Sep 1, 2019
Friend: Come on we're going to be late for class
Me: Be more chill
Friend:
Me: what
Friend: ooookay. Hey look, a sheet for the after school play!
Me: it's a sign-up sheet for getting called gay
Friend: hey don't be rude
Me: I like gay people
Friend, thoroughly weirded out: um, OK. Let's go to class now.
Me: OK. C-c-c-c-c'mon, c-c-c-c-c'mon, let's go!
Friend: wtf
Me: you need a SQUIP
Friend: a what
Me: a SQUIP. A Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor.
Friend: what is that, drugs?
Me: it's better than drugs. *singing* IT'S FROM JAPAN!
Friend, dragging me to the nurse: c'mon buddy, I think you're delirious
Edit. If you want more of this, go follow my other blog @michael-hiding-in-the-bathroom