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@dapandapod
My original masterlist went poof and took a vacation to outer space so here is a new one! I am TinyThoughts on Ao3, and you can find my writings on tumbler under #dapanda writes!
I mainly write witcher fics, but from time to time I have to sneak in other fandoms…
Prompts are open!
- Ciri Science and The Idiot Syndrome - the collection
Geraksier sketch c0mms from this latest twt batch
More Gerlion actually and what is it you say?? Curls. Yes. Curls pls
😌 curls it is! You meant it as a verb, right? We are going into adult territory here, but oh how they love each other!
Geralt nose along the poet’s smooth neck, kissing his way down to his shoulder. Beneath him Dandelion squirms, body shaping itself around Geralt’s hands, Geralt’s mouth, back arching, legs curling around the Witcher’s hips to beg him closer.
“You are so beautiful,” Dandelion gasps when he manages to dislodge Geralt’s lips from his skin, guiding a stray lock of hair from his face behind his Witcher’s ear.
“Only you,” Geralt murmurs back, leaning down and kissing Dandelion, molding himself against his body, angling his hips to offer his poet the sweet relief of friction as they move together. “Only you.”
i fucking hated your shoelaces this entire time
for the uninitiated
knock knock
who's there
deez
sigh
deez who ?
deez are the voyages of the starship enterprise
This is more inspirational than I think it was originally intended to be
"You have reached the world's edge. None but dragons live past this point."
This is it
So! Ciri science! Last update was in 2023! I have been meaning to wrap this baby up for a good long while! This is it, darlings! You all have been with me for such a long time, and let me tell you how grateful I am for all of you! This is it!
Prev
Ciri science and the idiot syndrome On Ao3
Ciri: *sitting in front of Yennefer who is doing her hair, pouting* There are people kissing literally everywhere!
Eskel: Oh? What is this? The child faces the consequences of her actions?
Ciri: *glares and tosses hairpin at Eskel* Can’t they kiss somewhere else? Where my *struggling to remember the phrase* fragile young impressivelymenably mind isn’t scarred?
Yennefer: Impressionable? Who else is kissing?
Ciri: Lambert and Aiden….
Eskel: Ew.
Ciri: Right?!
Yennefer: Have you ever seen married people kiss?
Ciri: *considers* *lights up* SEE YOU LATER
Eskel: Evil. You are a very evil woman
Yennefer: I am literally making all of us a favour
Ciri: *from a distance* VESEMIIIIIR WHERE IS MY CLIPBOARD??
10 years later...
Ciri: *turns out married people kiss all the time* *Cerys has the prettiest lips*
Jaskier: Aww, look how cute they are together!
Geralt: *sniffling* *just barely holding it together* *holding on for dear life* *and by that, he is holding Jaskier's hand in a firm grip*
Jaskier's hand: *nice, well worn ring on his left hand ring finger*
Jaskier: *smiles knowingly* *brings Geralt's hand up to his lips* *kisses the back of his hand*
Jaskier: Remember when she was trying to get us together?
Geralt: *oh he does* *menace child* Hm.
Jaskier: Now that her wedding is done, you thing we should get some revenge?
Geralt: *slow smirk* *wicked glint in his eyes* *oh yes, it's time to dish out some sweet sweet vengance*
Geralt: I know where Yen keeps her old clipbord
Jaskier: This is why I married you
Lambert and Aiden from somewhere unkown: We're in
Eskel and Coën: Room for some more?
The make-them-talk-mission
I may or may not have spent a week reblogging some highlights of Ciri Science. Now we are caught up. Enjoy.
Oh, spoilers; Geralt is not good at talkning
On Ao3 Ciri Science and the idiot syndrome
PREV NEXT
Ciri: You always tell me to use my words.
Geralt:
Ciri: Aren’t you supposed to lead by example?
Yen: I think she got you there, daddy-o.
Geralt: Please never call me that ever again.
Ciri: You should talk to him.
Geralt:
Ciri:
Geralt:
Ciri:
Yen: *rolling her eyes* Or just hum at him until he understands. He always does.
Geralt: Hm.
Yen: Good talk. *leaves*
Ciri: There he is! Just go up to him and just say it!
Geralt: *getting a peptalk from your child is very peculiar*
Ciri: Aren’t you like, a hundred years old?? You know how to talk!
Geralt: *like so peculiar* *ugh not a hundred yet please don’t say that*
Ciri: JASKIER! GERALT WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!!! *runs away* *hides behind a corner*
Geralt: *TRAITOR CHILD* *FUCKETIFUCK* *NO CANDY FOR HER*
Jaskier: Hm? What’s on your mind, dear?
Geralt:
Geralt:
Geralt:
Eskel, Lambert, Aiden: *hides behind the corner with ciri* *is something finally happening??*
Geralt: Fuck it.
Geralt steps into Jaskier’s space, grabbing the sides of his face and pulling him in for a kiss.
A long kiss. Oh wait, more than one kiss. Oh look, the bard is melting.
Ciri: *huge round eyes* ….. That is not what I thought he would do.
Eskel: *covers Ciri’s eyes when the kiss just keeps going*
Eskel: *lifts her up and carries her off when the kiss just keeps going*
Aiden: *lifts Lambert up and carries him off when the kiss just keeps going*
The Roll Out Mission
Ciri Science and the Idiot Syndrome
Ao3 Prev - Next
Jaskier: *leaning out through a window, looking at the world*
Jaskier’s trousers: *was made for showing off*
Yennefer: *from on top of the stairs* … And I need your help to fetch me that - GERALT!
Geralt: *making a dance number down those stairs he totally saw*
Geralt: *it is not tripping if you meant to do that*
Geralt: *lands at Jaskier’s feet* *looking up at surprised bard from the floor*
Jaskier: You alright, dear?
Geralt: ………………………..
Geralt: ……………………….
Geralt: *rolls away* *just rolls sideways and out of sight*
Jaskier: …. I… What?
Yennefer: Still not ready to talk about that kiss, I see.
The Tiny Roach Mission
Ciri science and the idiot syndrome
On Ao3
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Geralt: Ciri. Why is Roach–
Ciri: IT WASN’T ME! IT REALLY WASN’T! TOTALLY INNOCENT!!! ASK JASKIER!!!
Jaskier: WHAT!! NO, I WOULD NEVER SHRINK THE HORSE! HOW DARE YOU!
Geralt: I never said–
Jaskier: I DIDN’T DO IT! HOW COULD I POSSIBLY MAKE ROACH TINY AS A PUPPY!!! I HAVE NO WAY! ASK LAMBERT!
Lambert: WHAT!! NO!! I WOULD NEVER MAKE ROACH SMALLER THAN LIL’ BLEATER!
Aiden: WHY ARE WE SCREAMING!!!
Ciri: ROACH IS SMALL AND GERALT THINKS YOU DID IT!!
Aiden: WHAT!!! SIR, HOW DARE YOU!
Geralt: *sigh* I’ll ask Yen…..
Ciri, Jaskier, Lambert and Aiden: NO!!!!
The hold-his-hand mission
Ciri Science and the Idiot Syndrome on Ao3
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Jaskier: ok just stick to the plan, stick to the plan, you can do it. *shaking his hands out nervously* You got this Jaskier.
Geralt: *of course he notices* *but how does one talk to a bard these days * *because Jaskier lov–* *IDBDGSBDB* *nope. nope.*
Geralt: You alright Jaskier?
Geralt: *see? You can do it* *good boy Geralt*
Jaskier: *oh Melitele he is talking to me* *ok shit here we go alright*
Jaskier: Ah. Geralt. I need your help, actually.
Jaskier: *im doing it im doing it im doing it im doing it*
Geralt: With what? *why does my bard look so worried?* *did I say my?* *i meant the bard* *the* *flustered witcher*
Jaskier: Would you hold up your hand? I made a bet with Ciri who has the biggest hands.
Jaskier: *jsjfsjjfj* *how did I deliver that line without hestitation* *who am I?*
Geralt holds up his hand. Jaskier fits his hand against Geralts hand. Geralts hand is just a little bigger, his fingers just a little longer. Jaskier lace their fingers together.
Geralt: *FREEZES*
Jaskier: *FREEZES*
Geralt:
Jaskier:
Geralt:
Jaskier:
Geralt:
Jaskier:
Jaskier: *geralt isn’t pulling back* *why isn’t he pulling back* *ah fuck ah fuck ah fuck*
Geralt: *jaskier isn’t pulling back* *why isn’t he pulling back* *ah fuck ah fuck ah fuck*
Jaskier: *what is he even looking at* *oh no wait no* *our eyes met* *ah shit ah shit*
Geralt: *bard is looking at me* *bard is looking at me and holding my hand* *ksfjfjf* *JSFKNKAFJN*
Jaskier: *intense eyecontact* *is this what a heartattack feels like?* *never letting go of this hand* *ever*
Geralt: *skaddj* *LAJLAJKFA*
Ciri: *hidden in Vesemirs office with spy glasses* *shaking her head* They are such idiots. And it works.
Vesemir: Why is Eskel wrestling Aiden and Lambert while full sobbing?
Ciri: Because he is weak. Hand me my clipboard.
Vesemir: *hands her the clipboard* *is this respect or fear?*
Tell-her-no-mission
Ciri Science and the idiot syndrome On Ao3
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Eskel: You know you can tell Ciri no, right?
Jaskier: …. I know.
Eskel: You don’t have to do everything she asks.
Jaskier: …… I know.
Eskel: Jaskier, look me in the eyes and tell me you will tell her no.
Jaskier: ….. *at least he looks Eskel in the eyes* *point for bard, right?* I will tell her no.
Eskel: Good. Now look at the child and tell her no.
Jaskier: *looks at the child* *don’t look at the child, shit* *she is making that face ™ again*
Ciri: *making that face ™ * *most pleading face with threats behind it* *it’s terrifying*
Jaskier: ……nnnnnnnnnnnNo.
Ciri: FUCk. Fine.
Eskel: Language!
Jaskier: *almost died* *this was a near death experience* *he feels like he has grown*
Ciri: But then you will have to hold his hand instead! Like, properly lace your fingers together!
Jaskier: *DEAD* *YEP THIS IS A DEAD BARD WALKING* *DEAD BARD NOISES*
Jaskier: HOW and WHY and HOW and HOW do you expect me to get away with that!?
Eskel: Tell her no!!!
Ciri: Shut up!!
Eskel: *hurt Eskel noises* *is this child turning into a teenager?!* *why does the child hate him?!* *is this his life now?*
Ciri: You, go hold a witcher hand *points at Jaskier very threateningly* and YOU *points at sad and hurt and upset Eskel* will go distract Aiden and keep Lambert from finding the rest of his pants.
Eskel: *sad eskel noises* But….–
Ciri: – Now.
Vesemir, from a distance: Wow.
Yennefer: *wiping proud tears from her eyes* I know. She is incredible.
The evil mission
:))))))))) Ciri science time
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Ciri: Geralt! GERALT! Emergency!
Geralt: What?! What is it, child?! *drawing sword* *doing signs* *he is so ready*
Ciri: Help me! Hurry up! *runs quickly down a corridor*
Geralt: *full of confusion* *runs after anyway* *like a ninja though*
Ciri: In here! In Jaskiers room!
Geralt: *skids to a halt* *SUSPICIOUS* *WHAT DOES THE CHILD KNOW?* Hmm.
Ciri: Hurry! Before he gets here! It’s important!
Geralt: Hmm. *that means fine* *puts away three knives and takes off his brass knuckles*
Ciri: On the top of the shelf? Do you see it?! *yes she still make sit sound urgent* *because*
Geralt: Is that a cookie jar? Are we stealing Jaskiers cookies? You know he protects those with his life?
Ciri: Yes and yes! Now please please please give it here!
Geralt: Alright *today child is going to learn the consequences of her actions* *unleash the bards fury*
Ciri: OH NO HE IS COMING! HIDE!! *shoves Geralt and cookie jar into the closet* *slams them shut*
Jaskier: … uh….. Hello Ciri?
Ciri: *leans against the closet doors* *you know, like when you are trying to hide something by looking like you are not hiding something* Hi!
Jaskier: Can I… help you?
Ciri: YES! Yes you can! I need to ask you something.
Geralt: *inside the closet* *oh shit* *
Jaskier: *outside the closet* *oh shit*
Jaskier: Ask away.
Ciri: Are you in love with Geralt?
Jaskier: kjdfahfk CIRI! *yes he did a verbal keyboard smash* *it’s called indignant bard noises* *this is how it’s pronounced*
Geralt: *LKJFDKHSF CIRI!!!* *this is upset and dying witcher noises* *but on the inside* *because he is hiding and NOT about to walk out now thank you very much!*
Ciri: But you always look at him with those eyes! And you always touch him. And say nice things to him. And hug him. And you got jealous when Aiden sat in his lap. And you almost passed out when Geralt said-
Jaskier: Alright I get it! *blushing big time* *dragging a hand over his face* *uugh shit a child found him out but not the man of his affections* *embarrassing*
Geralt: *fuck o fuck o fuck o fuck o fuck o fuck o fuck o fuck*
Ciri: So?
Jaskier: ……………………………………………………………………… Yes.
Ciri: *smiles sweetly* Wanna know a secret?
Geralt: *OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT*
Jaskier: *does not trust this child* *at all* What?
Ciri: Geralt is trying to steal your cookies. He is in the closet right now.
Jaskier: HE WHAT!
Geralt: TRAITOR! *zooms out the room with cookie jar under his arm*
Jaskier: My… my cookies.
Ciri: Yes, focus on the cookies. Good night Jaskier :)
Ciri science and the Idiot Syndrome
On Ao3
The truth teller mission
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Geralt: Practice you say?
Ciri: Mhm. Yennefer told me to ask for victi- uh. Volunteers. It’s important for my learning.
Geralt: Hmm.
Ciri: *puppy eye on max* Pleeaaaseee?
Geralt: *weak* *he is weak* *puppy eyes is hitting home* Hmmm. Fine.
Ciri: *squeeks* Ooooh thankyou thanyou thankyou!
Some time later…
Eskel: ….. What are you two up to?
Geralt: I was a frog.
Eskel: ….. Ooooook?
Geralt: I was really small. And green.
Eskel: Ciri, what did you do to him?
Ciri: He agreed to let me practice my spells on him.
Eskel: So what spell is he under now?
Geralt: I’m telling the truth. It is really mortifying.
Ciri: Don’t give me that look! It’s the last one on the list Yennefer gave me, and I know how to undo it.
Eskel: Mmmhmmm. Just uh… just don’t let Jaskier come in here.
Jaskier: *of couse he appears* *because that is how this works* Why not?
Ciri: *she hoped for this* *she did not plan it* *but if this goes well she will take credit*
Geralt: Because I am under a truth spell and there are things that I think that I do not wish to say to you.
Jaskier: …..
Ciri: …..
Eskel: …..
Geralt: I think I might be blushing.
Jaskier: Yes you are, dear.
Geralt: When you say ’dear’, my head gets really fuzzy.
Eskel: OK THAT’S ENOUGH JASKIER COME LET’S GO FOR A WALK.
Jaskier: *dying a little* *oh my, really??* *Geralt just said that?!* *slightly stunned* Good idea, I might need some air….
Geralt: The mortification is back.
Mission Report, later:
Ciri: I’m glad to report that Jaskier did indeed walk in on my homework, but sadly so did Eskel.
Yen: Darn it. I hope there was some success anyway?
Ciri: Limited, yes. Geralt confessed that he didn’t want to confess and Jaskier has been hyperventilating since.
Yen: Oooh, that’s what he’s been doing. I wonder if we should have him tell the truth next time?
Ciri: I have something else in mind *evil child smirk*
Ciri and the Idiot Syndrome
On Ao3
Hey, Idiot syndrome™ anon here!How are you doing dear?We've been blessed with new Jaskier content (this man,I swear) and a lot of detailed pics of his ✨h a n d s✨ and I was thinking It may be good stuff for Ciri's testing(or a whole fic to be honest)cause the way Geralt's stare lingers on the Bard's hands when he speaks or sings and dramatically moves his hands..you know,he just can't help it,when Jaskier plays with his ring the witcher just feels things he won't confess (cont)
(cont'd) And you write so beautifully, it would be amazing to have your thoughts on this Hands situation I hope you're doing well Lots lots lots of love xx
Hello Lovely?? Honestly I’m kind of in a writing dry patch, having so much to do at work for the moment. And here you come along and have SUCH great ideas! Thank you dearest, for you I did a little something!
Yes, I have been in a state of bliss since those pictures appeared, H A N D S. I am Geralt in this one. Im a sucker for his hands. Thank you for writing to me, it was just what I needed 💛 💛 💛
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Ciri has noticed something. Geralt spends a lot of time looking at Jaskiers hand. Like, a lot. When Jaskier plucks the strings, fiddling with his rings, gesturing. Ciri sees all.
And she is going to use it.
Ciri: *climbs into Geralts lap*
Geralt: *this is a trap* *this is how my child sets a trap* *I know what happened last time*
Ciri: *you are absolutely right* *and you are weak to my will* *and for the bard*
Ciri: Jaskier, may I borrow your hand? I wish to look at your ring.
Jaskier: *gives Ciri his hand* *he is actually really fond of his rings* Which one, little cub?
Geralt: *damn this bard got pretty hands* *look at those fingers* *so long and graceful*
Ciri: *fiddles with the one on his ring finger* All of them. They are very pretty.
Jaskier: *smiles* That one I got from my countess
Geralt: *tenses up* *hmmm* Hmm.
Jaskier: *knows the hmms* *that was not a good hmm* And this one I won from a dwarf in a dice game.
Ciri: Which hand would a wedding ring go on? Do bards even marry?
Geralt: *I FUCKIN KNEW IT* *I DON’T KNOW WHY BUT THIS IS A TRAP SOMEHOW* *MY WITCHER SENSE IS TINGLING*
Jaskier: Aah… I suppose it depends on the tradition, but in my family it’s on the left. And some do, I suppose.
Ciri: *immediately reaches for his left hand* You have no rings on your fourth finger.
Jaskier: *aah fuck* Uhm, no I don’t.
Geralt: *why am I freaking out* *what is my heart doing?* *damn look at his hands*
Ciri: Are you saving that place for someone special?
Jaskier: *looking at his hand like his life depended on it* *nowhere else at all, no sir*
Jaskier: Hmm. *Hmm is a very underrated word actually* Just didn’t find one that felt right.
Geralt: *Is he saving that finger for someone?!* *Why didn’t he say something* *wait what is this feeling Im having*
Ciri: *keeps looking and asking about rings* *pretending that her boys just didn’t have a freakout each*
Eskel, Aiden, Lambert: *spoons halfway to their mouths* *well this is kind of awkward* *It’s like we are not even here*
Ciri and the Idiot Syndrome
Ao3
Love you <3
The Goodnight-kiss-mission
Ciri Science and the Idiot Syndrome Ao3
Prev - Next
Yen finally began the teachings of chaos. It is exhausting and dangerous but Ciri loves it. Because Ciri is a clever girl, she used this to make Geralt and Jaskier put her to bed. She is a princess, after all.
Geralt puts away her boots and Jaskier sits next to her on the bed.
Ciri: Geralt. You forgot something.
Geralt: What?
Ciri: Good night kisses!
Geralt: *aaww* *please never grow up* *melts so hard* *gives her a soft smooch right on the forehead*
Ciri: *pretending that she is pretending to like it* *because growing up is complicated* *and she is actually really tired*
Ciri: Don’t forget Jaskier.
Jaskier: *wait* *wait what* *fuck* *whips around to stare at her innocent face* *mouth open* *you little terror you* *what will I do if he kisses my forehead?!*
Geralt: *I can say no* *I CAN say no* *I am a big witcher and I can tell my child no* *why isn’t Jaskier telling her no?!* *shit Im doing it*
Smooch.
Geralt: GOODNIGHT!!!!!! *leaves* *he is so red* *you thought you had seen blushing and flushing before*
Jaskier: *stunned* *Geralt kissed his forehead* *he died and went to the afterlife, didn’t he*
Ciri: *hums and scribbles* Mission success. Both subjects responding as predicted. Proceed with care.
Jaskier: Excuse me?
Ciri: Uh.. Good night Jaskier!
