What if love was never really about love? What if it was about the spaces between us, the aching need to be understood, the silent prayers whispered in the dark hoping someone hears them? Maybe love isn’t the grand gestures or the words we say but the unspoken understanding, the quiet staying when everything else tells you to leave. Maybe it’s not about hearts racing but about hands that don’t let go, not about falling but about finding—finding a home in someone’s presence, a refuge in their arms. What if love was never about perfection or eternity but about the simple, fragile truth that for a moment, in this vast and indifferent world, someone chooses you?
Word Count: 4k+. This one took me a few hours but I really had fun writing it. I hope you all enjoy! :)
People always said that being too invested in your work wasn’t the best. You needed to have balance. Of course you barely paid mind to that. The best scientist never got anywhere lazing around. Besides, you had a life outside of research. You have a steady stream of cop shows to keep you company.
One of which is the very popular Flash TV series.
It was by far your favorite. It’s not like you didn’t have friends either. You just barely had time to meet with them due to your inventions. This one was going to be the best yet. Being a senior in college meant that this was your last chance to make your name as a scientist. If you could create this, then the sponsorships and press conferences would come blazing through the door. You grin, tighten the last screw.
“Alright!”
All you had to do was connect the plugs and you were set. It sort of made it easier being the only one in the lab at night. No distractions.
“Take that Jimmy.”
You glared at his machine on the other side of the room as you showed it the finger, plugging in your own. Yes, maybe that was a little immature, but he was so conceited. Constantly boasting that he was going to create a device that could stop aging and sell to the highest bidder. He didn’t care about human life.
Just money.
“Moron.”
Your invention was meant to stop terrible illnesses like cancer, cure the sick. You did want the recognition, but also the joy that came with watching a child make it back home to their family, healthy and happy.
Exhaling softly, you moved over to the outlet to plug in your machine. The rumbling of thunder however stopped you. When the lights went out, you cursed. You couldn’t see a thing. Dropping the cord, you moved around feeling for a door. It was weird that the backup generators hadn’t kicked in.
There was a flicker, and you smiled when the lights above your head turned on. Thankfully it hadn’t messed with anything in the lab. You moved to grip the door and maybe find the security guard, but the lights in the building started blaring and you flinched.
The constant flicker of red was not what you expected. Your eyes moved to the glass ceiling, and the sight of a current of lightning should have alerted you to run away. But a part of you knew that if it broke the glass, that would be it. The machine you spent more than six months on would probably turn into a pile of trash.
“Hey kid!! Get the hell out of there!!”
The yell of the guard brought you back for a second. He tried opening the door to come and get you, but you were already bolting in the direction of your machine. You jumped at the last second, just as the streak of lighting broke the glass. The sparks struck every surface in the room and you screamed at the surge that rushed through your body.
Your body was elevated for a second and when the lights finally shut off and turned back on, the guard could only stare at the empty room.
That was how it happened.
A poor choice on your part. But at the time it made sense. You were surprised that you were still alive. You could hear the beeping of machines and the faint smell of disinfectants. Your nose scrunched up and you turned your head, pressing your palm to your forehead.
“GUYS SHE’S AWAKE!!”
That yell really wasn’t helping.
You sat upright groaning at the pain that ran through your body. The sound of feet shuffling finally made you lift your gaze. Your eyes were still trying to adjust to the room.
“We’re relieved that you’re alright.”
“That voice..”
You knew that voice.
Why did you know that voice?
When your focus finally steadies, you were positive that maybe you did in fact die.
“My name is-”
“Harrison Wells..”
He was a bit confused.
“That’s right.”
Your eyes ran over all four of them and you swallowed, stumbling out of the bed.
“Barry Allen, Caitlin Snow, Cisco Ramon..”
They were fairly puzzled that you seem to know their names.
“The Flash..You’re the Flash. OH MY GOSH I’M IN THE FLASH!!”
You started pacing around in circles as you continued to rant and they all turned to Dr. Wells for some kind of instruction, but he looked just as stumped as everyone else.
“This is crazy. It’s not real. It can’t be real. That lightning, the light that’s what happened! I was struck by lightning and I’m in a coma. I must be in a coma. Either that or I’m dead. Am I dead!!? I didn’t even get the chance to have a boyfriend. I can't be dead!!!” You were sobbing now and Cisco nudged Barry.
“What! Why me!?” Barry protested.
“You’re the hero dude. Save her or whatever.”
Barry trailed over cautiously, reaching over and patting your arm awkwardly.
“T-There there. It’ll be okay.”
“Noooo it’s not, I’m dead. Why! WHY!!”
Your wails got progressively louder and Barry took a step back to the group.
“I tried.”
Eobard released a heavy sigh. He could already tell that this was a thorn in his plan. The fact that you just appeared in their lab in a burst of light didn’t help at all.
“I need to be calm and deal with this.”
He couldn’t afford the distraction, not right now.
He wheeled over in his chair, plastering the best look of comfort that he could.
“We understand that you’re in a tough position. But if you calm down and explain the situation, we might be able to get you back to where you came from.” You were still crying softly, and when you looked up at him, he almost felt sorry. He held out a hand for you, and you wiped your eyes, nodding slowly as you took his hand.
He almost jolted at the subtle spark he felt run through his hand. When he looks at you, there’s no noticeable change, so he schools his features as he guides you to take a seat.
“Tell us what happened.” He urged.
You finally got yourself to stop crying long enough to fully explain your situation. They sat there very attentively. It was a little hard to believe on both sides. But the alternative was truly considering that you must have died.
“So where you’re from this all a television show?” Barry asked.
“It is. I was working on my machine and then a crazy storm came out of nowhere. I tried to save my tech but I guess I got hit.”
“It was reckless of you to run towards an active storm. “
Dr. Well’s words make you blush. You slide off the chair.
“Y-Yeah you’re right. A-anyway, do you guys have ideas of how to get me back?” You avoid contact with him, and he raises a brow.
“Well your machine must have been the trigger. It might have been struck too.”
You shook your head.
“No, that's impossible. My machine was built to attack cancerous cells in the body.”
“You were trying to cure cancer?” Barry asks.
“Yeah I..I just wanted to help people.” You mutter. Barry smiles.
Now that is all gone. Your machine was probably obliterated and you were stuck wherever this was.
“Was there anything else that could have triggered your transportation here?” Caitlin asks.
You shrug.
“Not that I could think of. The room just had a few minor tech projects and that stupid narcissist Jimmy’s anti-aging machi..” You trail off and it clicks in your head.
“Shit that’s it!!”
“What’s it?” Barry question.
“Jimmy, oh my gosh. I’m a little pissed but he’s actually a genius. He’s been working on an anti-aging programmer. Basically it superchargers the body. It stops the cells that contribute to aging and deterioration.” You run to the board set up at the center of the room as you start marking down equations.
“I’ve been there for most of his upgrades so I know the general layout. I could build his machine and find my way back there!”
You were practically glowing, and Barry stepped forward.
“Whatever we can do to help, we will.” You turned to him.
“Really, you’ll help me?”
“Of course! We’re always down to help a fellow scientist. Besides, you're trying to cure cancer. You’re awesome.” Cisco states.
“I’ll do what I can to help.” Caitlin offers. You can’t stop the smile on your face.
“Thank you, thank you so much!”
You hug Barry, and he laughs patting your back. You go down the line giving them all hugs. When you get to Dr. Wells, you’re still wearing that smile. It slowly fades and you clear your throat.
“W-We should get to work immediately. "
You made a quick turn, heading back to the board.
That was the plan. Rebuild Jimmy’s machine and get back home. For the most part it was fairly easy. Barry of course had to fill Joe in on everything and then create a story to tell Iris of who you were. Everything felt sort of smooth sailing. You crashed at Star Labs working on your project day and night while helping Team Flash with their endeavors. You weren’t exactly hero certified. The more dangerous situations you stood at the sidelines with Dr. Wells, just observing.
It was still weird adjusting to a show you were literally watching on your television screen. They were all just as kind and brave as their characters portrayed. Cisco was an amazing engineer. He’d helped put together the tools to create the machine. While the first few attempts were a fail, you could tell you were getting closer. You knew it wouldn’t be easy trying to invent a machine you didn’t design yourself and you were going off your memory. Whenever you got discouraged or sulk, Barry had a way of helping you regain inspiration to keep going.
Cisco would make jokes of what you would do when you got back and Caitlin had soft affirmations to encourage you. It was nice. You realized then that you were so focused on your tech that you hadn’t given yourself any time to have fun or be with your friends back home. A part of you just always thought they would be there after you finally made it big. It was selfish and immature. Maybe this was the reason you were here. To open your eyes in a sense.
“Any progress Ms. (L/N).” You jumped at the voice at your door. Dr. Wells wheeled in and you swallowed the lump in your throat.
“S-Slow progress.”
You keep your eyes on the board, trying not to give too much of a reaction.
Another issue as of late was avoiding Dr. Wells. See he’d always been your favorite character. A crush if you will. While you really admired the actor, you never truly thought you would meet him. So working in such close quarters wasn’t the best. Your solution was to avoid any and all interactions. There was no point in getting attached when the goal was to ultimately leave. You also couldn’t alter anything too drastically.
“I think we have something that needs to be discussed. “
The click of the lock on your door is what gains your attention. When you turn back, Dr. Wells is no longer seated in his wheelchair, but standing at the entrance. You drop the marker in shock.
“You’re..”
You blink and he has you pressed to the wall. The papers in your room have scattered and you hold your breath. Back against the wall caged between his arms, you can only stare.
“You’ve known who I am this whole time, haven’t you?”
“W-Who you are..”
You’re completely in the dark and it’s starting to scare you. This isn’t the man that was so compassionate on the first day you got here. Not even close.
“Are you still going to play games?”
He tilts his head, raising his hand, and when you see the vibrations, your heart almost stops. Those usually warm eyes light up a treacherous scarlet. You’re beginning to see the bigger picture.
“Y-You’re the evil speedster..the one who killed Barry’s parents..”
“Eobard Thawne, in the flesh.” He smirked.
You feel like an idiot. You literally could have avoided this if you’d just watched the last few episodes. The realization that you might actually die here becomes very real. You sob, and he lowers his hand. You clench your eyes, waiting for the inevitable, but nothing happens. A minute, maybe two passes and you finally open your eyes. He’s no longer vibrating, but he hasn’t moved away.
“So you really didn’t know. That’s a surprise.” He walks back, and you’re still pressed into the wall.
You’re afraid to move.
“Since we’re both in a bind I’d suggest we come to an agreement. You can’t breathe a word of this to Barry or the others, not until I get what I want.”
“W-What makes you think I won’t tell them!! I could give a crap about getting home now. I’m not just going to let you hurt them!”
“How awfully brave of you.” His tone is mocking, and he moves around the room. You know it’s more to intimidate you.
“I’m sure you’ve realized by now that anything you do here could ultimately steer the plot off course. I initially assumed that’s why you’ve been so curt with me. If you even make a ripple, everything here, everyone you know, that you’ve grown to care about could die and it would be all your fault.”
You swallow. He’s right. You know he is. If he’s truly from the future then he has a lot more knowledge.
“So what do you say, partner?”
“We’re not partners!” You hiss.
This is painful. You press your hand to the desk to steady yourself. It’s all so messy now. He’s still standing there looking proud of himself and you stare right at him.
“I hate you.”
There’s so much spite and malice in those words, and Eobard’s smile slowly falls from his lips. He isn’t sure why he feels anything. Those words shouldn’t even phase him. But the look you wear right now is much different from the one you’ve been sending him all those weeks that you’ve been around. He turns his back, unlocking the door and setting himself right back into his chair.
“Have a pleasant night Ms. (L/N).”
That’s what he said. You should have expected life to deal you such a hand. Every time you got comfortable, there just seemed to be a bigger obstacle.
You kept up the secret, even though it hurt to lie to your friends every single day. The thought of them being wiped from existence was much more painful. A part of you just hoped that the heroes would prevail. This was a tv series after all. That small glimmer of hope is what gives you the will to keep going. It was hard to explain, but somehow you knew Barry and the others would come out on top.
One particular afternoon you were having a movie night at Cisco’s place with Barry, and Caitlin.
“Hey, you never really told us who your favorite character was.” Cisco called, tossing popcorn at you.
You leaned into the couch thoughtfully.
“I guess Barry is.” You spoke.
“Really?” He said, clearly flattered.
You nod, playing with your bowl of snacks.
“I guess in a way I related more to you. I’m an orphan too.”
They’re all listening now.
“I’m sorry. We weren’t trying to pry.” Barry apologizes. You shake your head.
“It’s okay. It’s not that bad. It was just a little hard growing up. Everything I have I had to work for. In a way watching your character felt like watching myself. You had a hard start, but you still made something of yourself and that's admirable. I wanted to be just like you. “ Barry smiles. Pulling you into a half hug and you grin.
“Okay, okay we get it.” You laugh at Cisco.
“You’re one of the characters I had a crush on though Cisco.”
“What, girl for real?”
You nod.
“Yep. It’s the long hair. Definitely a weakness.” He begins playing with his hair and Caitlin giggles.
“Please don’t give him a big head.”
“I’ll try not to.”
Cisco grins.
“I kind of wish you had a friend that we could pair Dr. Wells with. Maybe then we could get him to stop being so private and quiet. I bet you if he had a girlfriend he’d come back out of his shell.”
Caitlin smacked his shoulder and Cisco just continued to laugh.
It was just a jab, you knew that. But deep down you wondered if he had someone to be his moral compass, then maybe he would give up this whole master plan.
With that thought, you returned the following morning with a new goal. If you could maybe figure him out, maybe you could flip him for the good. The moments you weren’t running through equations, you would steal glances at him. You try to observe his likes, dislikes. Ticks. Anything that could give you just a hint of his personality. This outer part is just a persona, you know that. But despite that, you know there must be times where his true self slips out.
“Is there something that I can help you with Ms. (L/N).”
His tone is polite for obvious reasons. Caitlin and Cisco turn. It dawns on you that maybe you weren’t being subtle.
“N-No Dr. Wells!” You speed down to your room and Cisco shrugs.
“Wonder what’s up with her?” He says absentmindedly.
Eobard intends to find out just that. He hasn’t been blind to the subtle glances. If you’re planning something, he intends to use any means to discourage you from acting impulsive. When he gets to the door, he doesn’t even knock. He pushes the door open and you flinch. Once inside, the door slams shut. He stands, stretching.
“Planning something I should know about?”
He doesn’t fail to intimidate. When he shows you his true colors, it’s like the air shifted. You stay planted firmly. This time you’re not going to back down like a coward. Maybe if you make your intentions known, you can throw him off his game. You can change his perspective.
“I-I’m going to make you fall in love with me.”
He just stares for a second, because he’s not sure if you’re joking or being serious. His baffled look changes slowly to amusement. Pretty soon he’s laughing and you know why. Eobard speeds right over to you. He doesn’t miss the subtle jump you make, even though you try to hide it when you’re both eye to eye.
“Do you really think such a foolish plan will work? I can see it whenever you look at me, you’re terrified. Even now, you’re quaking in your boots like a frightened little girl.” You swallow, puffing your chest.
“How exactly do you intend to make me fall in love with you?”
It’s a ridiculous statement, but he loves this, pulling your strings.
You don’t say a word, not at first and that smirk on his lips grow wider. When you take a step forward and grab his cheeks, he plans to question it, but you press your lips to his and any thought he’d formulated has disappeared.
You’ve indeed caught him off guard. Your eyes are closed and your heart is hammering to an unknown rhythm. After a few hot seconds, you pull back, licking your lips. You can still taste him.
“Wow..”
That was an impulse move. You were just trying to prove a point, but you can’t deny that it felt good. Before the whole evil speedster ordeal you did have a healthy crush on the man. Eobard is still somewhat gaping at you.
Well that worked, you suppose. You release him, taking a step back.
“You’re not the only one who’s driven. I won’t lose.”
That’s all you say as you walk away from him. Even when the door closes behind him, he doesn’t truly process it. His hand hesitantly moves to his lips. That shouldn’t have phased him. Not in the slightest. But he felt it. That kiss. Your touch. He finds himself licking his lips, just to get another taste.
“Shit.”
He underestimated you.
Following that encounter, Eobard is unsure how to go about intimidating you. It was as if you’d gained the upper hand somehow. In the lab with Barry and the others, you’re unnaturally nice to him. When the both of you are alone, you’ll brush by him or casually blow off the little threats he makes about getting in the way of his plan.
During one particular battle in Star Labs, Barry has managed to subdue the chaotic meta, not before they had released a minor shockwave. It had knocked all of them off their feet before Barry grabbed the cuffs. When the criminal was safely restrained, he bolted to the pipeline. Cisco and Cailtin were still picking themselves off the floor. He hated situations where he had to pretend to be helpless. It was a little degrading. That was the price he had to pay.
By some grace, you’d landed right on top of him. His legs were sprawled on the floor and you were straddling his hips. You looked down for a second, clearly disoriented. When you gathered yourself, you tried to stand and his eyes ended up focused right on your bust that was now in full view.
“Dr. Wells are you okay?”
Your soft voice rang in his ear and he finally made eye contact. He cursed himself for the moment of weakness. Maybe it was the fact that he’d never indulged in those desires that he was now feeling a dull ache in his groin. He covered it well, nodding as he allowed you to help him back into wheelchair.
“I’m fine.” His tone was gruff, and you bent over to inspect him for injuries. Although you knew of his capabilities, he was just like Barry. That meant sustaining an injury was possible.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
Caitlin and Cisco seemed otherwise occupied with picking up falling tech and some computers. He groaned, once again being face to face with your cleavage.
Eobard gripped your wrist with a low growl.
“Stop bending over.”
It’s a hiss.
For a moment you’re confused, but then your eyes finally trail to where his eyes lay, your cheeks erupt in color. You pull back quickly, fumbling over your words.
“I-I’m going to help Barry!”
You declared. You were rushing out of the cortex before they could question it and Eobard shifted in his seat, agitated with the problem he now had to deal with.
He was positive that it couldn’t get worse than that. Your little distractions have been driving him up a wall. He’d been so sure that it was a bluff you made that day. Making him fall in love. It wasn’t logical. This wasn’t logical.
The ring at his door tore him away from his thoughts and when he opened the door, he’s a bit irritated at the big smile you wear.
“Hey.”
You sound so casually as you just barge inside. He closes the door behind.
“How long do you think this charade is going to work?” He questions
“I should be asking you the same question. I told you, I won't quit. I won’t stop trying to-”
“To what! Make me develop feelings for you. Do you realize how ridiculous that is? I’m a monster. I could gut you right here and I wouldn’t feel a thing.” He rises from his chair.
“Then why don’t you?” You tilt your head and his brows furrow.
“You seem to think that the only reason I’m doing this is to save Barry and the others. You’re right, a huge part of this is to protect them. I care about them. I won’t just sit here and watch you hurt them.” You walk closer, and he studies you.
“But the other part of me knows that you’re not as heartless as you claimed to be. “ You circle him.
“When you thought that I was on to you, you could have ended it all right there. But you let me live. It didn’t make sense. You know I’m from a different universe, so any harm to me wouldn’t even touch this timeline. Instead of getting rid of me, you made a deal.”
“I didn’t need the extra paperwork.” He says sarcastically.
You stop right in front of him.
“That’s not it. When I came here, you must have felt something. Even if it was just a spark, you felt it.”
“You're wrong.” He holds your gaze, but it isn’t the same.
“You’ve had feelings for me from the very start..” You whisper.
“No..NO!!”
He seems adamant on denying it. You move in, taking his hand and he visibly deflates. You lift his hand placing it right at the center of your chest, much like he’d done when he tried to coerce the truth out of you about his identity. His gaze doesn’t look as sure.
“Do it.”
He gulps. His hand is shaking and for once it’s not due to the vibrations.
“I can’t..”
He couldn’t believe this. How had he let this happen?
You take a step forward and when you hug him, his body is stiff. His hands fall at his side.
“I guess I did win..”
It’s not a boast, you sound just as surprised as he is right now. Your hands gently trail down his shoulders, laying right on his chest. When you leave a kiss on his neck, his eyes close, letting out a staggered breath. You keep trailing kisses along his skin. Along his neck, right on his cheek. Your fingers begin to drift down and that snaps him out of his trance. He grabs your hand, speeding out of the room. Your eyes open and you’re pinned to the bed, staring up at him.
“Stop.”
He warns.
You just grin.
“If you really wanted me to stop, why did you bring me to your bed?”
He’s about to object, but he takes in the space and you can see the shock on his face. You bite your lip, pushing him onto his back as you switch positions. Eobard just gapes.
“I’ve spent most of my life depriving myself of so much because I thought it was the only way to get what I wanted. I’m done with that. From now on I’m going to be honest about what I want. What I need. What I need right now is for you to make love to me.”
He’s not sure how to go about dealing with this situation.
You lean down, sliding your knee between his legs and he holds back a sharp hiss.
“Make love to me..” You coax.
Eobard grits his teeth, pulling you down for a desperate kiss. You smile, responding with just as much urgency.
That night ended with the both of you buried in his sheets. He can’t say for sure if it had truly happened. He vaguely remembers your soft moans of encouragement. His body connected to yours. It felt too real to be an illusion.
He woke the next morning to a note from you to meet him in the lab. It was six in the morning, he knew for a fact that no one else would be there. That’s why he’d discarded his chair and just ran over. You stood at the center with your machine on a trolley. The wind tossing your hair made you smile as you looked down. You didn’t turn to look at him, not at all. But he could hear the smile in your voice.
“I’m going back home. I already left my goodbyes for the rest of the team. If I see their faces I know I’ll lose my nerve. I left instructions for Cisco. After three days, he needs to destroy the machine to protect all of you. “ You finally turned around to face him.
“When I’m gone you have three days. Three days to decide if you want to have a better life, or if you want to be the big bad that Barry faces. I think you know as well as I do that if all that I’ve said is true, in the end, Barry will win.”
Eobard clenches his hand.
“I’m not going to force you, it’s your choice.”
It’s hard for you to deal with, but he needs to make the decision. It doesn’t stop the tears from coming. You move to him, reaching out, you hug him, because it’s possible that this is the last time you’ll ever be this close to him again. Your grip tightens, and you cry when he returns the embrace.
It hurts, more than you thought possible. You’d fallen so hard and fast for someone you should have resented.
Another lesson learned.
You pull back slowly, a bit astonished that there are actual tears in his eyes. You kiss him in hopes that the feeling will stay engraved in your mind. When you finally part, your breath is a bit staggered. You release him completely, moving away from him.
Eobard reaches out for you instinctively, and you shake your head, placing your hand on the button as you turn on the machine. A light sparks into the room, and when he sees the steady stream of lightning now emitting from your body, his eyes grow wide. You just smile.
“Come and find me.”
It’s the last words he hears before the room becomes quiet. Not a sound.
Even though Eobard no longer had memories of his time with you, the mere fact that he’s here is proof enough. He’d given up his mission, his plan built on hate and vengeance. Walking into the lab every morning after that was the best thing. You would catch glimpses of him in the neighboring labs. He was a scientist with many talents, so everyone wanted to work with him. He blended in pretty quickly.
The times you were able to see him, it was just little glances and bashful smiles that he always returned. You felt a bit ridiculous. You’d literally jumped a much more intimidating version of this man.
So why were you acting like a giddy school girl?
It has only been a week and you hadn’t truly worked up to really having an actual conversation.
“You have a crush on the new guy.”
Jimmy’s words made you choke on your juice. Eobard’s eyes caught you from a table next to your own and you turned your head as you glared at Jimmy, wiping your mouth with a napkin.
“Sorry, it’s just so obvious. You’ve been staring at him for days. He can’t seem to stop looking at you either but none of you are brave enough to make the first move. I thought I was in a rom com for a second.”
“You being the annoying friend.” Jimmy grins.
“You know it’s the truth though. Just talk to him. It’s clear that you’re both into each other.” You try to steal another glance at Eobard. He’s talking with some people on his team. You place your cheek in your palm.
“It’s not that simple..” You mumble.
“Why not?”
You wish you could explain why it was so hard. Something along the lines of he was an evil speedster and you managed to change his ideation with the power of love and a really great night of passionate, explosive sex.
You let out another heavy sigh.
“You wouldn’t get it.”
So you look back down at your lunch with a frown.
Jimmy just rolled his eyes.
“If you’re just going to sulk then I have to live up to the role I’ve been appointed.” You aren’t sure what that means until he stands with his lunch.
“Hey guys can we join your table!”
You panic, shaking your head vigorously.
“No, no!”
You continue to mouth, but he ignores you.
“Sure, come on over.” They offer.
Your shoulders drop in defeat when he begins walking over. You can’t just sit there, surely they’ll think that you hate them. So you grab your lunch and move to have a seat. Your intention is to take the empty space that isn't close to Eobard. That way you could avoid further embarrassing yourself. Jimmy beats you to it and you almost hiss at him. So reluctantly, you move to Eobard, planting yourself down as you try to remain as quiet as possible.
That doesn’t work, because he smiles at you.
“Hey, (Y/N) right?”
“Yep, that’s me.”
Oh how you want to disappear.
“I don’t think we’ve actually had a chance to talk. I heard that you saved the lab. That’s amazing. You also created the new prototype that detects and eliminates cancerous cells. You’re a genius.”
You’re a bit flattered that he’s done so much research on you and your work.
“I heard you’re a genius yourself. Most of us have specialties but you’ve been bouncing around in every field. “
“Definitely a genius.” He jokes.
The rest of the lunch is the table going back and forth. Every now and then you can feel Eobard’s eyes on you, but you don’t confront him. You just try to keep the conversations around your little group going. Lunch is over and everyone is dispersing. You mean to meet up with Jimmy to walk back, but he’s already gone. Eobard however is right next to you, throwing away the trash in his tray as he turns back to you. You’re a bit stiff, even when he sends you a little smile. You walk back in silence and Eobard finally feels the need to make a statement.
“I don’t know if I’m reading this wrong but do you dislike me?”
You stop, shaking your head.
“Of course not. Why w-would you think that?”
“Well you barely look at me and you get guarded whenever I’m around. I’m no profiler but it seems like you don’t like me.”
Your head lowers.
“I..like you..” You say softly.
He takes in the subtle tint on your cheeks, and his grin is wide.
“I like you too.”
Your heart is racing a beat too quickly. Neither of you realize that the room is empty. Not that it would make much of a difference. Since you’ve gotten this far, might as well just dive in.
“Would you like to come over some time? You seem to be new in the city, I can give you a download of all the sights. Maybe we can check them out together. “
“I’d like that.”
He’s fully turned in your direction, and you're both just standing there just gazing at each other.
“This might sound weird but there’s something about you that just..”
His gaze drifts to your lips. You’re barely keeping it together as it is. This situation isn't helping at all. Eobard takes a step.
“W-What are you..doing?” You ask.
He shakes his head.
“I don’t know.”
He leans in, pressing a kiss to your lips and your hands automatically pull him closer. His brows knit in satisfaction, hand circling your body. You wish this will last forever. He pulls back, and when his eyes meet your own, there’s a faint glow in his irises that vanish as fast as they appeared.
“(Y/N).”
His tone sounds different, if you didn’t know any better, you would have actually thought this was…
“Eobard?”
Your hesitance shows, and he licks his lip in that irresistible way. That devilish grin on his face is a sight you truly thought you would never see again. You jump into his arms, hugging him tightly.
“EOBARD!!”
He lifts you off the ground with a laugh.
“I hate to admit it, but you did win."
You laugh along with him, taking his face into your hands as you kiss him happily.
You’d woken up in the hospital with a clean bill of health. Everyone was shocked. Especially the guard who saw you take a full blast of lightning straight to the chest.
When you got to the lab, you didn’t expect the round of applause from fellow scientists. Everyone in the building was standing at the entrance clapping. You shuffled to the side to question one of the other interns that worked with you.
“W-What’s going on?”
She smiled.
“You crazy psycho, you saved the entire lab. That bolt that you ran into would have hit the circuit box in that room. Firefighters said if it had connected, the whole place would have gone up in smoke. You saved billions of dollars of research. Not to mention how many casualties you prevented other buildings close by.”
“I-I did?”
She nods, and she pushes you forward as you walk through the hall waving awkwardly and shaking hands with everyone you seem to pass by. The CEO of the company is wearing the biggest smile. “
“Thank you so much. There’s nothing I can truly do to express my gratitude. “ She shakes your hand vigorously and you just giggle, rubbing the back of your neck.
“N-No problem. A-Anytime.”
The remainder of the day you’re met with the royal treatment. It’s a little strange, but nice to be recognized. Even Jimmy had found you at some point and basically bowed at your feet from protecting his tech. All in all, it was a great day.
But as you returned that afternoon, you felt a bit hollow.
There was no sign of Eobard. It was a bit naive to think he would jump in after you, but you hoped that maybe if he felt even a glimmer of what you did, he would risk it.
So you wait.
Day one you’re hopeful.
Day two you’re desperate.
Day three, you see the truth.
Walking into the lab on the fourth day, you’re fairly sluggish. You get to work on your machine and many others. Your time at star labs has given you a lot of insight. Working day and night with such intelligent people really opened up your eyes. If you thought you got recognition for saving the lab, when you finally got your machine up and running, your resident supervisor was practically glowing with pride as broke down how it worked. It was extraordinary. With any luck, in a matter of months they could actually get it working in hospitals.
The following week, you're sitting on your couch, watching a repeat of one of your favorite episodes. It’s stupid to torture yourself like this. Looking at something you could no longer have. But it was the only thing you have left. You clenched the pillow that night, falling asleep to the sound of Eobard giving Barry a pep talk while dealing with the latest resident bad.
On your way to work the next morning, you down a cup of coffee and get started on a new project.
“What are you working on?”
You smile at Jimmy. He’s become somewhat of a colleague rather than a rival, especially after you helped him with his own creation.
“It’s a memory foam I guess. For people suffering from Dementia and Alzheimer's. I figured if I can create the cure for cancer, why stop there. There’s so many diseases and illnesses out there. We can do so much for people if we really put our mind to it. I guess my time in that coma showed me exactly what I wanted to do. I want to save people.”
“That’s..incredible (Y/N).”
You grin.
“Thank you, I aim to please.” you joke.
He laughs and you spot your supervisor at the door. You wave at him, returning your focus to your work.
The door opens behind as John walks in.
“This is where all our other paid interns work on different projects for the better of humanity. You hear that, paid interns."
Everyone in the room laughs at John’s quip. He’s caught you all a few times chatting around in the lab or playing uno. So his words aren’t completely unwarranted.
“Who’s the new fish?” Jimmy asks.
You can hear a number of chuckles, and you laugh, drawing up your rough sketch for the blueprints you’ll need to make.
“My name is Eobard, Eobard Thawne.”
Your head whips around at the name and you drop the pencil.
Your eyes are planted on the blond haired man and the second he sees you, he offers a smile. It’s so warm and filled with light, you almost break down right there. He walks right up to you with his hand extended.
“It’s nice to meet you.”
You just gape for a few seconds, when you finally gather the courage to reach out, you take his hand. A pleasant shock rushes through your finger tips and his awestruck expression mirrors your own. He must realize that he’s been holding your hand and staring for far too long. He pulls back nervously.
“S-Sorry. I didn’t get your name."
You offer the biggest smile you can, because this is nothing short of a miracle.
You have so many questions. Now in the privacy of your home, you can ask them.
“H-How?”
“I’m not sure. “ He states.
“I used the machine a few seconds after you disappeared. I just..couldn’t watch you leave me there. I’m not certain what happened next. I only remember a light and then we were in that building kissing.”
It’s incredible how it all played out. Even better that he hadn’t waited a few days. He’d run in right after you.
“You lost your memory but you came right into the lab. You even have a license and everything so you must live somewhere. “ You can’t help but smile at how it all worked out.
“I guess the universe knew where I needed to be.”
That’s really the only thing that makes sense at this point.
“I can’t believe you actually came..just for me..”
It still all feels surreal.
“Neither can I.”
You smack his shoulder, and he takes your hand. His fingers brush against your palm as if he’s checking to see if you’re really there. He looks back at you, and you swallow at the sheer emotion in his eyes. That night will forever be engraved in your mind.
“I found you (Y/N).”
You tear up at those words. There was so much uncertainty when you said that to him. Now he’s standing right in front of you and you can’t be happier. You tackle him and he falls right onto the couch. He holds on laughing, even when you both roll onto the floor.
It's crazy how much has changed.
Jimmy is quick to show you a thumbs up when he sees you the next morning walk in with Eobard.
It’s pure heaven. Having him close, seeing him here. At the end of the day, you both decided to venture to Eobard’s place. You’re not sure what you’re going to find. He lives in an apartment with a great view. You’re a little jealous when you step in.
“I guess I have good taste even without memories.”
You explore each room, and Eobard just follows, enjoying the glow that your smile emits.
“It’s so spacious, figures that you’re loaded. Man the universe is unfair sometimes.” You giggle. You’re peeking into each room and Eobard can’t stop himself from gazing at you appreciatively. He remembers how much he’s tried to resist you at the start. From the moment he touched your hands he felt it. The spark, pull. Now it makes so much sense.
“Nice shower!”
You call from the other room.
He steps inside, watching you mess with the faucets. There’s a bathtub on one side and a regular shower head on the other. You switch off the shower, about to explore some more, but he gently grasps your wrist.
“Join me.”
You look a bit confused, then it seems to all make sense. Heat rushes to your cheeks.
“I-In t-the shower!”
“Yes.”
“I-I’m s-sure you can bathe yourself.”
You tried to make an escape, but he pinned you to the wall.
“Bathing wasn’t exactly going to be the main agenda.”
You’re flustered, and he understands why. He remembers you mentioning that you never had a boyfriend. So that night must have been your very first time. It makes him swell with pride.
You fidget.
“E-Eobard I-I don’t-’
“I know.”
This time his tone is much softer. He takes a step back, interlocking his fingers with your own. He looks so eager and you can’t help but picture it. This is wild, especially for you. You pull back to remove your shirt and he just watches. Every movement. Every article of clothing that hits the ground. When you’re done, you open the small door to the shower, turning it on as the warm droplets hit your body.
Eobard follows your lead, removing his clothes, stepping in behind you as he closes the door. For a moment you just take him in. You haven’t forgotten anything about that night, but this time around, it’s him. Not a version of Harrison Wells. This is truly Eobard. You reach for him, hands laying on his broad shoulders, running down with the flow of water. Your fingers stop right over his heart, and you place your head against his chest.
“Thank you..for coming back to me.”
Eobard knows how much this means to you, and he’s completely certain that this was the right choice. He moves to kiss you, and you’re both a bit startled when he speeds you over to the wall. You stare at him.
“Y-Your speed..”
It’s clear that he’s caught off guard as well. Yet, at the moment that doesn’t seem to be something he cares about. He kisses you happily, and your arms wrap around him, reciprocating each tender loving touch. He grabs your thighs, lifting you off the ground. The rushing water makes your bodies a bit slick.
Or it’s possible that’s something else.
You’re about to find out.
When you’re done with your shenanigans, you and Eobard settle on the couch. You’re wearing a pair of his shorts and a baggy t-shirt. His clothes are a bit loose. He presses a kiss to your neck and you giggle.
“My scent all over your body is the sexist thing in the world.”
You flush, turning to kiss him fully. Eobard welcomes it.
“You’re a little possessive aren’t you?” You smile pulling away.
“It’s natural when you love someone.” He says casually.
That catches your attention, you just stare at him.
“You..love me?”
He takes in the disbelief in your eyes, and he swallows.
“I do love you. More than anything.”
You weren’t sure you could be happier but it’s clear that you were wrong. At this very moment, you’re the happiest you’ve ever been. You hug him.
This summer I walked my son down the aisle. It was a happy handoff to a woman who loves him madly. The day was magical. It was full of love and family and the excitement that comes as young love blossoms into a lifelong partnership.
While the institution of marriage has provided me with its own set of challenges, I wholeheartedly believe in LOVE.
The Times, They Are A-Changin’
When I was coming into adulthood finding a husband was often declared among the top ranked “college degrees”. These days, statistically, my sons were lucky to lock down a good woman ready and willing to marry and raise a family.
Morgan Stanley estimates that 45% of U.S. working women between 25-45 years will be single and childless by 2030. This does not bear well for single men.
In the 80’s, when I was stumbling into adulthood, marriage was a foregone conclusion. It was a rite of passage that often came before sex. Then women prioritized landing a husband even though the responsibility for child care and housekeeping weighed most heavily and often solely on the “wife”.
Let's Get Married!
Then, men made at least 25% more pay for equal work, they were assumed to be the “primary bread winner” and deemed head of household by the IRS.
Today, "No Man, Need Apply". Women not only control the purse strings but often provide the primary income. They are perfectly capable and even culturally celebrated when flying solo.
What’s Love Got To Do With It?
Walking Isaac down the aisle to hand him off to Morgan was a ritual that suddenly made sense.
Walking Isaac down the aisle
My daughter-in-laws are both strong and fearless. They are lionesses I know better than to cross. They love and protect my sons and growing families with intensity.
Isaac and Morgan have started with a kitten and a puppy. I am GiGi to my incredible grandkids.
Of our six kids the boys are now married. Of the remaining four, two have been in loving, committed “common law” relationships since high school and two continue to fish. I have been in and out of marriage and now wonder if it is not a young person's game crafted to build a family.
For me, loving my partner is a choice I make happily every day, then again and again and again.
My Family
Tanya’s Tips: Life will present countless challenges that may include raising kids and caring for aging parents. Remember to prioritize time and pleasure with your partner. When it seems impossible, find the time, even schedule it. By connecting physically you remind each other you are choosing them again and again.
My Dad’s Take on Love and Marriage
My mom and dad were married in 1966. My dad was a true optimist. He believed he would live to 120 years and die making love with my mom. If cancer did not take him he might just have pulled it off.
He did not believe in “until death do you part”. He argued he could not make plans or envision commitment for more than 5 years at a time. As a result, my mom and dad exchanged vows, rings and married again and again every 5 years.
My mom and dad on their Wedding Day (1966)
As the oldest of their 10 children, I have witnessed and celebrated 14 of my parents 15 love ceremonies. My dad was unique in his ability to live in and seize each moment. While he could not see beyond his five years he had the good sense to choose my mom each and every day.
Tanya’s Tips: If choosing to balance life with a partner, married or not, show up with love, kindness and kisses. Spend time and savor each moment and YES choose each other again and again each and every day.
Just had to give you more cause who doesn't Love Love?
Cutting the cake with sword
Celebrating Love and Marriage in the Rocky Mountains
