Choosing Plastic
Bag Boy: Paper or plastic?
Customer: Um, plastic's fine please.
Bag Boy: You don't seem very satisfied with your choice.
Customer: Pardon?
Bag Boy: I said, you seem less than enthusiastic about choosing plastic.
Customer: Oh, er, sorry. I'm in a hurry.
Bag Boy: Hurry to do what?
Customer: Um, that's private.
Bag Boy: Yes, of course, sorry... It's just that I have a cough today.
Customer: A cough?
Bag Boy: Yes, a cough and a bit of a headache.
Customer: I'm sorry to hear that.
Bag Boy: Oh really?
Customer: ... Yes. Yes I am.
Bag Boy: Huh...
Customer: I'm sorry, but could you just please bag my groceries? I really am in a hurry.
Bag Boy: Well I really do have a cough, and you don't really seem that sorry to hear of it.
Customer: But I am sorry!
Bag Boy: No you aren't.
Customer: Yes I am.
Bag Boy: If you were really sorry, then you wouldn't have chosen plastic.
Customer: What's that got to do with anything?
Bag Boy: EVERYTHING!
Customer: This is ridiculous.
Bag Boy: I'm allergic to plastic! It makes me cough and gives me a headache, but you don't care! You just went on and chose it like the great inconsiderate oaf that you are! People like you make me sick. Literally!
Customer: Hey, take it easy pal. I had no idea you were allergic to plastic. If it means that much to you, I'll choose paper instead.
Bag Boy: ...Really? You'd do that for me?
Customer: Sure. Whatever will get me out of here the fastest.
Bag Boy: So then you don't really care about my personal health; you just want to get out of here?
Customer: Well, when you put it that way it makes me sound rather cold...
Bag Boy: That's because you are cold. You are a cold, heartless jerk and I hope you never get your groceries bagged!
Customer: ...So you're not going to bag them then?
Bag Boy: Why on earth would I bag them?
Customer: YOU'RE THE BAG BOY!
Bag Boy: No I'm not.
Customer: You're not?
Bag Boy: Nope. I just play one on TV.
Customer: So why are you here?
Bag Boy: I'm researching for my role by watching the real bag boy do his work.
Customer: Then where's the real bag boy?
Bag Boy: Oh, him? He's on break.
Customer: Can I speak to your manager please?
Bag Boy: But I don't work here.
Customer: OH COME ON!!!
-Joe











