#clarifying

[ley-med]

Welp. Things get weird with the anesthesia department from time to time. Today a patient, left unsupervised for 5 whole minutes in their surgical ward, chewed their central line out...

[ton618]

did i ruin the day

[nerogore]

seeing yourself in the ‘dni list’ of someone who just followed you and wondering how long it will take for them to block you feels like being failed starcrossed soulmates. it is with a heavy heart i accept your hatred in due time. purge me. of the sort

[madokaspaws]

Smol announcement

I've noticed a few radqueer blogs following me, and to be clear, this blog is not the place for that. I don't hate radqueers, I'm don't like, want you to die or anything, if you're radqueer and that isn't what your blog is about, that's perfectly fine. I just don't want to see it, don't want to be involved in it. As long as you aren't pro-c towards anything like animals, children, or other nonconsenting individuals, you're fine to interact.

Simply put, I used to be radqueer, and based on long, hard research into my personal experience with the community, as well as just it's general function, I have reason to believe that it is a predator cult. If this offends you, block me. Don't try to fight me about it, it'll just trigger me for no reason when you can easily walk away.

If you are an adult who publicly identifies as radqueer or as a MAP, do not interact with me. If you are a minor who in any way feels victimized by the radqueer community, you are still welcome to interact regardless of what your blog looks like. If you don't want to get blocked, DM me about your situation, I'm willing to help.

And for the kids like me who think that's the only community that will accept you, they're lying. You can leave. You don't have to accept predators to be loved. Atypical dysphoria is real and does not make you evil, paraphilic disorders do not make you evil, it is completely normal to feel attracted to older people as a minor, it is not normal for adults to tell you you can consent, it is not normal for adults to involve minors in anything sexual. Even if you feel like you can consent, even if they say it's love, you can't, and it's not. My DMs are open to anyone who is a victim of this community, or anyone who wants to leave and is scared to. I know how it feels. There is safety elsewhere. I love you.

[spr1nkleofhope]

agoraphobia ableism

small rant. like. heavily.

The only reason I'm answering this is because I think it's genuinely harmful and stereotypical to think agoraphobia means you can't leave your house.

Agoraphobia at its basis is paranoia about not having familiarity around you and the intense anxiety that something bad will happen to you that you can't escape from if you're not somewhere that you're familiar and comfortable with.

My job included being around people I always knew, having my phone on me at all times (my familiarity and safety from danger) and was in areas with constant surveillance because we did our events outside of established public businesses. Because of the trauma of my abusive ex and the additional trauma of the car crash I had in September as the passenger, I find genuine anxiety and severely deep fear going somewhere I'm not familiar with or have people I know. I can never leave my house without my phone even to go and get the mail, because the idea of something bad happening to me outside of my own home even just on the sidewalk is enough to paralyze me if I don't have enough charge in my phone.

Agoraphobia is an intense and genuinely debilitating disorder. I don't like that I'm inside all the time but I also know that at the end of the day I prefer the safety. In very extreme cases of agoraphobia the only safety someone feels they have is their own home.

For me, it's if people that I don't have around me aren't near me, or if I don't have communication with something that can get me an emergency service. I was trapped In held hostage in an apartment for a week while being assaulted daily, at times multiple times a day. And at one point I was trapped in a car with him without any help and at one point he had threatened to lock me in the car while we were in the middle of New Orleans where I had no idea where we were while he had control of my phone.

The doctors explained that I was a conditioned over that course of time as little as it was to fear my environment around me to an extreme degree unless I feel there are safety nets around me.

For the first two to three months I was so paranoid about leaving my house because my friends told me they're not sure what he's capable of. Even to this day the police telling never go outside by myself at night because of all of the anonymous messages I've gotten.

It's extremely stereotypical and even ableist to say that agoraphobia means that because you leave your house means you're not agoraphobic, or because you do things that aren't near your house all the time. I'm gonna just assume that you're not educated on the subject enough because even I wasn't educated enough to understand it until I was diagnosed. I refuse to sit in a car unless it's locked.

And especially after the car crash I refuse to get in a car for longer than a very short amount of time unless it's with someone I very explicitly trust, because I was the passenger in the car crash. Even when with someone I trust if we suddenly pause the car abruptly or hit a red light or a stop sign or something I get an immediate panic attack. Agoraphobia comes in many forms.

There's no denying that there's extreme cases where you can never leave your house because of how strong your agoraphobia is But that isn't the only thing that it manifests as or shows itself as as far as symptoms. So long as I feel like I have my phone or someone near me that's familiar then I feel safe, and even then sometimes it gets so bad that day that I don't feel comfortable enough leaving my home. It depends on how I'm feeling that day with my anxiety and paranoia.

I've genuinely turned down social gatherings and meeting up with friends and doing things this year because of how bad it's been. I would make excuses because I just feel like safer in my own home sleeping or watching a movie or being with my partner and friends online or just drawing on my tablet that night, because there's a voice in the back of my brain saying maybe something bad could happen to you that you can't control. Maybe someone could hurt you. And the reason that brain goes there is because there's people in that event I haven't met. And I was very violently harassed online that day abt people finding my address. Or that week. You don't know what people are going through and how it affects them. Please don't assume a mental health disorder so bad as agoraphobia that you know what it actually is.

[oops-i-guess-i-did-a-full-180]

im prolly going to get a lot of shit for this

but i do like the fact that morgan and karadec are just friends.

i really do. i can see where this will most prbably go but i like them being friends. morgan genuinely looks happy for karadec and lucia. let us not talk abt the captain though although i do like him characterwise and storywise but i have this uncanny valley feeling with him.

[y2kbeautyandother2000sstuff]

Suave Daily Clarifying Shampoo

late 1990s

Found on Ebay, seller exc773