thinking about buck and the callous way he treats his identity. a form of suicide, almost. or maybe it's just murder. evan died in a motorcycle crash and buck was just borrowing his name until he got his own in the fire academy. buck 1.0, 2.0, 3.0. died of a broken heart. crushed under a firetruck. oh him? he drowned. tsunami, you see. terrible thing. he drags the corpse of evan out when his parents visit, puppeteers the gangly body, too small for him now, moves his rot-soft jaw to make the words come out. they come out a little scrambled anyways. after the lightning strike, buck stands in a graveyard and tells his best friend that he is not himself anymore. it's not sad, he's just confused. every time, the new person with buck's name is just figuring out who people believe him to be this time. a game of imposter. eddie tells buck that he thought the man he knew didn't make it out of new mexico and this version of buck wonders for a moment whether or not to tell him about the corpse in the striped shirt in bonnie's basement that he had to step over. he decides not to. he's scared eddie will ask what his real name is. he hasn't decided yet. it's not sad, it's just a little weird.
