Happy Birthday Hayden!!! What can I say about Hayden?
Hayden shows us that no matter our limitations, it is always possible to overcome them and evolve into our best version. Hayden is an example of self-acceptance, loving and being understanding with yourself is the key to happiness. Of course we only saw a little piece of Hayden's amazing life, but with that little piece, we learned to be strong, trust those who really love us, always challenge ourselves with new things, explore what life has to offer... And so so much more 😍😍😍😍
So Happy Birthday Hayden!!!
And you? What has Hayden inspired you to?
A/N: Hey guys! So I finally got around to making a new PM fic. I’m not sure if this is sequel to the fic ‘‘Something Real’ or not. You can check it out on my Masterlist if you want. This fic is REALLY ANGSTY and it does involve character death so this is EXTREMELY SENSITIVE and it may be hard hitting to some viewers. I’m sorry I’m advance. 💗
This fic was inspired by the film ‘Seven Pounds’ and does include sensitive scenes.
Warning: T (does include character death and suicide)
PERMA TAG LIST: @brightpinkpeppercorn @cocomaxley@hopefulmoonobject@alesana45@jellybean-marshmellow@mymandrake@regrettingnathan@dobie2112@princesstopgun@mechaspirit@skyila@mind-reader1 @xo-endlessmayhem-xo@sakaily @justboredtrash@regina-and-happiness@flyawayblue56@annekebbphotography@endlessly-searching-for-you@reginasayeed@zigortega4life@eileendannie@alesana45@diamondoasis@speedyoperarascalparty @liam-rhys@emomoustache
This fic: @vakmero @countrymusicandncis-blog@darley1101 @playchoicesfangurl@potchi123@goirishsunshine@nekkidmolerat@museofbooks
Let me know if you wanna be tagged! 💗
Masterlist
‘Hello? 911 what’s your emergency?’
Heavy breath after heavy breath. It’s the only thing keeping Hayden calm as she walks herself through his situation. Nobody needs her. Nobody wants to keep her so why must she bother? Better using your metal parts for a good cause right? So why stay? Why prevent the population from growing by sticking around? Nobody needs her anymore. There may be souls that care but it’s not the same when she’s hurt every single one of them enough as it is.
She can’t do this anymore. Hayden knows she just has to end it all... before Eros can get to her or the people she’s hurt.
‘...There’s been a suicide...’ Hayden whispers in a strained, broken tone, clutching her cellphone so desperately that it almost hurts. Like she hurt Kari, the only reason being so she could hurt her before diseasing with grief. She doesn’t want Kari to mourn Hayden once she’s gone. Only resent her so she doesn’t have to mourn and she can see that what’s about to happen is for the best.
‘How did they do it?’
Hayden sucks in a sharp breath, her other hand barely maintaining a shaky grasp on a wire and a switch that would send an electrical shock so powerful throughout Hayden’s body that it’s enough to deactivate completely... and end her.
‘...Yeah.... Electric shock.’
‘Do you know who the victim is?’
‘Y-Yes...’ Hayden pauses for a moment, biting down on her lower lip to calm her nerves and she tries to sustain that calm exterior. ‘...It’s me.’
‘Excuse me? Ma’am, are you okay? Oh my god... please stay on the line.’
The desperate begging of the law echoes in Hayden’s ears but only seems to add more fuel to the fire and increase her motivation and reasoning to do this. She just wants the law to pass on a message for her. That’s the only reason she called them. She just doesn’t wanna be the one giving her last words face to face.
‘Ma’am, are you there? I’m begging you... tell me where you are. We can have officers—‘
‘No. It doesn’t matter who you send. I’ll still be gone. They’ll just be a body of metal to burn and bury. All I want... is for you to give someone a message for me.’
As Hayden speaks those dreaded words in such a damaged tone that it’s almost like listening to death or starvation, her mind flickers suddenly with the haunting memories of the aftermath of her breakup with Kari. Hayden had the idea to at least apologise to Kari for the way she handled things. The only thing she saw was even more hurt. Kari... kissing Damien. Barely even an hour after they went their separate ways. Maybe it’s some sort of rebound or an attempt of causing jealousy.
Either way, it fucking hurts and that was Hayden’s breaking point. That’s when she realised that no one really cares for her. She really is just someone’s perfect match. A robot. Just metal and bolts.
The lady on the other side of the phone falls silent for a moment, contemplating and processing a desperate Hayden’s request. ‘...What’s the message?’
‘Can you please tell Kari Park what I’m about to say? She’s currently resigning in a hotel in Paris and I’m sure you’ll find her if you...” As Hayden explains Kari’s whereabouts, tears spill from her eyes like an endless river and she’s never felt more guilty than she does right now. ‘You got it?’
“Yes... what is the message?’
“Just please tell Kari that I love her... and that I’m sorry for everything I did. Tell her I’m sorry I fucked everything up and that I have been since I was built. Us meeting was a huge mistake and it shouldn’t have happened. She deserves to be happy, even if it is with Damien. I’m happy for her and I don’t want her grieving me because deep down... she knows I’m just a pile of metal and bolts.’
An unbearable takes place and Kari’s finger looms over the switch, preparing to set it off because she knows this is it. That moment where she ends it all and she finds out that no one really cares at all. All that physical, mental and emotional damage she’s caused to all she’s met. Hayden has put everyone in danger and now she can’t take it back.
Maybe this moment was her real purpose and she’s finally about to fulfil it.
‘Tell her I said goodbye...’
‘Wait! Ma’am, can’t we just talk about this—
‘My name is Hayden Young. Or Project 15673...’
‘Just hold on for a moment and we can fix this. You don’t have to do this!’
The desperate cries of the lady on the other side of the phone increases, her stained tone echoing in Hayden’s mind a thousand times and more. But she blurs it all out, focusing on the feeling of relief that will burst through her when she finally completes her destiny.
‘I was created by a matchmaking service and I couldn’t believe what was happening when I found out what I truly was—‘
‘Please! Stop saying goodbye! We can have officers down there to help you any moment!”
‘—and I realised nothing I did was enough. Kari never seemed satisfied with what I gave her so here we are... and I hope she’s happy with another. I really do...’
‘Please... don’t...’
‘...I’m Hayden Young. One who believes that having no literal heart doesn’t define whether you have emotions... and this is goodbye.’
With that, Hayden hung up the phone and clutched the switch like her life depended on it, immediately feeling a wave of agonising electricity igniting in her body and shooting painful strikes up and down her arms and legs. Her head falls back and she inhales for the last time, dropping the wires and starting to feel herself shorting out like a circuit would. It’s like she’s a battery dying down. The pain rocks her unbearably and she struggles to take it, aware that it should all be over in a few seconds. Until all her wires break down.
What seems like forever goes by, nothing but sharp pains and agonising strikes illuminating every inch of her inanimate body. While all of this is going on, all Hayden can think about is Kari and the desperate pleads she’d be crying out if she had to watch this... which would have been an even more unbearable situation all together.
Suddenly, the pain stops and Hayden’s sapphire eyes go wide into ovals and... they never seem to close again.
—
‘Her purpose was not to destroy but to be destroyed.’ - Anonymous
Summary: What if the group discover that Hayden was part of a scientific experiment, and he’s human and he is struggling to process all that? - The following scene happens when the group breaks into Eros facilities and Hayden is shot.
Author’s note: I had this idea when the book was still releasing new chapters, I was hoping for something like that instead of following with the robot thing, but I only could write now. Be aware English is not my mother language. The characters belong to PB. I used a few lines from chapter 10/11.
Word count: 3296
Warnings: A little angst, a little fluffy.
P.S 1= Thank you @boowoomuu for helping me with the review!
P.S 2= This is a tribute to my dear friend @a-teardrop-blog ♥
_____________
Gessica and Nadia busted thought the doors of the rear exit, and out into the alley behind the building. Hayden ran to meet her, wrapping his arms protectively around her.
“I was worried about you, what’s going on? Where’s Sloane? She picked me up and told me to wait out here for her.”
“She ran off! No time to explain! We have to go!” Nadia shouted.
Then they looked over to Damien, he was holding the door closed as the two guards banged against it from the other side.
“Don’t know how long I can hold them! Running would be good!” He yelled.
With one final heave, the door swang open, throwing Damien back! The guards rushed out, tasers down! “Take ’em all!”
The guard took aim at Gessica and Hayden dived in front of her. “Gessica! NO!”
When the taser hit him, he fell on the ground unconscious with an expression of pain in his face.
Gessica ran to help him with tears in her eyes. “Hayden! What have you done?” Where the taser hit him, cloth and skin have burned.
Suddenly, a screech of tires sounds from the entrance of the alley, as a van came barreling toward the group. The guards jumped out of the way as the van skidded to a halt between the attackers and the group of friends. On the driver’s seat was Sloane. Nadia opened the van doors as Gessica and Damien hauled Hayden inside. One guard shouted out into his radio as the van speedeed away.
Sloane drove at top speed, but an Eros security vehicle kept pace a few hundred yards behind.
While Sloane tried to dodge the persecutors from Eros, Hayden cried out in pain in the back of the van.
“I’m freaking out back here, Hayden got shot!”
Sloane tried to calm Gessica down. “He’ll be okay! I’ll look into him, and I’ll help him, once we’re off the road!”
“Why they don’t loose us?” Damien asked angrily.
“Damn it! The van signal!”
“You didn’t think about getting a car they couldn’t follow?”
“I disabled Hayden’s tracking chip and the GPS on my phone, but I-”
Approaching the car, the guard moved and reached inside the van to grab one in the group. Gessica slammed the door on the guard’s arm and he jerked back in pain, and as she shouted and locked the door, she saw him fall back into Eros’s SUV, clutching his arm. “Is everyone okay?”
“NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS OKAY!” Nadia yelled.
Sloane ducked her head under the dashboard and the van slowly drifted into the next lane. She pulled a mess of wires free from beneath the console, rolled down her window and chucked it out onto the highway. “Take that!”
“What did you just do?” Nadia asked.
“I just fried Ero’s control module. Consider us officially off the grid. I know a safe place, we’re heading there.”
After a brief discussion about trust with Damien, Sloane drove like crazy off of the city until she slowed down the van to a normal pace and took a deep breath. “I’m sure you have questions…”
“First thing first, chip? What do you mean?” Gessica asked staring at Sloane from the mirror.
“I’ll explain better later, but there’s a chip in his brain, Eros use them as a part of a neural experimental project, and to track them.”
“Who’s them?” Nadia asked this time.
“The matches. Like Steve and Hayden.”
“Care to elaborate?” Damien asked in an interrogation tone.
“I’ll explain all the details later!”
“Wait a minute, if he has a chip on his brain, were you guys from Eros controlling him all this time? So, our relationship was a lie?”
Sloane’s eyes popped on her face. “No! I mean, it’s true that Hayden isn’t what or who you thought he was. But the relationship wasn’t fake. He didn’t lie to you.”
“I’m not following…”
“Oh God, he doesn’t know. Hayden has no idea about the chip and who he truly is!” Nadia said in shock.
“She’s right. Hayden’s chip is programmed to block his old memories, from his previous life. As far as he knows, he went to Eros and took the quiz, just like you did.” Sloane confessed. “Hayden believes you’re his perfect match, too. He had no idea any of this was happening.” She said looking into Gessica’s eyes.
Damien angrily interrupted. “It seems to be a lot of that going around.”
Gessica looked at Hayden still unconscious in her arms and ran a hand through his hair, wondering what Hayden had been through before she knew him, if Eros had hurt him.
“Look, I’ll answer any questions you have, but right now we have to take care of this burn on his skin.” Sloane said and drove until she parks the car on the side of the street but before they got out of the car, Gessica saw a familiar face in front of the supposed Sloane’s safe house.
“Get us out of here!” Nadia shouted.
Slowly Sloane drove the car back the way she came, everyone holding their breath. A while later Damien spoke. “Eros has information on all of us, if there was any connection between you and that place, of course, they would have guessed you were going to hide there, or all of our homes too!”
Sloane’s face fell down.
“Let’s head to my office for now. I keep it under a different name specifically for this reason. And in the meantime, Sloane can explain more about all of this.”
Everyone on the van agreed.
Within minutes they got to Damien’s office and Nadia ran to the bathroom while Sloane and Damien helped Gessica put Hayden comfortably on a sofa.
“Let me take care of this wound. Damien, do you have any first aid kit here?” Sloane asked.
Damien grabbed the kit and handed it to her. She started to clean the burn with saline, put burn ointment and placed gauze and dressing on the wound on Hayden’s rib, while Gessica ran her hands through Hayden’s hair.
“Is he going to be ok?”
“I hope so.” Sloane answered, putting a bandage on Hayden’s wound.
“So, I think it’s time Sloane.” Damien interrupted the silence in the room.
Sloane took a deep breath, but before she could talk, Hayden woke up and hissed in pain. He put a hand on his head and stifled a scream.
Gessica put a hand on his shoulder and kneeled beside him. “I’m here, we’re all here.”
He looked into her eyes, squeezed her hand and tried to smile, but it could be seen in his eyes. He was still in pain. He looked around and asked. “Where are we? How did we get here?”
Gessica tried to explain to him all that happened and continued. “We’re in Damien’s office.”
“Is everyone okay? Did we make it out?”
“We’re fine. Everyone’s fine. You were the one we were worried about.”
“You took a bad hit by one of Eros’s tasers, and it knocked you out. Do you remember that?” Sloane added.
“I remember getting shot… and then it’s just a blur.” He looked at his body, where he got burned, but now it was a bandage on it.
“Sloane took care of your wound, but she owes us some explanations.”
Sloane’s face fell. “It’s only fair. Ok, Hayden, the headache you’re feeling now it’s because the chip on your brain was fried.”
“What? What chip? What are you talking about?”
“Jeez… Where do I start? You… you are part of a neural experiment…”
“What?” Hayden asked in shock.
“Please, before anything I’m so sorry for everything that happened to you. I was chosen to keep track of your development after the chip being implanted into your brain. But I haven’t been at Eros long enough to know what goes on in the upper ranks.”
“I don’t understand…”
“You were in a coma for almost four years and the doctors said you probably would not wake up anymore, Eros was watching you closely to see if anyone would ever try to find you, to contact you since no relatives were found..."
Hayden screamed in pain with his hands in his head.
“Oh my God, Damien do you have any painkillers here?” Gessica asked desperately.
Damien looked in the bathroom and got back with the pill. Gessica grabbed a cup of water and gave it to Hayden, who swallowed the pill.
After a few deep breaths, his face with sadness looked pleadingly. “Why… why was I in a coma?”
“I don’t know the details, but for your hospital record, you were admitted after a car accident, you stayed in a coma and your wife died.” She answered, her voice full of guilt.
“Wife?” Hayden and Gessica asked at the same time.
“As I said, she died. Eros didn’t find any relatives on either side. That’s the main reason Eros chose you to be a part of the experiment. They always choose someone who is alone in the world, who doesn’t have anyone to go after you.”
“I don’t understand, but why? Why me? Without my consent…”
“I’m sorry Hayden, I just know the project seeks to erase the memory from your previous life, before the chip, before Eros, they say the human brain is a mystery, and they want to give a new chance in life for some people.”
“Wait a minute; my name… isn’t Hayden, right?” Sloane opened her mouth, but before she could answer, he interrupted her. “You know what? No, I don’t want to know. Not yet.”
He held Gessica’s hand and looked into her eyes. “I’m sorry to put you in all this.”
She squeezed his hand back. “It’s not your fault Hayden, none of this is. We are both victims of Eros here.”
Damien, who was listening in the room’s corner, interrupted. “Why a dating service?”
“Eros needed to test whether if the chip had blocked their old memories, feelings for someone else. So they thought a dating service is the simplest way to meet strangers and arrange to spend several hours with them.”
“These bastards!” Damien said angrily.
“So… Hayden had some memory issues lately…” Gessica said.
Hayden interrupted her. “Like the day I brought you the same drink twice…”
Gessica completed. “Or the day at the opera when you told me, you were feeling like you are someone else.”
Hayden’s face was crestfallen. “In a way… this makes sense. I kept feeling like there was something… wrong somehow.”
Sloane's eyes popped. “Why didn’t you tell me? These glitches mean something’s gone wrong, it could be permanent neural damage now.”
“How… how could this happen to me?” Hayden asked, defeated.
Sloane didn’t know what to answer. She put a hand on Hayden’s shoulder. “Hayden, I think I should leave you and Gessica to talk alone, but just so you know, I’m not just your guardian, I’m your friend. You grew on me, no matter what I’m here for you.”
Hayden smiled, but a smile that couldn’t reach his eyes. “Thank you, Sloane.”
She left the room, and Gessica asked, gesturing to the couch. “Can I?”
He nodded and sat with his elbows on his knees, his hands on his head. He was totally confused about the whole situation.
Gessica broke the silence. “Look, I can leave you alone if you want.”
He quickly stopped her. “No, please. Stay with me. I don’t wanna impose or anything, but I don’t wanna be alone now.”
She smiled. “Then, I’ll stay.”
He turned on the couch, staying face to face with Gessica. He cupped her face with a hand. “I’m sorry for not being who you think. However, in the middle of this whole mess, the only thing I can promise it’s my feelings for you are real.”
Gessica cupped his face too and stared into his eyes. “Hayden, you don’t have to promise anything right now, I can’t imagine what you’re going through. You owe me nothing.”
He smiled. “I know, but it is what I feel. And it means a lot that you’re still here with me, that you still see me as… me.”
-x-
A few weeks later, after traveling to hide in another city, Gessica was sitting on a couch in Nadia’s room. They were reviewing all the information they could find in this short time.
“Well, we couldn’t find Steve, yet. But now, we know who he was in the past.”
Nadia was almost going crazy. His social media was deleted, and she didn’t know where else to look for any information that could lead to his whereabouts. Gessica was looking at Nadia worried, she had never seen her cousin so broken like that.
“Nadia? Is everything okay? You’ve been looking at this screen for a long time… Did you find something new?”
Nadia sighed and looked at Gessica with sadness in her eyes. “No. Nothing, yet. You know… Sometimes I woke up in the middle of the night wondering how he is, if he remembers anything at all about us.”
Gessica stood up from the couch and sat beside Nadia rubbing her arms. “We will find him! I promise you, Nadia! Eros can’t hide Steve forever, and if Hayden could be set free from their mind control, so can Steve.”
“Hey girls!” Hayden knocked on the room’s door.
Gessica whispered at Nadia’s ear. “I’ll go talk to him outside, ok? In the meantime, go eat something! That’s an order!”
“Fine, mommy!” Nadia answered annoyed.
Gessica opened the door. “Hey, Hayden!”
He smiled shyly. “Can… Can we talk?”
“Sure.” She led him to the kitchen. “Do you want anything to eat?”
“Actually… I was thinking about going for a walk… Breath fresh air…”
“Say no more.” She smiled, and they got out of the house.
There was a backyard outside with some trees where they walked for a while in silence. However, Gessica could see that Hayden didn’t invite her to just walk in the night, but at the same time, she wanted to give him the opportunity to do things in his way. And it didn’t take long for him to slow his pace.
“Do you want to sit?”
She nodded, and they sat on a bench.
“So…” Hayden broke the silence. “I don’t know how to begin…”
“Take your time Hayden, it’s written all over your face that you want to say something. Whatever it is, I just want to make sure you’re ok.”
He smiled, sincerely, for the first time in a while. “Gê…” He took one of her hands in his own and held it, looking into her eyes. “I want to thank you, you’ve been through with me these last few weeks. I don’t know how you managed to take care of me and give me space at the same time.” He looked down at their hands and squeezed it. “I’ve had a hard time to process the whole thing, the chip, my identity, all that Sloane could find about my past, my lost family-”
Gessica caressed his hand, trying not to demonstrate how sad she was for him. “Hey, I can’t imagine what you are going through, what you’re feeling, but all I wanted this whole time is for you to know that I’m here for you. That’s… what friends are for…” She said the last phrase with a different kind of sadness.
“I’m sorry for always bothering you. And thank you for always listening to me. You’re the only one I feel I can talk, even if sometimes I shouldn’t.”
“Why are you saying this?”
“Every time I try to talk about it with Sloane, she looks at me with so much… guilt. And I hate making her feel that way.”
They were still holding each other’s hands. “About my identity… I’ve been thinking…”
“Do you know what your name before Eros was?”
“Not yet… I’ve been having a few flashes of memory since the day the chip was burned, but nothing concrete yet. Sloane found in my medical history, but I didn’t want to know, yet. What do you think?”
“Well… I think Hayden suits you but in the end, this is something for you to decide, but just so you know whatever your decision on how to be called is, I’ll approve.”
He smiled. “Yes… and you know what? I define who I am, or who Hayden is, not Eros.”
Gessica smiled too. “Exactly.”
After a few seconds just looking at each other, when was getting awkward, Hayden opened his mouth but say nothing.
“What?” She asked with no clue of what he was thinking.
“There’s something else I want to talk to you about.”
“Go ahead, I’m all ears.”
He let go of her hands, rubbed the back of his neck and blushed hard. “Well… you gave me space and time when I most needed it and I really appreciate it. I know there are still a lot of things to solve, a battle against Eros ahead. And I know that I asked for this time… but I really liked our time together… So, I’ll understand if you feel like we’re no longer right for each other. It is a lot to process… and I understand if it’s too much for you…” He smiles nervously. “But I’d really like to give us a chance again.”
“Hayden-”
He interrupted her. “But I’ll completely understand if you want to remain as only friends, all I wish is your happiness even it means simply being your friend.”
She smiled brightly. “Hayden…” She cupped his face. “I want to be with you… and only you.”
There was a spark in his eyes, but still incredulous. “Really?”
“No matter what! Hayden, I miss you so much! We’ve been together in this house, but we were apart, and this was killing me. But I didn’t want to pressure you.”
“Pinch me! I want to feel this is real, that I’m not dreaming.”
She laughed. “Silly! You’re not dreaming I can prove it to you and not with a pinch.”
His lips curved in understanding.
She put a hand on his neck and kissed him, slowly, sweetly. When they got apart, she rested her forehead against his, smiling. “Hayden, I don’t care how we met; you could be an alien or even a robot… I’m crazy about you.”
Hearing this, he stood up from the bench and lifted her, wrapped his arms around her body spinning her around and yelled. “I’m the luckiest man on earth!”
They laughed happily.
She was getting dizzy. “Come on, you can put me down already, and don’t yell! We’re still hiding!”
Putting her down on the ground, he cupped her face in his hands, smiling. “I’m sorry if I just blew our cover, but I couldn’t help.”
“It’s ok. It’s us against the world now, together.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed Hayden again. “Are we all good now?”
“Very.” He kissed her this time. The kiss full of devotion at first, but soon the lust increased. “I know it’s still early, but I’m in the room beside yours, and my door is always open for you. If you want to visit me before going to bed…”
She smiled mischievously. “Depend on what we’re gonna do… are we going to watch TV until we fall asleep?”
Hayden chuckled and pushed her body against his. “If that’s what you want.” He kissed the tip of her nose.
She played the game and answered with sadness in her eyes. “Is it what you want?”
He smiled. “I think you know the answer to that.”
She laughed. “We both know… Ok, I’ll be there.” She hugged him, and he hugged her back. Both of them feeling hopeful about their future together, no matter what.
