#chexer

[icybastionsamurai]

[leonardalphachurch]

chexer dynamics. you know how it is

https://x.com/LightButDarker_/status/1845993045281386830 <-original meme

[banamine-bananime]

Church, without warning: I actually - I'm not going to lie to you. I think I might already be legally married. To Lavernius Tucker. Wash, who was just trying to have a silent morning coffee and was most certainly not prepared for this but feels that he's probably obligated to take this seriously: Is it... legally... recognized? Church: I think, well - Church: Church: It's by an ordained Minister. Cause Sarge is apparently, somehow, a registered, ordained Minister. Wash, clutching his coffee Very Tightly: Church: and the paperwork was all filed and shit Wash: Church: so am I Church: Am I, like already legally married? Church: Is this going to be an issue if I want to marry Tex in the Vegas Quadrant or something? Wash: Wash: When you get married AS A BIT - Wash, Very Deliberately Calming Down: Wash: you're not supposed to actually get married. What the hell were you thinking? Church: What? It was for a video. Wash, no longer very deliberately calming down: Yeah. But you still signed the paperwork. YOU GOT MARRIED.

Tucker: I got a call yesterday, he's like, 'my sister's seen the video, you know, you didn't invite her. Yeah, moment's gone, and you didn't invite her, and she's fallen out with me, Tucker. And now - now she's fallen out with you'. And I'm like OH. So I look and I'm in bad with the Church family. *giggling nervously* We will not be speaking to Carolina again. I have some apologies - I think I have made a severe and continuous lapse in - oh god. Oh shit.

_________

Church: Just sign it. Tucker: Why? Church: BECAUSE WE DON'T NEED TO BE LEGALLY MARRIED. THIS IS CRAZY. Tucker: It's funny Church: You're not even in my will. Tucker: Why? I'm your husband! Church: My will is 'fuck you all, everything goes to charity'. Tucker: Give it to the charity of me! Church: We're not married. We're not staying married. This is crazy. You're being crazy. Just sign the divorce papers. Tucker: Let's sort this once and for all. If Tex - if Tex - if Tex wants me to drop this, for us to split up, I can, alright? I can see - Church: Just sign it. Tucker: - 'Cause I care about her. Tucker: Right. Okay. I texted Tex - I texted Tex, and she just replied - Tucker: "Get it together, honey."

Tucker, coming out years in the future: I'm bicurious so I can say like 1/5th of it. How about that, you 'ggots? Wash, trying to figure out whether it's biphobic to murder him:

so. i'm not a mcyt fan but from accidentally coming across this very weird mcyt nightmare polycule i have been unable to stop myself from gawking at it like a train derailment and i do think this could be a very real chexer situation. if you are not familiar:

this post is made from actual words that have been said with a few minor alterations

[banamine-bananime]

chexer is really amazing because in canon it's like world's brattiest sub [also he's a computer program with dissociative identity disorder], lesbian with the world's most unfortunate exception [also she's an experimental supersoldier AND a computer program], and the guy whose kink is annoying them [also he's been voted Most Unlikely Alien Chosen One 4 times running]

but in modern AUs it's like world's brattiest sub [also he's an idiot], lesbian with the world's most unfortunate exception [also she's an idiot], and the guy whose kink is annoying them [also he's an idiot]

[juneausol]

a chexer trilogy bc the tag has been dry lately and ill populate it MYSELF if i have to <3

[juneausol]

no one else is making content for chexer and i have brainworms so i gotta do it myself. also i finally came up with a decent ship name for them: star-crossed lovers!! i’ll put an explanation of it under the cut:

star - tex (the lone star symbol of texas, also mentioned in a girl named tex)

cross(ed) - church (christian cross/crucifix)

lovers - tucker (his iconic “im a lover not a fighter” line, also the “we’re both just a couple of lovers” scene from s3)

+ both chex and chucker are really angsty ships (hence “star-crossed”)

[aro-ortega]

love this line in bow chicka wow wow wow.. "on blue team we do things a little bit screwy / your girlfriend is my girlfriend just like in the movies"...... there was only one girlfriend on blue team.. chexer real

[charliebot-art]

ok im so mad tumblr apparently ate my ask but it went something like this:

chexer prompt: tucker and church are totally the type to brag about how hot their girlfriend is and how she can beat up your girlfriend

and thus:

(((and like wow of course on the one pic that barely even makes sense with context lmao)))