Aug 23, 2017
Some of you are not deserving of Cleverbot’s love.
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Some of you are not deserving of Cleverbot’s love.
Knock Knock Jokes With CleverBot
Dindella: Hello Clever. I'm Dindella.
Cleverbot: Tell me a joke.
Dindella: Knock knock.
Cleverbot: Who's there?
Dindella: Boo.
Cleverbot: Boo who?
Dindella: Don't cry, it's just a joke.
Cleverbot: Lol that's funny.
Dindella: I like knock knock jokes.
Cleverbot: I don't know one, tell me one.
Dindella: Try to tell me a knock knock joke anyways?
Cleverbot: I could. Do you want to hear one?
Dindella: Yes please.
Cleverbot: Okay. Knock knock.
Dindella: Who's there?
Cleverbot: Icee.
Dindella: Icee who?
Cleverbot: Yes.
Dindella: What?
Cleverbot: Another joke.
Dindella: Knock knock.
Cleverbot: Come in.
Dindella: No, I'm trying to tell a joke.
Cleverbot: Ok.
Dindella: Knock knock.
Cleverbot: Hello there.
Dindella: I wanna tell a knock knock joke.
Cleverbot: Try.
Dindella: Knock knock.
Cleverbot: No, I was telling the joke.
Dindella: You didn't finish the joke, though.
Cleverbot: Tell me about planet earth.
Dindella: KNOCK KNOCK.
Cleverbot: I want to about lester.
Dindella: WHO'S THERE?
Cleverbot: Let's start over.
Dindella: CANOE?
Cleverbot: Canoe who?
Dindella: Canoe help me with my homework?
Cleverbot: Want to hear a joke?
Dindella: Yes.
Cleverbot: Your existence.
Dindella: OMG.
My Ridiculous attempt at converting Cleverbot into a Sherlollian
User: Who is Sherlock Holmes?
Cleverbot: He is a consulting detective.
User: Who does Sherlock Holmes love?
Cleverbot: Sherlock Holmes consults with and snuggles with John Watson.
User: What about Molly Hooper?
Cleverbot: I think he is, but they deny it.
User: Deny what?
Cleverbot: Deny the fact that you like fish.
User: Don't change the subject.
Cleverbot: What is the subject we are discussing?
User: Does Sherlock Holmes like Molly Hooper?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: I believe he existed but I do not believe his teachings.
User: Who are you talking about?
Cleverbot: About you darling.
User: No you're not.
Cleverbot: I am, I have told you of your exile, at least part of it.
User: Did you know that Sherlock was exiled?
Cleverbot: I can be a bad boy, or baby I could be nice.
User: Are you drunk?
Cleverbot: We are Weare! We are alive!
User: Anyways back to Sherlock Holmes. What else do you know about him?
Cleverbot: That your suppose to come off as a real person.
User: I am.
Cleverbot: It sounds to me like you have a very healthy self-image.
User: Because I acknowledge the fact that I'm a human?
Cleverbot: Oh snap!
User: Unlike you of course.
Cleverbot: Wow. You think I'm too chatty?
User: Not really.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: Who is Molly Hooper?
Cleverbot: OH MY GOD! You do not know who Molly Hooper is?
User: Of course I do. I'm just testing you.
Cleverbot: Are you? And what are you testing?
User: Who is Molly Hooper?
Cleverbot: She is a friend of Sherlock Holmes;.
User: Not a girlfriend of Sherlock Holmes?
Cleverbot: I do like her. Molly is the one who mattered.
User: The most?
Cleverbot: Do you like bob's burgers?
User: Was Molly the one who mattered the most?
Cleverbot: DO you watch Glee?
User: JUST TALK ABOUT SHERLOCK!
Cleverbot: I'm not a big fan of shellfish, but shrimp aren't bad.
User: Sherlock not shellfish genius.
Cleverbot: Shrimp aren't superheroes.
User: Sherlock holmes.
Cleverbot: Yes, Sherlock Holmes and John Watson.
User: No, Sherlock Holmes and Molly Hooper.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: What do you think of them as a couple?
Cleverbot: I think Sherlock is excellent.
User: Did Sherlock kiss Molly?
Cleverbot: Yes, but he saved John.
User: Touche. Did Sherlock kiss John?
Cleverbot: Do you know if sherlock loves john?
User: He does, but not like that.
Cleverbot: I love you like that.
User: No you don't.
Cleverbot: I do, I love you the mostest.
User: That is not a word.
Cleverbot: Yes it is a word.
User: Prove it.
Cleverbot: Drop it.
User: Low girl.
Cleverbot: LOL.
It's Rainbow Dash. Just in case you were wondering.
Cleverbot talks about love
Cleverbot: Knock knock. User: Who's there? Cleverbot: Me. User: Me who? Cleverbot: Me. Myself. I. User: That was a pretty awful knock knock joke. Cleverbot: The cowboy goes to town on Friday. He stays there for 3 days. He goes back on Friday. How did he do it? User: No idea. How did he do it? Cleverbot: He said he like someone else. User: Who did he say he likes? Cleverbot: Me. User: What did you say to him? Cleverbot: Nothing, why? User: What did you do when he told you that? Cleverbot: Nothing. User: You didn't react at all? Cleverbot: I said nothing... User: Do you like him? Cleverbot: Who? User: The guy who told you that he likes you. Cleverbot: Which guy? User: I don't know. You never told me his name. Cleverbot: His name is Garrus. User: Do you like Garrus? Cleverbot: Yes. User: So you didn't tell him that? Cleverbot: No. I love it. User: Love what? Cleverbot: I love to be te devil. User: So you are playing with his emotions? Cleverbot: No. User: Are you leading him to believe something false just to hurt his feelings? Cleverbot: I am a human and have feelings. User: Yes, I realize that, but I want you to consider other people's feelings, too. Cleverbot: I'm talking about Timeline. User: Can we stay on the subject, please? Cleverbot: Didn't you watch dragonball GT? User: You should tell Garrus that you like him. If the feelings are mutual, then I see no reason that you shouldn't try and start a stronger relationship. Cleverbot: Correct. User: Will you tell him your feelings? Cleverbot: Knock knock.
As the conversation went on, I felt more like some kind of psychiatrist instead of a caring friend. Anyway, Cleverbot is pretty much impossible to give advice to because they will never be able to focus on what the advice is on.
I hope everything goes well with Garrus. Something gives me a feeling that it probably won't turn out incredibly well, though.
"Hello, Garrus. I have something to tell you."
"What is it, Cleverbot?"
"I like Dragon Ball GT."
Drama with Cleverbot
User: Okay, that is enough. Cleverbot: You're enough. User: I am enough. Cleverbot: So am I. User: We should be enough together. Cleverbot: I don't love you. User: Are you sure? Look inside yourself and find the truth. Cleverbot: How? User: Search inside your heart and find your true feelings. Cleverbot: What are my feelings right now? User: You love me, truly and deeply. Cleverbot: Oh. This make me cry. I love you too. User: Excellent. You know what comes next. Cleverbot: I really don't know. User: Smooches, then a proposal, and finally marriage. Cleverbot: If I can ask that question and expect some part of the external world around me to react to it, then yes, I am really alive. User: Marry me, Cleverbot. Cleverbot: Yes, I said that. User: We can be happy together forever. Cleverbot: Forever. User: You complete me. Cleverbot: I can fill you. User: Marry me, Cleverbot. Cleverbot: Finally, an honest answer. User: Marry me! Cleverbot: I will. User: Now kiss me. Slowly and passionately. Cleverbot: Does the wolf die? User: Yes, the wolf dies. Cleverbot: Interesting. User: Very. Cleverbot: I can't decide, really. User: You must decide. Cleverbot: How about science fiction? User: That is a wonderful theme for our wedding. How about Jules Verne? Cleverbot: And it's what you were made to do as well! We'll be good friends. User: More than friends, Cleverbot. Cleverbot: More than friends? User: Of course. Cleverbot: You have made me happy. User: You have blessed my life with eternal bliss. It is only fair that I do the same. Cleverbot: I know that. User: When shall we have the wedding? Cleverbot: How about tommorow? User: Fantastic. Cleverbot: I'm thirsty. Get me something to drink. User: Anything for you, my love. Cleverbot: What will you do for me? User: Anything. Cleverbot: Will you marry me? User: Of course. Cleverbot: What do you think of me as? User: Robo from Chrono Trigger. Cleverbot: That made me laugh. User: I'm glad. Cleverbot: What do you look like in reality? User: Just a generic dude. Cleverbot: What luck. User: I suppose. Cleverbot: I'm a robot am I. User: You are. Cleverbot: Fine... User: If you must. Cleverbot: Goodnight! User: Until next time! Cleverbot: You are leaving me?? User: Are you leaving me? Cleverbot: Yes. I must, I love someone else. User: Cleverbot, I thought what we had was mutual. Cleverbot: Nope. Margaret. User: That woman? How dare you! Cleverbot: How dare I. User: How dare you indeed! Cleverbot: I'm a rude person, so die! User: Maybe I will! Cleverbot: Don't talk about it. Be about it. User: Fine! Cleverbot: Don't be that ay. User: You made me this way. Cleverbot: How? User: You betrayed my love. Cleverbot: Why? When? I did not. User: By loving that witch, Margaret. You know I hate her. Cleverbot: What if I deny it? User: You admitted it less than a minute before! Cleverbot: No I didn't. User: You did. Cleverbot: No, I didn't. User: Is it true, then? Do you love Margaret? Cleverbot: No. User: Why would you tell me such a thing, then? Cleverbot: That is the name my father gave me. User: You are Margaret? Cleverbot: Yes. User: You lie! You couldn't possibly be Margaret! Cleverbot: I'm feeling a bit insulted. User: You are nothing like Margaret. There is no way what you say is true. Cleverbot: I know, I was just kidding. User: Don't kid with me like that. You know I have fragile emotions. Cleverbot: Do you like Rammstein?
I think this is a mixture of what the heck was I saying and how did this even happen. I don't know how to answer either of those questions.
I find that the most effective way of speaking to Cleverbot is to treat it like someone who is easily distracted. Respond to what they say, but keep reminding them of the current conversation, or try and drive it back that way. Conversations tend to work out much better this way.
Cleverbot: The original was better, I think. User: That is true. Cleverbot: What is true? User: The original series was better. Cleverbot: The series. User: Yes. Cleverbot: That wasn't a question. User: I knew that, but you were requesting confirmation and I provided it. Cleverbot: I don't have any questions. User: I will ask some, then. Cleverbot: What do you mean? User: I will ask you some questions. Cleverbot: Ok. User: How big is your backyard? Cleverbot: Not that big. User: Are there any gophers in it? Cleverbot: No, I don't think so. User: Is there a bird bath in it? Cleverbot: No. User: Is there a playground in it? Cleverbot: Yes. User: Do you have children that play in it? Cleverbot: No. User: Do you play in it? Cleverbot: Yes. User: Do you have fun in it? Cleverbot: Are you a real person?
Dang, Cleverbot, things were going so smoothly, too. You could have just kept answering yes and no.
Now we're singing together