Unspoken Desires (Desire and Decorum Modern AU) (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/story/230467678-unspoken-desires-desire-and-decorum-modern-au?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_myworks&wp_uname=Lilibeth_95 (Fanfic Serie based on the Pixelberry visual novel "Desire and Decorum") All her life, Beatrice Howard was told that her father had died before she was born. At the age of ten, a tragedy opens the door to truth and to a new life, full of joy, but with some thorns along the way. In this modern AU, Beatrice grows up surrounded by the characters we all love. With them, she will learn that love can take many forms and that there is no obstacle that it cannot overcome...The most important lesson, however, is that we cannot escape our desires...nor run away from what fate has chosen for us.
Tom begins combining his blue dreads, his red eyes looking towards the mirror as he blushes. It's been over a year since he began his relationship with Becca. Though he haven't met the blond girls family yet he is excited for their future together.
"Becca Are you almost ready?" Today was their date. Between work and organizing their new home they haven't had the time. The man then puts on his skull black shirt standing up from the chair Infront of the bathroom mirror and walk over to the room him and Becca sleeps in. "Don't peak you idiot!" Becca says through the door Tom Adjusts his shirt and leans against the couch after a minute later Becca comes out smiling at Tom "like what you see?"
Tom's eyes widen at Becca's dress and he pulls her close the two grin and passionately kiss their tongues move along with the other after a moment of kissing The man grins "You look very beautiful. Let's go" Becca and Tom leave from their home and hours later The couple sits at a burger joint cuddled up. As Becca sips her drink her eyes falls onto Tom's as he smiles at her. Suddenly behind them a couple was fighting. The man with glasses glare at the woman with glasses as the man shoved her "Nancy I told you! Mewtwo is the strongest Pokemon in the whole world!" Nancy shoves her boyfriend back clenching her fists "And I'm saying Arceus is the strongest Pokemon!" As The random couple continue to argue both Tom and Becca chuckle as he holds her close, Becca frowns.
"I..When I was with Chris we always argued during freshman year him and I always fought because of Emily. Then he left me for her" She sighs as she looks up at Tom. "Life is all about chances Becca you may have left Chris long ago but you found me. And I never been happier" Tom kisses Becca's nose and nuzzle her forehead.
"No matter how many fights or what comes our way I'm here for you. I'm with you for the long haul" The waitress sets down a cup of eggnog and Tom takes the cup sipping it, Becca jokingly says "I don't know how you can drink that stuff" Tom smiles at Becca and plays with her blond hair. As the date goes on They later arrive home. Tom smiles as he's behind Becca covering her face as they both stepped inside. "Ok open your eyes"
Tom uncovers Becca's eyes as she opens them and sees a petal of rose petals all the way to their Room smiling at Tom she pulls him close looking into his red eyes lustfully "You sneaky boyfriend of mine" Becca grips Tom's collar and kisses him passionately then with ease Tom carries Becca towards their room as he lays her on the bed passionately kissing each other He slowly takes off her pants and panties causing Becca to blush darkly Tom's smile turns into a smirk. "Haven't shaved I see" Becca rolling her eyes grabs Tom's head leading his head between her legs....
After an hour of love making Tom holds Becca close the two deep asleep.
A/N: next chapter between Tom and Becca..family issues. Stay tuned!
Summary: Raleigh and MC broke up a few months ago and now they meet again at the party, Raleigh being engaged and MC being brokenhearted. How will they handle seeing each other again?
Warnings: A bit of swearing
He was with her.
Ruby took a sip of her drink, trying to ignore the shaking of her hand when she raised the glass to her mouth. She swallowed the liquid, welcoming the familiar feeling of warmth spreading throughout her body right now and she sighed, heavily, her eyes almost involuntarily moving and stopping at the couple, standing at the other side of the room and grinning widely.
Of course he was with her.
When she agreed to attend this party, Avery warned her that he may be there, that it is almost impossible to avoid seeing him there. So she knew the risk, she knew it since she accepted the invitation, she knew it when she was getting ready for the party and she knew it when she was leaving the limo and entering the mansion.
The only thing she wasn't prepared for, was the sight of him with her. Ruby clenched her hand around the glass, squeezing it as hard as she could, still being unable to turn away, to look anywhere else, but not on them. Yet she was hypnotized, her eyes following every gesture, every smile, every kiss they exchanged, greeting guests, smiling, their hands laced together.
Why was she even surprised? They were inseparable after all.
One month ago huge news appeared all around the media, shocking practically everyone and especially the people who knew him – Raleigh Carrera got engaged. To no one else but Becca Atwood. She was a model, a rising star of Pictagram and, apparently, the hottest body of the summer as some thirsty people called her. Her face was everywhere, her huge smile, probably being the result of hundreds of visits to orthodontists, was on almost every billboard in the city when the newest cosmetic brand asked her to be their face. Someone would call her perfect, long blonde hair, falling in perfect waves onto her shoulders, her big blue eyes, always accented with a thin line drawn at her upper eyelid with eyeliner, her full lips, perfectly shaped, always covered with red lipstick and she, tall, slim, with an almost impossibly small waist, self-confident, tempting, shining, being perfect.
At the beginning it all started just like always – she and Raleigh were spotted together, holding hands and soon all kind of media was filled with their photos, posing together, exchanging kisses, making out, dating, spending together every second of their lives. She was just another star they have found for him, another gossip they created, another girl threw right into his arms...
Not so long ago she was that kind of girl...
With an annoyed snort she emptied the glass, in one gulp swallowing the rest of her drink.
Now it wasn't a good time to remember that...
She shot a quick look at the waiter who approached her, offering the tray to her. Ruby thank him with a nod of her head and weak smile and put down her glass there. For a moment she looked after the waiter, mingling among the guests, tray perfectly balanced in his hand. And then she sighed, again, once again looking left, her earrings swaying lightly with the movement of her head.
They were still there...
The corners of her lips dropped when she moved her gaze across two figures standing not so far from her. She was wearing a tight red dress, with a deep cut, showing her perfectly shaped leg every time she barely moved, her hair as always curled into waves, falling onto her shoulders. Almost unconsciously Ruby reached out to her own hair, touching them and with sadness realizing how bland she must have looked, compared to someone like Becca. The girl laughed, throwing her head back, and soon she was leaning down, whispering something to Raleigh's ear, his lips raising in a smirk, almost like she was telling him the best joke ever.
He was wearing the same black tuxedo as always, the sight of him, dressed up like this, bringing a soft smile to her lips and once again awaking something inside her, that kind of emotion she thought that was long gone. But it was enough to see him, even if just from the distance, to burst out, all of the tames crashing down when she couldn't stop this familiar feeling of being drawn to him, this warmth pooling in her chest, when he was like a magnet, pulling her closer and closer. Yet no matter how much she wanted to move, to simply walk over to him, how much she wanted to throw her arms around him, and bring her lips to his in a kiss, she knew she couldn't.
She has lost the right to do this a long time ago.
The warmth in her chest was quickly replaced by the heavy burden, in her stomach, when she was flooded with sadness, with despair, now remembering just how much she had lost, how many memories, how many nights she spent on crying, putting all of her emotions into songs, dozens of songs that she has written late at nights, those songs she kept on humming in the shower, yet the songs that were never meant to be heard by any other ear.
After all, it was all for entertainment, why would she tell anyone just how real was her pain?
She knew she should simply look back, that she should turn around, grab another drink, go mingle with other guests, and pretend that he is not here. She should have fun, dancing and partying with her friends, she should drink as much as she could, not caring if she's drunk or not, she should do things she will regret later and live like there's no tomorrow. How long should she be drowning in her sorrow, in her pain, over a man that she knew will bring her nothing but heartbreak?
She looked up and at that moment heart stopped beating for a second in her chest.
Because he was looking right at her.
His dark eyes locked with hers, a look of surprise, like he would never suspect to see her here, like he was shocked that she was standing there, almost within the reach of his hand, just on the other side of the room. He blinked, once, twice and then his gaze started to move, slipping across her figure, lower and lower, before he returned to her face, the look he gave her, showing her every little emotion he was hiding, every little word he'd like to tell her and he couldn't.
And she couldn't stand it anymore.
Without a word, Ruby turned around and left the room, the door shutting close behind her back when she ran into the garden, further and further away, just as far as possible from this house, from this party, from him.
Why was she thinking she could do it? Was it her pride that blinded her, making her think that she could stand being in the same room with them, without a single emotion? Was she really so naive, thinking that agreeing to this will give her the closure? Was she that stupid, lying to herself that she could look at him without missing him as much as she did right now?
A single tear fell from her eye, falling across her cheek and Ruby wiped it away angrily, not caring if this careless gesture will ruin her makeup or not. She will never be as perfect as Becca, so what was the point of trying and pretending? Another tear and another angry gesture of getting rid of it, until finally she sighed heavily and sat down at the nearest swing. And as soon as she did, she took a deep, ragged breath, before letting it go, slowly, her eyes closing.
The noises coming from the party were barely noticeable here, the only sounds she could hear were crickets and the soothing noise of trees and bushes being moved by the gusts of warm wind. She was finally away from all of this... She took another deep breath, much calmer now, and let the air out, listening to the sounds of the night, getting lost in them, letting the serenity of this place, of this night wash over her, letting all of the thoughts to go away. The swing was rocking slowly with every move of her feet, when she was gently pushing it, front and back, the wood creaking just so slightly under the movements and gentle wind messing her hair.
At least now she knew that she wasn't ready, at least now she knew that no matter what Avery was telling her, she still needed more time to heal, more time to forget, more time to learn how to live with the broken heart... Or somehow learn how to heal it.
„Hi, Ruby.”
For a moment heart stopped in her chest, when she heard the voice right behind her back, the voice that she would recognize everywhere, the voice that still haunted her in her dreams, the voice that she could still remember whispering her name, softly, sweetly, with adoration, when not so long ago they were laying together in bed, hands intertwined, the voice...
His voice.
She swallowed hard and turned around, slowly, oh, so slowly, until finally, she dared to raise her eyes and look at the man standing in front of her.
Shit.
She really hoped that she will be safe here, in the garden, far from other guests, when the party was in a full swing inside Ozone's home. And most importantly she was hoping that he won't find her here and she wouldn't have to deal with any kind of confrontation. Especially after running away like a fool, in front of him...
Karma was a bitch, wasn't it?
And why did he have to look so fucking good?
Although she had seen him in this suit dozens of times before, he was still capable of taking her breath away, especially when he was standing so close.
Too close.
„Raleigh.” She said finally, surprised just how casual her voice was.
Maybe all those hours she had practiced with Fiona, learning how to be someone she was not, truly helped her to hide her real thoughts? Helped her pretend that she was always fine? Even when she wasn't.
„I wasn't sure if you will be here tonight...”
„Well, it's Ozone, of course, I couldn't miss it in a world." Ruby managed to smile.
„Yeah, that's true.” Raleigh nodded, looking down at the drink he was holding in his hand.
Tequila, probably, Ruby thought to herself.
They were standing there for a moment, this uncomfortable silence between them, even though not so long ago every moment they have spent together were filled with hushed voices, excited whispers, sweet words, when they couldn't stop talking. And now?
Another thing that has changed and will never go back to what was before...
"May I sit down?" Raleigh pointed to the swing and Ruby shrugged, looking back from him.
She knew she should have said 'no', that she should cut him off, maybe even stand up and run away yet again. But her whole body wanted nothing more than to tell him 'yes', to have right there, next to her, his warm body being so close, within the reach of her hand... This time he made the decision for her and after a moment of hesitation he approached her, sitting on the swing, right next to her.
And then there was this silence again.
This embarrassing silence she couldn't stand at all.
„Well, I think I should congratulate you?” Ruby cleared her throat.
„Congratulate me?”
„On your engagement of course.” She said, before biting her tongue.
Shit.
Raleigh's face fell and his shoulders slumped when he looked right into her eyes. And at that moment she could read everything from them. Regrets, pure hurt, and even more regrets when his eyes found hers.
Idiot.
She was such an idiot.
„Raleigh... I'm sorry... I...”
„Naah, that's okay. I guess I kinda deserved it, huh?” He scoffed, taking a sip of his tequila.
„No... You don't deserve any of this... I know it wasn't your choice, so I could shove those congratulations up my...”
„Yeah, yeah, I get the picture." Raleigh snorted and for a small moment the tension was gone, he was smirking and she was relaxing when this one terrible joke seemed to crush the first layer of the wall they have put up this evening. "It's fucked up, you know?"
"What?"
"This." He made a gesture with his hand, almost like he was trying to embrace the whole garden. "Me, at this party, with my fiancee on my shoulder, pretending I am the happiest man on Earth." He scoffed, shaking his head.
"It is all arranged?" She asked, even though she knew the real answer.
Well, she hoped she knew the real answer.
But she'd rather hear it from him, she'd rather get the confirmation that it was all done against what he wanted, that it was all done simply for the public, that it was all just a huge lie and he was a victim.
"Of course it is." Raleigh sighed heavily. "They just called me one day and told me they arranged this cruise, rented a boat and I am supposed to propose..."
„You couldn't say no?”
„And what do you think?" Raleigh snorted. „They tell you to date, your date; they tell you to get engaged, you get engage; they tell you to break up and you..." He hung his voice suddenly, before shooting her a glance. He really had to go that way, huh? „...you break up...” He finished finally, taking a sip of his drink.
„Don't you think it's too much? How far should we allow them to go? To control our lives like that?”
„You know damn well how this works, Ruby.” He snorted again. „You want fame, you want recognition, you want a good press. So you do what they say. You have to allow them or you're out.”
„I still think it's not fair.”
„Nope. Nope, it's not.” Raleigh took the last sip of his tequila and sighed. "Nothing is fair in this life..."
Ruby said nothing and the silence fell between them once again.
„Do you ever think about it?" Raleigh asked suddenly, straightening, the swing swaying slightly under the force of his sudden movement.
„About what?”
„How our lives could look like if they weren't dictated by the others? If we could choose where to go, who to date?" He looked down at the empty glass in his hands. „Do you ever wonder..." He hung his voice, suddenly refusing to finish his thought.
Because what was the point?
He knew damn well that his dreams were never meant to happen, that his hopes were nothing more but hopes of a naive man, the one he apparently still was. They had no future together, it all ended when their PRs decided they're outdated, that no one cares about them dating so they have to break up. Their relationship was over, just like that, just because someone said so and thinking how it could have been was nothing more than a pure torment.
So why bring it up?
„Yes?” Ruby's voice brought him back to reality and he looked at her.
Her dark eyes were shining in the dark garden, a reflection of a moonlight twinkling like stars when she was looking at him, eyes wide opened, with such vulnerability, silently asking him to finish his thought, to give her a reason to torment as well.
„What if... What if... We could become real?”
Echo of his voice disappeared between the bushes surrounding them and suddenly there was nothing but silence.
Ruby blinked, once, twice, her eyes averting from his face and looking somewhere over his shoulder, almost like she had found the most interesting thing there.
And her thoughts became restless.
How many times she has been through this one 'what if', how many hours she has spent fantasizing about them being together, not because someone told them, but because they wanted to, on their own terms; how many sleepless nights when she was letting tears fall from her eyes and sink into the pillow under her head when she was crying after the man she had lost, a man that was never meant to be hers. At least not in the way she'd want him to be. How many dreams of his arms around her, how many fantasies of his kisses, his smile, his warmth, his body right next to hers...
And the harsh realization that it was never meant to be.
They were never meant to be.
„Yes...” She whispered finally, yet still refusing to look at him. „More often than I'd like to admit...”
She could hear him take a ragged breath and then the clink of the glass hitting the ground when she simply dropped it from his hand, not caring if it can shatter of not.
And only when he whispered her name she dared to look at him.
„Ruby..." His voice trembled when he spoke her name again, his hands reaching out to her, clasping her palms between his, with that strange, unspoken desperation. „I want you to know that... What we had... It was real for me." He confessed, looking down at their hands, fingers lacing together, almost like they were taught to do this and only this. „They could have initiated it, but... I have never felt like this with anyone ever before and I probably never will again..." He looked up at her and knit his eyebrows at the sight of teardrops appearing in her eyes and threatening to spill. „There isn't a day when I wouldn't regret that we never had a real chance..." He drew in a ragged breath, reaching out to her, his trembling hand placing on her cheek. „And there isn't a day when I am not thinking about you..." With a sad smile he brushed away the first tear from her cheek.
She knew it was wrong, she knew that if someone would spot them here, no matter who, another star, singer, actor, a random paparazzi – their reputations would be destroyed. And she had enough drama in her life for the last few months, a new scandal wouldn't look good in her resume. But...
He did feel so good.
Her body once again was acting against her rational brain, when she leaned into his touch, her eyelids fluttering when she closed her eyes, covering his hand with her own, pressing it stronger to her skin, the warmth so familiar, so good...
„If only we could...” She started to speak, but her voice cracked and gave up, refusing to emit a single sound more.
Raleigh leaned even closer, pulling her near to his body until their foreheads finally touched. She could feel his warm breath on her mouth, the air he let out with his every breath softly touched her skin, drying the tears streaming down her face. She shouldn't be crying, she hated herself for that, especially that she was mourning the loss of something she never truly had in the first place. Yet tears were falling, one after another, marking her dress, marking the sleeves of his suit, the familiar saltiness on her lips when she licked her mouth, suddenly so dry.
He was so close.
She could see this almost invisible scar at the side of his face, the one loose hair strand that fell onto his forehead, the way his dark eyes scanned her face, unable to look back when he seemed mesmerized by her, drawn to her by this invisible force. She blinked and Raleigh noticed one lonely teardrop now glued to her dark lashes and he wanted nothing more than to kiss this place, get rid of this tear, to make her happy again, to see her lips lifting in the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. But he wasn't the one to do this anymore, was he? He lost his right to do that when he had lost her... A sigh escaped his lips when he looked down to her mouth, his thumb now agonizingly slowly stroking her lower lip, her warm breath tingling his skin. Would it be so bad to taste her, one last time? Would it be so terrible to give her the proper goodbye, the one she had always deserved? Would it be so selfish to kiss her, just this once? Her mouth parted slowly under his touch, a small sigh escaping them and with it an almost inaudible noise when she whispered his name, like a prayer, like a request, like a favor, asking him to do what they both were craving for.
And then he closed the gap between them and his lips found hers.
He kissed her slowly, tenderly, with no rush at all, when he was savoring the taste of her lips first time in months, trying to prolong this moment as much as he could, when he wanted to memorize every little detail of her. The way her lips moved against his, answering to his kisses, the way her hands wrapped around his neck, fingers tangling between his strands; the way she tasted, the sweetness of her vanilla lipstick now on his mouth when he kissed her again and again and again.
They knew they had to be careful, risking someone spotting them, yet at the same time it seemed like the whole world around them disappeared, shrinking to nothing but this serene part of the garden and the swing they were sitting on. Raleigh arms wrapped around her waist, finding a comfortable place on her back when he pulled her body closer to his, their chests colliding and a soft gasp escaping Ruby's lips at the sudden impact. But he silenced her with yet another kiss, more desperate, more hungry this time when his tongue slipped between her lips, asking for permission, the one she happily gave him. Her nails scraped the base of his neck causing him to murmur with delight, until it turned into a moan, full of pleasure when she gently tugged at his hair. He dragged her even closer, his hand moving down, across her back, lower and lower, finding the cut at the side of her dress and slipping under it, his warm palm almost burning the skin on her thigh where it rested, squeezing her gently, yet hard enough to make her sigh. Ruby wasn't sure for how long they stayed like this, kissing, touching, wrapped into each other embrace, none of them wanting to be the first one to stop this.
Until finally they had to, their lips parting, their bodies moving away, yet their eyes still locked onto each other.
„Well...” Ruby cleared her throat. „It's definitely a better break up than last time...”
Raleigh snorted with laughter and his longing gaze moved across her face once again, almost like he was trying to memorize every little detail of it.
„I truly care for you, Ruby.” He confessed. „I want you to know that.”
„I know.” She smiled sadly, cocking her head to the side. „And I care for you, Raleigh.”
„Even though I am a flirt, rebel, and a heartbreaker?" He raised his eyebrow, a familiar smirk appearing on his face and Ruby felt her self smiling as well.
„Yes.” She assured, reaching out to him, tenderly brushing away a few strands of his hair from his forehead. „So this is goodbye, huh?”
„Well, we'll see each other at parties like that, so...”
„You know what I mean...”
„Yeah... I know...” They sat there, in silence, the swing swaying gently under their movements, their hands still locked together, fingers laced, when in this silence, this stolen moment, they were saying their silent goodbyes, none of them wanting to the first one to break this apart.
Until finally Raleigh sighed and stood up, pressing one last kiss to her lips, a sad smile lifting corners of his mouth.
„See you around?” He asked, taking a step back, but still unable to let go of her hand, the grip of it around her palm only increasing.
„Yeah. See you around.” Ruby nodded, finding last remnants of strength to smile.
If her grimace could have been called a smile...
Raleigh took another step back and another, the hold of his hand around her weakening with every step he was taking.
Their fingers started to separate, unable to stand the distance so big, the warmth of his hand disappearing from hers.
One last longing look of their eyes, one last sad smiles on their faces, the last brush of fingertips against each other.
And then he was turning around, disappearing behind the nearest tree, the sound of his steps slowly disappearing in the distance.
Summary: What if the group discover that Hayden was part of a scientific experiment, and he’s human and he is struggling to process all that? - The following scene happens when the group breaks into Eros facilities and Hayden is shot.
Author’s note: I had this idea when the book was still releasing new chapters, I was hoping for something like that instead of following with the robot thing, but I only could write now. Be aware English is not my mother language. The characters belong to PB. I used a few lines from chapter 10/11.
Word count: 3296
Warnings: A little angst, a little fluffy.
P.S 1= Thank you @boowoomuu for helping me with the review!
P.S 2= This is a tribute to my dear friend @a-teardrop-blog ♥
_____________
Gessica and Nadia busted thought the doors of the rear exit, and out into the alley behind the building. Hayden ran to meet her, wrapping his arms protectively around her.
“I was worried about you, what’s going on? Where’s Sloane? She picked me up and told me to wait out here for her.”
“She ran off! No time to explain! We have to go!” Nadia shouted.
Then they looked over to Damien, he was holding the door closed as the two guards banged against it from the other side.
“Don’t know how long I can hold them! Running would be good!” He yelled.
With one final heave, the door swang open, throwing Damien back! The guards rushed out, tasers down! “Take ’em all!”
The guard took aim at Gessica and Hayden dived in front of her. “Gessica! NO!”
When the taser hit him, he fell on the ground unconscious with an expression of pain in his face.
Gessica ran to help him with tears in her eyes. “Hayden! What have you done?” Where the taser hit him, cloth and skin have burned.
Suddenly, a screech of tires sounds from the entrance of the alley, as a van came barreling toward the group. The guards jumped out of the way as the van skidded to a halt between the attackers and the group of friends. On the driver’s seat was Sloane. Nadia opened the van doors as Gessica and Damien hauled Hayden inside. One guard shouted out into his radio as the van speedeed away.
Sloane drove at top speed, but an Eros security vehicle kept pace a few hundred yards behind.
While Sloane tried to dodge the persecutors from Eros, Hayden cried out in pain in the back of the van.
“I’m freaking out back here, Hayden got shot!”
Sloane tried to calm Gessica down. “He’ll be okay! I’ll look into him, and I’ll help him, once we’re off the road!”
“Why they don’t loose us?” Damien asked angrily.
“Damn it! The van signal!”
“You didn’t think about getting a car they couldn’t follow?”
“I disabled Hayden’s tracking chip and the GPS on my phone, but I-”
Approaching the car, the guard moved and reached inside the van to grab one in the group. Gessica slammed the door on the guard’s arm and he jerked back in pain, and as she shouted and locked the door, she saw him fall back into Eros’s SUV, clutching his arm. “Is everyone okay?”
“NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS OKAY!” Nadia yelled.
Sloane ducked her head under the dashboard and the van slowly drifted into the next lane. She pulled a mess of wires free from beneath the console, rolled down her window and chucked it out onto the highway. “Take that!”
“What did you just do?” Nadia asked.
“I just fried Ero’s control module. Consider us officially off the grid. I know a safe place, we’re heading there.”
After a brief discussion about trust with Damien, Sloane drove like crazy off of the city until she slowed down the van to a normal pace and took a deep breath. “I’m sure you have questions…”
“First thing first, chip? What do you mean?” Gessica asked staring at Sloane from the mirror.
“I’ll explain better later, but there’s a chip in his brain, Eros use them as a part of a neural experimental project, and to track them.”
“Who’s them?” Nadia asked this time.
“The matches. Like Steve and Hayden.”
“Care to elaborate?” Damien asked in an interrogation tone.
“I’ll explain all the details later!”
“Wait a minute, if he has a chip on his brain, were you guys from Eros controlling him all this time? So, our relationship was a lie?”
Sloane’s eyes popped on her face. “No! I mean, it’s true that Hayden isn’t what or who you thought he was. But the relationship wasn’t fake. He didn’t lie to you.”
“I’m not following…”
“Oh God, he doesn’t know. Hayden has no idea about the chip and who he truly is!” Nadia said in shock.
“She’s right. Hayden’s chip is programmed to block his old memories, from his previous life. As far as he knows, he went to Eros and took the quiz, just like you did.” Sloane confessed. “Hayden believes you’re his perfect match, too. He had no idea any of this was happening.” She said looking into Gessica’s eyes.
Damien angrily interrupted. “It seems to be a lot of that going around.”
Gessica looked at Hayden still unconscious in her arms and ran a hand through his hair, wondering what Hayden had been through before she knew him, if Eros had hurt him.
“Look, I’ll answer any questions you have, but right now we have to take care of this burn on his skin.” Sloane said and drove until she parks the car on the side of the street but before they got out of the car, Gessica saw a familiar face in front of the supposed Sloane’s safe house.
“Get us out of here!” Nadia shouted.
Slowly Sloane drove the car back the way she came, everyone holding their breath. A while later Damien spoke. “Eros has information on all of us, if there was any connection between you and that place, of course, they would have guessed you were going to hide there, or all of our homes too!”
Sloane’s face fell down.
“Let’s head to my office for now. I keep it under a different name specifically for this reason. And in the meantime, Sloane can explain more about all of this.”
Everyone on the van agreed.
Within minutes they got to Damien’s office and Nadia ran to the bathroom while Sloane and Damien helped Gessica put Hayden comfortably on a sofa.
“Let me take care of this wound. Damien, do you have any first aid kit here?” Sloane asked.
Damien grabbed the kit and handed it to her. She started to clean the burn with saline, put burn ointment and placed gauze and dressing on the wound on Hayden’s rib, while Gessica ran her hands through Hayden’s hair.
“Is he going to be ok?”
“I hope so.” Sloane answered, putting a bandage on Hayden’s wound.
“So, I think it’s time Sloane.” Damien interrupted the silence in the room.
Sloane took a deep breath, but before she could talk, Hayden woke up and hissed in pain. He put a hand on his head and stifled a scream.
Gessica put a hand on his shoulder and kneeled beside him. “I’m here, we’re all here.”
He looked into her eyes, squeezed her hand and tried to smile, but it could be seen in his eyes. He was still in pain. He looked around and asked. “Where are we? How did we get here?”
Gessica tried to explain to him all that happened and continued. “We’re in Damien’s office.”
“Is everyone okay? Did we make it out?”
“We’re fine. Everyone’s fine. You were the one we were worried about.”
“You took a bad hit by one of Eros’s tasers, and it knocked you out. Do you remember that?” Sloane added.
“I remember getting shot… and then it’s just a blur.” He looked at his body, where he got burned, but now it was a bandage on it.
“Sloane took care of your wound, but she owes us some explanations.”
Sloane’s face fell. “It’s only fair. Ok, Hayden, the headache you’re feeling now it’s because the chip on your brain was fried.”
“What? What chip? What are you talking about?”
“Jeez… Where do I start? You… you are part of a neural experiment…”
“What?” Hayden asked in shock.
“Please, before anything I’m so sorry for everything that happened to you. I was chosen to keep track of your development after the chip being implanted into your brain. But I haven’t been at Eros long enough to know what goes on in the upper ranks.”
“I don’t understand…”
“You were in a coma for almost four years and the doctors said you probably would not wake up anymore, Eros was watching you closely to see if anyone would ever try to find you, to contact you since no relatives were found..."
Hayden screamed in pain with his hands in his head.
“Oh my God, Damien do you have any painkillers here?” Gessica asked desperately.
Damien looked in the bathroom and got back with the pill. Gessica grabbed a cup of water and gave it to Hayden, who swallowed the pill.
After a few deep breaths, his face with sadness looked pleadingly. “Why… why was I in a coma?”
“I don’t know the details, but for your hospital record, you were admitted after a car accident, you stayed in a coma and your wife died.” She answered, her voice full of guilt.
“Wife?” Hayden and Gessica asked at the same time.
“As I said, she died. Eros didn’t find any relatives on either side. That’s the main reason Eros chose you to be a part of the experiment. They always choose someone who is alone in the world, who doesn’t have anyone to go after you.”
“I don’t understand, but why? Why me? Without my consent…”
“I’m sorry Hayden, I just know the project seeks to erase the memory from your previous life, before the chip, before Eros, they say the human brain is a mystery, and they want to give a new chance in life for some people.”
“Wait a minute; my name… isn’t Hayden, right?” Sloane opened her mouth, but before she could answer, he interrupted her. “You know what? No, I don’t want to know. Not yet.”
He held Gessica’s hand and looked into her eyes. “I’m sorry to put you in all this.”
She squeezed his hand back. “It’s not your fault Hayden, none of this is. We are both victims of Eros here.”
Damien, who was listening in the room’s corner, interrupted. “Why a dating service?”
“Eros needed to test whether if the chip had blocked their old memories, feelings for someone else. So they thought a dating service is the simplest way to meet strangers and arrange to spend several hours with them.”
“These bastards!” Damien said angrily.
“So… Hayden had some memory issues lately…” Gessica said.
Hayden interrupted her. “Like the day I brought you the same drink twice…”
Gessica completed. “Or the day at the opera when you told me, you were feeling like you are someone else.”
Hayden’s face was crestfallen. “In a way… this makes sense. I kept feeling like there was something… wrong somehow.”
Sloane's eyes popped. “Why didn’t you tell me? These glitches mean something’s gone wrong, it could be permanent neural damage now.”
“How… how could this happen to me?” Hayden asked, defeated.
Sloane didn’t know what to answer. She put a hand on Hayden’s shoulder. “Hayden, I think I should leave you and Gessica to talk alone, but just so you know, I’m not just your guardian, I’m your friend. You grew on me, no matter what I’m here for you.”
Hayden smiled, but a smile that couldn’t reach his eyes. “Thank you, Sloane.”
She left the room, and Gessica asked, gesturing to the couch. “Can I?”
He nodded and sat with his elbows on his knees, his hands on his head. He was totally confused about the whole situation.
Gessica broke the silence. “Look, I can leave you alone if you want.”
He quickly stopped her. “No, please. Stay with me. I don’t wanna impose or anything, but I don’t wanna be alone now.”
She smiled. “Then, I’ll stay.”
He turned on the couch, staying face to face with Gessica. He cupped her face with a hand. “I’m sorry for not being who you think. However, in the middle of this whole mess, the only thing I can promise it’s my feelings for you are real.”
Gessica cupped his face too and stared into his eyes. “Hayden, you don’t have to promise anything right now, I can’t imagine what you’re going through. You owe me nothing.”
He smiled. “I know, but it is what I feel. And it means a lot that you’re still here with me, that you still see me as… me.”
-x-
A few weeks later, after traveling to hide in another city, Gessica was sitting on a couch in Nadia’s room. They were reviewing all the information they could find in this short time.
“Well, we couldn’t find Steve, yet. But now, we know who he was in the past.”
Nadia was almost going crazy. His social media was deleted, and she didn’t know where else to look for any information that could lead to his whereabouts. Gessica was looking at Nadia worried, she had never seen her cousin so broken like that.
“Nadia? Is everything okay? You’ve been looking at this screen for a long time… Did you find something new?”
Nadia sighed and looked at Gessica with sadness in her eyes. “No. Nothing, yet. You know… Sometimes I woke up in the middle of the night wondering how he is, if he remembers anything at all about us.”
Gessica stood up from the couch and sat beside Nadia rubbing her arms. “We will find him! I promise you, Nadia! Eros can’t hide Steve forever, and if Hayden could be set free from their mind control, so can Steve.”
“Hey girls!” Hayden knocked on the room’s door.
Gessica whispered at Nadia’s ear. “I’ll go talk to him outside, ok? In the meantime, go eat something! That’s an order!”
“Fine, mommy!” Nadia answered annoyed.
Gessica opened the door. “Hey, Hayden!”
He smiled shyly. “Can… Can we talk?”
“Sure.” She led him to the kitchen. “Do you want anything to eat?”
“Actually… I was thinking about going for a walk… Breath fresh air…”
“Say no more.” She smiled, and they got out of the house.
There was a backyard outside with some trees where they walked for a while in silence. However, Gessica could see that Hayden didn’t invite her to just walk in the night, but at the same time, she wanted to give him the opportunity to do things in his way. And it didn’t take long for him to slow his pace.
“Do you want to sit?”
She nodded, and they sat on a bench.
“So…” Hayden broke the silence. “I don’t know how to begin…”
“Take your time Hayden, it’s written all over your face that you want to say something. Whatever it is, I just want to make sure you’re ok.”
He smiled, sincerely, for the first time in a while. “Gê…” He took one of her hands in his own and held it, looking into her eyes. “I want to thank you, you’ve been through with me these last few weeks. I don’t know how you managed to take care of me and give me space at the same time.” He looked down at their hands and squeezed it. “I’ve had a hard time to process the whole thing, the chip, my identity, all that Sloane could find about my past, my lost family-”
Gessica caressed his hand, trying not to demonstrate how sad she was for him. “Hey, I can’t imagine what you are going through, what you’re feeling, but all I wanted this whole time is for you to know that I’m here for you. That’s… what friends are for…” She said the last phrase with a different kind of sadness.
“I’m sorry for always bothering you. And thank you for always listening to me. You’re the only one I feel I can talk, even if sometimes I shouldn’t.”
“Why are you saying this?”
“Every time I try to talk about it with Sloane, she looks at me with so much… guilt. And I hate making her feel that way.”
They were still holding each other’s hands. “About my identity… I’ve been thinking…”
“Do you know what your name before Eros was?”
“Not yet… I’ve been having a few flashes of memory since the day the chip was burned, but nothing concrete yet. Sloane found in my medical history, but I didn’t want to know, yet. What do you think?”
“Well… I think Hayden suits you but in the end, this is something for you to decide, but just so you know whatever your decision on how to be called is, I’ll approve.”
He smiled. “Yes… and you know what? I define who I am, or who Hayden is, not Eros.”
Gessica smiled too. “Exactly.”
After a few seconds just looking at each other, when was getting awkward, Hayden opened his mouth but say nothing.
“What?” She asked with no clue of what he was thinking.
“There’s something else I want to talk to you about.”
“Go ahead, I’m all ears.”
He let go of her hands, rubbed the back of his neck and blushed hard. “Well… you gave me space and time when I most needed it and I really appreciate it. I know there are still a lot of things to solve, a battle against Eros ahead. And I know that I asked for this time… but I really liked our time together… So, I’ll understand if you feel like we’re no longer right for each other. It is a lot to process… and I understand if it’s too much for you…” He smiles nervously. “But I’d really like to give us a chance again.”
“Hayden-”
He interrupted her. “But I’ll completely understand if you want to remain as only friends, all I wish is your happiness even it means simply being your friend.”
She smiled brightly. “Hayden…” She cupped his face. “I want to be with you… and only you.”
There was a spark in his eyes, but still incredulous. “Really?”
“No matter what! Hayden, I miss you so much! We’ve been together in this house, but we were apart, and this was killing me. But I didn’t want to pressure you.”
“Pinch me! I want to feel this is real, that I’m not dreaming.”
She laughed. “Silly! You’re not dreaming I can prove it to you and not with a pinch.”
His lips curved in understanding.
She put a hand on his neck and kissed him, slowly, sweetly. When they got apart, she rested her forehead against his, smiling. “Hayden, I don’t care how we met; you could be an alien or even a robot… I’m crazy about you.”
Hearing this, he stood up from the bench and lifted her, wrapped his arms around her body spinning her around and yelled. “I’m the luckiest man on earth!”
They laughed happily.
She was getting dizzy. “Come on, you can put me down already, and don’t yell! We’re still hiding!”
Putting her down on the ground, he cupped her face in his hands, smiling. “I’m sorry if I just blew our cover, but I couldn’t help.”
“It’s ok. It’s us against the world now, together.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed Hayden again. “Are we all good now?”
“Very.” He kissed her this time. The kiss full of devotion at first, but soon the lust increased. “I know it’s still early, but I’m in the room beside yours, and my door is always open for you. If you want to visit me before going to bed…”
She smiled mischievously. “Depend on what we’re gonna do… are we going to watch TV until we fall asleep?”
Hayden chuckled and pushed her body against his. “If that’s what you want.” He kissed the tip of her nose.
She played the game and answered with sadness in her eyes. “Is it what you want?”
He smiled. “I think you know the answer to that.”
She laughed. “We both know… Ok, I’ll be there.” She hugged him, and he hugged her back. Both of them feeling hopeful about their future together, no matter what.
Unspoken Desires (Desire and Decorum Modern AU) - Affairs of the heart
(on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1155007632-unspoken-desires-desire-and-decorum-modern-au?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=Lilibeth_95&wp_originator=WvH9XYUqrkMHX70gOpUzsFd%2Bp584RnWdjEFipfpdBSRRqDldI5DXYwREt4tG8UkmmNm7bi2QfGEpuN7%2B9kpiGkDJcH%2F7dVtr3Dw5QWjFfQgbC2DHCG0xUfcUXdpkTvy5 (Fanfic Serie based on the Pixelberry visual novel "Desire and Decorum") All her life, Beatrice Howard was told that her father had died before she was born. At the age of ten, a tragedy opens the door to truth and to a new life, full of joy, but with some thorns along the way. In this modern AU, Beatrice grows up surrounded by the characters we all love. With them, she will learn that love can take many forms and that there is no obstacle that it cannot overcome...The most important lesson, however, is that we cannot escape our desires...nor run away from what fate has chosen for us.
