#child writes

[irregular-child]

Werewolves: Part One

I was reading a Werewolf!Harry fic and was reminded about my feelings on the matter, so here’s this rant…

WEREWOLVES IN HP SUCK

This is not an opinion, this is fact. In so many aspects, Joanne eviscerated werewolves in these books.

For one, the fundamental elements we think of when we think of werewolves. The shape that they take and how they are turned. With traditional werewolves, when they turn they take one of two shapes. A wolf-man hybrid (that usually just looks like a wolf head with a man’s chest and arms, and a wolf lower body) or a full on wolf. Joanne chose to bastardize the former and gave us the sickly greyhound-man hybrid. Do I think looking sickly is a metaphor for how poorly Remus treated his wolf? Possibly. Do I think JKR did that on purpose? Hell no. I believe she just made bad decisions and we made lemonade with them, like we do everything in this godforsaken fandom. Also, this is a smaller grievance but I have always disliked how easy it was to be turned into a werewolf. Typically, you have to be bitten to be turned. In HP, all it takes is a small scratch. I fully believe that this is the result of JKR wanting to more easily abuse the group she’s using werewolves as a metaphor for in her writing.

Speaking of! Let’s talk about how werewolves are treated in HP. Most media will not paint werewolves in a positive light. Especially not the ones from the 90s/early 00s (when HP was written). But the extreme governmental restrictions and prejudice shown against werewolves in HP is very interesting when looking at it through the lens of the metaphor that JKR is using werewolves for. I want to say a decent chunk of HP or Marauders fans are aware of the belief that Remus Lupin being a werewolf is a metaphor for a gay man having AIDS. If you weren’t, well now you are. By using this specific metaphor and then creating a world where there are laws saying that werewolves need to be tracked and monitored at all times and that the number one most known werewolf to the British Wizarding World is a sociopath who specifically preys on small children… We really should have seen her TERFness sooner.

My final thing is Dumbledore. Now, anyone who knows me irl knows that I HATE Dumbledore with a passion that rivals the fires of hell. I have many grievances with the man, but the one I’ll bring up today is Dumbledore’s treatment of Remus during his school years. From what we get from HP canon, Dumbledore is the main person who advocated for Remus to go to Hogwarts and is the one who set him up with accommodations for his ‘furry little problem’. Now, I can hear you already, “Child, he was helping out a kid who wanted an education, despite his issue, how could you have an issue with that?” WELL, I’LL TELL YOU HOW! Dumbledore did that to set himself up as the only trusted adult in Remus’ life. Similar to Harry, Dumbledore’s kindness to him was a way for him to assert control over Remus. By giving him this thing, a chance to be a normal kid while being abnormal as well as it being an education, Remus now feels indebted to Dumbledore. He can never repay him, everything he has done in life, all his accomplishments are because Dumbledore gave him this education. An opportunity that werewolves rarely get. So, once Dumbledore asks him to go and spy on the werewolf encampments, how could Remus say no? Surely this is such a small favor compared to everything Dumbledore has done for him. Nevermind, it takes away a trusted adult from Harry, who just learned of his existence and ties to his parents. Who could have influenced Harry to truly think about all this war entails and the good he could do after it. Dumbledore kept Remus away from Harry and deprived him of a person who could inspire him to want to have a life after Voldemort. So he could spy on the werewolf camps. And he wasn’t successful at it. None of the other werewolves liked him. Why? Because he wasn’t like them. None of the other werewolves were given an education like Hogwarts. Most of them don’t have jobs, or money. So when this well-dressed, well-educated guy starts poking around, clearly looking for evidence of your ‘being evil monsters’ they obviously shut down around him. So Remus didn’t even get any of the information he was sent there for. Dumbledore, in one fell swoop turned Remus not only into his personal hunting dog, he turned him against his own kind. He guaranteed that Remus would not have any access to werewolf culture and community and kept him in the wizarding world. This force fed him werewolf-hating propaganda everyday of his childhood and got him to agree with it. Remus hated his wolf. Fenrir Greyback (as horrible a person as he was, he is our only other resource for werewolves in HP) is a powerful wolf, because he embraced it.

[rhysreece]

How To Catch A Snake

Deceit, Remus decided, was probably one of the most annoying sides he'd ever met. Which is why he had seduced the snake into a relationship. 

(He hadn't seduced anyone, Deceit just didn't want to keep finding decapitated heads on his pillow every night)

But, no matter how many times he removed his brother, Deceit never had time for his ideas. It wasn't his fault they all involved the pair in bed, with varying amounts of different bodily fluids. 

Every time he tried to corner the snake, he was summoned to deal with some petty issue with the light sides. So he decided to follow him.

The next time Deceit was called up, this time about a particularly bad meal a friend had cooked and wanted opinions, Remus followed. 

Behind the TV and out of sight, he listened to them argue, until there was a brief moment of silence whilst Logan looked for a vocab card. Remus popped up, weapon free but grinning, leaning on the television as Logan and Deceit rolled their eyes in perfect unplanned synchrony, Roman shrieked, and Virgil just stared.

"What do you want, Prince PooPoo." 

Remus' head whipped round to stare at his brother, and laughed.

"Oh I just missed my two D's at once!" 

They all turned to look at Deceit, who was entirely fed up, and tried to corral the conversation back to the important topic.

"Anyway, I can totally believe I'm saying this, but Patton is so very wrong."

The conversation resumed, and then stopped again as Remus screamed, unholy and deafening, for a good thirty seconds, then grinned like a child who had just been praised. Thomas finally spoke up, trying to pop his ears.

"Remus, what do you really want?"

"I really want Deceit in my pants, but he's been avoiding me! So now I'm here!"

Deceit completely ignored Remus, and pulled up a chart Logan had made, and scribbled all over it to make it fit his point. Logan, of course, shrieked higher than Roman had and lunged for the snake, who merely smiled and stepped to the side, letting Logan slam head first into the banisters and spooking Virgil.

"Well, if that's how I'm going to be treated, of course I'll stay. Stay here, Remus." 

And with that, Deceit had sunk out. Remus burst into laughter and followed Deceit, leaving four very stunned eyes on a sheepish Logan.

Deceit had snuggled up on the sofa, and sighed when Remus cannonballed onto the seat next to him and pinned him to the sofa.

"Finally, I've got you to myself."

"How awful." 

[irregular-child]

Fred & George Weasley

I am aware that on my list the first character is Harry. HOWEVER! Who said I was going in order? That’s on you for assuming I wouldn’t be bouncing around following the dopamine. So without further ado…

Fred and George!

I’m going to try my best to separate the two as individual characters, because one of my main gripes with canon is that the twins are always just that, the twins. They have little to no individuality. Is this likely a tool used to make Fred’s death at the end all the more hurtful? Yes! Do I believe this was done intentionally by JKR? No, I do not. I believe that this was something she stumbled upon because she was too lazy to give F&G individual traits that aren’t just “mischief” and “pranks”.

That being said, the two characters are incredibly close, so there are going to be things that are changed about them collectively. So let’s get that out of the way

The twins are not Gryffindors

This has been one of my main gripes with them from the beginning

These boys are too witty and cunning to be Gryffs

I refuse to believe that every move they made was purely impulse

They thought out every move they made

Their inventiveness alone disqualifies them in my opinion

The twins are a lot closer to Harry

Again, the twins are really smart and intuitive

They had suspicions on how Harry was treated by the Dursleys in Harry’s first year, but they couldn’t find anything truly substantial so they kept an eye out and let Harry know that they are there for him if he needs anything

Until the Breakout in Book 2, that’s when they know that Harry’s got some Real Shit going on and fully adopt him as a new little brother

They have a talk with Ron about how Harry’s going to be a little different and if there’s anything that Ron doesn’t quite know how to handle, come to them

(Not in a Harry’s-fragile-and-weird way but in a Hey-these-are-11-year-olds-and-yeah-we’re-only-13-but-we-probably-know-more-about-how-to-help-an-abused-child)

They 100% spend the first week of their fourth year (Golden trio’s second) researching abuse victims and how to help them in the library (This isn’t weird because wait and see in a bit)

They actually are some of Madame Pince’s favorite students

She is their favorite Hogwarts adult

FRED

House: Slytherin

Magick Alignment: Grey

Fred is the more extroverted twin. Not to say George isn’t. But George is more the type to need to recharge after interacting with people all day. Fred has an endless social battery. Fred is the more charming one as well. He’s quick to act and quick to smooth talk their way out of detention or grounding from Molly (or at least he’ll try his best). He’s the ‘face’ of WWW. He is the first one of the two to ‘adopt’ Harry as their little brother in action.

Fred is 100% a Slytherin. He has always been the one to want to be a trailblazer. He’s known since he was little that he wanted to have a ‘thing’ he is known for like how his older brothers do. He had the first ideas for some Wheezes products when he was young, but never could quite crack how to make them work. He took them to George and they were able to figure them out together. He plans and works until he executes them.

Fred does very well in school. He has consistent high marks on most subjects. His only fuzzy one is Astronomy.

GEORGE

House: Ravenclaw

Magick Alignment: Grey

George is more reserved than Fred is. He is the observer. He analyzes something and finds out what makes it tick. He is the brains behind the execution of a lot of Wheezes products. Not to say Fred doesn’t make things on his own, or George doesn’t create things by himself either. But they often naturally fall into these roles. He was the first to clock that Harry might not be the healthiest kid.

George being a Ravenclaw makes so much more sense to me. He’s the one who takes note of Harry's behavior. He subtly makes sure he takes care of himself and is the main researcher between the two on ways to help him.

George excels in school. He has several study methods he exercises based on what subject he’s working on. His favorite thing to do is track data and experiment. He is his own favorite test subject. Fred has learned his lesson and no longer consents to experimentation.

[irregular-child]

HOW I WOULD DO HARRY POTTER BETTER

There are so many flaws with Harry Potter in general. Putting aside all the JKR of it, the series itself has a lot of things in it that are just bad in general and can be improved upon. SO I am taking it upon myself to do an overhaul of the series as a whole. Am I going to be completely unique in all of these things I’m going to say, probably not. But this is my own fun little ‘fuck-you’ to JKR so I don’t particularly care.

Moving on!

This is going to be separated into many sections that, knowing myself, I will likely add to as time goes on and I get into the Zone™. I will include quick-links below to the different sections below.

Characters

Main

Harry

Ron

Hermione

Ginny

Draco

Neville

Luna

Side

Weasley Clan

Arthur

Molly

Bill

Fleur

Charlie

Percy

Fred & George

Professors

McGonagall

Snape

Flitwick

Lockhart

Dumbledore

Marauders

Sirius

Remus

Peter

Dorcas

Marlene

Mary

Pandora

Evan

Barty

Regulus

Dursleys

Background

Goblins

Firenze & the Centaurs

Peeves & the Ghosts

Werewolves

Part One

Part Two

Events

Book 1

Book 2

Book 3

Book 4

Book 5

Book 6

Book 7

Hogwarts

Houses

Classes

Magic System

Wands

Light Magic

Dark Magic

Grey Magic

Magic Politics

Wizengamot

Aurors

Sacred 28

After Hogwarts

Any and all of the above sections are liable to be changed/deleted if I’m just not vibing with it. Unless specified otherwise, if I don’t touch on a subject it’s the same as canon. Or I may have not reached it yet. If y’all like what I have to say and want me to talk on one specific topic, let me know and I’ll try my hand at it!

This will take a while to be completed so keep an eye out for any updates using the tag ‘child writes’. Hope y’all enjoy, and feel free to give feedback on your thoughts on my stuff or anything in general!

NOTE: the bullet points are horribly unorganized on desktop, should be fine on mobile, sorry to all desktop users

[rhysreece]

Do You Know Where You Are?

The pair stood opposite each other, one glaring shakily, fear written across their strained features, eyes darting around in search of any escape from those eyes. Her heartbeat was as loud as war drums and pounded through her head, drowning everything out.

Everything bar her. Her eyes, cold as ice, dark as night, pierced through the fog of fear and alarm like a hot knife through butter. Her smile, barely masking her contempt. Her voice, not shouting, but had such an air of power to it, that she was easily the loudest thing in the room.

An observer may describe it as a standoff, but it was so one-sided it couldn't possibly be described as something that suggested equal chances such as that. Olivia's posture was near regal, but relaxed, like the nobility she was, that infernal smirk dancing across her dripping lips, soaked in what the poor lamb hoped was lipstick and not something more organic. Silence reigned supreme, a danse macabre of facial expressions and body language taking place instead.

Finally, Olivia spoke; tone smooth and icy cold. Unwavering, unamused. "I'll say this one more time. Give it back." The other girl stepped back, terror flashing in her dark eyes, whites contrasting the dark brown iris, pupil shrunk to the size of a pea. "I- I- I'm not afraid of you! S-So just leave me alone, freak!" The lie was obvious, weak, pathetic. Olivia remained emotionless, smirk gone, replaced with a look devoid of life or empathy. "Give it back." The girl gained a hopeful, golden sliver of confidence, just enough to shout "NO!" defiantly. Before the echo had even bounced off the far wall, Olivia grabbed her by the neck, pinning her down.

The warehouse was lofty and rusted over, walls covered in moss and brick dust, chunks of old cement littering the floor. Olivia watched her victim squirm like an insect, chuckling as blood from the back of her head stained the wall and her face went red with a lack of proper blood flow, making her dizzy.

The world felt tight beneath Olivia's grip. Where her fingers held her in place, the skin burned and itched, lungs begging for air. Through the muffled tone in her ears, she heard her speaking."You have something of mine. I will get it back. Whether or not your heart is still beating, or indeed still in your body, is entirely up to you." Perturbed, the girl gave a look of undulated fear for her continued existence on this planet.

The near-dead teen managed to croak out one last question, throat burning, vision swimming as the world began to fade. "How did you even find me here?" Olivia simply smiled. The last thing the girl heard was the soft whisper in her ear, chilling to the bone, soft, far too calm. "The real question is, do you really know where 'here' is?"

Well? Do you?