What is wrong with me!? Why of I keep breaking from reality!? I just lost all my friends bc I withdrew from them and blamed EJ for it. I feel like I'm losing it. I need to make my own reality, one where I'm involved again, real life can't exist anymore, I have to leave. I have to k¡ll someone. I need to do something other than loose everything bc I can't stop running. There's something wrong with me again. It won't go away and I can't do anything and I can't stop splitting on other people but it's not did splitting it's something else, something that wants me to beat all my friends up and give me and my ex matching inc¡sions, to leave everything and run. I feel dizzy and sick and I keep having these episodes.
How can I make it stop, how can I make friends again.
I can't keep loosing everyone I love because I everyone views me as with drawn or passive aggressive or pushing them away, I need them but my brain won't let me, I can't stop it. I'm losing everything to whatever disorder this is and it's paranoid reclusive shut in delusional behaviours are destroying me.
⚠️ THIS IS NOT FAKE! IM GENUINELY SCARED! ⚠️