The race
warning: angst (like a lot), expressing emotions by anger (it’s sabine), injury (nothing serious)
disclaimer: gn!reader
word count: 1770
hello! i don’t know what has tempted me to write something so angsty, but anyway, it is here and i can’t really do anything about it now. also I am uploading this on the new year’s eve- so happy new year! i hope you’ll be happy and healthy in the new year.
and now, without further ado, please enjoy.
(also sorry for the basic title i have no idea how to name this)
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The adrenaline zapped against your skin, heart stammering in your chest, the wind whistling by. This was what you loved the most- the thrill of the race. The blood pumping, eyes watering feeling coursing through your whole body. Your rival was ahead, but you were quickly gaining on her. Maybe today was finally the day you’ll beat her.
So, you spurred your horse once again, preparing to run up the Jarlaheim castle wall. In a couple long strides you made it up and just as you turned to cut the corner H/N tripped under you and suddenly, the world went dark.
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You weren’t coming. Sabine has been waiting for you for some time already, but you were nowhere in sight. She was getting impatient. She shouldn’t wait for anyone, let alone you! Maybe you really were so incompetent that you just couldn’t keep up with her. Maybe you got scared and bailed.
No.
Sabine knew you weren't like that. And until today you were always able to keep at her heels. You were so righteous and propper you wouldn’t just run away. Against her better judgement, Sabine knew you and she knew that you would fight until your last breath. You wouldn’t give up.
So, now the seed of worry gnaws at the pit of her stomach. What if something happened? What if something happened to you? She despised herself for that. You are the enemy, she shouldn't feel bad for you! To be honest, she shouldn’t feel anything for you. Yet here we are.
With pretended complaining she checked her saddle and then hoped on Khaan. In a flash she was off.
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Sabine found you quickly ofcourse. She is always quick. You were sitting on the Jarlaheim walls, inspecting your leg, a pained expression on your face. You were injured. Sabine could see your horse standing near. The animal didn’t know what to do. Go help you, look ashamed, or protect you against the intruder. In the end, it didn’t do anything.
Sabine got of Khaan, who snorted angrily. What are you doing? He asked in Sabines’ mind. She ignored him. It’s none of his business.
“What happened?” Sabine asked finally, while walking towards you.
“It’s nothing, really. Just a bad fall.” Meanwhile Sabine squatted before you, taking your foot in her hands. “I think it’s just a bit bruised.”
Sabine didn’t believe any of it. After all, she knew you and how stubborn you can be.
“Have you tried walking on it?” Sabine asked, moving your leg gently from side to side.
“No, not yet.”
“Do you want to try?” the softness of her voice surprised her, surprised both of you. Sabine didn’t know she was capable of being so gentle.
You shook your head and said: “Yes, I think I’ll try.”
Sabine helped you stand up, her strong arms around you, not really touching you but close enough to catch you if you fell. While supporting yourself on the walls’ edge, you stepped on your injured leg.
Sabine saw the way your face distorted with pain. You yelped, lost your balance and started falling. But she was quick and her arms eveloped you before you could fall. You were so close, she could smell your perfume. She could feel the magic emanating from you, the power.
You hissed in pain, your breath fanning over her cheek so softly. And then you opened your eyes.
You shined. Your eyes held galaxies and Sabine couldn’t look away. You were so beautiful, so full of life and all things right in the world. She inclined even closer, hands tightening on your smaller frame. Her eyes darted to your lips. She could only hear the blood pumping in her ears. Sabine felt the way she felt after an exciting race. A race against you. So she came closer and closer and…
You shouldn't be doing this. Khaan said in her head. With that, Sabine withdrew, looking around, just so she didn’t have to look at you.
“We should go. Your friends at the stables can help you bandage it.” Sabine decided, she tried to sound stern, but it came out cold more than anything. Well, that's the way it is supposed to be. She can’t feel anything for you.
She moved away from you, letting you lean back against the wall, and turned her back to you, pretending to check Khaans saddle.
“Sabine, I don’t think I’ll be able to ride on my own.” You said quietly. Your gentle voice gave her a whiplash. She shouldn't, but she turned around anyway. She seemed to do a lot of things against her better judgement for you. Sabine's heart was loud in her ears and full of… what? Anxiety?
“Well, I suppose I could help you.” Sabine stammered out, trying to sound cold and cool and withdrawn. “Or call one of your goodie friends, you love so much” She added quickly. How could she keep her composure, when you looked so wonderful.
You smiled a small, almost shy, smile. “It’s fine. You can carry me.”
At that Sabine flushed even more (If it was even possible). Were you flirting? Were you just making fun of her? What does that mean?
With a grunt, of what she hoped sounded like annoyance, she came closer to you. Sabine bent down, one hand behind your lower back, the other behind your knees and hoisted you up against her chest. You yelped, but she felt how quickly you relaxed against her. Was that her heartbeat or yours?
Sabine whistled at Khaan, the horse lifted his head and leisurely trotted to you, your own horse following. She watched you as you smiled sadly and gently patted your horse on the nose. “It’s not your fault.” you said and Sabine couldn’t believe it was you with whom her stupid heart decided to fall in love with.
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“So, where are your friends?” Sabine asked as she carried you through the main gait of the stables. She tried to not pay attention to the way you snuggled up to her. Why does she feel this way towards her enemy? It’s so wrong, but it feels so right. Like this is the place she should be… she should be next to you. With you.
It’s been so nice putting your feud behind you for a while, no Garnok, no magic, just racing. But she knows it won't be possible to continue.
So, as the sun sets over the horizon and paints your hair shiny and gold, she carries you into the, now deserted, barn and sets you on a stack of hay.
“I don’t know where they are. I thought they would be here somewhere.” you answered. Some people were still outside, but none of them were you fellow star riders. But maybe it was for the best, what would they say if they’d seen you with the enemy. It definitely wouldn't be positive.
“Incompetent fools.” Sabine scoffed. “I’ll take care of it.” She really wanted it to sound like she doesn't care, but of course failed miserably.
“So you’ll help me?” you asked.
“But don’t think you can lure me into some sort of trap. I’m not so stupid as to let myself get caught.” Sabine is aware of getting more and more tangled in the web of feelings. Feeling for you no less. But she also knows she will let herself be devoured by you eventually. She is too far gone.
“The medical kit is in the closet right there.” you pointed your finger at an old wooden closet. Sabine complied without any protests.
The inside was mouldy and smelled like old riding boots, but soon enough, she found a green bag with a white cross on it. Sabine took the whole bag with her. “You should keep your medical stuff somewhere less… old.” she scrunched her nose.
You laughed at that and it was the sound of her dreams. Oh, she was drowning and there was no hope of saving her. “Ok, I’ll let Herman know.”
With that, Sabine carefully took off your boot and sock, examining your ankle. It wasn’t swollen and she could move it easily, so most likely, your injury wasn’t serious. Still, she aligned your ankle straight and began wrapping it in gauze.
“You should be fine, but go to a doctor to be sure.” she said, while tying the final knot, to secure her work.
“Yes, I'll do that.” you answered. “Why did you help me?” you finally asked. The question that was plaguing both of your minds. The shadow of confrontation hanging above.
“If you get hurt, how can I get better?” Sabine said. It wasn’t a lie, but not the whole truth either. No one shall ever know the whole truth.
“Is that the only reason?” you continued anyway, ignoring Sabines inner turmoil. Sabine didn’t know if she wanted to kiss you, or run away.
At first Sabine didn’t answer, but as much as she tried to prepare what to say, it was pointless, you didn’t give her the time. You leaned forward and so gently, like the caress of spiderwebs, kissed her.
Sabine exhaled through her nose. She didn’t know if what she felt was relief, or want, or utter despair. But it didn’t matter, for the only way her emotions ever manifested was anger. She knew it and she didn’t try to stop it.
Sabine shoved you away from her, digging her fingers into your shoulders. “If you ever try that again-” she warned, angry and sad. But she couldn’t finish that sentence. What would she do? Sabine knows she is powerless against you. She wouldn’t do anything, even though she ought to.
“But-” you tried.
“I can't feel anything for you!” she said, her eyes aflame. “We both know it and it shall stay that way. You are my enemy and I hate more than anything in this world. If you ever try to manipulate me again, I will not hold back.” she was panting by the end, red and furious. At you, at herself, at everything.
But with that she straightened up to her full height, adjusted her vest and turned away from you. “Sabine.” you tried to say, but it came out in a sob.
Sabine was done, broken and boiling on the inside, but she didn’t turn around, she didn’t dry your tears. She couldn’t and you both knew that. You are destined to be alone, you are destined for hatred. And so she walked away from you, back to her side, back to her darkness, leaving you alone in the light.
