So, I kind of disappeared mid-Chubtober, sorry about that! Work and life just got kind of wild these past few months and writing was on the back burner. I had plenty of ideas, but the motivation to put those into complete fics just wasn't happening.
But exciting times - I made a new friend! @bulletproofscales is a great writer and we recently connected, it was lovely. I've been reading his fics for a while and just wanted to appreciate his writing.
He was so kind and made me feel a renewed sense of confidence and motivation in my writing. So consider this a little new friend gift and encouragement to send the message to those writers you appreciate!
The house was quiet aside from the rustle of Yoongi unpacking his takeout order on the coffee table. He had been craving fried chicken and hoped that ordering extra would finally encourage his boyfriend to eat more than his typical protein, veggies, and rice for dinner.
Yoongi loved Jimin with everything he had and would never ask him to change if Jimin truly didn’t want to, but deep down, Yoongi felt that Jimin’s strict discipline and bland diet were more forced than desired.
Jimin had a hard-earned physique which Yoongi could appreciate. However, it was difficult to pinpoint exactly why Jimin’s appearance held so much of his mental and physical space.
Yoongi saw the way Jimin stopped himself from indulging as if he were internally scolding himself for even considering. He would literally stop halfway as he reached a hand or a utensil for any food outside of his tracked and planned regimen.
Most people would be angry with the thought of someone just grabbing food off their plate, but Yoongi wished Jimin would steal bites as often as it looked like he wanted to.
Jimin entered the room carrying a small bowl of rice topped with some veggies and tofu. It looked entirely unappetizing, admittedly even more so than Jimin’s typical food that at least had decent seasoning.
As he sat down, Jimin glanced at the containers of fried chicken that smelled incredible. He stared at his bowl and just felt his stomach turn. Even though he was hungry, the thought of eating his perfectly weighed and prepped meal felt more disappointing than ever.
Yoongi looked over at Jimin with a bit of a sad smile, seeming to pick up on Jimin’s hesitation to eat. “You don’t have to eat any of this, but I got your favorite flavor and some beer I know you like. Just have as much as you want - you know, if you want any at all, no pressure.”
The words hung in the air, like a permission slip Jimin didn’t need but admittedly wanted. He wasn’t sure if it was hunger or the way Yoongi had phrased it, but the next thing he knew, he was reaching for a piece of chicken, and then the beer Yoongi opened for him.
Jimin didn’t know how Yoongi managed to spontaneously flip the mental switch or if he was just so tired of monitoring his diet so closely, but something about tonight sent all of Jimin’s hesitation out the window.
Without letting himself turn back on his moment of diet rebellion, Jimin pushed the small bowl away and watched with anticipation as Yoongi slid a full container of chicken in front of him. The spicy sauce looked more appetizing than anything Jimin had eaten in months.
Yoongi made a sound of appreciation as he saw Jimin pick up another piece of chicken and sip on the beer. He wasn’t about to question a thing that was happening. To see his boyfriend enjoy his meal for the first time since they moved in together was more satisfying than any food could be for Yoongi.
Jimin continued to reach for piece after piece of chicken, almost mindlessly as he tried to stop himself from thinking too much about calories. The spice was perfect, heat masking his fullness in between sips of the chilled beer.
It didn’t take long before Jimin was full, more full than he had been in a long time. The chicken and beer went down with ease, warm and filling in a way that his veggies and rice never could be.
As he sat back against the couch, rubbing his already bloated stomach, Jimin couldn’t help but feel a little ashamed. The reality of the situation came crashing down quick as he looked over at the still-full bowl of his meal-prepped dinner.
Jimin had lost track of how many pieces he’d eaten, no possible clue how to track this slip-up of a meal in his calorie app. There were only crumbs and leftover sauce in the bottom of his empty container, and he felt completely stuffed.
Jimin was feeling a bit dejected because he had worked so hard his whole life to stay in shape and maintain his physique, resisting college weight and the temptations of having his own finances to spend however he liked. Suddenly a stable relationship steals all his willpower?
Yoongi, on the other hand, was still happily munching away on his chicken. Jimin wasn’t upset that his boyfriend was on the chubbier side by any means. Yoongi had been a bit pudgy when they met in college, and the weight continued with indulgent choices and a settled relationship. Jimin had always told himself not to fall into bad habits when they started dating, even more so once they shared a home.
Choosing to ignore Jimin’s silent spiral in hopes of pulling his boyfriend back out of it, Yoongi sent him a warm, satisfied smile. “It’s nice to see you relaxing a bit. It’s okay to indulge and eat what you like sometimes. I promise.”
Jimin nodded, but there was a small, nagging voice in his head telling him he’d overdone it. But Yoongi was right, it was just food. It was just a moment of indulgence. It didn’t have to mean anything more than that.
As they settled into the couch, both of them full and happy, Jimin realized something. Maybe he hadn’t eaten to enjoy the food, maybe he’d been eating to enjoy the way it felt to share a meal with Yoongi, to relax and let go.
It wasn’t about the food itself; it was about the moment, the connection getting stronger with Yoongi. Still, Jimin couldn’t ignore the tightness in his jeans as he reclined, the way his stomach stretched uncomfortably against the fabric.
But for now, he couldn’t help but wonder: was Yoongi’s influence stronger than his own self-control? Jimin was inclined to believe it was and no matter what his insecurities were telling him, he loved Yoongi way more than counting calories.
Jimin's thoughts were interrupted by Yoongi's gentle touch on his arm. "Hey, you okay? You seem a little lost in thought there."
Jimin forced a smile, trying to push away his worries. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bit full."
Yoongi chuckled, patting his own stomach trying to ease the tension growing. "I know the feeling. But isn't it nice sometimes? To just let go and enjoy?"
Jimin nodded, not entirely convinced. He glanced down at his stomach, noticing the slight roundness that hadn't been there before. It was barely noticeable and entirely bloating that would go down with time, but to him, it felt like a glaring reminder of his lack of control.
"You know," Yoongi continued, oblivious to Jimin's internal struggle, "I've always admired how disciplined you are with your diet and exercise, but I worry sometimes that you're too hard on yourself."
Jimin finally cracked a bit of a sad smile. The words rang true and he knew where Yoongi was coming from. “I know, I’m sorry. I’ve seen the way you look sometimes when it gets…bad.”
Yoongi sighed and placed his hand on Jimin’s thigh, rubbing soothingly. “You don’t get bad, Jiminie. Your anxiety and insecurity may ebb and flow, but nothing about you is bad.”
Looking down at Yoongi’s hand gently caressing his leg, Jimin felt a rush of warmth return, almost physically feeling it overpower that little voice constantly in his head. He simply nodded as he realized Yoongi had more to share.
“And it’s okay if you gain a little weight. If you get settled and relax a bit more. Relationship weight is so normal, expected even and I would love you the same. I mean, I admit that I would even enjoy seeing you fill out a bit more.”
Jimin felt his face heat up at Yoongi's words, mixed with a flutter of anxiety. He hadn't expected Yoongi to be so direct about it even though he knew better than to underestimate his hyung. "You would?" he asked hesitantly.
Yoongi nodded, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Of course. You're gorgeous no matter what, but I love the idea of you being more comfortable, more relaxed. Plus," he added with a playful wink, "I think you'd look incredibly cute with a little extra padding. I mean, your ass is great already, Min, but imagine it with a bit more weight. Damn…"
Jimin felt his cheeks flush, torn between embarrassment and a strange sense of excitement. He'd never considered that Yoongi might actually prefer him a bit heavier. It was a jarring thought, but not entirely unpleasant.
"I don't know," Jimin mumbled, his hand unconsciously moving to his bloated stomach. "I worked so hard for so long to maintain…everything. It feels like I’m giving up on myself if I just throw in the towel.”
“And I understand that, but I’m just saying that you don’t need to stop enjoying food just for the sake of staying thinner. I’d love to take you out for dinner dates or spoil you with your favorite sweets. Sometimes it would be nice to know that my Jiminie has eaten well because of me.”
Jimin was caught off guard, feeling himself get a little bit teary-eyed from the confession. He hadn’t realized that he was limiting his and Yoongi’s quality time for the sake of dieting. “I would love that too. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize-”
Yoongi leaned over, giving Jimin a gentle kiss to cut off the impending ramble of misplaced guilt. “Don’t apologize. I know you better than anyone so I know you would never do it intentionally. Just promise me that you will talk to me if you are feeling insecure or having those internal struggles. I’m not saying you have to start or stop anything food and body-related. All I’m asking is for a bit more communication about those things.”
Jimin nodded slowly, feeling a mix of emotions swirling inside him. "I'll try," he said softly, leaning into Yoongi's touch. "It's just hard to let go of old habits, you know?"
Yoongi smiled understandingly. "I know, baby. And I'm not asking you to change overnight. Maybe you can be a little kinder to yourself. Allow yourself to enjoy things without guilt?"
Jimin took a deep breath, considering Yoongi's words. He had to admit, something was appealing about the idea of relaxing his strict regimen, of allowing himself to indulge without constantly worrying about the consequences.
"Okay," he said finally, a small smile tugging at his lips. "I mean, dinner was really good tonight. I can’t remember the last time I ate as much as I wanted without counting the calories or restricting myself.”
“I know, and I just want you to know that you can do that more often. I’m glad you enjoyed dinner tonight,” Yoongi replied with a warm smile, leaning in for another kiss. “How about dessert?”
Jimin laughed and rolled his eyes. “That was quick. You just wanted an excuse to feed me, didn’t you?”
“Maybe,” Yoongi chuckled with a small shrug. “Or maybe I just want to spoil my darling boyfriend who I love so much.”
“You already take care of me so well,” Jimin responded genuinely, wanting Yoongi to know that he had not been lacking just because Jimin wasn’t always eating as much as he should.
Yoongi patted Jimin’s thigh as he stood up. “And now I can do it even better. So, ice cream?”
Jimin laughed and felt a weight lift from his shoulders as if his insecurities floated away with Yoongi’s reassurance. “Yes, I suppose I could make room for some ice cream.”
As Yoongi headed to the kitchen, Jimin leaned back onto the couch, his mind still processing their conversation. He couldn't deny the pleasant feeling that spread through him at the thought of Yoongi wanting to care for him, to spoil him. It was a stark contrast to his usual self-imposed restrictions.
The sound of cabinets opening and closing drifted from the kitchen, followed by the clink of bowls and spoons. Jimin found himself smiling, anticipation building despite his already full stomach.
Yoongi returned, balancing two generous bowls of ice cream. "I hope you don't mind, but I may have gone a little overboard with the toppings," he said with a shy smile.
Jimin's eyes widened as he took the bowl from his boyfriend - multiple scoops of ice cream drizzled with caramel sauce, sprinkled with chocolate chips, and topped with whipped cream.
“Damn, you were serious about wanting me to soften up, huh?” Jimin joked as he carved out his first spoonful.
Yoongi paused for a moment and looked over Jimin’s thin and lean body. He had always thought his boyfriend was too small, but it was also a little selfish. Yoongi loved the idea of a softer, curvier Jimin and he told him as such.
"Well, I can't deny that the thought of you with a bit more cushion is appealing," Yoongi admitted with a playful smirk. "But more than that, I just want you to be happy and comfortable. If that means indulging in dessert, then so be it. I hate the thought of you sitting around inside your head thinking you can enjoy a meal. In my eyes, you always look beautiful so why worry?"
Jimin felt a flutter in his stomach that had nothing to do with the sweet treat in his hands. Yoongi was so open and honest in a way that was healing Jimin in unexpected ways. How could he possibly deny his boyfriend’s words when they were spoken without a moment of hesitation?
“Thank you, hyung. Really, that means more than you could ever know,” Jimin replied, trying to keep his tears at bay by focusing his eyes firmly on his spoon in hand.
Yoongi hummed, clearly pleased that Jimin was accepting such a bold compliment and implication. "Of course, Min-ah."
As they ate, Jimin found himself relaxing more and more. The initial guilt he'd felt earlier was fading, replaced with the satisfaction of a delicious dessert and his boyfriend’s care for him. He expected some resistance from his stomach to eat the bigger-than-expected portion of dessert, but the sugar seemed to be a fresh start and it went down easily.
They ate their ice cream in comfortable silence, watching the movie playing. Yoongi finished his first and cuddled up with Jimin who was still working through his bowl. Yoongi admittedly put extra ice cream in Jimin’s bowl, purely because of the excitement of his boyfriend's agreement to dessert.
Yoongi started to softly rub Jimin’s stomach, trying to settle his full stomach considering he never ate this much. Jimin let out a little laugh at his boyfriend’s touch but also melted a bit under the sweet affection. He also was a bit thankful for the comforting touch considering how full his stomach was.
When Jimin finished his bowl, he set it aside and leaned back into the couch cushions with a relaxed sigh. Yoongi’s hand found his midsection again, and Jimin let his stomach fully expand into his touch.
"Mmm, that feels nice," Jimin murmured, his eyes half-closed as he savored the gentle pressure of Yoongi's hand on his overfull stomach. The combination of the hearty dinner and decadent dessert had left him feeling pleasantly stuffed, a sensation he hadn't allowed himself to experience in a long time, if ever.
Yoongi smiled, continuing his soothing circular motions. "I'm glad. You look so relaxed right now. It's a good look on you."
Jimin hummed in agreement, surprising himself with how content he felt. The nagging voice of guilt that had plagued him earlier was now just a distant whisper, drowned out by the comfort of Yoongi's touch and the satisfaction of a good meal.
"You know," Jimin said softly, "I think I could get used to this."
Yoongi looked over at Jimin, his soft smile growing with a more prideful beam. “Good, hyung’s really proud of you, Jiminie. I know that may sound silly over something like dessert, but I mean it.”
Jimin’s cheeks flushed as he let out a little whine, feeling exposed under Yoongi’s warm touch and even warmer smile. “I’m honestly proud of me too, hyung. Also, I kind of forgot how good food could be.”
“Well, don’t worry, you have me to remind you as often as you need.”
