I'm rereading '97 Deadpool comics on Marvel Unlimited. I just finished the Mithras arc. Now I'm onto the Deadpool vs T-Ray arc. Deadpool is such a cool character. The movies were good, but the comics were even better. 😁
VR Tours: Come see your favorite characters in virtual reality from the LA Cosplay Con held at the Long Beach Convention Center. Characters include Deadpool as Donald Trump, Belle from Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, Elsa from Frozen, Rapunzel from Tangled, Tiana from Princess and the Frog, Batman, the Joker, Nightwing, Batman Red Hood, Batman Beyond, Pikachu from Pokemon, Freddy, Foxy, Bonnie…
Can some deadpool fans answer me a question? In the 1997 annual team up between deadpool and daredevil, deadpool is disguised as a bellhop with an entirely different face. How did he do this? It was never explained? It had to be him because he had yellow speech bubbles, but he had an entirely different face and his skin was fine. and then he proceeded to transform into his deadpool costume when he jumped out of the building with foggy. Did I miss something?
Comics... What I've Been Reading (Deadpool, Inhuman, Nailbiter, Borderlands)
Comics… What I’ve Been Reading (Deadpool, Inhuman, Nailbiter, Borderlands)
I’ve been working my way through some massive stacks of comics. I still have not thought of a good way to review single issues or even good themed batches… so here’s just a jumbled together thing of comics I’ve been reading.
Deadpool Classic (Volume 1)
Deadpool is a character that I’m so intrigued by that I decided to start at the beginning. My comic shop ordered me this volume – it starts…
Many who read Deadpool dismiss his queerness. They say that Deadpool is "just joking" when he makes passes at men, or that identifying Deadpool as pan-sexual/queer is a later addition to his character. So how true is that? I'm going to look through all 130 of his classic appearances and note when he flirts with women and men and his other questionable queer comments. This won't look at his comments to canonical romantic partners (Copy-Cat, Siryn, Typhoid Mary, Death and the lessers Mercedes Wilson, Anna, and Sazae)
Short answer, Deadpool even in the Classic Deadpool run was pansexual. Deal with it.
See the read more for the full answer:
Deadpool's very first appearance has a questionably queer line to Cable: "So when I frost your sorry old mechanical butt, don’t take it personally, okay?"
"I'm going to kick your butt" is a pretty common line for trash-talk, so despite some interesting choice of words (that he is going to "frost" Cable's butt), this line in an of itself cannot be counted as a queer line.
In his 7th appearance, X-Force #11, Deadpool breaks into the X-Force mansion to confront Copy-Cat, who has been posing as Domino on Mr. Tolliver's orders. Deadpool has to take down a few members of the X- Force who are also in the mansion before he can get to Copy-Cat. He watches a shirtless Shatterstar work out for over an hour, which he said was "kinda fun". He then refers to Shatterstar (a canonically gay character, though he wasn't known to be at this point) as "pretty boy". Twice. And clearly he does pick up on some of Shatterstar's gay vibe as he refers to him as "Liberace".
Again, he could just be an asshole using slurs against a gay guy, but it is interesting that his first flirt-banter lines are said to a guy before his flirt-banter lines with Copy-Cat (Deadpool to Copy-Cat: "I feel so nostalgic…she still packs quite a kick…but she’s just playin’ hard to get…stringing me along the way she is…what a TEASE!" and "I can’t help but bust up that pretty little face of yours some more…even if it is…SOMEONE ELSE’S FACE!"
That's 2 lines to a guy
In his very next appearance, he's again calling a guy a "pretty boy". When he fights Jack, the Nomad, he said, "Hey sexy boy—nice hair" and again, later, "Mr. Gun-in-the-Face-Pretty-Boy".
And another 2 lines to a guy
It's not until his 18th appearance (Deadpool Circle Chase #3) when he finally does his flirt-banter with a pair of women:
[Deadpool to Makeshift and Rive, 2 lady mercenaries attacking him]: Now if you babes want a piece of me— I’m shoor I can find ways to accommodate ya both!
[Same]: Not only did that hurt—But I’m stuck to the wall! But I’d rather be stuck on YOU.
[Same]: Ouch yet again! What is this thing? You tryin’ to give me a HICKEY?!
[And again]: Umm—GIRLS—Can’t we talk about this? I mean—I’m as into the kinky stuff as the next guy, but..
That 4 lines for the two woman
When Deadpool teams up with the Heroes for Hire, he calls Luke Cage "pretty boy" as well.
Another 1 line for a guy
It should also be noted that Deadpool does have a tendency to get posed in Action-Hero-Girl and other feminine poses. His 29th appearance in Wolverine #88 is a fine example of his feminine poses.
In the first issue of his regular solo series, Deadpool does the childish teasing that young children do to people they like when he threatens to lick Sasquatch's hand when Sasquatch holds Deadpool's head in his hand in an attempt to shut Deadpool up. It's juvenile for certain, only questionably queer. This won't be counted.
Deadpool decides he wants Siryn's help for a mission he thinks will have him facing off again with her uncle, Black Tom Cassidy. He sneaks into the X-Mansion as a pizza delivery man. When she questions his costume choice, he responds "“GET UP”? This is a masterfully crafted DISGUISE! I used it to slip into the mansion COMPLETELY undetected! I mean, the TELEPORTER helped too, but I’d heard that the BEAST is a SUCKER for a man in uniform..."
1 line about a guy
He flirts more heavily with "The Vamp":
[Deadpool flirts with The Vamp]: I thought I was supposed to GROPE you before you clocked me one…Maybe we can go BACK a few steps? Like to the part where you knew my NAME?
[Deadpool to The Vamp]: I hope you plan to SPANK ME into submiss— whoulff!
[same]: Hey! You hardly KNOW me! You can’t try to WHACK me til AFTER the first date! Speaking of APPETIZERS, I know this sweet CLOTHING- OPTIONAL Chinese place…great egg rolls…
[More Deadpool flirting with The Vamp]: I think things might work out between us if we could just find some COMMON ground. Lessee..We both like KICKING BUTT, that’s cool. And we both like LOW CUT BLOUSES…see how much FUN this is? We’re both interested in this MARY woman…why don’t you tell me a little something about her before I MUSS your hair…PERMANENT- LIKE.
[Deadpool after defeating The Vamp]: I could never waste a good looker like that with a CLEAR CONSCIENCE! I mean, didn’t you think we had a certain CHEMISTRY? Sort of a Hepburn TRACY thing
[Then The Vamp turns into the hulking ugly man, Animus.
[Deadpool to Animus/The Vamp]: To be quite FRANK, I don’t wanna EVER feel anything you got…EVER…Y’know when you were still a HOTTY, I had PLANS for us. Candle-light…soft music…tickets to ULTIMATE BOXING…but now…you gone and confused the #$%&*@! out of my HORMONES!
I was having NC-17 FANTASIES about you! Planning and scamming like a regular CASANOVA…and now you’re a big DISGUSTING KOJAK REJECT!! THAT’S FREAKING GROSS!
[Deadpool]: Now you got me thinking…maybe all this time I’ve been HITTING on the WRONG mutants…I wonder if that sexy PROFESSOR X is doing anything this weekend?
Deadpool flirts much more in this fight then in any of his previous ones, in part I suspect because the Vamp is a more sexualized opponent. The Vamp's transformation in Animus leaves Deadpool at a bit of a loss. It "confused the #$%&*@! out" of his hormones. While it could be said that he was disgusted that The Vamp turned into a guy, Deadpool specifically complains that Animus is "freaking gross" for being a "a big DISGUSTING KOJAK REJECT" instead of the "Sexy Professor X".
That's 5 lines to the Vamp and another 3 about her before her transformation, then 2 lines questioning his masculinity/sexuality, 2 lines for kink interest and and 1 line about a guy
When Deadpool kidnaps DareDevil's friend Froggy in an attempt to get DareDevil's attention, he brings Froggy up to the roof. He does have his hand on Froggy's ass while pushing up the final few feet onto the rooftop. While questionable, this one doesn't count.
Back at the Hellhouse, Deadpool is a little brat to Patch. After beating up the regulars in the Hellhouse to prove his worth, Deadpool claims they all slipped on a banana peel. To Patch, he exclaims, "One errant peel wiped out a whole BANANA BOATFUL of mercs! Oh, the AWFUL humanity...HOLD ME? I TREMBLE..." and when Patch only mildly scolds him for breaking the "no fighting in the Hellhouse" rule, Deadpool tells him, "Have I ever told you you’re BEAUTIFUL when you give me SPECIAL treatment? Can I make you a FRIENDSHIP PIN?". These lines from Deadpool are only questionably queer and aren't counted on my list, but he does reassert his interest in women with his next line. When he was told about the princess he is being hired to save who might grant him a boon, he says: "Oh I like the sound of BOON…ROWR ROWR…the princess is STACKED, right? Wait, DON’T tell me, I wanna be SURPRISED."
So that's another 1 line about a woman
Deadpool gets super flirty with Gwen Stacey when he goes back in time and disguises himself as Peter Parker:
[Gwen Stacy talks about how her boy is going away and so she’s up for grabs, Deadpool-as-Peter]: “oh, RE-HEALLY and look at me with the GRABBIN’ GLOVES
[same]: And might I add, that’s a great dress, Gwen [then as an aside to young Weasel]: but it would look a lot BETTER crumbled up next to my BED, right, Weaz?
[When Gwen retorts if she was expected to look like Yogi Bear, Deadpool]: I was hoping for the bare part, but if you know YOGA too, that’s a PLUS in my book, sister!
[Gwen tells him to “bite your tongue”, Deadpool]: I’d rather bite something ELSE…rrrooowrr!
Furthermore, Deadpool, upon his rescue back to the present, makes this note about his own masculinity to his friend Weasel: "Weasel! Is it really you?! Man, am I glad to see your DEGENERATE, STUBBLY face! You DID it! If it wasn’t so INSECURE about my MANHOOD, I’d kiss you!"
That makes 4 to and 1 about Gwen Stacy, and 1 more line concerning his masculinity/sexuality
After Siryn goes missing, Deadpool tries to find her. In the process, he winds up stealing a military jeep and kidnapping a few soldiers, whom he binds and gags. He makes this trip with his pal, Weasel, and discussing the possibility of Weasel becoming a sidekick:
[Deadpool to Weasel]: We could dress YOU up in a DOMINO mask and SPEEDOS and call you POOL-BOY
[Deadpool first to Weasel, then to the two soldiers he has tied and muffled]: Now, now, Weasel! You’re a PERFECT candidate for a nice snug THONG! Hey screwheads! Don’t you think our boy’d look great as a crime- fighting UNDERWEAR model? Oh, yea, I forgot you boys are bound to that MILITARY thing...don’t ASK, don’t TELL, right? *sigh* I bet John Wayne’s rolling over his GRAVE...
That's 2 to and 1 about Weasel, and I'll count this whole conversation as 1 for Deadpool expressing interest in something typically gay/feminine, and 1 for kink interest.
On his way to talk with Siryn, Deadpool winds up fighting Warpath. After the fight ends, he tells Warpath, "And don’t go whining to CABLE, either! You with your big ol’ GEORGE CLOONEY-WANNABE haircut..."
Ignoring the interest in Cable (doesn't count), that's 1 line to a guy
Deadpool goes to visit Weasel, who unfortunately isn't home: "...Weaz? Aw. man…don’t tell me you’re not HERE *sigh* GREAT…a guy can’t even get some UNCOMPLICATED strictly platonic male COMPANIONSHIP when he needs it..."
(not counting this one, but it's an interesting quote)
Deadpool mildly flirts with Domino. After hearing that she and Cable are "splitsville" he wonders if she wants to team-up with him. This one could be completely platonic partners, could be flirting. I'm going to count it. 1 to a woman
Deadpool teams up with the Heroes for Hire. He winds up rescuing Misty and Collene, and even gets them back their weapons. When they ask how he managed that, he tells them "Do you REEEEALLY want to know? It involves an AWFUL lot of lubricant."
I'm counting this as 1 line to two woman and 1 line for kink
Deadpool teams up with Bullseye for a mission. When Bullseye tells Deadpool that they're not pals, Deadpool responds "Gee, and I was gonna ask you to the MALT SHOPPE after this..." (not counting this one)
Deadpool performs CPR to save the live of Ilaney, a woman who he has inadvertently gotten wrapped up in a fight he's having with Ajax. Deadpool tells her: "You’re a sly chippie, you know that, Ilaney? Most dames who want to play a round of TONSIL HOCKEY with the Wadester, they go SUBTLE…poetry, a nice dinner and a bullfight…maybe put on some esquivel to get the mood…but not YOU! No! You go and THROW yourself into CARDIAC ARREST just for a little lip action? Kinky. I like that kind of enthusiasm in a chick. You are on the CALL BACK LIST."
I'm counting this as 1 line to a woman and 1 as kink interest
At a casino to help show Montgomery the world (and to make a ton of money), Deadpool being Deadpool blathers on to the casino cashier. When she rather coldly tells him his story is "fascinating". Deadpool responds: "Yes, I AM. So shall we shag NOW or shag LATER? Just jokes, babe"
1 line for random woman
Deadpool to Zoe regarding the Mithras Project: "Visual aids?! Hey, are you going to get fresh with me? ‘Cause I don’t believe in mixing business with—oh, who am I kidding...just let me get gum and I’m yours"
That's 1 line to a woman
The next queer and questionably queer lines show up during Deadpool's fight with Cable. As I consider Cable a cannon relationship for Deadpool, even if its mostly expressed in subtext, these lines won't be added to this total. Please see my earlier post regarding Deadpool's romantic connections in Classical Deadpool for more regarding Deadpool and Cable
When Deadpool gets armored up by the Tiamat aliens, he says, "I think I’m going to scream like a little fairy."
Deadpool interrupts Wolverine's date and hits on Kitty Pryde:
[Deadpool and Kitty meet. Kitty]: Mister, I have a sinking feeling that I’m not going to like you very much.
[Deadpool]: Yeah, well, I have that effect on all stuck up little princesses—by the way, I’ve got a pea problem in my bedroom, princess. You wanna come over and inspect my mattress? RROWR!
[Kitty]: Eeew.
That's 1 line to a woman
Deadpool is on a job to take out some Elvis-guy. He tells him, "Nice PANTS…but raiding LIBERACE’S wardrobe ain’t gonna scare off ol’ Deadpool. You know, I’m not of that persua—"
Deadpool tries to reassert his hetero-normative masculinity. 1 point for his thoughts on his masculinity/sexuality
He takes a job over in Japan, and apparently napped on Boss on the plane ride over, "Listen, you weren’t exactly a soft pillow on the flight over eith—"
I'll count that as 1 to a guy
Deadpool tries to hide who he is from someone from his past, but Oyakata forces Deadpool to admit it by threatening "I’ll tell my boys about the two women in Osaka who you discovered weren’t exactly women..."
Deadpool doesn't want this story spread, but otherwise we don't know his feelings about this experience. Can't count it
Deadpool gets knocked out and awakens being held by Oyakata. Deadpool says in English rather than the Japanese that Oyakata speaks, "How come I always find myself waking up Sunday morning in the arms of a FAT MAN?"
1 line about a guy
When Deadpool interrupts Bullseye on a job with a woman Deadpool knows from the past, Deadpool tries to talk Bullseye into forgetting about the job. Deadpool wraps his arm around Bullseye. Bullseye notes that Deadpool is touching him. Deadpool informs him: "Yes...yes I am. I can do that, because we’re PALS, and pals touch one another. PLATONICALLY... We ARE pals, right rookie?"
Deadpool gets captured by the Black Talon and tied up and painted for a sacrifice ceremony. He tells Black Talon: "Finger paints...kinky. Does this mean we’re going steady? Will I get to wear your letterman cloak at the school sacrifice?"
Deadpool gets pinned down onto a desk by Kingpin. After a beat, he tells Kingpin, "Y'know...I find myself oddly aroused."
That's 1 to a guy and I'll add in 1 for kink interest
In a plot against Thor, Loki ropes Deadpool in, claiming to be Deadpool's father, though it might seem "passing strange". Deadpool informs Loki that Loki appears "passing strange...(not that there is anything wrong with that, of course)"
Deadpool also first expresses his appreciation for Thor's looks in this story arc:
[Deadpool to Thor]: Bah! To think I actually admired thee! Brave—handsome—beloved—not that I actually noticed the “handsome” part, but I digrasseth—
Thou art as thy brother hath said—haught, selfish, high-minded—! (and say, what creme rinse do you use...?)
That's 2 to a guy
Deadpool moves into a villain lair with Frank the Constrictor and Skeeter. Upon first sight, Deadpool fights them. When Skeeter pulls Deadpool out from under the fridge that she threw at him, he kisses her. It seems as if that was a plot to spray her with a bio-inhibitor to knock her out of the fight. It is later revealed that Skeeter is actually Copy-Cat posing for months as Skeeter, and that Deadpool knew from the beginning. Therefore, any flirting with Skeeter won't count for this list even if the Skeeter-is-Copy-Cat was retcon or not (I don't know if it was retcon or planned that way from the start)
Deadpool does eventually become somewhat friends with Frank and "Skeeter", and discuses how he's been cursed to look like Thom Cruz by Loki, "Until I submit to him or somethin’. I dunno. Remind me, we should invade Asgard and open a can of Jiu Jitsu on Loki—who, by the way, comes off more than just a little FEM. Not passin’ judgement. Just sayin’.
This is at least twice now that Deadpool has made comments insinuating that he thinks Loki is gay.
Deadpool briefly gets a team of TaskMaster students following him around, though he knows it's a trap, and he winds up fighting the group. He first fights "Deadweight". When "Deadend" realizes that Deadpool is making his move against them, Deadpool insists that he's not and that "Chunky and I are DATING. This is how we DO it."
A bit tenuous, but I'll count this as 1 about a woman
Deadpool has an adventure out in space (don't ask) and he gets taken aboard an alien ship. He stands face-to-snout with the leader of the alien gang and tells him "EVERYBODY'S got to do it the HARD WAY. All right, mister snout--you brought this on YOURSELF" and then kisses the giant bull-horned alien, leans against his chest with hearts in his eyes, before shooting the alien thugs.
Deadpool rescues an alien criminal known as Dirty Wolff and they have to make their way across the alien prison ship to get to the hangar bay. Wolff complains that it hurts to walk, so Deadpool replies, "Well, I’d offer to CARRY you, but then we’d have to get MARRIED," when Wolff pulls Deadpool out of a crowd, Deadpool complains, "Hey—hey—HEY—!! If you’re gonna grab my chest—at least buy me DINNER and a MOVIE—", and when they cut through the showers on their way through the ship, Deadpool says to Wolff, "Ah...okay...we’re not gonna...I mean, there’s no GROUP BATHING in this plan of yours, is there...?"
That'll be 4 lines to two men
Back on earth, Deadpool gets mixed up in a thieves guild and an assassins guild with Gambit in the middle. Caught by the assassin's guild, Deadpool flirts with the woman leader who holds a bo staff at him: "Well, pretty lady, why not be indiscreet and slide that bo staff four inches higher…did I say four? I meant TWO..."
Shortly later, he is caught by the thieves guild:
[thief] because you haven’ stopped starin’ at my BODY since you arrived
[Deadpool]: And...?
[thief]: And if you kill us, there won’t be anythin’ pretty left ta look at!
[Deadpool]: Man, lady, I do like your style!
That's 2 line to two women
Deadpool, temporarily deafened, chases his target into a college dorm. He comes across a beautiful blond woman who just came out of the shower. He mistakes her pointing for the toothbrush behind her for a come hither and kiss me gesture. He raises his mask and leans in for a kiss. She was not asking for a kiss. He is chased out of the dorm
1 line for a woman
Deadpool gets caught for a while, but gets busted free as part of a job against the Black Panther. Once free, Deadpool is able to get back into his regular suit. He states, "Ah...MUCH better. Amazing what RED SPANDEX can do for your MOOD!"
Score another one for kink interest
While in Africa, Deadpool meets with Triathlon. Despite the fact that Deadpool is less than impressed with Triathlon's clothing choice ("Though I wouldn’t mind tri-slapping you just for the lame outfit, but I digress") the two bond:
[Deadpool is touched by Triathlon’s enthusiasm for being in Africa. He removes his mask so he can look him in the eye. Triathlon puts not just his hand on Deadpool’s shoulder, but really puts his arm around him. They are standing close, gazing into each’s eyes.]
[Triathlon]: Maybe you need to put that gun DOWN. Look, I’m not trying to HUSTLE you here, Deadpool, but you seem to be searching—really MISSING something in your life. I could SHARE some things with you that might make a difference.
[After a beat, Deadpool]: Please tell me you’re not gonna KISS me.
[Triathlon]: I’m not going to kiss you.
[Deadpool]: Good. Let’s move out.
[The scene shifts and we do not see what Triathlon wants to share with Deadpool]
[Deadpool has a similar conversation later during his fight with Black Panther]:
[Deadpool]: Well, now, this is NEW...
[Black Panther]: Taku’s escape tube—advanced magnetics—manipulating air pressure to move us at high speed.
[Deadpool]: Yeah, whatever, just tell me you’re not gonna KISS me.
[Black Panther]: I’m not gonna kiss you.
[Deadpool]: Okay, resume fight.
That'll be 1 for interested in typical "gay" things like fashion and 2 lines to two guys for his obsession with kissing
Back at home, Deadpool has no problems kissing Copy-Cat when she's disguised herself as the flamboyant real estate agent, Hayden. He notes that he can always tell who Copy-Cat is, regardless of her form, but besides, "Hayden's perfume is much fruiter..."
Leaving aside the male-male kiss as one of the males in question is canonical love interest Copy-Cat, there is still Deadpool's awareness for Hayden's perfume, making that another point for Deadpool's interest for "gay/feminine" things
Deadpool takes a job to take down Wolverine. He announces to Wolverine, "You know how it is, Wolvie. I’m checking out markedmen.com and there’s your adorable mug alongside a number so big, I thought Ed McMahon was springin’ for the hit."
1 line to 1 guy
Deadpool flirts shamelessly with several woman he meets and he winds up with several girlfriends all at once. Granted, they are all Copy-Cat and he knows this. Doesn't count for this list
Deadpool briefly takes a young man under his wing when he inadvertently fails to save his father's life from a killer he was hired to take out. The two have a strange dichotomy. Christopher is at the cusp of adulthood, so he's young enough to still trigger a little of Deadpool's wish to protect children, but he is also an almost-adult, so Deadpool takes on a mentor-ing role. For his part, Christopher is somewhat intrigued by Deadpool, somewhat blaming him for his father's death and wants him to die.
As I said, there are some interesting dynamics between these two:
[random woman at club to Christopher about Deadpool]: Is that your FATHER or your PIMP?
[Christopher]: Both
[Christopher, as he's leaving]: A kiss good-bye perhaps?
[Deadpool]: You know where my BUTT is.
[Christopher, laughing]: Man, you ARE foul!
Since these lines reveal more about Christopher than Deadpool, these don't count for my list.
Deadpool talks about Copy-Cat using her powers for some alternative uses: "If I wrap this up early enough I’ll see if Vanessa can morph into Typhoid Mary’s lips. Shoot. I should really be discouraging her shape- shifting powers. I think THAT’S what’s been screwing her mind lately. I swear, once we get through Black Widow, Scarlet Witch, Psylocke and the She-Hulk, I’m DONE using her to fulfill my fantasies! *sigh* Okay, maybe Moondragon, but that’s it. Yeah, RIGHT."
1 score for kink interest
Deadpool takes on a mission to kill the Punisher. He manages to get the drop on Punisher, but the both wind up in the river. The Punisher comes up with a plan to throw off pursuit by faking his death, stripping out of his shirt and leaving a trail of (Deadpool's) blood for the police to find. Deadpool comments TO HIMSELF (as in, this isn't for anyone's benefit, not a joke to mess with someone, he is thinking this for himself): "Don’t know why the Punisher’s STRIPPING DOWN, but NOW ain’t the time to get kinky. Maybe later we’ll have time for a BUBBLE BATH, but now..."
Deadpool gets knocked out and captured by the Punisher. He sleep- talks, speaking aloud as he comes out of his dream: "the pink…what boutique? …have a d-battery WITH you? Outstanding! See? It vibrates." (Again, these comments are for himself, these are things he is saying from his dreams, not as part of a plan to harass someone else)
Once awake, Deadpool sees he's been captured by the Punisher, who is standing with his back towards Deadpool, staring sulkily out the window. Deadpool says to him: "Aww, Frank, you look UPSET! Striking that faraway James Dean pose…y’know you’ve got GREAT BUNS? Ever think of trying out for the backstreet boys?"
So that's 1 to and 1 about a guy, and 1 for kink interest
Deadpool narration, so these are his thoughts, that he's thinking for himself, not as a means to rile anyone up: "Actually, you find yourself doing a lot of stupid things when you’re staking out a hit... Attempting to cope out with those uncomfortable dreams you’ve been having about Gilbert Gottfred. But maybe that’s just me."
And another 1 about a guy
Deadpool rejoins the Weapon X program for the promise of the cure for his looks. As he gets the tour of the complex, he gropes the bottom of a sexy nurse. He exclaims, "Well HEEELLLOOOOO, NURSE! Now YOU, sweet- cheeks, can give me a physical ANYTIME!" He does have a few demands before he rejoins the organization though: "Ya haven’t heard my list of DEMANDS YET! Y’know like a wine cellar, a speedboat, the hand of the Black Widow in marriage"
1 for the grope, and 1 for the cheesy pick-up line to a woman, and another 1 about a woman.
Deadpool gets a new costume when he joins Weapon-X. He mostly likes it, but he worries, "Gee, is it me—or do all these GUNS make my butt look fat?"
1 for a "feminine" line
Bullseye and Deadpool apparently had a bet that Deadpool could swipe Kingpin's underwear. Deadpool succeeded. And kept the underwear. As a trophy.
I--I'm not even quite sure how to classify this one
Deadpool gets caught by T-Ray, who needles Deadpool about having killed him by asking how cold and lonely the afterlife was. Deadpool snaps back that it was "Actually warm and lively, kinda like you mom."
This is one of the few times when Deadpool is clearly saying something provocative to piss off an opponent.
T-Ray's plan is to split off aspects of Deadpool's personality, leaving Deadpool himself as a boring, uninteresting husk so Death won't love him anymore. One of his personality fragments is a woman. She notes, "See, who said I’m not in touch with my FEMININE side?"
1 point for his feminine side
Deadpool gets mistaken as the hitman who took out all four Japanese crimelords. He has loads of fanboys following him around the gym. He even has Outlaw flirting with him, though he blows her off for work.
Deadpool flies over to Germany, and despite the fact that he speaks German, he tells the beautiful flight attendant, "I don’t know WHAT you just said, but I’d pay good money to hear it again!"
1 line to a woman
Deadpool gets tortured and beaten up. He has broken bones all over his body such that Sandi has to stretch him out to reset his bones. Deadpool comes to consciousness during the process. He thinks as he comes to: "Huh. Someone’s tying me up. How NICE. And this ‘someone’ smells GREAT. Lotta guys pay GOOD MONEY for this…good knotting technique, too. Bet she’s a SAILOR."
1 point about a woman and 1 point for kink interest
Deadpool grabs a bunch of Avenger equipment in the henchman gym trophy case in the hopes that something there will help him defeat the angered Rhino. Deadpool grabs a pair of the Hulk's pants. They do not help him transform into the Hulk. Deadpool complains, "Stupid Hulk pants didn’t work at all. And I look STUPID in purple!"
1 point for the "gay" interest in fashion and color matching
Deadpool gets hired for a job to protect Dazzler. He has this exchange with her manager:
[Snake guy]: Now, you have got, like, POWERS, right?
[Deadpool]: Don’t worry—I’m a Superfreak.
[Snake guy]: A super-freak?
[Deadpool]: I’m super-freaky
1 point for his thoughts on his masculinity/sexuality
And Deadpool's scooter is "very manly"
another 1 point for his thoughts on his masculinity
It wouldn't entirely be fair to talk about Deadpool's excitement in discovering his "winkee" and the joys of it going "boingy boingy boingy boingy" in his hand since he wasn't in his right mind. But as Alex points out, Deadpoool is very "OBSESSED of his schnitzel & ‘taters".
He does tell Sandi that she's "pretty" and "good smelling" and he is upset when Black Swan defeats Outlaw. "Hey...HEY! You just killed the nice deranged chick from the juice bar that I was gonna score with someday maybe!"
1 point to and 1 point about a woman
And that's the classical Deadpool run
IN SUMMARY:
Deadpool flirts with/makes suggestive comments to/about 16 individual guys and 20 individual women. He makes about 17 comments to men and 4 about men, for a total of 21 comments to/about men, while he makes about 24 comments to women and 9 about women for a total of 33 to/about women. He makes 5 comments regarding his masculinity and/or sexuality, reveals interests that are more associated with someone who is gay or a woman 6 times, and expresses interest in various kinks 9 times.
Yes, his canocal romances at this point are with women: CopyCat (an ex he becomes involved with again), Siryn (whom he likes almost as much for her "goodness" as anything else), Death (anamorphic concept that he visualizes as female), Typhoid Mary (who he had brief interest in and only when he thought she had decided to become good, otherwise he had no sexual interest in her at all), Anna (who pursued him), Mercedes Wilson (who wasn't actually an ex), and Sazae (which was a stupid story hardly counts).
And yes, he does flirt more with women, and he goes further with his comments to women than he does men (see his comments to The Vamp and Gwen Stacy compared to the "pretty boy" for Shatterstar and Nomad). But just because he makes MORE comments to women, doesn't negate the fact that he makes comments to men as well, and a few of those comments were made in his head, so these comments can't be excused as just riling up his opponent.
In short, Deadpool even in the Classic Deadpool run was pansexual. Deal with it.
Copy-Cat/Vanessa:
Deadpool and Vanessa have an on-and-off-again relationship. She was Deadpool's girlfriend before the Weapon X program, but he broke up with her when he discovered he had cancer, as seen in a flashback. They start the Classic era broken up, but both working for the same man, Mr. Tolliver. By the first Deadpool mini-series, Deadpool expresses that he is still interested in her, but Vanessa has moved on.
Later, Vanessa enters back into Deadpool's life when she spends months pretending to be another mutant villain while she lives with Deadpool as part of an elaborate revenge plot she was hired for. She winds up taking all of his money and leaving him again.
She rejoins Weapon X, goes crazy, and gets involved with Deadpool again by pretending to be five different women who all want to hook-up with Deadpool. He knows it's her the entire time, and eventually confronts her about her scheme. They get together again, only to end for the last time when Sabretooth murders her.
Siryn.
One-sided on Deadpool's part. She seems interested in him when they first meet, but her interest disappears after she sees his face. She considers him a friend of sorts. Deadpool has her on a pedestal and depends on her to help him stay good and sane.
Death:
Deadpool meets death in a flashback issue centered on his time at Weapon X, where he was experimented on, tortured, and made insane. Unfortunately, his thirst for revenge triggered his healing factor at the end, parting him from Death.
He has a few more meetings with Death, first when he was dealing with Francis, a tormentor from his Weapon X days, later when he killed after a battle with T-Ray he got to spend some time with Death. When Death was captured by Loki, Deadpool had to play along with Loki's schemes against his brother Thor for a while in order to rescue Death, despite discovering Death's fickleness when Death preferred Thor to Deadpool. Finally, T-Ray had been hired by Thanos to try to strip all personality from Deadpool in the hopes of making Deadpool uninteresting to Death, since they were both in love with Death.
Typhoid Mary
Deadpool has no interest in Typhoid Mary until it seems like he’s helped her. That turns out not to be the case. And then she rapes him. He’s traumatized in the immediate aftermath, but decides to consider her somewhat a girlfriend. At the very least, he keeps a picture of her on his bedside next to the one of Siryn, and he considered going to her for help at one point when he was having trouble with the Loki curse. He ultimately didn’t, and she isn’t in the story much after the issue 14.
Anna
A tattoo-artist mob-girlfriend who sets Deadpool up as part of her plans to get away. She winds up falling for him, but her disregard for taking innocents out leaves Deadpool uninterested. He might have killed her.
Mercedes WilsonA woman that Deadpool thought had been his wife before he was Deadpool, but really she was a woman he had liked and killed in some weird story that makes no sense and I tend to ignore this plot line because T-Ray is stupid.
Sazae
I don’t count this one but for the sake of completion, I’m mentioning it here. According to a single issue side story, Deadpool almost married a Japanese woman named Sazae back in his mercenary days pre-Weapon X when he was living in Japan as a sumo wrestler.
And then we have:
Cable:
Deadpool has two big fights with Cable, both times Cable is able to defeat Deadpool (with help from Copy-Cat-as-Domino and the real Domino). There isn’t anything particularly special about these two fights. That is, to Cable, Deadpool is just another bad guy who fights him, but really, there isn’t much that would mark Deadpool as anything particularly note-worthy for Cable.
But Deadpool does seem to take notice of Cable. Well, okay, the first time Cable did bind, gag, and mail him, fed-ex, back to his boss, and Cable is probably among the few who have defeated Deadpool at this time. One of Deadpool’s image inducer forms has a glowy left-eye like Cable’s. He’s aware of Cable’s love life--he knows when Domino and Cable aren’t together anymore.
Then we get the one significant fight between the two of them. Deadpool has just learned that the great destiny he has, the one where he gets to be a hero and save the world, actually involves killing something, and Cable, who also has a destiny to save the world, is now powerless and dying before he can actually accomplish his life’s goal. The two fight and bond over the idea of being the unthanked garbage-men of destiny.
Some things of note about this fight. First, Deadpool has paid attention to Cable and knows that something’s wrong--he pretty much immediately realizes that Cable doesn’t have his powers. Deadpool also says several possibly-queer statements to Cable throughout their fight. These could be read non-sexually, or non-serious. Deadpool makes note of Cable’s “Charlton Heston voice”. Then he says, “We haven’t started yet and you’re winded? I hope you’d have the common decency to tell me if you’re suffering severe chest pains…it’d be a total tease if you dropped dead before I got a chance to smack the Pepsi out of you!”
Cable decides that the “Fights over. I’m prioritizing and you’re not that important to me right now.” And Deadpool agrees that maybe “I guess suddenly I don’t feel like tearing you a new orifice either” and they part ways.
Other than possibly seeing each other during the Contest of Champions II, they don’t have any further interaction until Deadpool’s funeral. Which might have been a dream/hallucination on Deadpool’s part, but taking the story at face value, Cable goes to Deadpool’s funeral, and he doesn’t go with Siryn, but on his own. There is nothing in their three interactions that would suggest that Cable thought enough of Deadpool that he would care about, or heck even know about a funeral for Deadpool.
Which is all to say that I am convinced that Rallamajoop’s story is completely and utterly true.
Deadpool's willingness to kill waxes and wanes with his attempts to be a hero, but in general he has little problem killing bad guys and others "in the business". He generally doesn't like killing civilians, though sometimes he doesn't care about causalities. But no matter how much he might kill others, he never hurts children, and will go out of his way to help and protect kids.
The first time we see his soft spot for children is 83rd appearance, issue #34. Deadpool was hired to take out man who is dressed as Santa. Deadpool delays his hit when the man entered a mall and was surrounded by children lining up to sit on Santa's lap. When Bullseye sniper shot the man, Deadpool quietly comes in and ushers the children away before any of them could realize that Santa had been killed.
When Deadpool took on a job fighting Fantastic Four's The Thing, the Reeds boy appeared to have been killed in the attack. Deadpool is frantic in his attempts to unbury the boy. He notes "And Just like that I realized I had a moral code. A line I wouldn’t cross." And that line is killing kids.
On another mission, Deadpool rescues a traumatized teenage girl. He tries to set her up with help. He takes on responsibility for her, gives her his last name, a trust fund, and puts her in a home to help her heal. He is devastated when he learns that she took her own life. He has her buried and considers her family.
When a phone call from Copy-Cat distracts Deadpool on his job, leading to the death of a man he had been hired to protect, Deadpool takes responsibility for Christopher, the man's teenage son. Deadpool alternates between his protecting Christopher like a child, and treating him as a young man who can stand on his own. He takes Christopher under his wing, giving him a sidekick role as "Poolboy". He helps Christopher have get revenge against the man who killed his father, and then gets him set up with a trust fund and to go to school in Oxford, not that Christopher took him up on the schooling, or stopped trying to blow Deadpool up for his part in his father's death, but still, Deadpool did what he could for the kid.
Deadpool joins back up with Weapon X. On his first mission, the mutant causing destruction is a kid, new to his powers. Deadpool talks the kid down, promising to get him some help. When Kane kills the kid, Deadpool is shocked and horrified, and then angry. "I DIDN’T sign up with this outfit to kill KIDS!"
At another job, Deadpool is asked to kill a guy that has been harassing the man hiring him. Deadpool doesn't care much until he learns that the target has started to harass the man's son as well. Deadpool immediately throws himself across the street, without waiting for any plan, shouting that kids are off-limits. He later talks with the son, telling him about the X-Men mansion where mutants can go and get help learning how to handle their powers.
Deadpool's protective instinct for children also makes it way into Alex Hayden, who was in part created from the personality of Deadpool. Alex has in instinctual hatred of Deadpool from the other two men who made up his personality (he shoots Deadpool point-blank in the face upon first sight of Deadpool) but during the seance to restore their personalities, Deadpool is still mentally like a little kid, and the process is so painful that Alex feels upset at what they were doing to Deadpool: "We shoulda waited. This is like torturing a kid. A big, dumb, ugly, STUPID kid, but still."
