Chikinini
There were two very interesting red marks on the Holy Father's neck.
Cardinal Aldo Bellini felt like swearing a few choice words in both Italian and Filipino, both languages being perfect for this. He'd happily do the penances if he had to, if only this ridiculousness would not blow up in all their faces.
Innocent (Aldo tried very hard not to snort at this) inclined his head towards Thomas Lawrence's direction. As usual, the two were engaged in some sort of very animated discussion and this time, with Lawrence's emerging fluency in Tagalog, it was a fascinating, if hilarious mix of the two languages.
(Filipinos apparently found their accents, in attempting the short vowel sounds of Tagalog, both adorable and hilarious.
"Ang cute," Sister Maria Teresa had cheerfully commented. It's cute.)
Dear Lord was that a third red mark on Innocent's neck?
He felt a nudge at his side. It was Monsignor Raymond O'Malley, his eyes quite wide. The expression was clear. Are you seeing what I'm seeing?
He tried to telegraph back: I am trying. Very hard. Not to think about it.
Thank God, the Blessed Mother and all the angels and saints in heaven that Tedesco wasn't here to see this!
What Aldo didn't realize, at first, was that the pair in question
(he was not going to think of them as a couple, God help him)
had finally noticed him and were doing their own version of mental telepathy.
Vincent: What is happening to Aldo?
Thomas: I don't know. I don't see Tedesco anywhere around.
Vincent: Will you please check on him?
Thomas: Yes, dearest.
(This was clear by a gentle tap on the back of Vincent's hand.)
Vincent: I am getting you for that later, mahal.
(That was clear by Vincent's quick tap on Thomas' elbow. Which made the latter smile, close-lipped, because he really didn't want to laugh out loud and startle everyone else.)
Monsignor Ray: Oh dear God, did the so-called wedding in Manila Cathedral actually happen without us knowing?!!!
The four of them walked past the Swiss Guards. Vincent cheerfully greeted them by name, having somehow memorized all the Guards in question, including the minute details of their family lives, within the first few weeks of his papacy.
As soon as they had reached their combined private offices, away from other prying eyes and ears, Thomas gently took Aldo by the arm. "Are you all right?"
"I'm not quite sure," Aldo managed wryly.
"And you're looking a trifle pale yourself, Ray," Thomas rounded on his secretary, quietly trying to blend into the wallpaper.
"We're just hurt that apparently the pair of you didn't think to invite us to your wedding at the Manila Cathedral," Ray said with aplomb.
His timing was impeccable. Vincent had just taken a sip of tea and promptly started spluttering. "Ano daw?!!!" (What?!)
Thomas was looking at both Aldo and Ray as if they had completely lost their minds.
"I realize the need for discretion," said Aldo, picking up on Ray's theme and running with it, as it seemed to be the only way to hold on to his composure, which was rapidly deteriorating by the minute. "But honestly, Thomas, I thought I taught you better than to leave obvious clues."0
"Thomas, nabaliw na yata ang mga kasama natin dito," Vincent said solemnly, although the fact that he had temporarily lost command of the English language was telling. (Thomas, I think our friends have gone crazy.)
"I'm not sure what they're on about either, but I agree," Thomas said, the color of his eyes rapidly changing to a sharp, icy blue, a clear indication of his annoyance. "The pair of you - please tell me what is going on before I call the nearest sanitarium."
Aldo threw up his hands in exasperation. "Hickeys. On His Holiness' neck. Holy Mother of God, Thomas, what were you thinking?!"
Vincent slapped a hand on his neck. "What?!"
Thomas gently lifted the latter's chin and guided his hand away. "Hm. How did you end up with those?"
"It feels like mosquito bites - I've been scratching at them all day, actually. Probably when we went to visit the turtles."
"So we're calling them mosquito bites now?" Aldo inquired sweetly.
"Because they are mosquito bites, Aldo Niccolo Giovanni Bellini," Vincent's tone didn't often shift from its usual gentleness but when it did change to a sterner tone and combined with the full name treatment...
The apologies, sincere and completely embarrassed, were quickly offered. The awkward silence lasted for a full thirty seconds until Thomas said:
"Honestly, Aldo, you should give me more credit. I wouldn't be that obvious. Not on his neck, of course."
He'd waited until Aldo and Ray had taken their own sips of tea and serenely sat back and enjoyed their reactions. Vincent just laughed, covering his face with his hands. He excused himself shortly to find some ointment on those nasty mosquito bites.
Yes, they really were mosquito bites.
Yes, Vincent was also blushing.
Yes, Thomas was mortified but he'd picked up on Pinoy Unseriousness and Pancit Canton Audacity and he was going to stick to it.
Yes, Aldo would be having a drink or two after this ridiculousness.
And yes, Monsignor Ray had figured that they were telling the truth, but they couldn't hide the old married couple vibe either.
Monsignor Ray would also learn, from his Filipino friends, the Tagalog word for hickeys.
Chikinini.
- end -
I regret nothing. 😂
