#cinema usher

[bottlesandbarricades]

Manager: can you come help serve? There's a massive queue.

Me, on my break, sipping my diet coke aka my lunch because I can't afford anything else due to piss poor pay: My dude that's kinda not my problem for another whole 8 minutes

[streetsofdublin]

MISTER SCREEN LOST HIS JOB

To the best of my knowledge Mr Screen did not accept early retirement and now works at the Savoy on O'Connell Street.

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[daddywarbats]

Today was a long and terrible day of nothing but disasters and wrecked trains and everything going to shit.

Now with added commentary!

10AM - I punch in for a 10-5 shift.

10:01 - WHY HELLO FIRST CUSTOMERS, SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU FOR THE FIRST SHOW AT 10:30.  Is the theater even ready? No and neither is the kitchen.

10:05 - can I even finish doing a break log?  No, I have to stop what I’m doing and rip tickets because I am the only person in my department there to do that.

10:06 - oh now there are two of us, because one girl came a few hours early.  Fine, she’s ready to work just do the fucking paperwork let’s go.

10:20 - hi old friends, I’ll see you at 1:15 probably when you get out of Captain 3 because I’LL STILL BE HERE PROBABLY.

11:41 - Temp cook’s phone is stolen.

12:00 - holy shit two more staff members

12:01 - everything is sold out for the rest of the day and night aka well we’re fucked.

12:02 - what the fuck do you mean that there’s gonna be 2 servers for 4 sold outs

12:02:25 - what the fuck do you mean that all the servers on tonight have been here less than a month

12:04 - WHY IS THE BREAD GONE

12:05 - yo you need to actually cook the pepperoni not just toss it on the pizza, bro

12:25 - expo

12:25:45 - WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE GOING TO BE DOWNSTAIRS WORKING AN EVENT, KITCHEN MANAGER

12:45 - i found the bread

12:53 - Police looking for temp cook’s phone. 

1:09 - Brian quits

1:13 - I TOLD YOU WE WERE OUT OF SILVER.  WE’VE BEEN SAYING THAT FOR FOUR WEEKS WHERE IS THE ORDER WE WERE PROMISED

1:13:34 - oh new uniforms ok, are we going to have to do a runway for corporate like last time cause that was awkward (paid, but awkward)

2:14 - Brian quits again

2:26 - Who is your server?  Obi-Wan Kenobi? ok... so Brian.

2:30 - I am a server now serving is cool

3:20 - um

3:35 - y’all are a bunch of lushes, girls

3:36 - fight me helen, the popcorn is free

3:45 - WHY IS THERE A BROWNIE SUNDAE IN THE BOTTOM OF THE ICE CREAM FREEZER?  MYSTERY OF MYSTERIES.

4:00 - well it’s obvious I’m not taking a break now so fuck it, fuck you and I’ll do paperwork later lmao

4:01 - Brian quits again, just to emphasize how mad he is that he’s got 56 tables at one time in three different theaters and has virtually no support staff.  (He would have had 74, but I took 18 of them off his hands).

4:24 - you a big baller, lady, gettin water and free popcorn, i see you.  real high roller

4:32 - there goes my knee, exploding to space bits fucking ow

4:50 - give me money, humans, I have brought you alcohol and food.

5:00 - this ice cream is harder than granite

5:03 - there’s such thing as a 500% tip??????? holy shit.

5:10 - EVERYONE HAS PAID BUT YOU

5:15 - EVERYONE HAS PAIIIIIIIIIID CAN YOU PLEASE?

5:27 - oh sweet it’s my favorite customers ever holy crap, i love you guys

5:28 - i really love you guys i will treasure this brownie you have given me (for five minutes, let’s be real i didn’t have lunch, this will be dinner)

5:38 - FUCK OFF I HAVE PUNCHED OUT I AM LEAVING BYE FUCK THIS SHIT

and then I ran.  Ran like the wind for my car.

...ok it was more of a hasty hobbling limp, but you know what I mean.

[daddywarbats]

That feel when a customer tries to bribe you to let their underage sister in the 21+ section.

[daddywarbats]

Customer who stole radio (and is super stoned): *incomprehensible babble* And there will be changes, because the price of food is too high!

Manager: YOU'RE too high.

[daddywarbats]

At least PRETEND to act like you've been out in public before!

An extremely exasperated mother to her children and their friends at the movies.

[daddywarbats]

At the opera broadcast tonight....

Me: Ma'am, the feature is starting and you are blocking a fire stair. You need to find a seat.

Angry Old Lady: (loudly) THERE ARE NO SEATS. I CAN'T SIT UP FRONT, I WILL GET SICK.

Me: Ma'am, I understand, however this is a fire safety issue. These stairs must remain clear during the feature.

Lady Shush: SHH

Angry Old Lady: SO YOU ARE TELLING ME I HAVE TO LEAVE?

Me: That's not what i'm saying. I just said you can't stand in the fire stairs and you need to find a seat.

Angry Old Lady: I PAID FOR A TICKET AND THERE ARE NO SEATS. DO YOU WANT ME TO PUKE ALL OVER YOUR THEATER??

Lady Shush: Are you going to talk the whole feature?!

Angry Old Lady: IF THERE'S A FIRE I'LL BE THE FIRST ONE DOWN THE STAIRS SO IT'S FINE.

Me: Ma'am, you need to move. (To Lady Shush) I'm an usher, I'm taking care of it, she's blocking a safety exit.

Lady Shush: Oh, you're an usher! Thank goodness! This lady is being loud!

Angry Old Lady: I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!

[daddywarbats]

Got called in to work last night to close because only one person in my dept showed up. Forgot that I was also opening at 10 am this morning. Then, I get there and it's like "oh there's no dishwasher and lol no general admission closing ushers either." But hey, at least I got a free dinner out of it, right?