@slamncram wrote something inspired by this and I loved it so much I asked if I could put it here with the art and she said I COULD!!
“Plans later?”
It was hardly the most original line, but from the smile on his face, to the way Steve tipped his head back, in order to better meet Javi’s eyes, apparently it had done the trick.
“Yeah,” Steve responded easily, “drinks with some asshole named Javier Peña.”
Javi’s grin got wider.
“What makes him such an asshole?”
Steve shrugged, his head tilting to the side, blonde hair brushing Javi’s bare arm where he had it braced on the wall behind Steve’s head. The smoke curling away from the cigarette in Javi’s hand wrapped around them both, and he hoped it didn’t choose any time soon to drop ash.
“For starters, I think he’s hitting on me in the middle of the damn US embassy where anyone can just walk through the office door.”
“Huh,” Javi agreed, glancing away for a second just to flick the ash away, keeping Steve safe. “Guess he does sound like a bit of an asshole. Kind of guy who wouldn’t even risk—“
“—shut the fuck up and lay it on me already, Javi, my neck’s getting sore and the door’s wide open.”
Huffing a laugh, Javi leaned down, pressing his lips to Steve’s briefly. He wanted to linger, but Steve was right.
“We’re still on for later?”
The look on Steve’s face, half annoyed, half amused, was worth it.
“Did I not just say that?”
Javi winked and pushed off the wall, straightening up from looming over Steve’s desk chair.
Chris Evans Fic: His Girls Episode 3 (Young & in Love Part 6)
Young & in Love
Part 1: Beard & Glasses & Pushed Back Hair
Part 2: At Some Point
Part 3: The Dogs Aren’t Allowed Upstairs
Part 4: His Girls Episode 1
Part 5: His Girls Episode 2
Part 6: His Girls Episode 3
It was Saturday and it was just you, Chris and Annie in the house. Since Chris had been back, he’d changed a few things. Helen had stayed on as nanny but he’d insisted that, for the time being at least, she should keep day time working hours, rather than living in. This also meant that she wasn’t around at the weekend.
You had been living in what felt like constant hysteria bubbling just below the surface. Every time you saw Chris, it was an effort to keep a lid on it all and stop all the feeling spilling over. Bright smiles, breezy attitudes and as little eye contact as possible were keeping you going until you could lock yourself away in your study under the guise of having so much work to catch up on after being away for two months.
You could see how much you were hurting Chris - his wounded expressions were evidence enough - but you also couldn’t do anything about it. Every time you were near him and the baby, it was like trying to push two matching ends of a magnet together, the fear rising in your chest and the rushing sounds of panic filling your ears. Some inexplicable force pushed you away, stopped you from getting close, in all ways.
One look at that tiny face and everything came rushing back. Her eyes, her smell, even her tiny fingers were inextricably wrapped up with memories of pain and blood and fear. It had been easier at the beginning to force it all down, to smother it all in smiles and coos and you allowed yourself to bask in Chris’ love and pride. But then even before he’d left, you started to feel the pangs of something akin to rage. You used to be the light of his life, the sun rose and set with you and now he barely remembered to acknowledge you except in the context of you being the mother of his child. You were still a person, a woman in your own right.
Then he’d gone and you were left alone with a tiny human that relied solely on you. Suddenly, those memories of her birth began to transform into other, darker, more hideous shapes and you were terrified every waking minute that you would hurt her, not out of compulsion, but out of your own inadequacy. By the time Lisa’s visit was due, you’d had to take action. Better to leave the baby in the care of someone with experience and qualification and keep yourself and your dark thoughts well away.
You couldn’t let him see the extent of the mess you were, of the horrible, spiralling thoughts that would creep up on you when you were alone with the baby. Chris had always wanted to be a father and have a family. You couldn’t let him see just how much you were failing as a mother.
So here you were, locked behind the study door, staring blankly at a computer screen and hiding from your own boyfriend and daughter. There was nothing in here to quell the visions, nothing to distract you from the sickening thoughts, but they were better with you than spilling over to Chris and the baby. As long as you could make it through the weekend and get to Monday when Helen would be back, the danger of you being alone with the baby would have passed and you could get yourself back on an even keel. Until next weekend, of course.
But, just then, there was a soft knock at the door and you quickly pulled up a document to make it look like you were working on something. Chris’ head emerged tentatively from behind the door.
‘Hey sweetheart, I need to take a trip to the store, we’re out of some essentials. Annie’s down for her nap, she’s been fed and changed so should be okay for a little while at least. Here’s the baby monitor so you’ll know if she wakes up.’
He set the monitor gently on the desk in front of you and began to retreat from the room as you tried to form some words that didn’t sound desperate and panicked.
‘Chris… why don’t I go? Just give me a list of what we need.’
‘It’s okay babe, I know you’re really busy, that’s why I waited for Annie to fall asleep. As little disruption to you as possible. I’ll be back before you know it.’
With that he closed the door behind him before you could say anything else and as you distantly heard the front door open and close, the weight of the burden now placed on your shoulders threatened to drown you. The rushing rose in your ears as you stared unflinchingly at the green light blinking on the monitor, taunting you as you prayed no sound would crackle over it while Chris was gone.
***
Chris was focused and methodically as he tried to get around the store as quickly and efficiently as possible. He wasn’t sure if he’d done the right thing in leaving you alone with Annie, but time was on his side and he knew there was a high chance she wouldn’t wake up from her nap until after he was home.
Still, he was on edge knowing that you’d tried to get out of it, even with the knowledge that she was fast asleep. He knew that between Helen and his mom, you hadn’t been on your own with Annie for a good chunk of time and maybe, maybe it was just what you needed to help you realise that it wasn’t scary enough to warrant running away from.
He could live in hope anyway.
***
He could hear the loud, distressed cries before letting himself back in the front door, bags in hand. He fumbled with the key in his haste, dumped the bags in the hall and ran up the stairs two at a time, the adrenaline battling with panic in his chest as he strode to the nursery.
He paused at the door for a millisecond to gather the information he needed. It didn’t take long.
Both his girls were bawling. You sat on the floor in the middle of the room, with sobs racking your body, holding Annie in your arms, who was red faced from her screams. Chris rushed to your side and crouched down next to you.
‘Sweetheart… what’s wrong? What happened?’ He stoked the hair away from your face as you tried to move the baby in to his arms.
‘Chris, you need to take her,’ you insisted, your voice hitching between words, 'I’m sorry, I can’t… can’t do this.’
'Babe, what do you mean? She’s just crying, you’re doing fine. You’ve not done anything wrong,’ he continued the soothing motions against your hair and brought his other hand to the baby’s head.
'I can’t - I don’t know what she needs. I’m no good at this. She hates me.’
'Of course she doesn’t hate you. Both of you are all stressed out and probably making each other feel worse.’
'Chris, will you just take her, please?’ Again, you tried to hand her over so you could make it run for it. It had been a mistake to come in here when you’d heard her muffled, sleepy groans over the monitor. You weren’t sure if the noises meant she was awake or not and you were frustrated that you couldn’t tell.
'You’ve got this, you can do this. I’m right here next to you, sweetheart. Just breathe. Try sitting her up just a little,’ Chris’ voice was gentle and the hand that had been stroking your hair moved to your back, running circular motions between your shoulder blades.
You shifted an arm to prop her up at more of an angle and Chris softly rubbed his little finger over her bottom lip. She started making little kissy faces against his skin but her cries subsided slightly.
Once the noise had stopped, you felt like a fog had cleared from your brain. The hitches in your breathing were slower as your sobs eased off.
'There,’ Chris said, still in that gentle voice, 'She’s hungry.’
You think you nodded in agreement. You gazed down at her face, focusing on the movements of Chris’ hand at your back. It was less difficult to stop the thoughts and memories if you could just focus on his hand.
You were all silent for a moment, Annie’s cries temporarily placated by Chris’ finger.
'Chris…?’
'Yes, babe?’ He whispered, trying to keep the delicate peace.
'I… I think I need - help.’
You felt him nod, rather than saw him, 'We’ll do it together.’
That one little sentence was enough to bring about a touch of relief in your body. Together.
'First though, I think we need an afternoon for us, get some things out in the open and some time to relax in each other’s company. What do you think?’
You looked up at him then, face only two inches from yours, 'Just us? But what about… Helen’s not…’
He pulled his phone out from his back pocket and swiped at the screen before pressing the phone to his ear, 'Scott, we could use your help. Don’t suppose you’re up for some uncle duties this afternoon?’
