Doka/Loki

This alien eats fascists Rated 16+ because I talk about sex and politics AOUGH

[madokaspaws]

Addressing the Allegations (Mentally ill)

Hello my dear readers, I'm here to talk about my problems and update you all on what has happened since my public breakdown + why it happened in the first place and what I'm doing to stop something like that from happening again. Might be TMI but this blog is also #mydiary so I'm not sorry LMAO.

I can't recall too much what my original post was talking about because it is now deleted off the face of my blog and as far as I know not archived anywhere, but the gist was I was just screaming at the world about how much of a lying ass bitch I am and how I don't deserve love and I want to kill myself. So. That's that.

First of all, I wasn't actually lying? Everything I said about myself was everything I thought I knew, unfortunately. I really thought I was a lot more freaky about my identity than I actually am, and there ain't nothin' wrong with that. I framed it as "I WAS LYING TO ALL OF YOU" because I wanted to make myself sound as evil as I possibly could because I wanted everyone to hate me. I also to some degree genuinely thought I was lying, because in that moment I felt like I had been lying to myself.

Another thing I "lied about" was being a ~freak~ with the tildes. Just recently, I found out I am aegosexual, which explains SO MUCH about why I felt so confused about sex for so long. I felt like a ~freak~ because I was in to ~freaky~ stuff. I'm kinky, I like to read nasty shit on AO3, I want to fuck a symbiote SO BAD, but I also kinda... hate sex. And that was really confusing for me. Now we know, I'm just so dissociated from myself that I can't do sex. Which sucks because it's great in theory. I also still fully identify as demirose, I've only ever properly been attracted to my life partner. I'm also deciding to use the label aroace for myself moving forward.

I am once again transitioning, wow! I'm dropping the neopronouns (much to my despair, believe me, I love neopronouns) and am now using exclusively he/him for the foreseeable future. I am a man. A transgender, occasionally gender-non-conforming man. Don't worry though, my xenogenders are still my babies and still me. I am, forever, pokemongender. RAHHH Adding onto that, I'm fully planning on medically transitioning right now. Testosterone is very high priority for me at the moment, but I have no money, so it'll probably be a second.

My mom apologized. My dad is trying. My brother will get a better life than I did. I'm so glad. I'm so glad.

I get to take my favorite cat with me when I move out! YAHOOOO!!

I plan on moving into an apartment or house with my partner, metamour, and crush sometime this year. Life is on the horizon for the first time in a while. It's weird having a vision of my future.

I'll probably never be able to work an in-person job. I'm coming to terms with that. For now, I can't work a job at all. Working on loving myself regardless of the amount of effort I can put into things. I am worthy of love simply by virtue of being a meat sack with a consciousness. Most of the people in my life have significantly lowered their expectations of me since I've been seeing my doctor for ME/CFS, and that I really appreciate. Right now I'm just trying to take care of myself and do two (2) household chores.

My phone broke, a new one's in the mail that's marginally better :J Like seven extra megapixels in the camera

New alters have been popping up like dandelions. We have our own journals now, plus a combined one where we each have our own pen color. System rules have updated, and I am struggling not to break them. I'm so used to being the only person I have to answer to. I'm glad we're all on relatively equal footing now, but it's hard to remember to take a poll every time I want to buy something. Sorry, gang. Side-note, my sys-brother means the world to me. So does our new caregiver, Loki. Having an internal family is everything, and I feel so lucky. I wish Bitch would talk to me. I want to know what she's hiding from me that everyone else seems to know. I wish I had been nicer to Jax last night, but he did try to give my partner ED behaviors, so...

The thirteen-year-old that split as a motivation holder took about three extra years of skill building off of me, so he got an instant boost in art skill and I got dropped back into fifteen-year-old levels. It's hard not to feel spiteful about that, but I'm trying because I love him and I know it wasn't by choice. Luckily, in those three years I lost I basically never drew humans, so I'm still about on the same level in that regard. I've been drawing a lot of mine and my friends MCU OCs. He's really good at art. He's living a pretty good life right now. I mean, as good as it can be when you're 13 stuck in the life and body of an adult. I feel bad for him. He doesn't really get to have friends his age. At least he's also aroace, I can't imagine how hard it would be for him if he had wanted to date. He's getting into undertale though, which is peak.

We're planning on having a funeral for everybody who's gone dormant or who got mixed in the system reset. We're gonna make a tribute of some kind. I don't know what. We'll figure something out. I miss Slate and Toby a lot. I wish they would come back. I wish I could stop holding out hope that they might some day. It's hard to grieve when you never truly know.

I've been trying to find a therapist, but they keep hot-potatoing me around because nobody knows how to deal with someone with all this trauma and all this DID and all this disabled. I should be getting the information of a telehealth DID specialist soon, though, and my hopes are high. Hopefully she's not a final fusion pusher. I quite like my system.

I finished The Summer Hikaru Died on Netflix, and now I'm reading the Manga because the cliffhanger had me on my knees. Made my own poster based off one of the manga panels:

Horribly shitty picture but trust me it's rad as fuck Hikaru truly is my babygirl. And also me. And also somebody should totally have gay sex with that guy. I'll do it if I have to.

I've been going to a lot of munches lately, and holy shit everybody is just like me. It's so weird living so long being excluded for all these things, and then suddenly I'm in a group of people just like me. I've met so many alterhumans since joining the community it's insane. I met a fucking, transgender eldritch horror moth kin who was also a modular system?? And they use linux?? At the same meetup as a trans furry who also had ME/CFS???? I've legit found my people. Nobody thinks I'm weird, like, even a little bit. I've never been just regular before. It's so unexceptional that I'm a pokemon, that I'm a system, that I'm trans, that I use xenogenders, that I'm disabled. Even the old white dudes I'm meeting, even if they haven't heard of something before, they're asking me questions and then believing and respecting me. I've never felt so unquestioningly accepted before in my life.

I'm listening to cavetown right now (this is a big deal)

Sometimes I write poetry about my trauma. It makes me feel crazy for a while but in the long run it helps me process.

I'm gonna post a lot about my MCU AU moving forward, btw. I liek my guys.

Everything is kinda poetry when you're a weird little freak.

[hawkeyeflags]

happy canada day!

please remember that the last residential school in canada was only closed 28 years ago. about 150 000 indigenous children were taken from their homes and subjected to astounding levels of abuse while being stripped of their culture and heritage. survivors were left with PTSD, depression, anxiety, addiction, and high suicide rates.

instead of celebrating, consider donating to a charity that helps indigenous canadians:

honouring indigenous peoples [link] , reconciliation canada [link] , tipi of hope [link] , rossbrook house [link] and inuit tapiriit kanatami [link] .

tagging @radiomogai @rwuffles @daybreakthing , and i encourage anyone indigenous (canadian or otherwise) to use this post to promote themselves.

[hawkeyeflags]

happy canada day! i am once again encouraging people to make donations to the charities linked above, and inviting any indigenous, inuit, or métis peoples to promote themselves on this post

[victusinveritas]

There's worse to come, folks. Strap in and stay strapped.

[thevonntrapp]

Fascists get months and these guys get decades....just incredible how far the USA has fallen.

[victusinveritas]

From PM Press on Instagram:

[1968bullittmustang]

Prairieland ICE protesters sentenced to decades in prison

Activists who didn't plan the protest and left when asked still received 50-year terms.

The Road to Prairieland

The crackdown on anti-ICE activists in Texas reflects a pattern of intensifying repression all around the country.

[victusinveritas]

[vaspider]

Just so we're connecting our dots together, Reed O'Connor is "that Rhode Island hospital should give me all its trans kids records and I pinky swear I won't just give them to the DOJ and I am commanding all the other judges that they don't have jurisdiction, only I do, despite the fact that none of what's happening is actually in my district," among a million other shitty things.

He is a horrible fucking human being and a terrible fucking judge.

[dilfsisko]

Racism against Indians is actually a little insane when you consider how widespread it is even among liberals and leftists . Even people who consider themselves to be progressive will laugh at call center or tech support jokes. All scammers are inherently indian. It’s okay to laugh at jokes making fun of Indians for their feelings towards animals or how they drive. India is inherently backwards and dirty so it’s okay to make jokes about getting food poisoning from even looking at indian food

[zk-j]

If you tell tell a black transmasc that they have it easy because they're black I'm going to kill you with hammers. Non-negotiable.

[depsidase]

[brightlotusmoon]

[onlyfangz]

if a trans man needs to hide the fact that he's trans in order to access any form of male privilege, i simply do not believe that is real privilege. i will, and never will, accept that the closet is a privilege. any queer person can go into the closet to access "privilege," and it's dumb when you all try to argue that bs too. are you not tired of making the exact same arguments about recycled queer groups every 5-10 years? nothing is ever new except the New Queer Enemy really IS privileged and evil this time, we promise!

[gender-luster]

the world NEEDS more fat hairy dykes

[han-the-human]

The whole idea of TME/TMA really falls apart once they say that "afab nonbinary is TME and amab nonbinary is TMA"

First of all, to state the obvious, putting nonbinary into two gendered boxes is fucking bullshit. I am not a cat I do not enjoy your box.

And what I haven't seen discussed is how placing "afab nonbinary" people as transmisogyny exempt makes genuinely no fucking sense and really shows what this is really about.

The "logic" behind the two boxes is basically "oh all transmascs are men and therefore are treated as men by society so aren't affected by misogyny". This is untrue but at least can make some logical sense of it if you fully ignore how the world actually works. But then when you say that "afab nonbinary" people are also transmisogyny exempt...

What's the logic? Do you think that someone who naturally has female sex characteristics who dresses feminine but is still nonbinary isn't effected by misogyny and transphobia? Do you think that all nonbinary people born female are just "transmasc-lite" and should therefore be put in the same box.

And don't think I'm leaving intersex people out of this either. An intersex person who was assigned female at birth but went through a masculine puberty, then later in life chose to identify as nonbinary and present feminine would be put in the "afab nonbinary" box. In reality, because they went through masculine puberty they would likely be perceived as a trans woman and go through the struggles of one. This person would still be considered transmisogyny exempt by this rigid system.

This goes to show that this system is fucking bullshit and we need to stop using it in our community.

[madokaspaws]

Idk guys it doesn't feel very woke to be arguing about whether or not the trans character written by a trans person is "good representation" or not. I feel like that should be an argument reserved for people who aren't part of the minority group they're trying to represent.

What is woke in this situation? Recognizing the abhorrent racism present in the show's writing, creator, cast, and studio. Say something about it, I beg. Stop spending money on Glitch merch, I beg.

I'm not telling you you're not allowed to like or dislike the show, I'm asking you to be cognizant of the way your actions and consumption affect others.

[digitaldiscipline]

This is the 85 year old creator of Roger Rabbit:

[decadentqueentidalwave]

"Theyfab is a slur against trans men!"

And nonbinary people, right?

...

...

...and nonbinary people, right?!?

[noisejunkies]

in a perfect world, non-binary people will not be forced into one gender binary

[vanglaggle]

IT'S CALLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COMPASSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT EMPATHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE WORD YOU ARE LOOKING FOR IS COMPASSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[thisisexorsexism]

There was a brief TikTok trend of making videos like "When I get a bunch of messages because I said something in the group chat that triggered Bug (he/it/star/leaf)'s self diagnosed trauma."

I'm not the only one who just saw those videos as blatantly exorsexist, right? The people who posted them said they were just a joke, but it really came off as mocking the "weird" nonbinary people.

this is exorsexism and ableism

[neopronouns]

flag id: two flags with 5 stripes. the left flag's stripes are light blue, soft blue, blue, soft blue, and light blue. the right flag's stripes are light warm pink, soft warm pink, warm pink, soft warm pink, and light warm pink. at the right side of the flags, a section of each stripe is a different color — 45% of the first and fifth stripes, 30% of the second and fourth stripes, and 15% of the third stripe. these sections are light grey, very light grey, white, very light grey, and light grey. end id.

banner id: a 1600x200 teal banner with the words ‘please read my dni before interacting. those on my / dni may still use my terms, so do not recoin them.’ in large white text in the center. the text takes up two lines, split at the slash. end id.

sarcioboy | sarciogirl

sarcioboy(/guy/man/male): being male/a boy/guy/man/etc. due to trauma recovery. one's maleness/boyhood/guyhood/manhood/etc. was once not (fully) felt and was discovered or restored through trauma recovery

sarciogirl(/gal/woman/female): being female/a girl/gal/woman/etc. due to trauma recovery. one's femaleness/girlhood/galhood/womanhood/etc. was once not (fully) felt and was discovered or restored through trauma recovery

[pt: sarcioboy(/guy/man/male): being male/a boy/guy/man/etc. due to trauma recovery. one's maleness/boyhood/guyhood/manhood/etc. was once not (fully) felt and was discovered or restored through trauma recovery

sarciogirl(/gal/woman/female): being female/a girl/gal/woman/etc. due to trauma recovery. one's femaleness/girlhood/galhood/womanhood/etc. was once not (fully) felt and was discovered or restored through trauma recovery. end pt]

needed a sarcioboy flag for a request and figured i'd also make a sarciogirl flag!

tags: @radiomogai, @liom-archive, @macchiane, @genderstarbucks, @maggore, @dragonpride17

dni link

[alpaca-clouds]

So, uhm, this is your gentle reminder that most work being done in the world right now is not work necessary to keep society functioning. The work that generally is necessary to keep society going (meaning anything food production, stuff related to home and infrastructure production, education, medicine/nursing, and certain physical production of certain necessary goods for the most part) make up less than 40% of work done around the world right now, due to automation. Most work done right now is done to fill the pockets of some shareholders. About 30% or so of all work is actively useless, and then there is bunch that is partially useless.

Like, if 30% of people stopped working entirely, and the other people just did half the amount of work they do now, everyone would still be fed, dressed, housed, nursed etc. We would be fine.

The entire narrative of us not having enough workers is mostly tied to two things: for one the fact that indeed we have not enough workers in a bunch of technically necessary fields........ because those are paid and treated so shittily that nobody wants to do it. And partially because it keeps up the narrative that is used to convince everyone that it is actually okay to kill jobless people by allowing them to starve, freeze or die of treatable medical issues, so that everyone else will allow themselves to be exploited to not become jobless.