better times their minds have either lost or hidden from them.
Yandere Colonel Sarge
He can barely plan it without his idiots getting in the way. He has to tell everyone to "stay the hell away from them [you]" when he thinks you're out of earshot.
Grif's reaction is, "Great. Now Sarge has another thing he's gonna yell at me about."
Simmons's reaction is, "Sir? Are you sure? Them?" (He's so jealous. Having Sarge as a yandere nearly guarantees you either have Simmons as a co-yandere, wingman, or competitor. It's usually all three.)
Donut is like, "Oh no, what's wrong with the rookie? Are they secretly part of The Blues? Or are they an alien sent here to kill us in our sleep?"
"All interesting words, except yours, Grif. And yes, I will be shooting at you more frequently, just as frequently as you interact with them—maybe more if I just feel like it, which I will."
He has the best date night planned. There will be food, shooting at Grif, driving around in the Warthog, and making out sloppily behind big rocks in the canyon like horny teenagers. That's his favorite part. He loves having his hands on his darling. He has to look professional in front of his soldiers, but when no one is looking, you're tucked into him.
The only thing is there's a large chance you both were followed, and they're bad at keeping quiet.
Sarge will hogtie the whole lot and chloroform them just to have some private time with you.
