#ciri science

[dapandapod]

This is it

So! Ciri science! Last update was in 2023! I have been meaning to wrap this baby up for a good long while! This is it, darlings! You all have been with me for such a long time, and let me tell you how grateful I am for all of you! This is it!

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Ciri science and the idiot syndrome   On Ao3

Ciri:  *sitting in front of Yennefer who is doing her hair, pouting*  There are people kissing literally everywhere!

Eskel: Oh? What is this? The child faces the consequences of her actions?

Ciri: *glares and tosses hairpin at Eskel*   Can’t they kiss somewhere else? Where my *struggling to remember the phrase* fragile young impressivelymenably mind isn’t scarred?

Yennefer: Impressionable? Who else is kissing?

Ciri: Lambert and Aiden….

Eskel: Ew.

Ciri: Right?!

Yennefer: Have you ever seen married people kiss?

Ciri: *considers* *lights up*   SEE YOU LATER

Eskel: Evil. You are a very evil woman

Yennefer: I am literally making all of us a favour

Ciri: *from a distance* VESEMIIIIIR WHERE IS MY CLIPBOARD??

10 years later...

Ciri: *turns out married people kiss all the time* *Cerys has the prettiest lips*

Jaskier: Aww, look how cute they are together!

Geralt: *sniffling* *just barely holding it together* *holding on for dear life* *and by that, he is holding Jaskier's hand in a firm grip*

Jaskier's hand: *nice, well worn ring on his left hand ring finger*

Jaskier: *smiles knowingly* *brings Geralt's hand up to his lips* *kisses the back of his hand*

Jaskier: Remember when she was trying to get us together?

Geralt:  *oh he does* *menace child*  Hm.

Jaskier: Now that her wedding is done, you thing we should get some revenge?

Geralt: *slow smirk* *wicked glint in his eyes* *oh yes, it's time to dish out some sweet sweet vengance*

Geralt: I know where Yen keeps her old clipbord

Jaskier: This is why I married you

Lambert and Aiden from somewhere unkown: We're in

Eskel and Coën: Room for some more?

[dapandapod]

The make them stop mission

Long time no see, darlings! An update, after long last! I woke up with the mental picture of well, this. And now you are all subjected to it! Muahahaha!

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Ciri science and the idiot syndrome   On Ao3

Ciri: Lambert. Lambert I have a new mission.

 Lambert: Spill.

 Aiden: I am hurt and offended that I was not included.

 Ciri: New mission; make them stop kissing. Clearly this was a mistake

 Lambert: I thought you said this was your greatest success?

 Ciri: Oh they are still idiots. Even more so than usual, but all the do is kiss

 Aiden: Ew

 Ciri: Right?! 

 Lambert: You do realize that involves being around them though, don’t you?

 Aiden: EW!

 Ciri: RIGHT?! This is why I am involving you two.

 Aiden: By scarring our fragile young impressionable minds instead of yours?

 Ciri: *runs that sentence through her mind to figure out what impressionable means*     Yes.

 Aiden: I’m in

 Lambert: I’m out. I thought the pining was bad to witness, how is this worse?

 Aiden: Oooh, I know! We could outsnog them!

 Lambert: FANTASTIC idea! 

 Ciri: YOU ARE NO HELP!!

[dapandapod]

The birthday mission

This one is a little long but I think it will be worth it :)))))))

Ciri Science and the idiot syndrome       On Ao3

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Ciri:    …. Wait. I feel like we have forgotten something very important.

Ciri: *counts on her fingers*      Geralt, when is Jaskier’s birthday?

Geralt: *pales*  *however that is possible*   Shit.

Vesemir: Language.

Geralt: His birthday was the first day of the year.

Vesemir: Shit.

Ciri:  ……………….. We need to fix that.

Eskel: quickly, he is coming!

Ciri: shhh! hide!

Jaskier: *just a bard strolling into the main hall* *the keep is suspiciously empty* *and quiet*

Everbody:  HAPPY BIRTHDAAAYYY!!!

Jaskier: *jumps out of his damn skin* *holy friggin cows!!!* *ducklings!!*

Jaskier:  uh… I.. wow, thank you? But it is not my birthday?

Lambert: WE KNOW, GERALT FORGOT!!

Geralt: *mutters* Wow, way to throw someone in front of a wagon, buttwipe…

Aiden: SO WE ARE THROWING YOU A PARTY RIGHT NOW!

Ciri: I MADE A CAKE!

Jaskier: *instantly doesn’t trust cake* *but it is very pretty and very crooked*              You are too sweet, thank you all!

Jaskier: *actually a little teary eyed*  *did not expect someone to remember at all*

Jaskier: *blows out candles on cake* *mighty lungs he only needs one go*

Eskel: What did you wish for?

Jaskier: *blush*          Nothing special

Yennefer:  *evil smirk*  *she read his mind*  *bard wants a kiss*

Cake : *is actually tasty*  *thank you vesemir for saving it*  *everybody lives*

Lambert: Time for drinks!!!

Geralt:  And for cubs to go to bed.

Ciri: BOOOO!  *but is actually getting tired* *off to bed she goes*

A few bottles of wine and honey mead later, Vesemir is passed out in his chair, Eskel is singing and swinging from side to side with Aiden, and Lambert is looking at Jaskier like he is trying to figure out what he is hiding.

Lambert: *squint* *squinting is hard when you are drunk*       What are you hiding?

Jaskier: I wouhld.. woulhld. I would never!!

Aiden: *totally gets what Lambert is after*  *this is why they are married* *Wait are they married?* *a little, right?*

Aiden: So what did you wish for?

Jaskier: I am not hiding it! I just won’t tell you!

Yennefer: *not as bad off as the boys but a bit tipsy too*      I know!!

Jaskier: Witch!!

Yennefer: Thank you! Just for that, I will let tell them. Jaskier wished for a kiss!

Aiden: Aaw! You should have said! I’ll kiss you!!        *throws himself over bard and kisses his brow sloppily*

Lambert: Hey!! No me!! I can!!      *shoves Aiden away* *kisses bard on temple* *so much hair ew*

Eskel: Me too, me too!       *yanks Jaskier out of chair and peppers his face with stinky pecks*

Yennefer:  Not happening.

Geralt: *all quiet* *suspiciously so* *slowly gets up and moves Eskel out of the way*

Jaskier: *WAIT OH BOY OH BOY WHAT WAIT HELLO?!*

Geralt: *tips jaskier’s chin up* *not even looking at his eyes* *if he does, this won’t work*

Geralt: *leans in, closes his eyes, smooches the life out of the bard* *right on the lips*

Jaskier: *dfkdjfkjdkfjdfjkfkJFDKJFFD* *he is being kissed* *geralt is kissing him* *proper kissing him* *like, proper smooch* *don’t send help please never stop*

Lambert and Aiden: *hoots and applauds*

Geralt: *draws back, pats Jaskier’s cheek, backs off* *sits down in chair* *passes the fuck out*

Yennefer: I think you got your wish, bard       *smug smirk*

Jaskier:  *bluescreen bard noises*  

[dapandapod]

The make-them-talk-mission

I may or may not have spent a week reblogging some highlights of Ciri Science. Now we are caught up. Enjoy.

Oh, spoilers; Geralt is not good at talkning

On Ao3    Ciri Science and the idiot syndrome

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 Ciri: You always tell me to use my words.

Geralt: 

Ciri: Aren’t you supposed to lead by example?

Yen: I think she got you there, daddy-o.

Geralt: Please never call me that ever again.

Ciri: You should talk to him.

Geralt:

Ciri:

Geralt:

Ciri:

Yen: *rolling her eyes*  Or just hum at him until he understands. He always does.

Geralt: Hm.

Yen:    Good talk.    *leaves*

  Ciri: There he is! Just go up to him and just say it!

Geralt: *getting a peptalk from your child is very peculiar*

Ciri: Aren’t you like, a hundred years old?? You know how to talk!

Geralt: *like so peculiar*  *ugh not a hundred yet please don’t say that*

Ciri: JASKIER! GERALT WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!!!       *runs away* *hides behind a corner*

Geralt: *TRAITOR CHILD* *FUCKETIFUCK* *NO CANDY FOR HER*

Jaskier: Hm? What’s on your mind, dear?

Geralt:

Geralt:

Geralt:

Eskel, Lambert, Aiden: *hides behind the corner with ciri*  *is something finally happening??*

Geralt:       Fuck it.

 Geralt steps into Jaskier’s space, grabbing the sides of his face and pulling him in for a kiss.

A long kiss. Oh wait, more than one kiss. Oh look, the bard is melting.

 Ciri: *huge round eyes*   ….. That is not what I thought he would do.

Eskel: *covers Ciri’s eyes when the kiss just keeps going* 

Eskel: *lifts her up and carries her off when the kiss just keeps going*

Aiden: *lifts Lambert up and carries him off when the kiss just keeps going*

[dapandapod]

Broken bard noises

Because I had to

Ciri Science and the Idiot Syndrome     

On Ao3    Prev  -   Next

  Ciri: Did you have fun at your birthday party?

Jaskier: *kfdkfjfkjd* I’m making art

Ciri: …. yeah alright ok, this again

Jaskier: *ksjfkdjfk* I’m making art

  Yennefer: Hey, bard, can you help me with this?

Jaskier: *slkfjkljldjf* I’m making art

Yennefer: Ah. Still thinking about that kiss?

Jaskier: *KDJFKSJ*   I’M MAKING ART!

Yennefer: yes, yes, good bard. *pats his head*

  Ciri: Geralt, what did you do to the bard?

Geralt: I what?

Ciri: Jaskier is broken

Geralt: *suddenly memories return* *oh* *oh he did that, didn’t he*

Geralt: *LSKFLKJFD*       LFDKMLFLDKF.

Ciri:  *sigh*

Eskel: You broke the bard

Geralt: *lskdfldkfj* I’m chopping wood.

Eskel: Idiots, the both of you…….

[dapandapod]

The Roll Out Mission

Ciri Science and the Idiot Syndrome

Ao3      Prev -  Next

Jaskier: *leaning out through a window, looking at the world*

Jaskier’s trousers: *was made for showing off*

Yennefer: *from on top of the stairs* … And I need your help to fetch me that - GERALT!

Geralt: *making a dance number down those stairs he totally saw*

Geralt: *it is not tripping if you meant to do that*

Geralt: *lands at Jaskier’s feet* *looking up at surprised bard from the floor*

Jaskier: You alright, dear? 

Geralt: ………………………..

Geralt: ……………………….

Geralt: *rolls away* *just rolls sideways and out of sight*

Jaskier: …. I… What?

Yennefer: Still not ready to talk about that kiss, I see.

[dapandapod]

The reclaiming mission

Ciri science and the idiot syndrome      Ao3

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Jaskier: Has anyone seen my rings?

Geralt: Did you check the baths?

Jaskier: I did! And my dresser, and the kitchen. I can’t find them anywhere…

Jaskier: *pout* *the bard likes his rings*

Geralt: *weak* *weak weak weak weak*

Geralt: I’ll help.

 Geralt: Ciri, give back Jaskier’s rings.

Ciri: Aww, but I needed something silver to practice with.

Geralt: Borrow my dagger. Give them to me.

Ciri: *ohohoho he is eager isn’t he?*

Ciri: Alright. But only if you are the one putting them back

Geralt: *that was easy*    Fine?

Geralt: Found them!

Jaskier: *absolutely beams* *the smile on this man would outshine the stars*

Jaskier: Oh, Geralt, you are a right darling!!!

Geralt: Give me your hand. *jaskier reaches out hand palm up* *fuck ok here goes*

Jaskier: *why is he holding my hand* *oh heck oh ducklings oh help* *he is touching my fingers* *help* *help me he is putting my rings back on*

Geralt:   *tense witcher so tense witcher* *this is so friggin weird* *secret dream come true* *damnit don’t tell the bard*

Jaskier: *how did he know which ring goes where?!* *hhhh he is touching my fingers*

Geralt:  *kdksjfksfjfk* *no keep it together* *you are a big strong witcher* *there, done* Jaskier:                              *blush*

Geralt:                                *flush*

Geralt:                                *lets go of hand* Jaskier:   Uh.. thank you.

Geralt:   HMM.  *run away*

 Ciri:  Mission success. They are such idiots.

Lambert: Who are you talking to?

[dapandapod]

The spa day mission

Ciri science and the idiot syndrome       On Ao3

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Steam rises from the hot stones when Aiden pours more water on it. It hisses and fizzles and fills the room with mist. 

The inhabitants of Kaer Morhen are spread out around and in the pools, on rocks or just… laying across the floor.

Eskel: Has anyone seen the cucumbers?

Ciri: Aiden ate them. Said Lambert is scared of them.

Lambert: Am not!!

Aiden: Did not!!

Geralt: I literally saw you.

Eskel: Fine, what else do we have?

Ciri: Uuuh. Zucchini? 

Jaskier: I am not putting zucchini on my eyes. Why do we even have Zucchini? And how?

Yennefer: Who do you think I am? Now be a dear and fetch me some apple juice

Jaskier: Not again….

Eskel: I’ll go… *steps over Lambert*  *absolutely flashes Lambert*

Lambert: *UAEGH*      UEAEGH!!!

Ciri: *action time* *poke poke at Aiden* *poke poke his face*

Aiden: Ah? Oh, Geralt, looking a bit tense today?

Geralt: *totally tense from not watching the bard*       Hmm?

Ciri: *poke poke poke the bard* *come on, that’s your cue*

Jaskier: Hm? Oh! That’s no way to look on our spa day, Geralt! Here, let me help!

Geralt: *wait no wait hang on* *oh no Jaskier is touching him* *oh no help*

Jaskier: Geralt, you silly, you need to relax your shoulders

Yennefer: *cackles* *she doesn’t need to read his mind to know what is going on in there*

Ciri: What a relaxing day at the spa.

Geralt:  *kdfjkdjfj* *look* *it’s different when Geralt know Jaskier lov- * *kdflkdjlf*

Eskel: *returns triumphantly!*       Oh wow, Geralt, you are steaming more than the rocks do!

Geralt:  *skjdfj*   Shut up

Ciri: So relaxing!