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A Family We Chose For Ourselves FINAL CHAPTER

Chapter 9: Eva (9955 words)

Her and Chris, huh?

For the first time, she thinks that the description sounds just about right.

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Gifset: Part 1 | Part 2

Søndag 25.12.16

“So, me and you, huh?”

Eva laughs a little at the statement and the sound is like tiny jingle bells that make his heart soar inside his chest.

Or that could have been actual jingle bells coming from somewhere outside, probably one of the neighbours getting into the Christmas party spirit a little too late.

“Yeah, who would have thought right?” Eva says with a chuckle as she snuggles closer into his embrace.

They’re both cuddled together on his bed; Eva with her head tucked comfortably under his chin, her arms around him holding him close, or maybe even keeping herself close to him in case he’d go out and get himself stabbed again. One thing was for fucking sure though, Chris never wanted to go through that ever again. Getting stabbed is very unpleasant and not recommended at all.

In return he has his one arm circled around her shoulder, fingers twirling around the strands of hair that stray into his grasp and the other arm curled protectively around his ribs. Broken ribs are also very unpleasant and not recommended either.

He’s been home for all of a day and he was already getting restless. He was finally allowed to leave by his reluctant doctors because it was Christmas Eve, Chris had been a model patient and maaaaybe it was in small part due William giving the poor doctor the look had he decided otherwise.

William for his part was just as hesitant as the doctors to let Chris leave the safety of the hospital just then, but Chris had mastered the ways of getting William to do whatever he wanted. It was a power he didn’t use often—that much power in the hands of one person could prove to be dangerous—but when he did there was absolutely nothing William could do to refuse him. He might impart that knowledge to Noora one day though, or if ever a time came that he thinks she would need it.

But the doctor reluctantly signed off and Chris was happy, Eva and William were slightly less so, mainly due to the fact that he was obviously still not a hundred percent, but who cared what they thought? It was his body and his health and he was the one who’d been stuck indoors for eight days, thought he was only really conscious for maybe half of that and bed-ridden for two-thirds of it. It was only because of Eva and William that he didn’t lose his mind completely in the meantime.

Chris hated hospitals. He always has and he always will. He always avoided going to one unless it was absolutely necessary or someone managed to drag him there against his will, so getting stuck in one without being able to leave had been one of his biggest fears. Those eight days were his absolute limit. To be honest, he would have left immediately once he regained consciousness if William, Eva and the doctors hadn’t been in the way…and if he could have been able to stand on his own two feet for more than a few seconds before feeling like he was about to pass out.

Eva and William were there the whole time. He thinks Eva only left once because her friends made her, or they tricked her into it, but William was always there and he was never lacking in visitors at any given time. Most of the Penetrators showed up almost ad nauseum once they were allowed to visit, not all at once though, which were small favours. He didn’t think he would have been able to keep up with everyone and everything going on if they had. Erik was also there almost as often as William and Eva, and Chris found his presence oddly comforting. All the other guys had been respectful of his state of mind though, they didn’t talk obnoxiously loud and whenever Chris felt like the surrounding was starting to dip in and out of focus, he recalls the sound of the excitable conversation slowing down to a more relaxed volume. He was thankful for that and for all the guys coming to visit him, even all of Eva’s friends. All of them, even the ones he didn’t know. He’s sure some of them were actually Noora’s friends too, which made the whole situation even more bizarre.

He was okay with Isak, not really friends, just friendly accomplices though he didn’t know Isak’s boyfriend at all. Also, he only then just realized that Isak was gay. He tried not to show his surprise but that shit came totally out of left field. Somehow he felt like he should have…known? Suspected somehow? No wonder Eva kept giggling whenever she brought up the topic of Isak dating one of the Pepsimax girls and she’d thrown shade many times about him meeting Isak during the whole Yakuza thing. He was surprised when Isak walked into his room with a tall, blonde guy and introduced him as his boyfriend.

Eva giggled that time too actually.

“Why are you always giggling whenever the topic of Isak comes up?” he asks suddenly. He thinks Eva was starting to doze off so the sound of his voice jolts her a little when he speaks.

“What?” Eva asks confused. Or faking confusion more like, he knows that look on her face. He thinks he’s gotten pretty good at reading her. She may be brainy but she was also super transparent, and he says that in the most affectionate way possible.

“Isak,” he enunciates. “Why are you always giggling when his name is mentioned? Is it cause you knew he was gay?” Eva gets that look on her face where he knows that she’s trying to cover up her desperate attempt to think up an excuse by being as adorable as she can possibly be. Well, it’s not going to work this time. “Don’t lie.”

Eva tries to smother the grin threatening to emerge, but she’s failing pathetically. “Chris—” she starts, but she’s about to twist the subject, so Chris mimics her tone cynically when he says; “Eva.”

Eva huffs. “Okay, okay. Fine,” she says, turning her head up to look at him. “We—as in, Noora and I, kind of suspected for a while that you and Isak were having…a thing.”

“A thing?”

“Yes, a thing. A…gay thing.”

Chris can feel the crease of his brows getting deeper when he tries to imagine what exactly could have brought this suspicion on. It clicks like a gear in shift suddenly. His meeting Isak about the Yakuza thing; exchanging phone numbers, also for the Yakuza thing. Him getting a call from Isak at the party, again, for the Yakuza thing. He thinks he can maybe understand how that would have looked to other people, especially other people who were maybe looking a little too close because they were maybe a little too involved in everything.

“Let me guess,” he says after his mental debate had come to a conclusion. “You were jealous, weren’t you?”

This time it’s Eva’s turn to act scandalous when she splutters out: “What? No. Not at all.”

“Yep, mm-hmm,” Chris hums teasingly. “I totally believe you right now.”

“Chris—” Eva starts once again, pulling out of his arm to sit up, jostling the bed slightly with the sudden movement and extracting a pained gasp from Chris that he didn’t have time to stop.

The mood immediately shifts after that; the scandalized look on Eva’s face is replaced by concern and a little guilt when she leans carefully over him.

“It’s nothing. I’m fine,” Chris says quickly when Eva’s about to open her mouth to spew some sort of apology that he really doesn’t want. He’s tired of everyone constantly apologizing to him, William being at the very top of that list. “Seriously. Just—it’s nothing, please.”

Eva is hesitant for a few seconds before she nods, returning to her previous position curled up against his side, but with much more care than the way she pulled out of it.

The annoying silence returns and Chris feels himself getting upset by how quickly the mood changed from happy and playful, to sombre and way too serious. He’s getting pretty sick and tired of everyone walking on eggshells around him.

“I wasn’t jealous by the way,” Eva says, interrupting his thoughts. “You would have made a cute couple anyway and I would have gladly stepped down.”

She says all in as a matter of fact and Chris finds himself laughing before he can do anything else. The laughter is agony on his ribs, but he doesn’t care. Eva always has a way of just making him feel better in an instance without even really trying too.

Eva’s soft laughter follows after him and the tension in the room is eased several folds once again. The both lapse into a more comfortable silence after that, Eva still snuggled in his side and Chris trying to recall the last time he felt this at ease around someone who wasn’t William. It was never with one of his hooks ups, that was for sure; the girls were always pretty and always willing, but he barely remembered they faces the morning after and he definitely didn’t remember any names.

He could never forget Eva’s though, even from the very first moment.

And Cool Chris, but that was an entirely different subject.

He wonders where William stalked off to. It was getting kind of late and William hasn’t come to pester him in at least three hours which for him was some sort of record.

The house is quiet besides the sounds of Christmas music floating in from the outside and the occasional jingling sound of sleigh bells from somewhere on the street. The rest of the house is empty besides him and Eva; the living room dark and deserted and the both of them snuggling comfortably in his bed pushed up against the wall opposite the door. He doesn’t know how long they’ve been laying there together; three hours, maybe four. It was nearing five p.m. at that point and William had come bursting in suddenly a few hours ago saying that he had some business to attend to with someone or whatever, he was muttering hurriedly and Chris had just told him to get the fuck out because his babbling was giving him a serious headache.

His stitches itched like a son of a bitch, his insides still felt like someone ran it through a sausage stuffer, his ribs hurt something awful so did the rest of him and he could feel a pounding headache building up behind his eyeballs and William being all jittery didn’t help him at all any at the time, just like it wasn’t helping any at the moment.

Maybe leaving the hospital really hadn’t been such a good idea.

“Chris? You okay?” he hears Eva’s voice calling his name softly and he only realized he’d closed his eyes when he has to open them to look at her.

“I’m okay,” he says in reassurance, sparring her a small smile.

Eva isn’t convinced though. She pushed herself up onto one elbow and eyes him critically. “Are you sure? You seem…in pain.”

“Not more than normal,” he says.

“No amount of pain should be normal though,” she says worriedly.

“It’s just a headache, Eva. Don’t worry.”

“But I do worry,” she says, again as a matter of fact and rendering Chris completely speechless. Chris can’t help himself but stare at her lips when she’s done talking and he realized that for the first time staring at a girls mouth so close to his, her lips aren’t the only thing he wants from her. He wants everything; her lips, her body, her heart; her. All of her. He’s never felt more complete than when he’s around her listening to her talk about her opinions of the Russ and the smile that comes across her face when she talks about her friends. When she tells him about something funny Eskild said or something even funnier someone named Linn said while she’s shot him down, or when she told him about their first Kose group meeting and Sana telling them to get with the 97-ers and about Sana being the one who added him on Instagram and liked all those pictures.

He laughed then, just like he always laughs so easily whenever Eva is around. Eva always has something interesting to say about something and he constantly finds himself unable to look away, unable to hide the interested look he’s sure is plain as day on his face. Eva always trails off and looks sheepishly away when she catches him staring but she has a small contented smile on his face and Chris thinks that he couldn’t think of a more beautiful sight.

Eva is beautiful. He doesn’t think he tells her that nearly enough but she is. All the girls he’d been with have been beautiful in their own way too, Iben was gorgeous and kind and her only fault was that she loved someone who didn’t love her back. But Eva has always been different. Different than the other girls he’d been with and all the other girls at school. He’d heard about what happened between her and her ex and the Pepsimax girl, but who was he to judge given his own track record? Eva had gone through the worst of the worst experience a girl could go through and she’d only come out stronger and Chris found that to be one of the sexiest aspects about her.

“Really, Eva. It’s nothing a little rest and some TLC won’t fix,” he says when he turns to Eva and still finds her expectant and worried gaze on him. “Unless you have other plans,” he says with a grin.

That manages to crack through the serious mask on Eva’s face and she reciprocates with a small smile of her own and a little head shake. “What if I do?”

“Then I’d be really sad,” he says.

“Well, I guess I have to cancel on that hot barista guy then. I couldn’t possibly leave in good consciences now.”

Again Eva manages to make him crack a painful laugh. “No wait a minute,” he says seriously. “How hot are we talking?”

“Pretty damn hot,” Eva says

“On a scale of one to ten, with me being ten and—let’s say the pervy beer guy being one, how hot would you rate him, truthfully?”

Eva looks like she’s giving the question a serious thought, tapping at her bottom lip with her index finger as she lets out a soft hmm. “Well,” she says finally, looking at Chris straight in the eye, “Not nearly as hot as you.”

And Chris is left internally floundering. There she goes again always leaving him in a constant state of disarray and speechlessness.

Instead of answering though, he reaches up to cup the side of her cheek gently, all while maintaining the intense eye contact, running his thumb across her cheeks.

“You’re the most beautiful though, Eva. And smart, and funny and the kindest person I’ve ever met,” he says truthfully.

Eva’s cheeks flush at the compliment and she immediately turns to look away, a sheepish smile playing at her lips, but Chris’ palm is still cupping her face and he doesn’t allow her to turn away.

“That’s the painkillers talking,” she says, still looking everywhere else but Chris’ eyes.

“I wouldn’t be in pain if the painkillers were still in effect,” Chris says truthfully, trying to catch Eva’s gaze as her eyes dart nervously at everything in the room except him. “Why don’t you believe me?”

The question stills her.

“It’s not that,” she says, trailing off unsurely. “Just—uh, I guess people just don’t tell me that very often.”

Chris’ smile drops slightly at the statement. “Well, they must have been blind as well as stupid,” he says confidently. “And it’s their loss.”

Eva runs her tongue over the bottom of her lips nervously and Chris can’t stop himself from staring. “Thanks,” she says, finally looking up to meet his eyes.

“No,” he replies. “Thank you, Eva, for—well, for everything.”

The silence descends again but neither Chris nor Eva could tear their gazes away from each other. Chris is laying on his back, propped up on a couple of pillows and Eva is on her side, leaning on her elbow beside him, her head slightly tilted and her long brown hair cascading down past her shoulder to brush against his arm.

Chris can feel the tension in the room hovering, it isn’t a bad kind of feeling just—apparent. He feels his breath quickening inside his chest though he tries not to be too obvious about it; Eva is still cool as a cucumber, her eyes intense and focused on him, on his face, he notices the way they trail down to his own lips every so often and he can barely hold back the smile. He’s never been the holding back kind of guy, but with Eva he feels like it’s never his place to take the first step, so he waits for her to…do something, or make the first move, because the aura pulsating around them makes it clear that something is about to happen.

Without a word or even a warning, Eva lowers herself down slightly to catch his lips in a kiss. Chris’ fingers find themselves tangled in a mess of brown hair soon enough as he feels hands reaching up to grab at the back of his neck and head with just as much ferocity. He feels himself almost being pushed deeper into the pillows behind him by Eva’s body pressed against his. His ribs are screaming at him but he blocks out the noise by circling his other arm around Eva’s body, pulling her closer against him.

The kiss lasts about seven hours, or at least that’s how long it feels like. In truth it was probably only about thirty seconds. But eventually they pull apart, a mess of tangles limbs and flustered cheeks and red, swollen lips, panting hard. If kissing and sex weren’t such enjoyable past times, he’s sure the human race would have died out a long time ago. Even though Eva looks as dishevelled as he probably does, there’s a calmness about her that he finds relaxing and the feeling that also makes him pleased. Eva being happy also makes him happy because that’s the most important thing.

“You really know how to leave a guy speechless,” he says after they’ve both managed to catch their breath.

Eva is running her fingers through her hair in an effort to smooth it down and he finds himself doing the same.

“How are your ribs?” Eva asks instead, like it just occurred to her that sandwiching a guy with broken ribs with her body might not have been such a good idea.

“I’ll survive,” he says. “Plus I’m sure they’ll understand when I explain the situation. They’ll be glad to take one for the team.”

Eva chuckles and Chris doesn’t think he’s heard a sweeter sound.

“Asshole,” she mutters under her breath, but returns to her position cuddled against him, reaching across to hug him around the chest and resting her head comfortably on his shoulder. Chris in return, reaches around to hold her against him with a strong arm. The other one gently massaging a bit of relief into his aching side.

“Where did William run off to though? He hasn’t come to be a nuisance in hours and honestly I’m getting quite concerned.”

“I’m pretty sure he’s with Noora—ahem, catching up,” Eva says.

“Yeah…pretty sure they’re doing a lot of that,” Chris says. “Speaking of which—”

“No,” Eva says dismissively before he could even finish what he was about to say.

“But Eva—”

“No,” she says with a much stricter tone. “You’re injured and the doctor himself said not to do anything strenuous for at least the next couple of weeks or so.”

“Eva—”

“Chris—no.”

“Ugh,” he groans petulantly, letting the hand caressing Eva’s shoulder gently drop down onto the bed with a defeated plop.

Eva seems to take pity on his disappointment. “After you’re fully healed though, then maybe we can revisit this conversation.”

That immediately cheers him up and his hand returns to its original position caressing her side gently. “Promise?”

“I promise,” she says, teasingly enunciating every syllable as she turns her head up to smile cheekily at him.

He returns the smile immediately.

Before long, the combination of the calm and quiet atmosphere of the room at the warm bedfellow at his side, Chris find himself being lulled into the welcoming arms of sleep. His finger keeps on tracing indistinct shapes on Eva’s arm and her side as his eyes start getting heavier and heavier and before long he don’t recall anything anymore.

Eva senses the moment Chris actually drifts off. His breathing evens out and the movement of his hand and fingers just stop. It’s relaxing laying there just listening to the sound of his soft breaths and looking at the rise and fall of his chest. His shirt had ridden up a little during their little make out and Eva can’t stop staring at the edges of the jagged scars peeking out from under the hem of his shirt. Two of them: the one that caused all the problems and the other one that was trying to fix everything it did. They were still reddish and raw and painful looking even after eight days and Eva stops herself from reaching over to run her fingers over them. It wasn’t her place.

She hears the sound of an incoming message on her phone and carefully shifts her body to the side, laying Chris’ hand back down on the mattress gently before she kicks her feet over the ledge and sits up, reaching for the offending thing.

It’s a message from William.

How is he? It said.

He just fell asleep. I think he’ll be out for a couple of hours.

K.

It’s a short reply that Eva doesn’t answer and just puts the phone away on the side table before she turns to look at the sleeping Chris beside her.

A lot has changed in the last week or so; most of the changes seem to be between the two of them and the rest feels like it’s within her own self. She came to that realization sometime within the last couple of days. On the inside she felt…lighter, somehow; more at ease and maybe even a little happier. She doesn’t know how much of that is because of Chris, but she suspects that he’s the majority reason. If someone had said that to her last year, she would probably have laughed.

Penetrator Chris of all people. Not just any regular Penetrator, arguably the second most infamous of the Penetrators, of not the most infamous. Personally Eva always found William rather overrated considering all the attention he got from girls from all walks of life, including her own group of friends. She would admit to realizing his charms after they started to get to know each other better though but it still always astounded Eva that people were gunning for William when Chris was standing right there.

The point is, Penetrator Chris of all people, with her of all people.

Little ol’ Eva with her low self-esteem and trust issues; but in her defence, Jonas never really gave her any solid reason to trust him fully. She should have realized it at the time. She might have stolen Jonas from Ingrid, but it wasn’t like Jonas was an unwilling participant in the whole thing. Sana said to her once that you can’t steal a person who didn’t already want to go in the first place.

But Chris never pretended to be anything other than what people thought he was and all the girls that got with him knew what they were getting themselves into. But Eva’s come to see that he’s so much more than that, everything he truly was you could see if you put in a little effort to scratch below the surface.

Eva didn’t just scratch the surface with him though, she broke out the fucking hoe, one might argue in more ways than one.

Her and Chris, huh?

For the first time, she thinks that the description sounds just about right.

In the distance she hears the sound of the front door opening and the sliver of light shining into the room through the crack under the bedroom door but she doesn’t move from her position. She looks at Chris for a few seconds longer in silence before slowly lowering herself back into her original spot. But she keeps her eyes on Chris’s face, reaching over with one hand to gently caress his cheek with her thumb, causing him to stir slightly but without waking up.

She stares at his closed eyes, his lips, slightly parted, the breaths he’s inhaling and exhaling, and the movement of the rise and fall of his chest under her palm. She finds herself whispering, “I love you,” into the silence without expecting an acknowledging response in return.

Chris sleeps on.

Eventually Eva tucks herself snugly into his side, tucking one hand under her chin and the other reaching the rest of the way to embrace him before she too feels the lull of sleep wash over her like a cloud and before long there is nothing.

Chris doesn’t know how long he’s asleep for. The sky is dark out when he opens his eyes and Eva is fast asleep against his side so he doesn’t dare move to reach over and check the clock on his phone. It must have been a couple of hours at least.

He doesn’t know if it was because he stirred too suddenly, but he feels Eva rousing beside him before her bleary eyes turn up to look at him.

“Hey there,” she greets with raspy voice and a sleepy smile.

“Hey yourself, sleepyhead,” he says, his voice groggy from sleep as he reaches up to rub at his eyes with the hand that isn’t holding onto Eva.

They continue lying there in silence for a few additional minutes just allowing their bleary minds to readjust and the drowsiness to work its way out. Waking up from a nap could sometimes be more tiring than not sleeping in the first place.

“Had a good sleep?” Eva asks after a while and a good long, refreshing stretch across the length of the bed.

“It was, until I woke up,” Chris says with a sigh, trying to blink away the sleepiness still clouding his mind. “How am I more exhausted now than I was before actually sleeping?”

“Rules of the universe I guess,” Eva adjusts herself to rest her chin on his shoulder and looks up at him while he arm reaches across to circle protectively around his torso.

“I’m tired of sleeping,” he says. “And I’m tired of being tired all the time.”

“You went through something traumatic, Chris. Your body just needs time to heal,” she says, making the situation sound much simpler than it really is.

“Easier said than done. I’m just bored out of my fucking mind right now,” he says. “Plus I think William may have been murdered or kidnapped because that’s literally the only explanation I can think of. This is so not like him. I think I need to put out a missing person’s report.”

Eva laughs through her yawn.

“Relax. He messaged me asking about you earlier. I told him you were asleep. So to disprove your first point, I’m sure William is still very much alive.”

“He and Noora must really be getting it on though.”

“Honestly, I don’t even want to know.”

“Since we’re on the subject—”

“Shut up, Chris.”

“You’re very mean, you know that?”

“It comes with the brainy part. You just have to accept it.”

Chris laughs at that.

There’s a ping of a new incoming message. It’s not his phone so he assumes it’s Eva’s. Eva doesn’t rush to read it though so he assumes it’s nothing urgent. “You know, I’m getting kind of hungry,” she says.

“Unless someone went grocery shopping today, I don’t think we have any food in the house though.”

“Take-out?” Eva suggests.

“You can use my phone,” he says.

Eva seems like she’s mentally debating something before she replies. “Come on,” she says eventually, scooting across to the side of the mattress and getting to her feet. “Let’s go check the kitchen first before we waste money if we don’t have to.”

“You go ahead,” he says. Already the thought of leaving the safe, warm comfort of the bed and trudging all the way to the kitchen didn’t seem like an appealing prospect whatsoever.

“Chris,” Eva chides gently. “It’s dark outside. You’re really going to make me walk all the way through the dark apartment by myself, at night? What kind of boyfriend are you?”

Chris’ mind immediately zeros in on the word boyfriend, but he doesn’t point it out. “The kitchen is literally five meters away, in a straight line. The only bogeyman that lives here hasn’t been home in hours.”

“Chris,” Eva says again, almost in a whine. As if pronouncing his name longer and longer each time was going to convince him to change his mind.

He really didn’t want to get up. Everything fucking hurt and he regrets not taking his pain pills before he went to sleep, because he’s both sore and stiff at the moment, it was a very uncomfortable state to be in. “Eva,” he mimics the tone. “I’m tired.”

“You just said that you’re tired of being tired, so do something about it.”

Yes, he did just say that. Chris kicks himself mentally for that.

With a loud exhale and a groan, he pushes himself up by his elbow, his left arms still curled protectively around his side and scoots slowly over to the edge of the bed, letting his legs dangle down to the cold floor as he attempts to catch his breath.

A guilty look flashes across Eva’s face for a split second but he doesn’t call attention to it. “Are you still really hungry?” he asks, doing his best impression of a kicked puppy looking up at her.

Eva takes a considerable amount of time answering that. She bites her lower lip and all of a sudden looks much more noticeably guilty, obviously realizing what she was asking of him. Her ‘yes’ is small and sheepish and guilty and all of a sudden Chris feels like kind of an asshole for the way he was acting.

He pushes himself to his feet slowly and with a groan but Eva is there at his side immediately; reaching around to hold him by the waist and pulling his arm across her shoulder to steady him.

“Ready?” he asks, more of a courtesy because he definitely wasn’t. His kitchen might as well be on the opposite end of town for all the effort he was about to put into the journey.

“Are you?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

And so they begin their journey, their pathetically slow and painful journey across those five meters to the kitchen. The hallway is pitch black when they exit the bright bedroom and so is the living room and the rest of the house.

“Now I’m really concerned about, William,” he says as he looks around at the obvious lack of life in the rest of the apartment.

“He’s fine,” Eva says almost a little too confidently, like she knows something he doesn’t.

For one thing, she doesn’t move to turn on the light in the hallways when they pass by the switch. Secondly, her focus, even in the pitch blackness doesn’t seem to be on what’s immediately in front of her. And thirdly, she’s strangely quiet. Even by Eva levels of quiet. Something smelled fishy.

His living room is before the kitchen if you’re coming from the bedroom, it isn’t an important detail to know except for the fact that he feels Eva’s steps slowing down and becoming more hesitant the closer they get to the archway that leads to the darkened area.

“You okay?” he asks, turning to look at the silhouette of her profile in the darkness.

“Yeah,” she says. “I just thought I heard something.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Just—uh, like something moving, but I’m sure it’s nothing.”

Chris is definitely sure it’s nothing. He isn’t a big believer in ghosts or the supernatural or whatever, but at the same time he isn’t a nonbeliever. He knows that there probably are things in the world that they couldn’t yet explain. Including but not limited to the whereabouts of one William Magnusson.

He’s going to start calling him William Missingson if he keeps this up though.

They halt completely by the entrance of the living room and Eva casts an unreadable look into the darkness. Her look is unreadable mainly because they’re in pitch fucking darkness and he can’t see shit besides the feint glow of the moonlight streaming in through the window and the shadows standing against its backdrop.

“Eva?”

Eva is silent for a brief moment.

In the next instance though, Chris thinks he might have been deafened and blinded at the same time because all of a sudden there’s a burst of brightness that detonates his corneas and the sound of a myriad of voices shouting indistinctly at him. Additionally, the soothing baritone of Frank Sinatra singing ‘Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas’ playing in the background.

Eventually Chris’ brain manages to decipher the wall of words coming at him from every which way at a variety of frequencies to make out the phrase, “Merry Christmas!” being shouted at him.

Right there in the middle of fray, leading the charge, a too wide dorky grin on his stupid face is William not-so-Missingson-anymore.

He’s holding up a glass of an indistinct looking liquid in toast; Noora, also grinning widely, glued loyally to his side. Scattered around him in groups of two’s and three’s, spread out across the span of the living room; all of them seemingly just popped out from behind a piece of furniture are the guys he’s arguably too familiar with, the few people that he considers friends, a handful that he just kind of knows and the rest he’s pretty sure are friends of Eva’s that he’s probably seen around or heard of.

Before his brain can even begin to formulate words or even find the necessary cells needed to signal his face to close his mouth and lower his eyebrows from his hairline where they’re undoubtedly found themselves lodged in, he finds William’s annoyingly smiley face almost right there in front of his. He didn’t even notice him walking up.

“Merry Christmas,” he says a bit too chipper for Chris’ taste.

“Wha—Wh—The fu—Wher—What the fuck?” he knows he’s gaping stupidly at everything, but it’s like his brain has momentarily stopped working.

“It’s just a little Christmas party, man,” William says, as if it explains even a fraction of the questions running through Chris mind at that moment.

“W—Why?” he asks, because he genuinely can’t begin to comprehend the sight he’s seeing with his own two eyes.

“Cause…” William starts, looking away from Chris for a moment, sharing a look with Eva and looking out at the company of people who’d just started mingling with each other, before returning his eyes back to Chris. “Because you deserve it and because we all needed this. This—” he motions out to the whole room with a sweep of his arm, “—this joy.”

And Chris finds himself speechless once again. Beside him Eva is silent, though he finds her eyes on him and a smile on her face when he turns his eyes to look at her.

“He’s right,” she says. “You, me, William; everyone needs this right now.” She trails off for a moment before adding in a quieter voice. “It’s the Kose party we didn’t get to enjoy together.”

Chris looks between Eva and William, then at Noora who just walked up, circling an arm around Williams waist as the edges of her lips curl into a smile. He glances out at the rest of the people in the room, hearing the sounds of merry chatter over the music still playing soothingly in the background; the large Christmas tree in the corner decorated with colourful glass balls and the little lights flickering between colours and what seems to be a giant paper mâché dildo sitting at the very tip.

That gives him momentary pause, before he moves onto the people and the all the familiar faces he sees smiling around him. He recognizes nearly a dozen or so of the Penetrators, Erik in the back with Borkis currently making eyes at the redheaded girl he doesn’t recognize, getting promptly thwarted by Noora’s gay roommate and his sparkly silver leggings. He recognizes Isak and his little group of friends and his tall blonde boyfriend he thinks is named Even. Rounding up the rag-tag bunch of people currently filling his living room to the gills are Eva’s crew sitting around the sofa whispering conspiratorially to each other.

“You shouldn’t have,” he finds himself saying. “This is just—this is all—you shouldn’t have gone through the trouble.” He tries not to get choked up but he can feel himself failing.

“It’s no trouble at all.” It’s Noora who says that, smiling brightly.

“Yeah,” William picks up the statement with a nod. “Because you’re worth all of this,” he says, and there’s an intensity in his eyes and a desperation in his voice when he says that. “It was Eva’s idea actually,” William adds after a moment, letting his last comment stand for a while before changing the subject.

Chris immediately looks at Eva after William says that and finds Eva’s blushing face looking back at him. There’s a small smile on her face but she looks more sheepish than proud at the admission. “Yeah, but William and Noora are the ones who did all the work.”

“Only because you had the idea first,” Noora says. “Work is work, but this party wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for you, Eva.”

“Guys…” Eva says though her words trail away into silence and she avoids making eye contact with anyone.

Chris makes the first move this time though, the arm already slung over Eva’s shoulder turning her around gently and he grabs her around her free shoulders with his other hand, pulling her into a tight embrace, almost curving his body over her small figure as he burrows his face into her hair. “Thank you,” he whispers into her ear. He doesn’t see her reaction, but he imagines her eyes widening, and maybe tearing up slightly because that was the aura she was giving off; eventually he feels smaller arms circling him around the waist, grasping onto the material of the back of his shirt and grasping onto him just as tight. “I love you,” he adds, even more quietly, a phrase that’s just for her ears. This time he feels her reaction; her body stilling in his embrace and the sound of sniffling close to his ear. He feels her nails nearly digging into the skin of his back because that was how firm her grip was behind his back.

This time William and Noora have thankfully taken their leave to go re-join the rest of the group, leaving Eva and Chris to their relative privacy in the room currently packed with people.

They stand there in the embrace for a solid minute before Chris hears a muttering that sounds like Eva’s voice, only approximately three times quieter as usual.

“I love you too,” she says back and this time he’s the one who stills.

They pull apart a fraction, just enough to be able to look each other in the eye after the confession. Chris doesn’t think he’s ever uttered those words to anything that isn’t a plate of food so all this is just really new to him. Judging from Eva’s reaction, maybe it is to her too.

That is until a third voice rather exasperatedly joins the fray and spoils the mood.

“Oi, I’d say get a room, but I’m here to fucking party.”

It’s Cool Chris. She’s cool, so Chris doesn’t even really mind the interruption.

Eva is laughing while simultaneously glaring daggers at her friend from across the room and trying to be discreet about it. But they step out of the embrace eventually, though they return to their original position with Eva at his side keeping him steady and him at Eva’s side trying not to face plant from the effort of standing upright for this long.

“Then lets party,” he says with a forced cheer. The reality is that he really, really needs to sit down. Eva can tell and so can William who walks back over while the rest of the room breaks into a round of cheers.

“C’mon,” Eva beckons him to the sofa where the rest of the girls are sitting around; Sana is as usual surveying everyone around her through a critical eye, though when he and Eva approach, she’s the first one to get to her feet to offer her seat to him.

He plops down with a thank you that he isn’t sure made it past the part of his brain that thinks of things to say to the part of his body that actually says the words.

“No problem,” Sana says which confirms that he had indeed said the words aloud.

“So, how are you enjoying the party?” it’s Eva’s chipper blonde friend asking from beside him.

“It’s…very lively,” he says.

“I mean, I know it’s not the usual Penetrator type party, especially when Christmas party time is pretty much over and there aren’t that many girls here and there’s no actual alcohol, but it’s just friends here having a good time, isn’t that just the cosiest?” she says as more of a statement than a question requiring an answer, and after he manged to decipher what she actually said, he really can’t find anything wrong in what she said.

“It is very cosy,” he says with a small smile and her face just lights up at his reply. “Also what do you mean there’s no actual alcohol?”

“Uh—well, it was Eva’s rule and William agreed.”

Chris immediately snaps his attention towards Eva. “A party without alcohol? Girl, I thought I knew you.”

That immediately breaks Eva out of the shell of silence she’d gotten trapped in after their unexpected declaration of love earlier. “Excuse me? Need I remind you that that was the doctors’ orders? I thought it’d be easier on you if we all went without alcohol for this one night.”

He was about to say something to that, though even he wasn’t sure what dumb thing was about to come out of his mouth when he opened it to reply, but he’s saved by a friendly grasp on his shoulder and Erik’s familiar voice sounding from somewhere behind him. “Bro, the things we do for you. I don’t think I’ve ever been legitimately sober at a party before in my life.”

“Ringing in the incoming New Year with a lot of firsts I guess,” Borkis says; a deep statement made much less impactful by the fact that he’s currently wearing sunglasses indoors—at night, before he hauls Erik by the elbow and they both stumble away chuckling at something Erik had said.

“We do have eggnog though,” Vilde says like a consolation prize.

“Yippee.”

“Ignore him,” Eva says, addressing her friends, looking much more like the Eva he’s used to seeing with the excess of colour now clear from her cheek. “I’m going to go get us some eggnog,” she says to him directly. “You can drink it or you can not drink it, it’s up to you.”

“I’ll drink whatever you give me, dear,” he says with a wink, causing the blush to return to Eva’s cheeks before she hurriedly rushes off, a grinning Vilde following close behind.

Cool Chris who had been uncharacteristically quiet through the whole exchange gets to her feet. “Chris,” she says with a nod.

“Chris,” he acknowledges with a nod in return.

And then she too trudges off after Eva and Vilde. With Noora still glued to William’s side somewhere in the midst of the party, he’s left alone with Sana studying him critically from the single seater sofa to his right.

“So…” he starts, trailing off into awkwardness soon after. “Not here for the eggnog?”

“Not a fan,” she says simply and straight to the point.

“O-kay,” he says.

“You know what I’m even less of a fan of?”

“I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”

“People who hurt my friends,” she says, her face the epitome of calm serenity.

Chris is torn between feeling happy that Eva obviously has a group of friends that love her just as much as she loved them and feeling really fucking intimidated, because frankly, he’s feeling both at the moment. “I won’t,” he says. “Or rather, I don’t want to.”

Sana seems to consider his answer but at the end, she actually smiles, and Chris releases the breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding.

“Good. I’ll keep you to your word.”

“What about you?” Chris finds himself asking. “Do you have anyone that your friends need to make thinly veiled threats against?”

“No.”

Her answer comes way too quick and way too dismissive.

Chris finds himself grinning. “You do,” he teases, a feeling of pride swells up inside him when he sees Sana looking actually flustered for the first time ever. He didn’t think that was even possible.

“What’s his name? Do you friends know him—or, do your friends even know?”

“Shut up.”

“Damn, that’s pretty cold.” He finds himself actually laughing at her reaction.

“What’s cold?” he hears Eva’s voice asking, turning just in time to see her approaching with two small round glasses in hand.

“The weather,” he says at the same time he hears Sana’s voice saying, “Nothing.”

Eva looks strangely between the two of them but before she can bring up any of the questions that obviously floating around in her head, he finds himself on his feet faster than he thought was possible for him given his current pitiful state.

“Come on, let’s go look at the tree.” He drags her off, her gaze still glancing between him and Sana who is pointedly looking away before she can even voice her objection.

They pass by three Penetrators, two cheery Merry Christmas wishes and a hilariously big mistletoe hanging off a dude’s silver legging covered junk before they actually reach their destination. The tree is even more eclectic looking up close and there are way more handmade sex toys hanging off it than Chris initially thought.

“I made this one,” Eva points out a small golden Christmas tree hanging innocuously in the side.

“Cute. Who made the uh—the—” he motions to the erect pink penis decorating the tree top like a silent protector with his thumb.

Eva nearly face palms though she’s snickering. “Chris made that,” she says. “I don’t know what it is with Chris’ and sex. It’s like there’s a direct correlation between sex and all their other interests.”

Chris laughs at that. “I don’t know what you mean. Also, I knew there was reason I liked her,” he says, feeling his tongue subconsciously find the outer corner of his lips through his grin. It’s something he does involuntary whenever he feels the most comfortable.

“I like when you do that,” Eva says, eliciting a questioning ‘huh’ from him. “The tongue thing; I like it when you do it. I think it’s a little hot.”

Chris’ grin widens. “You think it’s hot?” he asks, feeling a distinct sense of déjà vu about the exchange. It’s pleasant and nice, made even better by his present company and the relaxed chatter going on around him. “I guess you really do just like me for my body.”

“Damn, I guess I’ve been found out.”

“Speaking of body—”

“I swear Chris, I will hit you.”

“Okay, okay. Girls are just so violent nowadays.”

They continue looking at the tree in silence for a rather hilariously long time. The more Chris studies it though the more little things and new details he starts to notice, such as the suspicious looking decorated condom hanging almost right at the very back, like someone adamantly wanted that thing there but didn’t want to be too obvious about it.

“Did you make that one too?” he asks, pointing a finger at the rather vulgar decoration hiding among the pine needles.

Eva squints a little to look at what he’s pointing at and when she finally notices it, she lets out exasperated groan and a shout of “Eskild!” that’s heard even over the music and the all conversations happening.

But Eskild doesn’t seem ruffled in the slightest by her tone. He continues on shaking his money-maker to the music that so obviously didn’t fit the style of dance he’s going for; the mistletoe now hanging from the back of his pants moving in an almost hypnotizing manner with the sway of his hips.

“I swear that guy has no shame.”

“Well I can see how you’re both friends then.”

Eva elbows him once in the arm, but they’re both smiling light heartedly.

“Also if I have to keep holding onto these two cups of eggnog any longer I’m going to start charging a fee.” He’s about to reach over to grab one of the cups when she pulls it away, her face slightly more serious than it was two seconds ago. “Let’s have a seat first. I’m getting a little tired from having to stand here holding these two heavy cups by myself,” she says.

Chris knows she’s just doing a really bad job at covering up her actual concern and the fact that she wants to go sit down has everything to do with him looking like he’s about to keel over at any minute. Truthfully, he wasn’t even feeling that badly until he just thought about it. It felt like gravity was trying its hardest to pull his insides down into his left knee.

They find William lounging on the sofa when they get back, his legs crossed at the knee and an arm slung over Noora’s shoulder, currently involved in a seemingly deep conversation with Sana who’s still occupying the single seater sofa like it’s her own throne.

“But seriously, what would one person need with eight pallets of toilet paper?” he hears William ask when they get closer.

“I don’t know. Did you think I asked? Maybe he jerks off a lot,” Sana says, talking to William with a tone one usually reserved for petulant two year olds who won’t stop asking dumb questions.

The undoubtedly thrilling conversation halts when they walk up, and William who notices their approach first immediately gets to his feet.

“You okay?” he asks right of the bat.

“Yes, I’m okay. Would you please stop asking me that? I’m not about to keel over at any moment you know. It’s getting annoying.”

“Chris,” William chides gently and Chris folds like paper.

“Fine. I need to sit down,” he says and that’s about as much weakness about how terrible he’s currently feeling at the moment as he’s willing to admit.

William immediately moves to give him room to pass and Noora scoots over to the edge of the three seater to make space for him and Eva.

The moment his butt drops onto the soft cushion he tries not to moan with relief. Who knew being upright could be so exhausting. Being injured is both exhausting and annoying. Being injured with four people looking on worriedly at him is even more exhausting and annoying.

“Enough,” he orders. “Fine, I admit I’m still not a hundred percent, but all of you hovering and treating me with kid gloves isn’t helping any, so stop it.” He leans back into the backrest of the sofa and flings an arm out to cover his eyes.

He can feel the tension in the silence that ensues. The seat beside him dips slightly and he smells the gentle waft of Eva’s shampoo as she leans in close to him, a hand rubbing his thigh in a comforting manner.

“I’m sorry,” he hears William say, there’s regret in his voice and a feeling of guilt bubbles up inside him. “I didn’t realize we were doing that. We’re just worried about you.”

Chris exhales once and removes his arm, sitting up straighter to address William, who’s now perched on the arm rest beside him. “I know. I’m sorry too. I’m just—tired of everyone tip-toeing around me. What happened sucks, but it isn’t like I’m just going to suddenly drop dead. But every time someone starts fussing I kind of feel like I am. I just want everyone to be—normal.”

“Okay,” William agrees, reaching over to place his hand on Chris’ shoulder.

“So anyway, the toilet paper guy,” Sana says suddenly, attracting all the attention back to her. “He’s either a serial masturbator, or he’s leaving them scattered around the house in a planned madness sort of way in case of an alien invasion.”

“Sana,” Noora chides through a chuckle.

“I thought Muslim girls were supposed to be demure and soft-spoken,” William says though he isn’t unamused by her comment.

Sana rolls her eyes and scoffs. “You should get out more, William. The world extends much further than the length of your undoubtedly overpriced bed.”

Everyone laughs out loud at that, even William.

Chris spares Sana an appreciative nod for the change of subject that is discretely reciprocated and the atmosphere around them is much more relaxed after that.

“Chris,” Eva calls him suddenly when the conversation trails off to a different subject between Sana and William that Chris can’t be bothered to concentrate on. “I was wondering, if—uh, if, when you’re free—or if you want to anyway…that we could—if you want—we could have dinner maybe, sometime, at my house when my mom’s home?”

Chris sits up straighter at that. He must have been high because it sounded like Eva just implied that she wanted to invite him to dinner and introduce him to her mom. It was the first offer of its kind that he thinks he’s ever received.

It’s…touching.

She stutters out quickly when he doesn’t answer for a second too long; “I mean, if you don’t want to it’s totally fine. I know we’re just—”

“Eva,” he interrupts her mid stutter. “I’d love to,” he says earnestly.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Really.”

“Good. I mean, great. My mom’s always busy so I don’t know when she’ll actually be around though.”

“It’s fine, just tell me whenever, and I’ll be there.”

“Great,” she says with a wide smile that immediately brightens up her whole face.

Chris finds himself unable to look away because it’s like he just realized how beautiful she really is. He’s always found her pretty, but nowadays he thinks that she’s even more than that. She just takes his breath away every time.

“You wanna hear something funny?” William asks after it becomes apparent that his conversation with Sana had ended a while ago and that the three of them have been eavesdropping on their conversation the whole time. “I’ve actually already been introduced to Eva’s mom.”

“What?” Eva exclaims confusedly while Chris can only raise his eyebrows in surprise.

“Yeah. When I came over to pick up—umm, you know who for—you know...”

“Shit,” Eva grins. “I completely forgot. Remember Noora, when you guys snuck out of my room drunk off your ass that time when Vilde…you know.”

Noora laughs a boisterous laugh when she recalls the exact memory. “Oh my god, I remember.”

“Am I missing something?” Sana asks, looking to Chris for an explanation but getting only a similarly confused shrug in return.

“Yeah, same here,” he says.

“You weren’t there Sana,” Noora says. “Basically Vilde was in preparation to sacrifice her virginity to our dear William here—”

“Anyway!” William interrupts quickly. “I met Eva’s mom at the door and we were introduced. It wasn’t all that funny or all that long. Let’s move on.”

“No, no, no,” Chris objects with a raised hand. “I’m still intrigued.” From the chair to his right he hears Sana’s supportive, “As am I.”

“I’m with William on this one,” Eva says. “That was really all there was. By the way, my mom said you were handsome enough for an average looking guy,” she says with a shrug at William and a not at all apologetic smirk. “Sorry.”

Noora bursts out into laughter and William actually looks genuinely hurt by her words, but Chris finds the whole thing too hilarious to even think about comforting his friend. Even Sana is laughing and Chris can’t help but look around at this unlikely group of people he somehow found himself smack dab in the middle of;

The most amazing girl he’s ever met on his arm; snuggled against his side though her attention is on Noora beside her clutching onto her arm and burrowing her face in her shoulder in laughter. At the unlikeliest of allies he ever thought he’d find sitting just a few feet away; her headscarf, a piece of clothing he’d found so intimidating before, but right now he didn’t even see it past the wide dimpled smile she was wearing as an even more apparent accessory.

He looks at the various people spread out across his living room; familiar Penetrators friends and the guys like Isak and Jonas (despite their rather rocky history) that he’d truthfully grown to like over the course of the last year or so. He looks at the girls that he isn’t really all that familiar with, but the fact that they’re here now, immediately put them on Chris’ good side, and at Cool Chris who is truthfully one of the coolest people he knows.

Finally he looks at William at his side; for the first time it truly felt like he had William at his side instead of him constantly being at Williams side. His best friend, his bro; his family. Maybe even more important to him than his own flesh and blood because William has always been there for him. Sure sometimes he gets side tracked by other shiny things, but Chris never holds it against him for long; he really can’t, because William is one of the best things that’s ever happened to him.

Lastly, he looks at the gorgeous, amazing girl at his other side. He wonders how he managed to find himself in this position with the girl he doesn’t think he really deserves, the best friend he considers more important than life itself and all the people who have somehow broken through his impenetrable wall and made themselves completely at home in his tiny metaphorical and literal apartment. At that moment he thinks he really is the luckiest person in the world.

Family isn’t just the people you came from or the people who share the same blood. Family can be people who come into your life and just stay, through the problems and the drama and the heartache and the fights. Family are people who have your back and pull you up off the ground when you can’t seem to muster up the strength to do it yourself. Family can be just a collection of people that you allowed in when it was hard letting other people see how broken you really were on the inside. It doesn’t make it any less precious or any less important, it just makes it a family that you chose for yourself.

Without warning, he grabs Eva by the shoulder and kisses her once and passionately right on the mouth.

Eve is flustered when he pulls back and everyone else can just look on gobsmacked but to Chris, things have never felt more right.

A/N: Finally made it to the very end. This story has been an absolute pleasure to write and while I’m happy to have completed it, there’s also a bittersweet sense that comes along with it. It’s been such an amazing time fleshing out these characters that I love and trying to do justice to this pairing that I love so much and I truly hope I succeeded in doing that. Especially with this chapter, because all the Chris/Eva in this chapter is a long time coming. Slow burn indeed.

A huge thank you to all the people who have followed this story loyally and been patient with me and my irregular updating schedule. Especially to the people who have left such nice comments and written such nice tags about this story on here and on ao3 and the people who have sent me asks about this story and to let me know how much they like it, I really appreciate it a whole lot.

This chapter is dedicated to one of the women of my life, @hikaru9 and the new amazing friend I made on this site because of this story @imyourliquor-youremypoison

Hope this chapter is a worthy conclusion to this tale because I put my heart and soul into this story and I’m really proud of it.

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