Grab a beer and get ready for this long-ass post. I don’t think I even want to proof-read this one.
I had an amazing session with Long Island tonight. I’ve never had such an interesting and fun session with a client before.
We had our role-play session tonight. I was nervous because he asked me to choose the role play scenario this time and I wasn’t sure he would enjoy it. For the first 10 minutes of the session, I don’t think he was that turned on. But, after I made him take his pants off, I think he started to enjoy himself.
I think I did a decent job of choosing a role-play scenario that he would find arousing. However, I don’t think the role I chose to play had a connection for him, emotionally. I want to do a better job of finding roles that encompass the power dynamic he is looking for.
But maybe the actual roles are less important and it’s more about actually playing out the power dynamic no matter the type of character either of us plays.
Another regret I have for the session is using a particular prop. I think I overestimated the usefulness of the prop in the session.
I think he was generally intrigued by the prop. He even took time off to hunt down the prop in a sex shop. I didn’t expect him to even go that far because, at first, because he didn’t seem interested in using it. But, for whatever reason, he changed his mind.
Anyhow, after the end of the session, he gave me his honest feedback about the prop and he said he could have done without it. I should have never brought it up in the first place. Even when he told me he was going to find and buy the prop, I realized my mistake.
Part of suggesting the prop was to demonstrate my “expertise” in BDSM. But in reality, I don’t really understand how this prop is typically used. If I had, I would have realized that the prop was inappropriate for this role play scenario. I didn’t even know how to operate the darned thing in real life. Embarrassing.
I never want to let my ego create a pitfall like that for me again. I often allow my ego to create foibles for me. This is something I want to work on. I want to be an earnest and humble person.
Anyhow, I started to push the right buttons as the session went on (and by “buttons“, I mean the client’s buttons). I do feel accomplished in this session because I finally successfully had us engage in an activity that he’s wanted to since our last role play session.
I apologize for being vague. I don’t particularly like being “vulgar” and I don’t want to create too much spank-bank material for lurking men.
In this case, I handled him in just the right way. I put to use what I had learned on the internet as well as what I had learned from experience. It went well! He responded as I learned he would.
The first time he made this activity request, I think that both of us were tentative about engaging. He didn’t want to be hurt and I didn’t want to look foolish and inexperienced. But I finally went through with it. I don’t think he saw it coming. But, in hindsight, I should have probably told him to expect it. It is possible that he got a little nervous before we began. He may have been concerned I would hurt him. For our next role-play, I need to discuss activities he may not be prepared for.
Anyhow, he enjoyed it, and I hope we have reached a new level of trust.
My least favorite part of the session was using the vibrator. He asked me to bring a vibrator because he’s one of those guys that likes to give women an orgasm in any way possible. I don’t know if it has something to do with being submissive or their age (I find that older men are more interested in pleasing women than younger men).
The vibrator wasn’t was comfortable to use. All I felt was irritated. Even at the lowest setting it was uncomfortable. So, needless to say, I had to fake an orgasm to move the session along. He was working hard for that orgasm and I didn’t want to disappoint him.
What happened next was the more fun and interesting part of the session for me. As we lay next to one another, he broke character in our role play.
He started confessing that he fantasizes about me when I am not around. He told me that he masturbated in the bathroom at work while thinking about me the other day. I had no idea I had made this sort of impression on him. I knew he enjoyed our sessions. We have good chemistry. But hearing that the memory of me and our sessions was enough to get him off made me high.
Anyhow, while I was drunk off this ego-boost, I got ready to “close out” the session.
While I was on top, I leaned in close to his ear for some dirty talk (whispering in his ear is one of his buttons). He is one of those guys that likes to draw out the pleasure of penetration so, if he feels like he is coming to the edge, he slows down the pace.
We got close at the very beginning and then he asked me to slow down. Then he came closer to orgasm again and straight out told me to stop moving altogether. He said “don’t even talk” (the whispering in his ear would have drawn him closer). But he couldn’t hold back and he started the motion again (“I just can’t help myself!!!” 😂😂😂). Man, that shit was fun. He couldn’t see it but I was leaning over and smiling from ear to ear, while he wriggled in ecstasy beneath me.
After he calmed down, he said “that was amazing” and thanked me.
He tipped me once at the beginning of the session and then tipped me at the end as well. He tipped exactly 40%. From now on, he will get preferential treatment. He’s a dream client. We have good chemistry, he is stylish (stylish men turn me on!), attractive, has a wonderful smile, pleasant, intelligent, and he tips well.
However, I am a little intimated by him because he’s so frank while also being very kind. I envy people who are more honest than I am without being brutal.
White men have no need to hold back because many of them are privileged enough to be not be affected by other people’s opinion of them. Therefore, I think they’re sometimes able to develop better social skills than others. They have so much freedom to be exactly who they are, without apology, and that leaves a lot of room for personal growth. Anyhow, that’s my perspective on why white men are often so honest without apology.
Fuck… In general, I think our “relationship” has reached a new level. We enjoy one another. I might be in trouble.
