It's match day in Manchester and Bazza, Gazza, Fucko and Lee 'Ed are out on the lash. Barry has a wife and children but, as its match day, and he's had a bev, he's treating himself to some top-notch banter with the lads. OI OI, he exclaims, tripping over a kerb as he jogs behind me, DO YOU WANT TO GET UNDER MY UMBRELLA? COME IN HERE WHERE IT'S WARM! Fucko has been rubbing his brain cells together in anticipation all day and manages his bestest cleverest words: EY GIRL! I'LL KEEP YOU WARM! He's used up all of his thinking energy so that will be the last words he utters all week, but it was worth it. Bazza has decided I'm not that fit anyway, and he tells his best pal Gazza all about it. Gazza's got a RIGHT bounce on and he's got a can in his hand and the women at his feet and he's just dishing out one liners like James Fucking Bond. Lee' Ed has found a man and his wife to talk to, he's asking them where the Ethiad Stadium is and he. is. pissing himself. at the man who's earnestly giving him directions. The Ethiad isn't anywhere near here, silly fucking bastard, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA they all laugh. There's some vomit on the floor where some homeless people are trying to sleep and there are tribes of men shouting football chants and it's raining a very cold rain and all the busses keep saying not in service.