‘China? it’s quite far away’ - This line has always bothered me.
It’s key to understanding Stede’s not having let go of his past. Quite far away from what? He’s already left everything of significance from his past, hasn’t he? His present currently is service to the Crown for ten years under duress. Hard pass there. And everything of significance in a future in China is sitting right next to him, holding his hand, stroking his back; has just kissed him with love for the first time in his life…
It’s all very well playing pirates in your own backyard. Deep down, Stede was never quite done with Bridgetown, not the first time around. He wanted the choice to go back to remain as a sort of comfort blanket, even if he never took it.
Going to China is cutting all ties with his wife and especially his children, possibly forever. It’s cutting ties with everything he has ever known, including privilege. And that’s scary. Look how easily Stede can return when he decides to, for whatever reason. Can’t do that from China. Stede’s not ready psychologically. The guilt is too much. The fear of the unknown is too much. It makes what he’s done real in a way it wasn’t real before, or so he feels. I doubt much reasoning is going on. This all takes place at a visceral level.
China is too far away for me to pretend this wasn’t forever.
Stede had to go back.
