#queer dcad

[li-izumi]

Deadpool Comic Appearance Details #347

Fear Itself: Deadpool #1 Written by Christopher Hastings, Art by Bong Dazo and Joe Pimentel 2011-08

[The plot of this arc centers around HAMMERS. No, not THAT kind of Hammer, Deadpool]

So, we start our scene in a living room with Deadpool, a typical middle-class white couple, and a pair of construction type guys. Deadpool is apparently selling a home security system.

CRAZY/REP: [Deadpool]: THIS is a BAD guy. And he just broke into your house! Bu-- [Husband]: Do you typically carry a skull on you? [Deadpool]: Yes I do. [Yellow]: Skulls are cool. [Deadpool]: Skulls are cool. Now, as I was SAYING…

The sales pitch doesn't go very well when a powered-up Juggernaut plows through the building. The couple dismiss Deadpool as a fraud, and his contractors want to leave.

REFERENCE: [Deadpool]: YOU people, you always know where the money's hidden. [White]: Plumbers ALWAYS know. [Deadpool]: It's cool, man. Plumbers are cool. [Contractor]: We're not plumbers. [With one tall and thin guy and the other short and fat, in overalls, they kinda resemble Mario and Luigi, plumbers who do indeed always know where to find hidden coins]

The contractors leave. Depressed, Deadpool flops down onto the couple's chair and flips on their television, where he hears about the Fear Itself event plot.

While he decides he doesn't stand a chance against these powered-up guys, a shadowy figure pulls out a missile launcher and blows up the contractors in their truck as they're driving away.

HERO/CRAZY: [Deadpool]: Explosion! [White]: You love explosions! [Yellow]: I DO love explo--

Deadpool is smacked in the head with a sludge hammer.

HERO/CRAZY: [Yellow]: If "A-rated" villain plus "A-rated" hammer make "A++" unbeatable villain… then "F-Rated" hammer plus… [White]: You… concerned at all about those plumbers? [Yellow]: The what?

The mysterious figure reports that he "got them" and leaves the sight while the contractors pull themselves out of the wreckage and then run away with "it" (which they'll come back for later)

Meanwhile, at Deadpool's place…

QUEER: So we have a picture of a fit woman with Bea Arthur's head taped onto it, a conventionally attractive fit Asian man with a goatee. Beside him on the desk is a half eaten pizza, a naked Barbie, a 70$ laundry bill, a jarred frog, medications, and other assorted junk.

HEALING: Deadpool has a large bump on his head from where the sludge hammer hit him.

CLOTHES: Deadpool is wearing sport shorts and a sleeveless sports top: "Hic Beer 7". The pants are riding low and we see his ass crack.

Deadpool is checking out various villains and determines that Walrus is the right guy, the one Deadpool has deemed "worthy of this totally sweet hammer".

QUEER: Yes, Deadpool has totally bejeweled the sludge hammer.

Later, at a monster truck rally…

CRAZY: [Yellow]: Oh, I hope I'm right about this. [White]: Law enforcement hasn't found the Walrus in FIFTEEN years. YOU just want an excuse to see monster trucks.

Fortunately, luck is with Deadpool and he thinks he sees the guy who used to be Walrus acting a mechanic for the monster trucks. He seems like a timid guy, but he has actually rigged the monster trucks to explode and release a giant swarm of wasps. Walrus rips off his clothes to reveal his Walrus costume.

QUEER/CRAZY: [Yellow]: Oh, good. It looks like he's taking off his clothes. I'd better follow him. [White]: I know you're being sarcastic but you're not stopping either.

So Deadpool continues to follow Walrus, whose evil plan seems to be stealing 54$ out of the wallet of the driver whose truck just exploded with flaming bees. It is all around pretty pathetic.

[Yellow]: I don't even…

So Deadpool continues his spying, hang-gliding overhead as Walrus crosses a park.

CRAZY: [White]: Now, I know the dynamite was on sale… [Deadpool]: Yeah, I WIPED out that section of Costco. [White]: But I'm getting concerned. [Yellow]: We just got excited about EXPLOSIVES after seeing that van explode! [White]: You don't have to strap explosives to everything. [Yellow]: Explosives make it convincing!

It is the bejeweled hammer that Deadpool tosses down in front of Walrus.

The Walrus is thrilled to have a mystical hammer. Deadpool flies into a flock of ducks which mangle his glider and set off the rest of his dynamite.

CRAZY: [White]: You brought too much. [Yellow]: Shut up.

So Walrus takes the hammer back to his apartment and uses it to smash a few appliances. He doesn't feel any different and wonders if he needs to microwave it…

That's when Deadpool appears wearing a witch's hat, frown mask, and tattered robe.

HERO: [Deadpool]: I am the Specter of Mass Destruction. And you, Hubert Carpenter, have been chosen to be one of the bearers of a Hammer of Mass Destruction. [Walrus]: I'm sorry, Specter, I think there might have been a mistake. That hammer doesn't really do anything. [Deadpool]: Ah, but it SHALL! There is potential that needs to be unlocked, in both the hammer.. AND YOU!

So Deadpool as the Specter sends Walrus to the same location those plumber-contractors said their next job was at, since we all know that plumbers know where all the hidden gold is.

HERO: [Deadpool]: And then… They'll pay me handsomely to brutally beat your fat heiny out of town.

Meanwhile the plumber-contractors are back at the sight where their van was exploded, but they can't find the hammer. They don't understand where it could have gone, since it's powers should be undetectable at the moment. They must find it, or the people of the town will be slaughtered…

Dun dun dun!

[li-izumi]

Deadpool Comic Appearance Details #293

X-Men Origins - Deadpool #1 Written by Duane Swierczynski, Art by Leandro Fernandez 2010-09

A man pulls up to a house on Mulholland Drive. He sees a trial of blood leading from the house. Another man runs from the house, holding a gunshot wound from his leg.

REP: [Shot guy]: He's INSANE! Run! Run while you still can! I'm tell you man, don't go in there!

The first man is shaken, but he shrugs off the injured man and continues into the house. There he sees Deadpool, holding a smoking gun.

[Deadpool]: Guess you're my 3:30.

Deadpool wants to beat anyone else to the punch before Hollywood turns his story into a movie, by turning his story into a movie first. he's been interviewing screenwriters all day and they "didn't go so well".

After 38-minutes, the screenwriter is super excited.

REP/HERO: [Screenwriter]: Listen, dawg-- we go all Michael Bay on this mother. I'm talking monster brawls. Huge action set pieces. you vs. Sasquatch. You vs. Hulk. Wait, can we get the rights to the Hulk? I don't know. doesn't matter. [Deadpool]: Uh, yeah. I was kind of thinking... [Screenwriter]: Don't be like that, bro, don't be stuck in the old paradigm. You've got to go HIGH-CONCEPT! [Deadpool pulls his gun and points it in the screenwriters face] [Deadpool]: This high? Or maybe a little higher? [Screenwriter]: Wait, what are you... [Deadpool shoots him in the upper arm.]

The screenwriter runs away, holding his injured and bleeding arm.

The next screenwriter isn't much better. He wants to cut out all the "downer" mercenary stuff. He'll change Deadpool's job to country singer and "you're drunk, and broke, and looking to reconnect with your son..."

HERO: Deadpool shoots him in the leg.

Deadpool is out of patience with the next screenwriter, but the next one says he's not here with a pitch, he's here to listen. So Deadpool pours them both a drink and tells him his story.

PAST/ABUSE: [Deadpool narration]: And like so many origin stories, it starts off with me butt nekkid and in a crazy-ridiculous amount of pain. You may ask: how did I end up in this tank of water, sharp needles jabbin my yin-yang and tubes up my hoo-hah-and-how's-yer-mother? I, uh... VOLUNTEERED. [Deadpool narration]: See, it was either painful death from Stage IV cancer-- or these experimental trials up in Canada. And looking back on what happened, some might say I should have taken my chances with the big C.

PAST/HEALING: [Deadpool narration]: As the docs explained it, the experiment was a MIXED BAG. Sure my body could regenerate itself at amazing speeds.

ABUSE/HEALING: [One of the doctors shoots him in the hand. It heals immediately.] [Deadpool]: Ack... Is it... Supposed to... hurt... so much... [Another hits him with a blow torch]

PAST/LOOKS/HEALING/SELF-LOATHING: [Deadpool narration]: But no matter how radical the injury, I still looked like human hamburger after regenerating. Which wasn't exactly useful for top secret assasin-type missions-- Kind of the whole point. I'd stand out too much in a crowd.

PAST: [Deadpool narration]: They told me not to worry, while they sorted it out, I could chill out at a resort to recover. And it was a real club med, if by club med you mean Club Failed Med-ical Experiments. [Deadpool narration]: Rotting away in my cell, I realized I signed on for a fate worse than cancer. At least cancer ends. This went on and on... potentially forever. I had to find a way out.

In his cell, Deadpool sits on the bottom bunk vocalizing how much pain he's in.

PAST/HEALING/ABUSE: [Deadpool]: Ow my skin. Ow my skin. Ow my skin. Ow my skin. Ow my skin. Ow my skin hurts. Ow my skin....

[Many people see the above image and use it to point out how much Deadpool suffers from the Weapon X procedure, and it's possible that it does constantly hurt him as it appears in this image, but at this point, he is actually trying to attract the attention of a guard. And he does.]

PAST/HEALING/ABUSE/REP: [Guard]: Shuddap or I'll give you something to complain about. [Deadpool]: Yeah? You want a shot at the title, tubby? [Guard]: Be GLAD to-- [Deadpool]: Please-- I-I... I'm sorry. It just hurts so much. [The guard leaves, so Deadpool calls out to him again] [Deadpool]: But seriously-- Do you have any Vaseline handy? You know, the kind you use on your stretch marks? [Guard]: Okay, freak--It's on. Wait until you see how much your skin can REALLY hurt.

But this is playing into Deadpool's plan:

PAST/ABUSE: [Deadpool narration]: Ah, bullies. They can't resist kicking the snot out of the little guy. [Deadpool narration]: And I can't resist kickin' the snot out of bullies.

He knocks the guard out and escapes.

HEALING: [Deadpool narration]: You don't know the sheer joy of knowing that, no matter what they through at you, they can't kill you. I'll admit it. It made me a widdle giddy.

He's shot repeatedly by the guards but it doesn't slow him down. He knocks the guards out and keeps going. He escapes and falls back "on the whole mercenary thing" only now he has "certain competitive advantages".

He then goes on to describe an early assignment

CABLEPOOL: [Deadpool]: --killing this grumpy cyborg mutant from the future. Predictably, we ended up BEST FRIENDS. So anyway...

The screenwriter stops him though, and insists that Deadpool tell him more about "Wade Wilson, the man before he put on the mask, before the Weapon X experiment. Before everything."

So Deadpool shifts his story back to his pre-cancer days.

PAST/SELF-LOATHING/ROMANCE/COPYCAT: [Deadpool narration]: You want to hear the truth about Wade Wilson? He was an idiot. Wade Wilson was a mercenary with a moral code--Only took jobs he "believed" in. He was more earnest than a lifetime original movie. In fact, Wade Wilson was pretty much the only mercenary alive who WASN'T in it for the money. He'd go out, kill some dirtbag dictator who deserved it... then go home to his hottie girlfriend in Boston.

QUEER/ROMANCE/COPYCA: [Vanessa]: Wade! Oh, the things I'm going to do to your body... after you shower, of course...

ROMANCE/COPYCAT: Wade puts her off for a moment to check for the mail; he's expecting a letter from  the NYU Medical. It's the letter he's been dreading: the diagnosis of his cancer. He collapses onto the couch and Vanessa sits with him, assuring him that they can get through this together.

PAST: [Deadpool narration]: But I... er, I mean, Wade Wilson refused. Long ago, he swore not to be a burden to anybody--especially not those he loved.

So Deadpool left, and after a while of bumming around, getting into bar fights, he decided to fight back against the real enemy: cancer. And so he wound up to "this crazy medical experiment up in Canada".

[Deadpool]: Annnnnd you know what happens from there, needles up the yin-yang, et cetera et cetera. Moving on to the cool stuff.

But the screenwriter wants to get deeper about "the young Wade Wilson, before he was a merc for hire. Before he was an adult. What was his childhood like?"

SELF-LOATHING: [Deadpool]: What is this-- Diary of a wimpy merc? Nobody wants to hear that stuff.

PAST/FAMILY: But the screenwriter insists, so Deadpool takes another drink and talks about his dad, telling knock knock jokes at the front door.

PAST/FAMILY/ABUSE: [Deadpool narration]: But one day my dad slipped behind the door. And never came back. I'd do our knock-knock routine, just to see if he was waiting me out. He wasn't.

PAST/FAMILY/ABUSE: [Deadpool narration]: After my dad left, my mom tried to ease the pain with booze and ordering junk from cable T.V. channels. She' joked about everything--even the crippling debt she'd racked up.

PAST/FAMILY/ABUSE/SELF-LOATHING: [Deadpool narration]: I blamed myself: she'd be fine if she didn't have me to worry about. I swore I wouldn't be a burden to anybody, ever again.

PAST: [Deadpool narration]: When I was old enough, I took advantage of the one opportunity open to broke young Americans everywhere.

He joined the U.S. army.

PAST/QUEER: [Deadpool narration]: My superiors said I was a crack shot with a great tactical mind, a born survivor. I didn't have to heart to tell them that's because I practically grew up with a joystick in my hand. No, I don't mean THAT kind of--Oh never mind.

Deadpool went from the army to working on his own.

PAST/HERO: [Deadpool narration]: As long as I agreed with the cause, I'd pull the trigger. Now isn't all that different from then, come to think of it. Except I don't give a crap about the cause. You care too much, you bleed.

NOTABLE: [Deadpool narration]: When you're confronted with a horrible situation, there are only two reactions that make sense: laughter and tears. Tears hurt too much.

Deadpool stops for a moment. He lifts up his mask slightly, complaining of the heat and how stuffy it is, but that is to cover the fact that he is wiping away tears.

He then starts a tale of him against the Hulk, but the screenwriter stops him, having heard enough for the movie.

Thirty-five months later, Deadpool: Origins is premiering.

QUEER: Deadpool attends the premiere with two conventionally beautiful women at his arms.

Deadpool meets the screenwriter at the entrance amidst a media circus. Deadpool says he's avoided the reports and rumors as he didn't want to get his hopes up.

[Screenwriter]: You liked the script? [Deadpool]: No, the script was great. It's just-- [Screenwriter]: Don't worry. It's everything we talked about. You're going to love this.

It is NOTHING like what they talked about.

It starts off wrong, misspelling of his name (Dead Pool not Deadpool), and gets worse as it goes. No torture at Weapon X, over-the-top out-of-place explosions, bad jokes. It's terrible.

Deadpool envisions himself standing up and shooting up the movie theater in a scene that would never have been drawn today since it hits too hard now to be "funny".

He doesn't actually shoot up the theater. He leaves, glumly.

But he does torch the screenwriters car to express his displeasure.

Later, Deadpool drives out to a lone house and knocks on the door. An older man asks who it is.

PAST/FAMILY/LOOKS: [Deadpool]: Wade. [The father]: Wade... Wade who? [Deadpool removes his mask]: Wade until you see what happened to me, Dad.

[li-izumi]

Deadpool's "Type" for based on the Classic Deadpool run

This is a continuation from my last two posts regarding his romances and queerness found in the Classic Deadpool run.

While we fans do tend to say that Deadpool will have anything if they express interest in him, that's not exactly true.

Deadpool idolizes "goodness". Example of that would be his obsession with Siryn. When she showed him kindness/pity regarding his looks, Deadpool fell hard for her, fetishing her "goodness".

He doesn't like out-right villains. He rejects Typhoid Mary's advances several times until the point when it seems like she has renounced her villain ways, and rejects her again when it's clear that she hasn't. She all but disappears from the story, though he does seem to consider her somewhat fondly later on, having a picture of her on his bedside table next to the picture he has of Siryn. I'm not familiar enough with her character outside of her appearance in Deadpool to know if she has changed since the beginning of the Deadpool run to further support my hypothesis.

While he fetishes goodness and is turned off by villains, he doesn't mind morally gray, such as Copy-Cat and Anna (at first). Anna highlights his dislike of villains. He didn't mind when she that she had ties with the mob, and he wanted to help her out because it seemed like she wanted to change. He completely lost interest in her when he found that she killed several innocent people in the process.

Deadpool also has a type for guys: he likes his guys big and beefy, who can throw him down/pin him down (Cable, minotaur-head alien, Kingpin, Thor) and dismisses the "pretty boys" (Shatterstar, Nomad, Loki). His taste will change over time; in later series he appreciates the pretty boys as well (such as the "nubile" young Avengers Wiccan and Hulkling, and Spider-Man).

Speaking of Spider-Man, at this point, he seems to admire the hero as a hero, and has not added any romantic/sexual interest for him.

[li-izumi]

Deadpool Comic Appearance Details 07

X-Force #11 1992-06 Story by Fabian Nicieza, Art by Rob Liefeld

GENERAL Deadpool breaks into the X-force mansion to confront Copycat, runs into a few X-force members. He defeats but doesn't kill the younger fighters, even though he threatens to do so. "no reason to kill today what I could beat up tomorrow" he says. He then confronts and fights Copycat as Domino. Deadpool questions her loyalty and whether she has fallen for Cable. Deadpool defeats her and gives his warning that she can't just walk away from Tolliver.

DETAILS VERSUS: Copycat (as Domino)

QUEER-NESS [Deadpool, to shirtless guy]: Hey pretty boy--COWABUNGA DUDE!! [Deadpool, to same guy]: Oh yeah pretty boy

COPYCAT [Deadpool has a lot of pet-names for Copycat during their fight. He address her with the following]: Honey, darlin, baby, woman, girl, babe, kiddo and as Vanessa [Deadpool to Copycat]: C'mon darlin...is that anyway t'say hello? [Deadpool thinking about Copycat]: I feel so nostalgic...she still packs quite a kick...but she's just playin' hard to get...stringing me along the way she is...what a TEASE! [Deadpool to Copycat]: Then I can't help but bust up that pretty little face of yours some more...even if it is...SOMEONE ELSE'S FACE! [Deadpool to Copycat]: No, babe--enough of YOU! Enough of US! Don't forget WHO you are or WHERE you come from, kiddo. You can dump on ME if you want, but DON'T dump on Tolliver.

TOYS His left blade is a long sword and his right blade is a long knife. Whip.

PAST: [Deadpool to Copycat]: It's your old BOYFRIEND, Deadpool!

[li-izumi]

Deadpool Comic Appearance Details 02

Issue: X-Force #2 Date: 1991-09 Story by Fabian Nicieza, Art by Rob Liefeld

GENERAL Deadpool has been hired by Tolliver to retrieve something. Kane fights Deadpool and defeats him, and then Bridge shows up and shoots Deadpool, ending Deadpool's role in the issue. Kane knows Deadpool from the past, and fills in more information about Deadpool via his internal monologue, particularly establishing Deadpool constantly chattering and using that to goad and distract opponents.

DETAILS

REP: [Kane]: Tolliver wants it, like he wants EVERYTHING. He hires prime-merc meat like DEADPOOL and some rent-a-thugs to snatch it [Kane]: His mouth runs a mile a minute. Some things NEVER change. Don't let him goad you, do-not-let-him-distract-you! [Kane]: Don't talk to him, you IDIOT! That's how he SUCKERS his opponents. Lulls them. [Kane]: Have to give you credit, lowlife that you are--you always WERE good.

QUEER-NESS [Deadpool regarding Tolliver]: Well, sheez, it's not like we're LOVERS or nothin'! The guy just cuts the paychecks and I cut the throats.

PAST: [Kane, still thinking about Deadpool]: This guy's good, but he's over the hill. He's gotta be pushin' THIRTY-FIVE by now. [Kane]: It ends where it began, Deadpool. Wanna sing a chorus of Oh, Canada. [Deadpool]: I HATE this country. I've ALWAYS hated this country. I hated DEPARTMENT H. I hated the WEAPON X program. And I hated YOU, you dirty-nosed pre-pubescent PUNK!

Seriously, Deadpool goes from being asked "I hope he's worth going to jail" to "lovers".'"