These nights always seemed to come. One of them would call the other in tears, and then they’d hang out so they could calm down. It was nice, and Chris enjoyed having somebody to talk to when he was sad
Tonight it was Jake. Jake called Chris around midnight, sobbing, and of course Chris went over to see him. He lightly pet Jakes hair as Jake laid against him, hoping to calm him “I miss him too, Jake” he whispered softly, closing his eyes. Jakes birthday was coming up soon, and Chris knew that would be hell for Jake. It was weird to just say Jakes birthday. Josh and Jake had never been apart for one of their birthdays, and now, Jake would have to go the rest of his life without Josh, and, Jake had realized that, which had sent him into this crying
“I know. I know. I’m so sorry, Jake” he mumbled softly, his breath catching in his chest as he just tried not to cry as well. It didn’t work. A few moments later, Chris was crying too, and both Jake and Chris were trying to calm the other down, but eventually it worked. When they both wiped their eyes and calmed their breathing, that’s when it happened, Chris kissed Jake. It was sudden, and impulsive, but it felt right. They were the only ones they had now, and it felt right to be together.
Chris kissed Jake sweetly and softly, his lips melding against the others, the slight taste of salty tears against their lips as they kissed. Chris made sure to hold Jake close, holding on like, if he let go, he’d lose him too
He could hardly speak over the phone, throat clogged with tears and sobbing hiccups. But Chris knew, knew from repeated calls over the months since the night on the mountain.
(Which one? The one where your sisters disappeared into a blizzard, or the one where your twin brother tormented his nearest-and-dearest?)
He’s probably alone in the house, until Chris turns up. And at the banging at his door, he suddenly remembers that he’d wedged his desk chair under the handle, and scrambles out of bed on shaky legs to remove it. “S-S-So-Sorry.”
They curl up on the bed, in the gloom, and it starts again -- both crying, both trying to calm the other.
Time passes. Calmed. And then--
His stomach is in flip-flops, tired as he is, worn out from crying, but he still holds onto Chris just the same. Still sniffling, he pulls back for a moment.
It feels too early. And maybe it might feel like that for a long time. He’s allowed this, right?
“... OK, um.” He tries for words, then gives up, and kisses Chris again, even as another bubble of tears rises.
Don’t let go. Don’t you dare let go.
