Hello trans men and mascs of Tumblr! I'm currently looking into the concept of sexuality in the transmasculine community! Right this second, that takes the form of an anonymous survey - which is intended to discover the transmasculine community's various kinks/fetishes/desires and how they relate to that transmasculine identity.
It is completely anonymous unless you'd like to contact me for followup, and no identifying information will be published. The survey takes about 10-15 minutes and covers many aspects of identity, but may be updated in the future.
Thank you for your time, and do drop us a reblog if you can!
Gooooood morning Trigun fandom, I'm up bright and early, ready to sink my teeth into today's analysis/detailed watchthrough episode - 11. To A New World.
I can't believe we're almost done with @tristampparty. These 12 days have been a blast and I'm very glad that I got to chat abt them!! I've been in a bout of artblock recently too, so I'm glad that I can just ramble instead!
Spoilers for Trigun Stampede and Trigun Maximum, and CWs for. okay this one is a Lot, but discussion of violation of bodily autonomy, sexual assault and trauma, pregnancy, transphobia, harm coming to children, Millions Knives in general, Vash's passive suicidal tendencies. If I think of any more I'll pop them up here but this episode is a heavy one!
If you wanna skip those first few CWs (Totally understandable <3), you can skip the paragraphs labelled with a [CW] at the front.
[CW] Okay so we're gonna tail off the end of Episode 10 for a second, but uh. Knives in this scene is using extremely Loaded Language to outright tell Vash that there is something wrong with him that needs to be fixed.
Just to be clear I do think Vash is very trans-coded (intentionally or not), and that very strongly influences how I interpret this scene - I myself am a trans man as well.
Cool, moving on! That's all really for the end of ep 10, I just needed to point out that Knives is using language that is commonly used to justify corrective sexual assault; which is pretty much what my reading of this scene is analogous to.
what in the fresh hell i got jumpscared by dub again. returning to subs hold on a moment. Like i've been checking dub occasionally to match up some dialogue and make sure I'm not being misled by Subtitle Jank but I'm one of those guys who can't listen to anything without subtitles lmao
But i also think i do get the funniest possible translation of this line - actually wait no i hate the double meaning (with Vash's body being used to kickstart the pregnancy imagery). was that intentional. who did this.
Anyway Meryl kicking Wolfwood is really funny but also like. Yeah. justified. She's having a no good awful time but like. She's so willing to believe in Vash, to chase after him even into Extremely Dangerous conditions (There's those hints of Trimax Meryl again....) and Wolfwood is being an ass here. (An understandable ass. But an ass nonetheless). Which is to say YEAHHH MERYL GET HIS ASS!!!
Knives' gay little like. bodysuit here. He and Vash have the same build but their respective clothes make them stand out very differently. Also that Knives' stuff seems to have more muscle definition (HYDRATE. You shouldn't have that Knives you need water :pensive:) which could be building towards his more intimidating appearance.
Also I'd be a fool to not show everyone my initial reaction to this
I've talked a little bit about how Vash uses his gun as a tonfa (thwacky baton) most of the time in melee combat, and I think that's a great way to show him utilizing something Knives gave him to Kill as a nonlethal weapon - in this, however, he doesn't have it and his normally very fluid very good form martial arts is flailing and panicked. Vash is pretty good at keeping his cool in most combat situations, and is a very skilled fighter. Seeing him lose that cool and just start struggling when Knives tries to grab him is :(
Once again the metal/organic dichotomy is coming into play - the creation of inorganic but the destruction that comes from the organic. Typically plant (as in flora) powers in media lend themselves to being creation powers, life, and healing. But Vash here has that plant (flora) theme but those are very much a force for destruction.
Also Knives with the angelic white, and Vash with the black.
I hate Conrad So Much (he's such a good character). Like we Know to some extent that dependent plants are self-aware enough to feel pain, to hold onto memories, to hatred, to love. They don't have consciousness the same way humans or Independents do, but they feel, they live, they understand what Vash tells them. Maybe it is a shallow form of themselves. But I think something a lot of people fail to realize is that (some, not all, because they are individuals even throughout a hivemind) plants appear to enjoy their purpose.
Once again the memory that is shared with Knives in Trimax of a woman and her child thanking the plant for her service and she smiles? After being fused, that plant held onto that memory. I've been given no reason to believe that plants in Tristamp are different, so Conrad is just,,, ignoring the subtleties of plants and taking away their agency to choose for themselves. Doubly so for Knives, who can communicate efficiently with them.
A very quick blink and you'll miss it detail is that Vash says "It was our fault humans crashed here!". The shifting blame and guilt between the two is something that is fighting the narrative allll the time, but Vash attributing to both of them as an appeal to Knives is interesting to relay how he feels.
I also don't think Vash is right, though, when he says the only reason humans abuse plants is because they crashed. Tesla was before, Chronica in Trimax has apparently seen independent fusions before (For what reason?). Like yeah to this extent it's a result of the big fall, but there'd still be problems without it. Nobody is right in this argument lmao
(except me. I'm always correct about everything ever)
[CW] Once again - violating Vash's consent and autonomy because he does not agree with or differs from Knives. Corrective violation, in this case. It's also important that it's Meryl who calls this out - she has to really really struggle for her autonomy to be important. She's small, carry-able, inexperienced, doesn't have any special powers or genetic modification. She's carrying a tiny gun from a man who can never back her up anymore. In fact, nobody is backing her up! She's out here alone! But she's sticking up for Vash. She cares about him,,,, so much
SURPRISE ROBERTO ATTACK [sobs]
Meryl pulled the nail out of him and placed his hands gently over the wound, as one might do in a casket. A memorial of cigarettes and his flask. All this will be destroyed soon, but Meryl did give him a funeral to the best of her ability.
Knives using Roberto's image is cruel as hell. Not to Vash but to ME. He's already dead you can't do this to meeee. "How do you think they'll react when they learn you caused the big fall" He will never learn it!! he never got the chance!!!
So fun fact you can actually eat geraniums. It's just that if Rem had said yes Vash probably would have eaten it right there and then. I've made that mistake before (told one of my class that nasturtiums were edible and he just ate one. right from the plant)
So; the Tesla scene. Something I do want to point out is that Rem finds them almost immediately, and Knives doesn't immediately pass out - Is he still catatonic enough to miss Rem's speech, or did he hear it? Because the reason that Vash turned out like he did is because he was awake to go through that with Rem - Knives was unconscious the entire time and didn't get to start that trauma recovery.
It's also important to recognize that these memories could be unreliable, especially as Knives tampers with them later.
I do want to know which version of the Bible Knives was reading. Because depending on translation/version, you can get Very different ideas out of that.
Anyway Knives is kind of beginning his spiral in that memory - "Humanity never learns" kinda shit, which seems to take place after Tesla. Who knows how long. But baby Vash calls that out and goes "yeah lets have faith"! Baby Knives looks a tad shocked and then Present Knives just. Cuts off the memory. What was the ensuing conversation!!! Hello???
Like he's clearly Having Thoughts (The Horror), we just don't get to know what those were.
So remember when I said it was interesting that Vash said it was "our" fault that the ships crashed, sharing the blame?
Yeah that gave Knives some ammo that just. Broke him. Shifts it allllll to Vash. Update Vash's description to running on 18 guilt complexes, CPTSD, and bisexuality.
[CW] There's so many different forms of assault, metaphorical and. Not. That is happening in this scene from mind violation to Knives literally using Vash's (specifically Vash's) body as a vessel to impregnate other plants which. Hey did you know that pregnancy is a massive fear of a lot of trans men. So many transphobes reduce trans men to their capability to have children, as if that's all they're good for (even if it would kill them.), and that often leads to corrective rape in order to "remind them of biological reality". In this case, Vash is a plant, he's meant to create, and yet he doesn't. But he's still being used to create anyway.
Again, Meryl also directly calls out Vash's lack of consent and gets shot down by Conrad. The whole scene is just. Hgnrhgnhrhnrnrn. It's So,,, everything to me, because it's a really good scene and shows you how far gone Knives is in Tristamp.
There are panels in Trimax that are,,, the imagery is there, but it's very overt in Tristamp.
Also hey yeah. Why is Conrad still alive?? Did he have access to cold sleep? or it's probably the robotics but did he not think of enhancing humans that way? It might just be a temporary solution, I guess, given that he is. Actively coughing up blood.
Alright! I have finished this part of the analysis that I always Feel Strongly about lmao - I have fun doing it but that's such an emotionally heavy episode.
the AMOUNT of times i have seen a cool blogger today and then gone to their blog to follow them only to be confronted with an honestly weird amount of dismissal/outright hatred for trans men, transmasculine people, and/or butches is actually insane
Oh Boy I Love Taking My Literal Gender 101 Class And Then Logging Onto Tumblr To See People Discoursing About It In Ways That Show Me None Of You Have Taken Anything Of The Sort
Aw man. Today's the last day of @tristampparty and I am surprisingly sad about it. I'll be catching up the days I missed at some point, but I've chucked all that I've written, including today, into a google document and I apparently wrote 7.5k words over the course of episode 6 to today.
That's! A Lot!
I really wanna thank everyone who reblogged and gave me their additional thoughts/commentary, and special thanks to Revenantghost for organizing this whole thing! you do good work for this fandom i am giving u a gold star
With that, here we go into Episode 0 - High Noon at July. CWs for pregnancy discussion and a less detailed than last time but still present analysis of sexual assault and transphobia, marked with a [CW] Ofc, spoilers for Trimax and Tristamp
Cowboy kid Knives is something u can pry from my cold dead hands but it's also,,, I don't watch a lot of westerns, but the way Knives describes it seems like he likes the high action and justice. Which yea. yeah.
A lot of ppl interpret Vash then saying that he doesn't like that sorta stuff as him having always had pacifistic tendencies but I don't really read it that way? I just see him being rather similar to Trimax Vash - chill kid with his own interests and hobbies and Knives being the very oversensitive kid so outshines him initially.
Regardless of version of Trigun (except 98. 98 didn't know shit about knives lmao), Vash and Knives have always started off wanting to coexist and be peaceful; it's just how they reacted to it later that differs. In this case, Knives wants to stand up for his friends and make a peaceful world through that, and Vash is more passive in that he just wants to have faith in humanity.
Not to mention they are kids. Young, idealistic kids. This is pre-Tesla, they don't know the extent of how horrible the world is. The loss of innocence and subsequent breakdowns relating to The Horrors is yet to come.
[CW] Mmmmm they really don't make the pregnancy imagery subtle now do they dfgkjdfjk
I also think there's like - merit in also interpreting Knives as trans. Not Just because i think he's also very trans coded (A lot of his breakdowns and story arcs have reflections in how some trans men overcompensate masculinity in a Bad Way. That's a very small subsection of trans guys btw but I am speaking from experience. I got better tho). Anyway it makes the fact that Knives is disregarding Vash's bodily autonomy very much Worse if you take the male plants are trans analogy into it.
He's so far gone that he's willing to do to Vash what would be the worst thing to be done to him; Violating his body to rebuild and make him a perfect independent ("remind him of biological reality"), physically overpowering him ("taking the aggressor, commonly masculine role in sexual assault") to do what he wants. Disregarding the wants and needs of the Plants ("women +fem-presenting ppl that he originally set out to protect because he knew their experience and wanted to help and still has that trauma from witnessing that trauma")
Ofc that's just a reading of the scene, but I quite like it as a trans guy because that makes a really good villain with trans themes/motifs! I hate him so much (affectionate)
No, no she doesn't. Meryl is making a choice and she's gonna damn well stick to it! She's been given agency and she's gonna spend it in the most eldritch horrific scene that someone on that planet could spend it lmao. Well, no Knives takes most eldritch and horrific. Meryl's second tho
Okay this fucking scene drives me INSANE. This is a memory, clearly, but it's one that's being tampered with. Vash asks Knives if they can get along with humans, and then Knives immediately messes with the memory to make sure that he says that he'll protect Vash no matter what. But that is very clearly not what was originally said, so... What did he say? What was present day Knives so desperate to cut off?
I've talked about the narrative being biased against Knives a lot, but something I haven't talked about is that Knives kinda tries to contribute to that narrative a lot. He wants to seem like he never cared about humans, he wants to seem like he always planned this and was going for justice ever since he was a kid. He tells Vash the Tesla incident was just a small grain of sand, he uses Luida to tell everyone he wants to kill Rem, he's unbearably cruel to Vash to make his point. The only difference is that he wants to be right.
So he doesn't let us see what the kid version of him says, because that would contradict the narrative he's built for himself.
I really wanna give props to Studio Orange here for both the design and way they modelled the wing here, that's a really difficult task when the guy you're putting a wing on has a tight as hell bodysuit. But the anatomy holds up surprisingly well!
Also many people have pointed out that the plant mech looks a lot like Rem, and Knives staring into the face of a Plantish representation of his mother that is created and controlled subconsciously by his brother and saying he was rejected is. It sure is a scene!
ONCE AGAIN. INCREDIBLE EFFECTS. I also would like to once again point out the angelic motifs of Knives' design here.
Also Vash saying this is SO important because Meryl!!! is so important!!! I see a lot of people brush Meryl's space in the story off and it Enrages me because Meryl is one of the most important people to Vash. Aside from our frontline yaoi soldier Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Meryl has one of the most tangible impacts on Vash's character.
When Vash is in his breakdown in Trimax, Meryl is the one to kneel at his side and believe in him; When Vash is having his god awful horrible mindscape time in Tristamp, Meryl does the same. When Meryl is kidnapped in Trimax, Vash instantly jumps out of a window in the chance of getting her back. Vash trusted her enough to fire the ion cannon in the sand steamer episode. He immediately went to July the moment she and Roberto were kidnapped.
Meryl has so much faith in Vash and she's insane for that, but Vash recognizes her and that faith pays off in giving him the strength to carry on. He heard her voice, too :]
Also oh to be floating slowly down to the floor while you're a meter away from a cube with the power of an atom bomb while someone named Millions Knives is summoning millions of knives in front of u. Meryl has guts, man.
And now that Vash has gotten his gun back, he's back to using it as a tonfa! (check I think my analysis of episode 7 for more on that). Watching for the swing blocks, the forearm guard, and thwacking the knife tendrils out of the way
This fight scene has soooo much love and care and detail in it I love it so much actually. From seeing Vash's bullets to all the expressions and beautifully detailed firing, there's so much detail in a quick space that you really have to slow it down to see everything.
Seriously how strong is Knives to be able to have a feasible chance again Vash's prosthetic - and Vash matches him! Also the chomp
Now something that I have the shakiest of theories on is that after summoning The Cube, Vash starts moving in a far more controlled manner, he stands still when reloading, he has his movement flurries and then stands still to aim. Which uh. Studio Orange works in 3d, but those are 2d animation techniques. He's moving like 98 Vash.
There's a lot I admire about Studio Orange's use of 3d (I am a mid-tier 2d artist lmao) but I love love love that they're able to get all these really nice, creative camera shots that would be impractical in 2d (all those overhead shots, for example, have a chance of turning about bad/looking weird in 2d, and puts more strain on animators, but 3d you have the models from every angle already. 3d isn't easier by any means, but it does have its strengths)
Also. how Did Wolfwood get over here, dare I ask. mans climbed a tower in just a few minutes what is Wrong with him
Also a nice detail, Vash usually has perfect trigger discipline, but he falters here against Knives, probably because he's been already shooting, but hey, he's stressed. I'll give him a break.
I also appreciate exactly how superhuman Wolfwood is now. Tristamp Wolfwood is on a different level. Like 98 Wolfwood is just some (attractive) guy, Trimax Wolfwood has a lot of gory body horror going on and a subtle kind of endurance/strength, but Tristamp Wolfwood just jumped off a very tall building holding a grown woman and the Punisher and was fine.
Oh hey, same symbol on the tower as was on the sandsteamer and on Vash's wanted poster - symbol of July, probably
Very horribly, Knives probably did just save Vash's life here. But also the rest of July's life (though ofc he just extended the timer)....
I'm not quite sure When Vash started using plant bullets, but he's definitely using them now. Also the nails on his prosthetic are a nice touch!
THE FLYING SAUCER STRIKES AGAIN. I wonder if that's gonna be the basis of the Ark, if that's the route season 2 goes.
I also. Was that allI the Plants collected that escaped in this, or were there a bunch still running in July that get obliterated too? Did Knives inadvertently cause the death of more plants? I mean, when Knives gets revived in Trimax he definitely causes the death of at least 2 plants (there are a couple of bulbs in the background of the blast radius, plus the one that was used to revive him... she uh. Didn't look like she was doing so hot)
Vash's little speech is always so,,, intense. He has such a strong sense of character and it's admirable how well he sticks to his morals despite it all.
On a more body horror note, Knives can survive a long fucking time trying to grab The Cube. In Trimax he gets hit with the angel arm and practically disemboweled instantly, but Tristamp Knives can take over a minute of just like. being right in the direct path of fire. They're really gonna have to work to reconstruct him. Good luck, Legato!
UFO SPOTTED !!! LEAVING JULY AS IT IS DESTROYED !! NOT CLICKBAIT !!!
^ I made that long ago and needed to use it somewhere dfgkjdfg
[RAUCOUS CHEERING]
And ofc I have to bring up Eriks :] I don't actually have too much to say abt him. Studio Orange strip this man and make him bark like a dog next season or we will riot
CHRONICA MENTION!!!!! YAYYYYYY
And that's kinda. It.
Man I have had such fun over the last 12 days, I've really discovered a love for analyzing and theories and putting that out there and chatting with people about Trigun :] I should do this more often lmao but I do want to get back to drawing. I'll find a balance, then!
Thank you all for coming, and Wow if you made it this far I must be doing something right lmao.
Good afternoon everyone, late analysis/detail watch for @tristampparty today! Had a busy day and I am ready to chill out by being so so normal about Trigun ^_^
Spoilers for Trigun Stampede and Trimax, CW for me discussing/theorizing abt Vash's injuries + discussion of harm coming to children specifically!
Roberto is my old man blorbo (he is not that old) and I essayed Hard about him today, good luck reading!
So when I originally watched this episode when I saw the tower I was like oh flying saucer haha!
and then it is a flying saucer. I hate that (/j)
the bugs under the rock when I lift it up:
On a more serious note I do like the transition from Wolfwood getting REALLY jumpy (to the point of like. Punching Vash for sneezing. babygirl there are better ways to cope with bringing the man you adore to what is probably his doo- actually there probably isn't, he's on his own) to them working extremely in sync to try and get away from the guards - even in the two months that they've been traveling together they've developed that back to back fighting style. It's very sweet, and I think that aspect of them is heavily emphasized in 98 actually, episode 9 when Wolfwood first appears. I really do miss that episode's story, I think it's my favourite standalone plot :]
Again take this with a grain of salt because my subtitles are Janky, but this line hits me real hard [Where Vash is telling Wolfwood not to shoot at the July guards]. They're at July, this is where Wolfwood needs to hand Vash over despite all his inner conflict; but he values the orphanage, it's so important to him. Would the morally righteous thing to do be trying to fight alongside Vash out of this? Possibly. But the risk is too great; It's not the time to be a saint.
Both of their expressions here - Wolfwood stepping back then forward to try and push Vash out the way, or block the bullet, and Vash just slowly lowering his arms with that real haunted look.
Studio Orange once again knocking it out of the PARK with their facial expressions
[Purging the Vashwood from my system for just a moment] He really does just. Grab him around the waist huh. He doesn't try to spin Vash around to assess the damage, or immediately drag him away, but most importantly he doesn't shoot back. Not after Vash asked him to.
Why's this bitch not clean his table!!! The hell!!! Unsanitary. Or... Or someone was just there. Not sure what's worse at that point. It's also that the shape of that cross is also to accommodate children
[Tucking these screenshots into my purse for safekeeping] [Also CWing this section for a little bit of injury discussion] Most of the injuries here aren't necessarily the scars that Trimax and 98 Vash have, which makes me wonder if he's going to get more post-July. In any case, a lot of these look like failed/only partial skin grafts or wounds that required skin grafts but did not get it [Just trust me on that, don't look it up if you can't stomach gore].
I wonder if Vash can't receive skin grafts due to the sheer amount of scarring/can't receive any donated grafts due to differences in biology, or if he's just... not been able to get them healed. Some of it appears to be patched up with metal, but the rest of it.... Mm.
Anyway!
I think it's very telling that the thing that Roberto starts really speaking up on is challenging Conrad on his treatment of orphans and disadvantaged people. Roberto's a reporter, so of course he's going to have seen how powerful people often use the marginalized as their playthings; and Roberto does have a pretttty good moral code when it comes to it. Time and time again he's chosen to help Meryl instead of preserve his own life.
And now he's actively taking Meryl's side, challenging Conrad, sticking up for people, which. One of the first hints of Roberto that we got that wasn't him being so gruff was his defense of Vash (who was getting the shit beaten out of him) in the very first episode.
I've talked at length abt how children are. Kind of the most precious thing to most people on Gunsmoke/NML - so many of the individual stories revolve around parents and children, brothers, siblings, Wolfwood and Hopeland, Legato sparing all the children in that village in 98, Elendira leaving a gaggle of children alive to bury Livio in Trimax. I particularly remember a scene in Trimax volume 14, chapter 3, when the feathers are falling and a young girl has lost her mother, but these big rough and tough men guide her back. I think that's kind of the essence of what Roberto represents to me.
The average person on that planet is rough, traumatized, probably knows how to shoot, they kill each other, they rob, they steal. And yet when it comes down to a little girl crying in the crowd, they will guide her back to her mother. Noman's Land is made up of families; they hurt each other and they commit atrocities, but at the end of the day, that was someone's child, and people try to respect it.
Roberto has a bit of a stronger ethical streak, but he's really kinda hostile to Conrad in this scene (GET HIS ASS ROBERTO WOOO!!!) and I think when he saw children involved that really signaled part of it to him.
It's also that Roberto has developed as a character, being more open and trusting of Meryl, but I also just. The family thing gets me every time (I think it's because I work with children and am a huge advocate for said children, but. yaknow)
[Pointing at him] I love this guy!!! I miss him!!! I really really thought I was gonna hate him but every rewatch i get sadder that he's gone!!!!!
Also he calls out Conrad on being non-empathetic towards, well experimenting on children which is yeah!!! shit!!! Roberto shuts him down like 3 times!! "What matters is how you feel with these children in front of you" GET! HIS! ASS!
Roberto has progressed so so much, with his ability to actually insert himself into situations according to his opinions and ethics, with his relationship to Meryl becoming softer, and then he's just,,, Gone, soon.
On a lighter note, tf you mean Elendira's powers are equivalent to a supply door Conrad she can kill a man!!! I spose a supply door can also kill a man but like. I wonder if she's gonna get. Bigger nails. More powers in the future.
Also a nice parallel of how Roberto kept dragging Meryl back and flinging her away from danger, but now he's grabbed her and is carrying her with him - it feels different. He really really does care about her and it's so evident in these last couple of episodes.
Also Meryl is just pick up-able what can I say.
Roberto being shocked at his ability to deflect Elendira's nails just feels kinda cruel. Man's been spending the entire anime facing horrors beyond his comprehension and he just figured out he can fight against this one, but in the end she's the one who gets him.
Also I talked about Roberto being really standoffish when he realizes children are being harmed? Uh, that's probably what gets him killed. If he'd have shot Elendira here, there is a decent chance he would have lived; if he hadn't hesitated the several times he did, he wouldn't be so rattled. That's... Painful.
"That was close" I hate everyone here [/j]
Not an unpopular opinion, but I'm not a super fan of what they did to Elendira. I'm of the opinion of her character divorced from her Trimax counterpart is really really interesting, but I have to treat her like an entirely different character, so we'll be moving on with that in mind.
So Elendira's been like this for what, twenty years at least? That doesn't seem to line up with how Plants age - Vash and Knives take like 5 years to look like they're fifteen, and. I hope we all know that humans typically take 18-20 years to reach adulthood lmao.
My three theories on why she hasn't aged is that
A) Whichever Plant cells (Probably Tesla's) that they used on her is inhibiting her growth, disallowing her from progressing past a certain point. Perhaps if she ages more something... Bad will happen to her body. Sub-idea, if it is Tesla's cells, they might not be letting her age past the point Tesla was when she died. Which is a little horrific actually.
B) Conrad and/or Knives are the ones not allowing her to grow, for some reason. I don't really have any ideas of what.
But it seems to me that she is somewhat inverse to Wolfwood; she's been living for at least twenty years, trapped in the mind and body of a child. She speaks with the cadence and articulation of an adult most of the time, but her body's pain tolerance and her subsequent reactions are that of an undeveloped mind/body.
That or she just doesn't wanna go through puberty because she's already trans and just doesn't wanna deal with that shit (valid) but, yaknow. I am a very big supporter of "Let Studio Orange cook, they've done pretty good so far!" but Elendira and Razlo are the two I am. Most scared of seeing how they turn out lmao, and even with Razlo I do have some hopes. But Elendira,,, man. I dunno.
Hooo boy. Okay. I'm ready to talk about Roberto again now. I've been talking about how he recently seems to have softened his demeanor specifically towards Meryl, bringing out a lot of that joking tone, but here is particularly on display.
He tells Meryl that it's okay to run away sometimes and that really really. Got to me. Like he wants her to live. He wants her to do whatever she thinks is right, and he wants her to live, and he is going to do what he can in his dying moments to make that better for her.
I miss him :(
I also wonder if he had anything outside of his job. Friends? Family? A partner? Or was he mostly obliterated along with most of July, kept only in memory by his, now Meryl's, derringer?
Also Vash does Not know that Roberto is dead and if he asks about him post-rejoining the gang in season 2 I'll start screaming.
Oh Knives is here! Yippee!!
So uh. The thing with him saying this is, like a Lot of things Knives does/says in Tristamp, is rooted in truth to some degree.
Like uh. Yeah. That is kind of the basis for a Major part of Vash's personality, the guilt complex of Knives shifting the burden and (honestly projecting a lot of his own guilt probably) onto Vash. But to attribute All of Vash's character to just that is disservice, and horrible for Vash to hear.
The thing about Vash is that he tries. He tries so so hard to make things right, even despite the harm that comes to him and the grief and pain of how he lives his life. Even if it were just his guilt, that is still 150 or so years of healing plants, helping children, going from town to town to do what good he can.
Love, in that case, is not inherent, but created. It's hard to just unconditionally love something just because it's in your life, but if you work at it, dedicate yourself, put in the effort, do so much good, then is that not love in itself? Does it really matter the basis if you love, regardless?
Where it becomes a problem with Vash, is when he refuses to kind of,,, accept that he worked for it instead of just having that love inherent to him, because he's so desperate to hold that guilt complex, that "I'm a bad person" close to him
I dunno, I'm autistic, so maybe I have a strange reading of this because I personally have had to work towards the things I hold dear to me, but it's,,, definitely a facet of Vash, to me.
I Do Not Like This Photograph. In Trimax, it seems they took Tesla and Immediately began experimenting on her - Some arguments over ethics with Rem, yeah, but overall the dissenters were overruled. But why have this picture? Tesla is clearly not a baby in this image. Did she have more contact and interactions with the scientists?
The cruelty in Tesla's story, at least in my view, is that she never got to be a character. Her agency was stripped from her by scientists, by death, and then by Knives. We don't know shit about her - did she die cursing all of humanity? Would she have agreed with Knives, that the pain inflicted on her was an example of the great atrocity of humanity? Or would she have decided people can grow and change, that she just got a bad lot, that people are messy and complicated but ultimately capable of love? Did she see Rem, and wonder if she knew humanity better than Tesla did?
We just don't know - will never know - and that's why Knives using her as an excuse for his actions is particularly egregious. Did her death traumatize him and irreparably damage his trust of humans, sending him down a spiral he was too unlucky to fight his way out of? Yes. Does that make it justifiable to try and commit a genocide under her name, assuming she would have wanted that even if there's a possibility she didn't? ....Definitely not.
millions-dykes referred to Conrad as looking "DILFy" in this scene and if I have to suffer that, so do you. sorry
There's a couple of bits of language in that ending scene that I find particularly uh. Interesting (derogatory) (deeply interesting and analysis-worthy), but I'll be saving those for next episode so I'll pop them in there :]
Today was a hell of an essay! Thanks for reading as always, I'm so >:3 about all the fun comments and ideas ppl have added on.
I'm gonna be honest guys, I looked at today's episode and was like Oh No because Episode 9 is my Achilles heel. not that there's nothing to say about it. But that there's so much To say abt it lmao. While 6 & 7 are my favourites, Knives is a character that I see soooooo much like. I need to put him under my microscope.
Anyway, today's analysis/detail watch/@tristampparty is episode 9 - Millions Knives.
Spoilers for Trimax and Tristamp, CW for uh. Knives in general, and enjoy!
It's probably just the angle here, but Knives does look marginally shorter in this shot, and it's extremely funny to me
Okay I did just get jumpscared by being in dub for some reason I was looking for the subtitles and heard English and had The Most dramatic reaction. okay we're normal now.
Knives,,,, Knives Knives Knives,,,, so I, once again, think that the narrative is working against him. It's interesting, then, I guess, that he's the only main character in Tristamp who doesn't get the portrayed-as-younger treatment in Tristamp.
Knives here is experiencing things that Trimax Knives only did way way later; the last run in particular. Trimax Knives witnesses a last run and starts fusing with other Plants midway through Trimax. This scene in Tristamp, however, takes place just 5 years after the Big Fall.
Trimax Knives ends up like he does by spiraling very very quickly after he starts fusing (And he was dead/in a coma for 20 years!); Tristamp Knives, however, has had at least 145 years to build up his power, build up his hatred, go down that spiral. No 20 years of being dead, just alllll that.
In that respect, Tristamp Knives is Trimax Knives taken to the end of that spiral, the extremist endpoint that Trimax Knives never quite achieved because of Vash - he never really had the time to reach the end of the spiral and settle in it, whereas Tristamp Knives has had that going for again, 145 years.
It's a fun inversion of what's going on in Trimax actually - the 20 years between July and the present are what gives most of the main cast their development and personality - They've had the time to develop those coping mechanisms, trauma responses, their characterizations past all the traumatic things that have happened.
Trimax Knives isn't present for those 20 years, he's down and out for the count. So that 20 years of Important development does not apply to him, making him the least Progressed character in Trimax actually.
So to have Tristamp Knives be the inversion of that is really fascinating, because it applies to how extremist he's willing to go, and how,,,, Bad[tm] the actions he takes are.
Some Knives characterization things that I see criminally overlooked are that,,, well, Vash struggles with empathy sometimes, but Knives often feels things far too much, as in a hyper-emotive or overstimulated state (he's autistic ur honour), which is what contributes to his overall spiral - he's so emotionally driven that he doesn't recognize the emotional weight behind his decisions anymore. I don't think he knows quite how much his grief and anger contributes to how he says he hates Rem. He doesn't really explore that but instead just turns it into motivation for himself.
Anyway him feeling things Way too hard is an entire mood and Studio Orange did an incredible job with his expressions.
Like for example, in this sequence he looks like he's about to physically Gag in response to seeing the Plant die
Or this one, where he looks like he's about to cry but shoves his hood over his face hurriedly in case he does. Daily reminder that Knives was the kid who cried a lot
So Vash steps in in the middle of Knives' little breakdown, but he hasn't really Seen that breakdown. To him, Knives is immediately just spouting about how humans are so bad, but from Knives' POV he just watched his sister die while the humans who surround him are unapologetic and uncaring. And that's gotta be devastating for Knives, because Vash really does not understand the context of the situation here. I think that gets to Knives a little bit, and unpauses his breakdown.
The other thing that really cements the Absolutely God Awful Time that Knives is happening is the guards going to grab him. We've already seen Knives be relatively adverse to touch (looking uncomfortable when Rem grabs him), and now he's having a really bad day, he's experiencing Trauma^2, and people just Grab him? Not to be dramatic but I understand the urge to start killing
But he also,,,, doesn't resort to violence first. He literally appeals to everyone's sense of heart, he points out that the Plants are crying out, can't you hear it? And then nobody listens, nobody comes to help him, and at this point there's probably a lot of fear.
A bunch of humans have turned up who are,,, apparently happy to exploit plants, conrad knows he's a plant, and he's being restrained by several people. That's a really scary position to be in, especially if you happen to have seen what happened to, oh, I don't know, Tesla?
Self-defense, in this case, would surely be justified to him.
Also the scene of Knives attempting to get Vash to shoot someone with a gun is a 98-only detail which I love actually - 98 has its moments, even if it's only 3rd in my Top Triguns list! (I love 98 to be clear, I just like Trimax and Tristamp more)
Vash tells Knives that he lost Rem because Rem was protecting Vash, and That's Not A Great Thing To Hear. Knives loved Rem very much and now Vash is telling him that yeah, she's dead because of him. Which he'd definitely known before, but it's such a gut punch to hear your own brother say that, scream it in your face even. Your mother is dead because of you. She was only protecting Vash.
And again, that too much emotion spills over into just inescapable grief and rage that goes into violence and taking it out on Luida which. Yeah. Yeah.
Tristamp fascinates me in that Knives actually has a genuinely good reason to amputate Vash's arm - he's in a haze, and he needs to think quickly, nobody else can do anything, and if that arm goes off it could evaporate everything in the immediate vicinity. So yeah chop chop. It's not a great solution, of course, but it's the quickest one he's got, and also starts desensitizing Knives to violence he commits against Vash. Because, of course, if this one piece of harm had saved Vash's life (which it probably did), then everything else that Knives does is also saving him, right? Right?!
Why does Vash get like. B cups in this scene and only this scene. Top ten questions science can't answer /j
Godddd okay Meryl and Roberto's reaction to seeing plants is,,,, It's nice, actually. I like that Roberto gets to see hope and flora before he dies. I like that the last positive, lovely thing that he gets to experience is the hope of the world. Even if he denies it.
God, Knives telling Vash that he's the reason for the big fall really did a number on him huh. The man is powered on 17 guilt complexes, CPTSD, and bisexuality
worms took her tights can't have shit in noman's land
Roberto also cracks a lot of jokes all the time I miss him. He's so deeply unserious half the time and the other half he's mysterious as fuck. Love this guy. But also the fact that he does try to,,, make the situation better for Meryl by joking with her is very sweet.
Wolfwood has. 0 experience in riding a Thomas because he was never given transport again,,, Why waste fuel and animals when the Punisher can just walk the desert himself? He's not human enough to die of it. ghrngrhgnrgrngrnnnnn
God that's gonna be so good when he gets Angelina though. His own transport,,,,
Zazie doing the lord's work by putting Aotearoa New Zealand front on the Worm Globe, we're so often left out of maps lmao
Alright I have spent some time condensing that Knives rant and it's still. a Lot lmao. Anyway that was my Normal-About-Knives episode, next is my Normal-About-Roberto episode, which I'm super hyped for! yippee!! yay!!!
